Steven Spielberg was executive producer. What's the point? There were no opening credits.
Saving grace - the puppetmaster God himself, Stan Winston. His talent is unsurpassed and undeniable: incredible dinosaurs from start to finish. But this is also the man who brought us the imagery of Jurassic Park 1, Jurassic Park 2, The Terminator, Terminator 2, Aliens as well as Predator (so how can we expect anything-less-than-fascinating creature effects to a point past realism, creeping toward nightmare inducing). Mr Winston, you are an asset to the industry and I thank you for your contribution to cinema and my imagination.
Now back to our regularly scheduled movie review. Which movie, you ask? The one suffering from massive "coincidental" syndrome? Yeah, that's the one.
Mystery Science Yourassic Park 3,000 --- pure crap. Not provoking. Not thoughtful. Dense fun from a rather ignorant writer, but I won't mention his name. The fable is pathetic and stupid. A low-level quality story lacking an absorbing resurrection usually desirable in sequels. JP means fun masochism, not shovelful-ed ingredients of "look" "dinosaur" "run" "escape" "relax" (repeat cycle).
Come on, what am I stupid? Dinosaurs in embryonic, liquid-filled chambers and kids surviving weeks alone in lonely, violent environments (can you say Newt from Aliens?). Idiotic conceptions with probability. [Everything is laid out so smooooothly, and always on schedule. How boring.]
It's not funny. At least not humor for an intelligent person. Overall, this movie was not written by an intelligent person and isn't geared to entertain an intelligent person. It's just dumb at this point. The Jurassic Park franchise is alive and well due to clever pioneers, but in the wrong hands it's an ugly nothing. The not-as-glamorous, not-as-interesting, paler, thinner, extracted little brother of the original.
The setting is murky, misty, green and stinky. HORRIBLE sense of location. You just don't know where the characters are or where they're coming from. No internal philosophy with the haunting unpredictability when the dinosaurs emerge from the great unseen of the lush forest. The all-Caucasian cast are in this hazardous, venomous environment but don't realize the potential of their horror. They are out in the open and not panicking because there is no dino-scene scheduled at this time - and they know it. In a good movie, nobody EVER knows. It's in the fear of the mystery that we become enveloped; it's then when our imaginations create the uncreatable and we get our delicious terror. Fear of the unknown, fear of what's out there --- THAT is good cinema. But not now. Not here. Not in JP3. Nothing new. Nothing fun. Only a dissolved concept in a dead movie not even a ghost of the first. Not even worth remembering. I wish I never saw it. My idea of what JP3 was going to be before going was more interesting than any of the regurgitated impetuosity that the movie actually was. It sucked.
Jurassic Park 3, you are extinct. 2 stillborn raptors out of 10.
Saving grace - the puppetmaster God himself, Stan Winston. His talent is unsurpassed and undeniable: incredible dinosaurs from start to finish. But this is also the man who brought us the imagery of Jurassic Park 1, Jurassic Park 2, The Terminator, Terminator 2, Aliens as well as Predator (so how can we expect anything-less-than-fascinating creature effects to a point past realism, creeping toward nightmare inducing). Mr Winston, you are an asset to the industry and I thank you for your contribution to cinema and my imagination.
Now back to our regularly scheduled movie review. Which movie, you ask? The one suffering from massive "coincidental" syndrome? Yeah, that's the one.
Mystery Science Yourassic Park 3,000 --- pure crap. Not provoking. Not thoughtful. Dense fun from a rather ignorant writer, but I won't mention his name. The fable is pathetic and stupid. A low-level quality story lacking an absorbing resurrection usually desirable in sequels. JP means fun masochism, not shovelful-ed ingredients of "look" "dinosaur" "run" "escape" "relax" (repeat cycle).
Come on, what am I stupid? Dinosaurs in embryonic, liquid-filled chambers and kids surviving weeks alone in lonely, violent environments (can you say Newt from Aliens?). Idiotic conceptions with probability. [Everything is laid out so smooooothly, and always on schedule. How boring.]
It's not funny. At least not humor for an intelligent person. Overall, this movie was not written by an intelligent person and isn't geared to entertain an intelligent person. It's just dumb at this point. The Jurassic Park franchise is alive and well due to clever pioneers, but in the wrong hands it's an ugly nothing. The not-as-glamorous, not-as-interesting, paler, thinner, extracted little brother of the original.
The setting is murky, misty, green and stinky. HORRIBLE sense of location. You just don't know where the characters are or where they're coming from. No internal philosophy with the haunting unpredictability when the dinosaurs emerge from the great unseen of the lush forest. The all-Caucasian cast are in this hazardous, venomous environment but don't realize the potential of their horror. They are out in the open and not panicking because there is no dino-scene scheduled at this time - and they know it. In a good movie, nobody EVER knows. It's in the fear of the mystery that we become enveloped; it's then when our imaginations create the uncreatable and we get our delicious terror. Fear of the unknown, fear of what's out there --- THAT is good cinema. But not now. Not here. Not in JP3. Nothing new. Nothing fun. Only a dissolved concept in a dead movie not even a ghost of the first. Not even worth remembering. I wish I never saw it. My idea of what JP3 was going to be before going was more interesting than any of the regurgitated impetuosity that the movie actually was. It sucked.
Jurassic Park 3, you are extinct. 2 stillborn raptors out of 10.