2/10
Awful. Just Awful.
9 November 2002
There comes a time in a movie when it stops being a movie. Though not exactly sure when that is, I can tell you it doesn't take long here. This was the last kung fu movie I ever rented, because I couldn't stand the chance of renting another like it again. This movie was so unbelievably bad, I hold it in the special, sado-mas part of my heart, and if I ever gain enemies, I will know exactly how to deal with them. I will strap them to a chair and force them to watch a double bill featuring Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu, and Panther Squad. Then, if they're still breathing, I'll serve them a lethal dose of Prototype x29A. Which movie is worse? I don't know, but I'm not up to watching all three consecutively to decide.

Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu will bore a hole into your skull and live in your mind like a virus, and any attempt to decipher or understand the meaning of this movie will result in a permanent loss of all brain functions. I once dubbed a copy of Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu and Panther Squad onto the same tape for a friend, and I thought I was going to burn my hand off touching the video. Remember this simple piece of advice while watching this movie. Do not induce vomiting.

Scott says: Keep the three movies listed above far apart from each other. If they all come in contact together, they will open the gates of movie hell and swallow all that is decent into it.
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