D-Sligar Reviews

Monsterland (2020)

Starts out okay, but fairly lame attempt at horror

[2/10 · 21 February 2021]

Don't believe the byline of "supernatural monsters" of all types in this series, it's more of a psychological approach to horror. Some of the episodes are decent, but not really what I consider scary or horrifying, more simply just drug out for suspense. It's better than Two Sentence Horror Stories, but not by much.

Borish stories with some good parts, but not enough for me to commit to any more. Watch entire first season, but that was enough of a waste to not trust them for another season...

The Walking Dead: World Beyond (2020–2021)

If Disney+ made TWD

[2/10 · 14 February 2021]

Where to begin... it's like they took everything that made TWD interesting, removed it and replaced the good actors with a bunch of after-school special kids to play the main roles. What you get is a show with everything interesting removed, lackluster zombie scenes and a series you'll soon forget.

Limitless: Stop Me Before I Hug Again (2016) Season 1, Episode 13

Absolute WORSE Limitless episode to date

[1/10 · 22 January 2016]

What the heck were we watching?! It's like the show was written by a kid (which may have been the point, but it made the show suck bad). If this is any indication that the show writers have ran out of ideas, then I may need to rethink how much I like this show.

Let's replace every reference of bad things that occurred during the show with dumb non-related crap and call it a wrap. I could see the writers occasionally having the main character have flashbacks like he did, but to subject the viewer to such inane garbage throughout the entire episode really ruined it for me, regardless of how the rest of the show came together.

Dumb, dumb, dumb...

Unfriended (2014)

Terrible Movie!

[2/10 · 18 April 2015]

First and foremost, ignore all the reviews stating how wonderful this movie is and focus on the real reviews by people like you and me who are not affiliated with the film or its production.

The movie is terrible, it's like sitting around watching people text and chat over the Internet and that is it. There is no real action or movie elements, just Skype and IM on Macs (Apple commercial anyone?). This movie was so bad that we watched 25% of the people in it leave after the first 25-30 minutes, then another 25% left between then and the end of the film(?). Ridiculous film, good premise but poor execution and lack of any true film elements relegates this to the bargain bin before it even hits the store shelf. Save your money and see pretty much any other movie that's at the theater other than this.

Special Forces (2011)

Decent action movie that loses itself halfway through

[4/10 · 25 January 2012]

Okay, overall this was a pretty decent action film and all looked well up to half-way through the film. It was at this point the writer MUST have forgotten he had elite men in the special forces as the main characters. Why do I say this?

*** SPOILERS *** How is it that almost the entire team gets wiped out by the end and the waifish reporter is the only one that initially makes it out? The film will boggle your senses as you see the "elite" making some major boneheaded decisions that end up in them getting seriously injured or killed. Secondly, how is it that out of the entire team NONE of them carried any type of mass-injury inflicting devices; i.e., grenades and claymores (okay, they had at least one... but JUST one)??? You can clearly see the grenade launchers attached to their weapons, but not once do you see them use it.

Finally, the thing that really kills the movie is the entire lack of credibility given the shear numbers of "taliban-types" involved in the movie. You'd think they were like cockroaches hiding under every stone, nook and cranny... not to mention they never seem to die. When they initially go in to rescue the reporter, the team killed practically ALL of the taliban in the small hideout, then the leader shows up with maybe 10-12 more. The team ends up dropping at least half that number but the taliban keep increasing in numbers as if they're spawning in a freakin video game!!!

Then, when the choppers come in for extraction, do they have ANY type of air support at all? Nope, and a easily shoulder-launched rocket takes one out before they're even in the zone. Does the commander; er, admiral, send in another, better prepared extraction package? Nope, pretty much just leaves them s.o.l. Total b.s. and the lack of skill shown by the special forces team made it even worse. Not to mention the cost of lives just to save one reporter from a tenacious antagonist that proceeds with one-track terminator-like intent... not even worth it!

*** END SPOILERS ***

I kept wanting to just shut off the film after seeing all this b.s. just keep popping up, yet forced myself to finish the movie just to see if things ever got better. Nope, never did... suck waste of time. The film shots were nice, but there was hardly any dialogue total lack of character development. Watch only if there's nothing else on and you need an action movie fix (though, suspend rational thought when you do so). Not terrible, but not good either.

Crushed (2009)

Decent thriller/horror flick though lacking in areas

[5/10 · 30 January 2010]

This movie wasn't too bad for a low-budget thriller/horror movie. There were buckets of blood/gore, tons of maiming and a lot of sick sadistic acts perpetrated by the main psychotic freak. What really killed the movie the most for me, though, is how much of a weak pathetic loser the guy is portrayed as. He has many opportunities to take the chick out in the movie, but since he's such a pathetic wuss you'll find yourself yelling at him to grow a pair and do something besides being a tool. They should have picked an actor more congruent to the role, the actor here is a pretty decent size guy and yet he can't take out a little 115 lb psychotic chick when he has the chance (and he has many!). GROW A SET OF TESTICLES MAN!

