Oh, Fifty Shades Darker. It’s impossible to fantasize about what could have been. Foundations for an erotic trashterpiece are laid, but director James Foley doesn’t understand camp sensibilities. With someone like Rob Cohen in charge (The Boy Next Door, anyone?), all those flatlining dramatics and misplaced jokes would gel together. Fluid sensuality with spanking, oils and cuffs, dictated by a sadist who gets off on punishing mommy lookalikes (hawt). Instead, Foley’s tonal jerkiness kills the mood like an awkward boner, shocking this dominating system with unexpected diversions.
Oh, but this is the relationshippy Fifty Shades entry. Right. Christian Grey (A Bucket Of Dry Cement Jamie Dornan) cannot live another day with Anastasia (Dakota Johnson), so he opens contract negotiations. No punishments, no rules, and no secrets. Ana doesn’t take much convincing, and their relationship blossoms under the new respectful boundaries. Sexual desires become less whippy, but something still isn’t right.
Oh, but this is the relationshippy Fifty Shades entry. Right. Christian Grey (A Bucket Of Dry Cement Jamie Dornan) cannot live another day with Anastasia (Dakota Johnson), so he opens contract negotiations. No punishments, no rules, and no secrets. Ana doesn’t take much convincing, and their relationship blossoms under the new respectful boundaries. Sexual desires become less whippy, but something still isn’t right.
- 2/9/2017
- by Matt Donato
- We Got This Covered
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