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Reviews
Nightmare Box (2013)
Something different and pretty interesting
Anyone who gives this less than 5 and all you idiots blasting this film... really? I doubt if you have a brain cell between you. This is no big budget hollywood horror. If that's all you watch this isn't for you. But what it IS is a well written and well acted piece of art that has an above average director at its helm. To make an engaging film set in just one room is hard enough in itself but to draw good actors into the mix on a very very very small budget is even more of a talent. The subject matter is very fetishistic, playing with themes of bondage and S+M a bit too much for it not to obviously be the directors own fantasy come to life. That said it is intriguing and entertaining enough to keep you watching for 90mins to see the outcome. Just don't watch it with your mum. Passing note to all the 1,2,3,4 star idiots, you have no Buisiness reviewing movies at all. Keep your views to FB.
The War of the Worlds (2019)
OMG WHAT A MESS - You'll be wishing you were watching the almost as bad Tom Cruise version instead
Badly cast. Badly acted. Badly directed but overall really badly written. How can such an amazing story be turned into the most boring event in TV history. I mean even when the Martians stride across landscapes in their huge machines it's like watching paint dry. The main characters will leave you decidedly uninterested and the directing just pitiful. This was much too big a project for this director to take on. There's hardly one interesting shot or direction in it. And as for the music OMG! With everyone declaring Jeff Waynes work a masterpiece you'd think they would have pulled out all the stops with the music score but no... it's some wish washy uninspiring drivel all the way through. Better to have used Wayne's music and licensed it. Characters that were massive in the musical and book just come and go like paper bags drifting across the camera. When the Brits take down a tripod it's like oh Mehhhhh, whatever. No drama. No building of excitement. Nothing. It just falls over in the background and the people are like 'yippee'. Just drivel. It only gets a few points for the scale of the production and some of the scenery. Oh and I know it's a period piece but you might as well be watching in black and white as there's hardly any colour in the entire piece. What a missed opportunity. There's more excitement and thrills in the first 5 mins of Jeff Wayne's musical than in the entire 3 part series. Do yourself a favour, go and get the live DVD of his show and watch that. You are wasting your time with this.
The Freddie Mercury Story: Who Wants to Live Forever (2016)
Fantastic
Brilliant performance by Blunt as a Freddie. Better than Bohemian Rhapsody. Shame then that they didn't put as much into the casting of the other band members. Roger Taylor being particularly bad, and that wig! Anyway, apart from Roger it's well directed and great insight from the interviewees. There could have been more supporting interviews but I guess they had to work with what they had. Very well constructed and the mix of reconstruction and real archive footage is perfect. Once again Blunt is magnificent. When you consider that by 1997 there was a 'virtual' cure for HIV/Aids it's even more of a tragedy that We lost Freddie. Given a few more years and the new breakthrough in drugs literally would reverse the onslaught of this terrible disease. Thank God that now it is not the death sentence that ravaged to 80s and 90s.
There Will Be Blood (2007)
2 3/4 HOURS YOU WILL WANT BACK
First off this isn't a one star film, it's more like a 4 but I had to do something to redress the overacted stars and points this film has unbelievably rated. I don't think I've ever seen a clearer case of emperors clothes in a film. I came here to see it after hearing Richard from Pointless didn't like it and he realised his opinion went way against popular opinion. I regard Richard as a smart guy so wanted to see it. Well believe the negative reviews here. This is no Unforgiven. It's slow. Over the top and rewards in very little increments that do not justify its vast running time. It is not brilliantly shot. It's not fantastically directed. It's not amazingly edited. And it's not brilliantly written. Shawshank Redemption is a masterpiece. Green Mile is wonderful. Goodfellas is incredible. Taxi Driver is phenomenal. Schindler's
It's is awesome. Hell, even Saving Private Ryan knocks this into a cocked hat... but then again so does Gremlins! So do yourself a favour, don't believe the idiots here saying it's the best film ever made. They are just deluded. Watch it if you must but don't say I didn't warn you. Most of you will want your time back.
Black Water (2018)
JCVD Has Just Become A Dirty Old Man
So, the first 10 mins had me wondering... JCVD looks old... I mean worse than old, just check out his hair/wig whatever in the start. He's like 65 years old looking and not like a good looking movie star old but like an old man in a wig old. But we are meant to believe that in the first 10 minutes some foxy girl in her 20s is meant to find him attractive enough to snog the face of his wrinkly mug and sleep with him. I was thinking.... what has happened to JCVD, has he started to use his movie star status to get off with women half his age. Then I thought maybe I'm being too hard, then I went to the other reviews and saw I wasn't the only one thinking exactly the same thing. I mean.. it's just BS. No way would a girl like that look at this old wreck. It's like watching your grandad snogging your 20 year old girlfriend. So you have to conclude he's asked for this in the script. His little perk. And once you realise that you can't really watch the rest of the film. They could have cast any realisting hot woman in her 40 s or 50s for her part, but they didn't. Why? Shame on the actress for agreeing to it do it. Shame on the director for shooting it and shame on JCVD for abusing his status to cast her to do it. I've been a life long fan but with shallow movies like this no more.
Annihilation (2018)
I don't know where the money went and neither will you
This cost $40 million and it only made back $32m. You can see why. The story is weak as Hell, with nothing really happening for the first 90 minutes. There are a couple of jump points but that's it. The cast are just un engaging and the directing very basic. I was watching thinking it could have been a decent female Deliverance or Southern Comfort and how much better that would have been. But no, this all female vehicle has nothing to offer in terms of pacing, drama, action or decent story. I'm not one of those to arbitrately give 1 star to make a point, maybe someone will get something from it. Your expectations must be very low and your taste in films very basic to do so though. For the rest of you you will be wishing you could have your time back. I got nothing from this at all. 40 million. I could have done it for 1.
Revenge (2017)
LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT THE DOOR
Ok, this eminently watchable movie really really really annoyed me. Not because it's not good but because there are sooooooo many unbelievable parts in it that if the director and writer had just tweaked (and this could have sooooooo easily been done with no weakening of the story) this could have been a classic. Let's just say there are so many unbelievable events and consequences in this movie from the very first 'jump' to the end that the makers really missed their chance to make a classic. I have to say though, all those people who gave it one star are bloody idiots! So sick of stupid people saying things like 'worst film ever' 1 star. You are terminal bozzos and wouldnt know a good film if it sat on your face! But to the director.... Next time you make a film give me a call. I will sort out all your plot holes in one day and you will be laughing all the way to the Oscars. Just don't ask me to clean up that gorgeous house lol.
Get Carter (1971)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
Anyone who rates this film under 7 stars has no business adding reviews to a film site. If you don't 'get it' or even worse the idiot who left 1 star and admired he'd turned it off after 35 mins, then you really are a damn tool. Made in a time before there was cut every 2seconds and when people actually wrote stories and scripts that have to unfold without explaining everything and spelling it out. If you don't appreciate this film for its time and today for its outstanding achievement in film history then there's no helping you... to the guy who turned it off... your loss. Please don't leave another I'll informed ignorant review.
Chernobyl (2019)
WHY ALL THE FUSS?!
There's something very fishy going on here. I've only watched 1 episode but already I can see that the characters aren't great, the acting is average, the scrptings nothing special and the cinematography not mind blowing. But the BIGGEST thing is... No WAY is this better than Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Wire, The Sopranos or any other of the hundreds of other amazing shows. maybe it picks up in EPs 2+3 but I wouldn't put this above 100 other shows. Seriously. And I know my stuff. What is going on with all these 10 reviews!?!? Something stinks here IMDab.
Bonding (2018)
Shades of Gay
A pure cash in trying to attract all those people who have such depressingly dull lives that they rushed out and bought into 50 shades of grey. The characters, especially the clients, are so far removed from real life it's a joke. Trust me. No one in the fetish scene is anything like these pathetic dweebs. Ok, so it's not realistic. Let's get past that. The main characters... Are they likeable? Hmmm. I can't say that I care for or about any of them very much. Did it make me laugh? In truth it was just all a bit lame. So in conclusion like most of these cash in type shows its not realistic or fruity enough to please fetishists and it's not acted or made well enough to stand up as a good watch. It's just.... Mehhhh! Like another reviewer said. The best thing about this clichéd, done to death, nonsense is it's short so you aren't wasting hours of your time getting into it to discover that you couldn't care less about it.
The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2018)
Green Mile It Is Not
The title and poster are completely missleading, but people who give this 1 star and say 'i just don't get it' and 'its terrible' etc are just plain thick. Really. If you don't get it and have to be told what's in the box you really have to have a word with yourself and go back in time to work on your social development. This film is slow and methodical. The Hitler and Bigfoot elements are just click bait. It's just a story about a man who had an interesting life, was unlucky in love and his choices and ends up alone. It's there to make you think. And I for one will be making g some better choices in my life after watching it. At its heart it's saying family, friends and companionship/love are the most important things we can take from life. Turn away from them and you will regret it. And if you REALLY have to be told what's in the box... It's of course the wedding ring which he never managed to give to the love of his life before he chose to go away to war and when he came back found out that she was dead. Honestly, some people who write some of these 'reviews' I don't know how they have enough intelligence to even switch on a TV. It's an above average film with something to say. If you don't understand what that something is... Probably The Avengers is taxing enough for you already.