Random Hearts (1999)
1/10
like Ishtar...just not as funny
9 October 1999
If you like Harrison Ford, you probably shouldn't see this movie. If you're a fan of Pollack, you should stay away as well. In fact, if you like movies at all you should sit on your seven bucks and skip this disaster. Random Hearts is one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. In the first 30 minutes, I kept wondering how the movie would reel me in. I then discovered that this would not happen and sat through the last 1:45 in pure amazement that I hadn't left the theater. I have walked out on two movies in my entire life and Random Hearts made a strong bid for number 3. The only reason I didn't leave was that the film bored me to such a point of lethargy that I could not muster the strength to leave my seat. The script was terrible, the acting was uninspired and awkward, the direction was cheesy(how many times must I watch two forlorn characters touch fingers through a pane of glass?) and the score was downright annoying. Also, the scene in the airport parking lot was one of the worst I have ever seen. I laughed out loud(no, it wasn't supposed to be funny) and then actually shielded my eyes to thwart an oncoming feeling of blindness. Ford as the star and Pollack as the director may garner funding, but it won't necessarily make a good movie. Random Hearts was pure cinematic torture. Parting questions:

1) Did Harrison Ford lose a bet? 2) Is a week long enough to mourn for a deceased spouse?

If anyone can answer yes to these, the movie makes a lot more sense.
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