5/10
Hell On Earth
15 May 2004
****SPOILERS**** The dynamic Mister "D", Lon Cheney Jr. is having serious problems in his underground domain with the population increasing and his real estate holding staying the same a major housing shortage has developed. Mr "D" could have come to the point right away in the movie about how to alleviate this nuisance but for the sake of the movie audience he padded the film with three episodes that really have nothing to do with his attempt to increase his land holdings. Getting a new tenant to his apartment complex, Satanya, who killed herself after her lover left her Mr. "D" gives her a chance to redeem herself by going upstairs and getting people to do things that would land them as new tenants down here with Mister "D".

The first story is about a sex-crazed photographer, Don, who's burning out from chasing the ladies. Don is advised by his friend Charlie to take a trip up north to New England to cool off his inflamed libido. Taking pictures Don noticed a women coming out of a house that he photographed and as if he were possessed he runs after her in the snow and ends up attacking and killing her. Back home one of the photos that he took of the house where the women came from begins to take on a life of it's own. The woman appearing in it seems to takes up all the space in the picture. Slowly going insane Don starts drinking and when he sees his friend Charlie at a local bar he goes nuts and belts Charlie when he tries to help him by having him get medical attention. Running back to his home he tears up the photo of the woman but she becomes alive and appears in the flesh which gives Don a heart attack and kills him.

The next story has to do with the discovery of a 50,000 year old block of ice with a woman in it. Dr. Sistrum who's examining it becomes obsessed with the Ice Queen and convinces himself that he and she were lovers from another time. Dr. Sistrum wants to continue that affair after he thaws her out. The doc is then overruled by Professor Olsen who's in charge of the ice cube and tells Dr. Sistrum that he's going to dissect the frozen mummy to see what made her tick.

Prof. Olsen catching Dr. Sistrum in the ice box with the frozen cadaver one night tells Dr. Sistrum to get out of there. Sistrum enraged attacks Olsen and after knocking him out freezes him to death by pouring water on him and then hiding his body. Now free to do what he wants Dr. Sistrum turns on the heat to free his long lost lover from her icy internment but what happens is that she drowns from the melting ice and turns to snow!

The third and last story has to do with Satanya's boyfriend who drove her to suicide, John, who's having nightmares about him going into a house and everything goes blank. Seeing the house that he saw in his nightmare one night John goes in and finds that it belongs to a Madame Germaine a local fortune teller.

Having his future told to him John finds out that he'll die at midnight and it would be Madame Germaine who kills him. John at first laughing it off begins to realize that what Madame Germaine told him about himself is coming true. She predicted that he'll go on a trip to Egypt and later he wins a free ticket to go there and that he'll meet a man with a deep scar just before he dies Later John sees a man with a scar on his hand, banging on the phone booth, as he's trying to get help by calling his doctor as well as the police to prevent him being murdered.

With nobody coming to his aid John then goes back to see Madame Germaine and plans to kill her before she kills him. After stabbing Madame Germaine and then pushing her down a railing John goes to see if she's alive but as he looks up he sees a statue of Madame Germaine, that was loosen when the railing broke, fall on him and crushes him to death. When the police find John's body they find that only he was killed and there was no Madame Germaine and the house that he was killed in was empty and condemned.

All three people in these episodes ended up downstairs with a little help from Satanya by planting items for them to help them get there, Mister "D"'s housing complex, somewhat faster. Back to the pit of fire John and Satanya together again are told by Mr. "D" that he has something for them to bring to the surface and give to the world powers to play with: The formula to build a 500 megaton nuclear bomb! With that we see the world explode in a mushroom cloud and with it getting as hot up there as it's down here with Mr. "D". With that Mr. "D" gets to control both upstairs and downstairs of the earth and his pressing housing problems are finally over.

Those three interesting but totally unrelated stories were in all probability put into the movie to make "Devil's Messenger" a full-length motion picture. Without them the film would have been about as long as a Pespi commercial.
13 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed