I admit, I'm a fan of The Rock, and that's why I went to see "The Scorpion King." I know now that I should have gone to the matinee showing. No, better yet, I should have stayed home and given myself a root canal with my Makita cordless.
I had the feeling from the trailer that the film was going to be a campy, B-grade romp, and I love B-grade flicks -- my VHS cabinet at home is blessed with titles such as "Wing Commander," "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," "Krull," and "The Fifth Element." However, the plot in Scorpion King was so thin, the dialogue so shallow, and the acting (and directing) were so poor, that even I found the movie to be objectionable. Only the addition of fire ants to my movie theater seat could have made me hate that experience more.
The film has been aimed squarely at the 11-year-old boys of our nation. Anyone younger than that shouldn't be exposed to the (bloodless) violence, and anyone older than that will hate the empty dialogue and putrid script. The entire movie is one long string of PlayStation-esque fight scenes sewn together with an extremely feeble thread (which the writers, in their best attempt at humor, call a "storyline") that does not do justice to the reasonably well put together movies also in this franchise ("The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns"). The Rock, who does honestly have some acting ability, tries hard to keep the film engaging, but the vapid performances of those around him remind me of the barrel full of discarded toy parts in "Toy Story 2" as they reach up and drag Woody down into oblivion.
I understand now why the trailer for this movie was set to the theme music from "Conan the Barbarian" -- this movies wants desperately to be a classic fantasy film just as that one was. Take my advice: Take the $8.50 you'll shell out on "The Scorpion King" and use it to rent "Conan the Barbarian," "Gladiator," and one of those movies from the adult section (since you'll be missing all the bikini-clad women hanging around in The Rock's world). Then go home and enjoy some true Hollywood entertainment.
I had the feeling from the trailer that the film was going to be a campy, B-grade romp, and I love B-grade flicks -- my VHS cabinet at home is blessed with titles such as "Wing Commander," "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," "Krull," and "The Fifth Element." However, the plot in Scorpion King was so thin, the dialogue so shallow, and the acting (and directing) were so poor, that even I found the movie to be objectionable. Only the addition of fire ants to my movie theater seat could have made me hate that experience more.
The film has been aimed squarely at the 11-year-old boys of our nation. Anyone younger than that shouldn't be exposed to the (bloodless) violence, and anyone older than that will hate the empty dialogue and putrid script. The entire movie is one long string of PlayStation-esque fight scenes sewn together with an extremely feeble thread (which the writers, in their best attempt at humor, call a "storyline") that does not do justice to the reasonably well put together movies also in this franchise ("The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns"). The Rock, who does honestly have some acting ability, tries hard to keep the film engaging, but the vapid performances of those around him remind me of the barrel full of discarded toy parts in "Toy Story 2" as they reach up and drag Woody down into oblivion.
I understand now why the trailer for this movie was set to the theme music from "Conan the Barbarian" -- this movies wants desperately to be a classic fantasy film just as that one was. Take my advice: Take the $8.50 you'll shell out on "The Scorpion King" and use it to rent "Conan the Barbarian," "Gladiator," and one of those movies from the adult section (since you'll be missing all the bikini-clad women hanging around in The Rock's world). Then go home and enjoy some true Hollywood entertainment.