TIGHTS, FIGHTS & RIGHTS -ALRIGHT?
29 January 2001
This is the one where Columbia decided to re-do Warner Brothers' ROBIN HOOD [1938]. But there was a problem. That one ended- like World War II- with Robin vanquishing England's enemies; now boring old peace had broken out again and both Richard the Lionheart and Robin were nearing the colostomy bag stage. Hell -Robin hada been doing sumpin all those years? Heck yes! He had done what every returned American GI did -he procreated! He had a son -Bob Hood [Cornel Wilde] who looked more Czechoslovakian than English but no matter. Same dab hand with a bow a blow and a beauty, same mindless sense of humour -a pea from the pod you might say; except he couldn't be pea green like colostomy-quivering Robin, but grey. Grey Bob was allowed green underwear, though.

So much for his hose -but what about foes? History was singularly unhelpful, because in spite of green Robin & his Geriatrics' heroics the dreaded King John succeeded King Dick and died in his bed. So -what do do? Well. Columbia's script department came up with the despotic Regent [Henry Danielle] who could have been any one of a number shadowy XII century characters, and -straight from an American child-actor catalogue- a boy King [Maurice Tauzin] who had to be prevented from signing anything.

So, Bob with a cause still needed to get his paws on a broad. Enter a bleach blonde cut-price Betty Grable with a voice to die from, Lady Catherine Maitland [Anita Louise] and this technicolor 1940 period Valhalla was complete. This movie is unique for raising awareness of [1] medieval colour blindness -because in spite of having red lips that would halt freeway traffic, and a bombshell hairdon't, Anita Louise manages to pass herself off as the Prioress of Buxton -and [2] the little-known practice of becoming muscular on half female prison rations -which Bob did before putting paid to the evil Regent.

Generally the supporting players, Jill Esmond [Queen Mother] looking older than 38, but back in movies after being deserted with a new-born baby in 1940 by Laurence Olivier for Vivien Leigh, Lloyd Corrigan [Sheriff of Nottingham] and George Macready [Fitz-Herbert], helped make this the kind of movie which made -not only kids but adults- leave the cinema feeling braver, stronger and more righteous.
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