And I saw it on MST3K. Watching this is like being hypnotized by Bela Lugosi. SLEEP!
But I'd better paraphrase an already paraphrased movie.
The film starts out on a Battlestar Galactica rip-off. We never see any actors, we just hear their voices. Later, one of the survivors (who must've been cloned to resemble Jean Claude Van-Damme to the most minute detail) lands on Earth and runs from Robert Z'Dar, who thankfully resembles no one I know. They have a fight among a bunch of boxes, Z'dar gets killed, and a dinosaur puppet blows up. Yes, they tried to spice things up by adding dinosaurs. If this segment is any indication, it's all down hill from here. The Guy meets a nun and some fat guys, and a little kid, a dinosaur attacks and the fat guys get eaten or something, and then the nun and the runaway jog-walk out of danger and narrate the rest of the picture, which has to deal with the nun's friend who died.
Anything else to mention? Forrest J. Ackermann dies. A few actors appear twice in the film. Robert Z'Dar comes back to life and attacks the runaway on their wedding day at the phoniest looking church in history (think ramp for people in wheelchairs.)
What else can I say? I'm the kind of guy who would chop off my arm if it could get me another Ed Wood movie, and yet this is too painful for me to watch, even. If thine eyes offend thee, pluck them out!
But I'd better paraphrase an already paraphrased movie.
The film starts out on a Battlestar Galactica rip-off. We never see any actors, we just hear their voices. Later, one of the survivors (who must've been cloned to resemble Jean Claude Van-Damme to the most minute detail) lands on Earth and runs from Robert Z'Dar, who thankfully resembles no one I know. They have a fight among a bunch of boxes, Z'dar gets killed, and a dinosaur puppet blows up. Yes, they tried to spice things up by adding dinosaurs. If this segment is any indication, it's all down hill from here. The Guy meets a nun and some fat guys, and a little kid, a dinosaur attacks and the fat guys get eaten or something, and then the nun and the runaway jog-walk out of danger and narrate the rest of the picture, which has to deal with the nun's friend who died.
Anything else to mention? Forrest J. Ackermann dies. A few actors appear twice in the film. Robert Z'Dar comes back to life and attacks the runaway on their wedding day at the phoniest looking church in history (think ramp for people in wheelchairs.)
What else can I say? I'm the kind of guy who would chop off my arm if it could get me another Ed Wood movie, and yet this is too painful for me to watch, even. If thine eyes offend thee, pluck them out!