3/10
*SLURP!*
6 May 2004
This was the first movie I'd seen with Kinski in a starring role, and unfortunately I had to see a bootleg copy as that was the only option available to me. And I don't know if it was the quality of the bootleg or maybe a lazy director of photography, but three fourths of this movie are as dark as a poorly-edited, moonless night!

Besides Kinski's charisma (that you can't even see in this movie anyway) and the cool way he's filmed in the beginning, with the camera roving and encircling and following him like he's a God himself, And God Said to Cain has nothing going for it. Story wise it plays all its cards right away, with the big confrontation/reveal being just about as quaint as anything you could imagine. Immediately our hero, "Gary", knows who his foe is and what he wants to do to him, and the entire movie is his monotonous advance toward doing it. There are some bad guys who stand around in the dark (at least I think they were guys; I'm not kidding about it being dark) who Gary shoots every once in a while, but mostly the movie consists of Gary taking half an hour to walk through a cave, and a priest being shot, then getting up and pounding on the organ, then getting shot, then getting up and pounding on the organ, then getting shot... at this point in the movie I was finding my fingernails pretty interesting (and well lit).

The atrocious lighting and boring story are the fundamental flaws, but there are pet peeves I have with it, too. "Gary" isn't exactly a mythical, awe-inspiring name. One of the big sub-plots is an impending tornado that everyone seems able to predict. "How long do you think we have before it gets here," Gary says to an old man who obnoxiously slurps every bite of his food LOUDLY, and for what seems like HOURS. Here, the director decided that pointing the camera directly at the sun might make a good contrast to the rest of the movie being filmed in the coat closet, but to me it didn't make any sense. "Say, where are you going with that mattress?" "Why, I'm taking it to the saloon, to cover the whiskey so it won't be destroyed by the tornado that's coming tonight!" Yep, an uncanny meteorological sense, even among the drunks.

I wanted to see it because it seemed obscure, I like what I've seen of Klaus Kinski, and "And God Said to Cain" is a really cool-sounding title. What it was, however, was a movie not only mundane and plodding, but frustrating in that you can't see what's happening. Oh, and there was also the slurping.
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