Go on, guess. Give up? Well, it turns out that Dracula grew a goatee, travelled to '70s America, bought a castle and moved in with a gang of hippies. At least that's the premise for this zero-budget grade Z movie which brings a whole new meaning to the word "camp". Trust Something Weird to dig up this drug-fuelled obscurity from the forgotten vaults where it so deservedly languished for twenty-five years. It turns out that this film is one of the most wretched (and I've seen a fair few bad movies) and weirdest that I've ever had the (mis)fortune to watch! It's a talk-filled film packed with 90% dialogue, 5% ritual and 5% driving (more on that later).
Although it clocks in at just under ninety minutes this movie still feels like it lasts an age, possibly three times that long. It's very boring to watch because nothing really happens, and the poor film stock used gives it a grainy, faded picture. Most things happen in darkness and are hard to make out and don't even get me started on the sound; it's recorded in an appallingly tinny way so that a large portion of the dialogue is obscured - maybe deservedly so! Still, as hard as it may seem to believe, this film does have some points in its favour. It's offbeat and surreal and unpredictable, three factors which automatically serve to make a film interesting. Some bits - like the opening credits which show a black-hooded figure reading from a book - show some real inventiveness and/or imagination, although admittedly these are few and far between. Watching this movie you have to imagine what drug-addled minds were actually responsible for this trash. You may also find yourself asking whether it's a comedy or not; there are a number of intentionally funny scenes but these are outweighed by loads of serious ones. Sure, there is comedy, but at times you don't know whether the comedy is intentional or not! I guess it is for the most part but it's hard to tell.
The tired plot has Dracula searching for and vampirising an innocent girl to be his bride, while her wooden boyfriend stands around looking daze. It appears that this story wasn't long enough, though, so a couple of rituals (one lasting ten minutes!) have been interested in to pad out the running time. These are set in the basement of Dracula's castle (also known as Dracula's Dungeon and serving as a tourist attraction and tavern!), feature lots of made-up people chanting "humba" and set to disorientating music - just like in INCENSE FOR THE DAMNED actually. One man is fed a snake by a belly dancer while the rest are content to just sit and overact.
The most incredible thing about this film is Count Adrian (what a name!) himself. With his pasty-faced features, goatee beard, and dark eye sockets, Adrian is an unforgettable image. Adrian is like no other screen Dracula in that he constantly mugs at the camera, occasionally proves himself to be endearing through his stupidity (banging his head on a wall) and has paper fangs! Des Roberts also gives Roger Moore a run for his money in terms of eyebrow-raising! Check out that hilarious dialogue too ("I drink only blood...uh...Bloody Mary!"). Adrian is in the small minority of "camp vamps" in that I'm sure his character is homosexual even though he pursues a girl throughout the movie! Complete with his mock-Lugosi accent and terrible '70s fashions, Adrian really is an unforgettable character and has to be seen to be believed - although not necessarily in a good way! Sadly the supporting cast can't match Roberts' bizarre performance so are left as either wooden or over-the-top. Certainly the latter can be said of the people residing in Dracula's basement - a bigger gang of deadbeats, trippers, hippies, hunchbacks, and weirdos you'll never see. One vampire assistant has to be locked up after a hilarious psychic battle with Dracula which sees the pair circling each other interminably while odd noises emit from them! Also check out the guest appearance from the gorilla behind bars! Another of Dracula's disciples is an irritating old-lady fortune teller who spends all of her screen time laughing manically. It's a crazy world.
Things end in a downbeat fashion with Angelica going off with Drac after biting her boyfriend. By this stage you'll either be too glazed over to care or simply asleep. Viewers expecting typical vampire mythology will be confused too. Although Dracula can only come out at night, drinks blood, and lives in a castle, that's about all of the conventions. Here, he casts a reflection, sleeps on a table and wears modern (well '70s) clothes! Hilariously he claims not to be a communist even though he comes from Romania! Other "highlights" include a girl eating a raw and very bloody steak after being vampirised, and the same girl lying on a bed and looking around her bedroom...for over FIVE minutes! The only "special" effects you get in this movie are a couple of scenes where Dracula suddenly appears out of nowhere or teleports in the cheapest way possible (just jumping the film a few frames). The editing has been done by a five year old apparently and the direction makes Jess Franco seem like the next Stanley Kubrick. It's no surprise that director Laurence Merrick only made two or three films in this period before disappearing forever! Despite being technically an incompetent and terrible film, some undemanding fans may get a kick out of this just from the era in which it was made and all the influences it has. Plus the bizarre humour which is also an asset. However, I have highlighted all the items of interest in the film in the above review, and trust me the rest is plain boring. In no account should anybody be foolish enough to go out of their way to see this movie!
