Review of Pumpkinhead

Pumpkinhead (1988)
Blah Blah Blah
29 September 1999
Watching this one is like getting all the 80's horror cliches you need to make witty observations on the cliches of 80's horror flicks.

Directed by holier-than-KNB FX wizard Stan Winston, Lance "Just Forget About Man's Best Friend" Henrickson is a scorned daddy who after his autistic son is murdered by a bunch of dirtbike-riding hooligans, enlists the services of Pumpkinhead, a demon who also dabbles in the professional hitman trade. The film then goes into automatic, offing all the ne'er-do-well teenagers until Lance is happy.

Okay, the plot is basically the same as every other schlocker: for some reason or another, someone gets their feelings hurt (on varying degrees) and the clique that started trouble is methodically hunted down and killed one by one, usually each in grandiose fashion (depending on whether or not they're in some sort of factory or warehouse). There is ALWAYS (no exceptions whatsoever) at least *some* premarital, crazy, teenage sex going on in the movies (which may or may not be interrupted by a death scene).

Pumpkinhead follows this almost to a tee (replace factory/warehouse with tool shed). This film was never anything more than letting Winston live out his directing fantasy so he'd keep making badass animatronics for James Cameron. Sure, Henrickson's character has a right to be miffed and has a right to want vengeance, but the only problem I had with the rest of it was I didn't like the Pumpkinhead character. He moved a little better than the special effects in "Evil Dead 2", and wasn't anymore original than Jason or even the friggin' Ghoulies. The reason this didn't work was because you weren't rooting for anyone. I was waiting for those darn pests to get gutted with some bravado, but I'm left with the personality-less PH.

Bottom line is that the only way for Pumpkinhead to work is if you rename the villain Leprechaun.
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