Table for One (1999)
2/10
Good Acting Can't Save Bad Writing
24 February 2001
Oh, yuck. Like Lemos (see his comment), I watched this because there was nothing better to do -- though I'm glad I saw it on cable and didn't pay for it. And also like Lemos, I agree that Ms. DeMornay is wonderfully seductive, with scenes in this movie nearly precisely like those in which she enchanted Tom Cruise and the rest of us in "Risky Business" so long ago. What a shame she can't get better roles! Must she *always* play a prostitute? (sigh) Well. Not her fault that Hollywood wants her naked or not at all.

The worst thing about this movie was not its misuse of DeMornay, but rather its misuse of viewer time. Yes, she plays a nut, and is very convincingly nutty. (And yes, the movie complies perfectly with the Hollywood Rules for Mental Illness: if female, the person must be either an elderly hag who eats garbage, or a gorgeous young nymphomaniac).

But as convincing as DeMornay is, the plot just is NOT. There is no way that one, much less two, adult men would be interested in this goofball for more than a single sweaty half-hour. Both of the men are not-quite-right-in-the-head either, but the writer (who is also the director) gave them the dignity of being both less conspicuously nude and less conspicuously nuts than the female character.

Summary: a little sexy, a little creepy, a lot boring, and even more annoying. Unless DeMornay is your particular dream girl, don't waste your time.
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