Although it clocks in at just under ninety minutes this movie still feels like it lasts an age, possibly three times that long. It's very boring to watch because nothing really happens, and the poor film stock used gives it a grainy, faded picture. Most things happen in darkness and are hard to make out and don't even get me started on the sound; it's recorded in an appallingly tinny way so that a large portion of the dialogue is obscured - maybe deservedly so! Still, as hard as it may seem to believe, this film does have some points in its favour. It's offbeat and surreal and unpredictable, three factors which automatically serve to make a film interesting. Some bits - like the opening credits which show a black-hooded figure reading from a book - show some real inventiveness and/or imagination, although admittedly these are few and far between. Watching this movie you have to imagine what drug-addled minds were actually responsible for this trash. You may also find yourself asking whether it's a comedy or not; there are a number of intentionally funny scenes but these are outweighed by loads of serious ones. Sure, there is comedy, but at times you don't know whether the comedy is intentional or not! I guess it is for the most part but it's hard to tell.
The tired plot has Dracula searching for and vampirising an innocent girl to be his bride, while her wooden boyfriend stands around looking daze. It appears that this story wasn't long enough, though, so a couple of rituals (one lasting ten minutes!) have been interested in to pad out the running time. These are set in the basement of Dracula's castle (also known as Dracula's Dungeon and serving as a tourist attraction and tavern!), feature lots of made-up people chanting "humba" and set to disorientating music - just like in INCENSE FOR THE DAMNED actually. One man is fed a snake by a belly dancer while the rest are content to just sit and overact.
The most incredible thing about this film is Count Adrian (what a name!) himself. With his pasty-faced features, goatee beard, and dark eye sockets, Adrian is an unforgettable image. Adrian is like no other screen Dracula in that he constantly mugs at the camera, occasionally proves himself to be endearing through his stupidity (banging his head on a wall) and has paper fangs! Des Roberts also gives Roger Moore a run for his money in terms of eyebrow-raising! Check out that hilarious dialogue too ("I drink only blood...uh...Bloody Mary!"). Adrian is in the small minority of "camp vamps" in that I'm sure his character is homosexual even though he pursues a girl throughout the movie! Complete with his mock-Lugosi accent and terrible '70s fashions, Adrian really is an unforgettable character and has to be seen to be believed - although not necessarily in a good way! Sadly the supporting cast can't match Roberts' bizarre performance so are left as either wooden or over-the-top. Certainly the latter can be said of the people residing in Dracula's basement - a bigger gang of deadbeats, trippers, hippies, hunchbacks, and weirdos you'll never see. One vampire assistant has to be locked up after a hilarious psychic battle with Dracula which sees the pair circling each other interminably while odd noises emit from them! Also check out the guest appearance from the gorilla behind bars! Another of Dracula's disciples is an irritating old-lady fortune teller who spends all of her screen time laughing manically. It's a crazy world.
Things end in a downbeat fashion with Angelica going off with Drac after biting her boyfriend. By this stage you'll either be too glazed over to care or simply asleep. Viewers expecting typical vampire mythology will be confused too. Although Dracula can only come out at night, drinks blood, and lives in a castle, that's about all of the conventions. Here, he casts a reflection, sleeps on a table and wears modern (well '70s) clothes! Hilariously he claims not to be a communist even though he comes from Romania! Other "highlights" include a girl eating a raw and very bloody steak after being vampirised, and the same girl lying on a bed and looking around her bedroom...for over FIVE minutes! The only "special" effects you get in this movie are a couple of scenes where Dracula suddenly appears out of nowhere or teleports in the cheapest way possible (just jumping the film a few frames). The editing has been done by a five year old apparently and the direction makes Jess Franco seem like the next Stanley Kubrick. It's no surprise that director Laurence Merrick only made two or three films in this period before disappearing forever! Despite being technically an incompetent and terrible film, some undemanding fans may get a kick out of this just from the era in which it was made and all the influences it has. Plus the bizarre humour which is also an asset. However, I have highlighted all the items of interest in the film in the above review, and trust me the rest is plain boring. In no account should anybody be foolish enough to go out of their way to see this movie!