Anyway, as I said there is a ton of gore, the story is quite intense and for the most part the actors do a good job; the problem for me is the absurdity of the guys situation and how he handles it... or in this case, fails to handle it.

Would I recommend it? Yes, it's a good ride and has decent shock value. The story is decent enough to keep you there, if only to see what she'll do/get away with next. Another thing I'd like to know is how when she's cutting people up she only gets blood on her face and nowhere else...

Angel of Death (I) (2009)

Terrible acting & just plain bad script

[2/10 · 28 July 2009]

Ugh. This movie was pretty bad, but if you like B or grind-house-style movies then it might fit your taste. I don't mind the occasional B-flick, but grind-house/70's-era cheap pulp don't satisfy. The storyline of this movie was terrible and the acting was straight-up high school special! The way Eve carries out her hits is laughable and the fight choreography is wooden and contrived. Then there's the knife-scene... come on, really are you friggin kidding me?!?! Terrible and boring movie.

Save yourself the time, get a different movie from the bargain-bin this will be in and save yourself the time/$5. Also, ignore the 10-star ratings, they must have some kind of invested interest in the film or are stuck back in the cheap cinematography days. Note to self... If all of Ed Brubaker's films are this bad, I need to remember to pass on any films bearing his name.

Knights of Bloodsteel: Episode #1.1 (2009) Season 1, Episode 1

Ughh, terrible on most accounts.

[2/10 · 31 March 2009]

When I first heard of this mini-series, I thought it sounded pretty cool and having Christopher Lloyd was a potential bonus... wrong! It was just plain bad and waaayyyy too long at almost 3 hours, sans commercials. I endured through it to the finish but it was tough, the acting was pretty bad and the special effects were a bit below-par for a SciFi channel original (not sure if it was, but it smelled like their work).

The story was so-so but everybody seemed to have pointy teeth (what's up with that?! Did they get a special on vampire fangs or raid the Buffy set?) I felt like I was watching Xena, Hercules, or Flash Gordon (the new one that sucked so bad I couldn't even bear to watch it). I don't really like these kind of chinsy films with lousy acting and back-yard special effects, so to me it wasn't fun.

If you do like those TV series, then this one might be right up your alley, but I didn't think it was very good at all. You've been warned...

Shôrin shôjo (2008)

Cross between Shaolin Soccer, Enter the Dragon and The Last Dragon

[6/10 · 29 March 2009]

Overall this was a pretty good movie, though Japanese actors tend to over-act their parts too much making me want to punch the character Minmin on many occasions!

The title of my review pretty much sums up what this movie is about and how I took it. There was some fun action scenes that really keep you involved, but they are more over-the-top than the much better movie "Shaolin Soccer." A lot isn't explained in this film; i.e., they'll show you something, leave it alone for a long time (sometimes never addressing what it was all about) or just show you some arbitrary scene just to fill time.

I liked the film and think that anyone who wants to see a fun film in the similar vein of Shaolin Soccer or The Last Dragon should check it out. Don't expect anything too serious and try to ignore the cheesy acting you get from some characters. Oh yeah, a more apt name would have been "Shaolin Lacrosse" instead of Shaolin Girl, because that's pretty much what it is, like mentioned in the trivia facts on this site.

The Falling (II) (2006)

Could have been a good film...

[3/10 · 16 November 2008]

Hmm, where to begin... I'll start with the good, it had a good storyline and some of the shots were nice. That's about it.

On to the bad... ugh, this was a tough pill to swallow. Let's see, the acting was by far the worse I've seen in any film to date. Nine times out of ten the dialog comes off as if it's being read straight from the script without any tonality or acting whatsoever. None of the people in the movie could act, period. It was terrible, but I forced myself to watch it to the end. Special effects... there really weren't any short of cheap colored contacts and a little fake blood. It was kind of funny watching the "angels" sit there unblinking with their green contacts. Haha! I got a good laugh at the main angel and his attempt at seriousness.

The story was good, but there were a ton of preaching undertones to it. I could almost imagine watching this film with my church youth group way back when.

All in all, decent storyline hampered by people that hadn't the first clue about acting and zero SFX. Would I recommend it? Probably not, there are too many other good films to see instead of wasting your time with bad films. The caliber of this film was in line with what you see with fan-made films; i.e., interesting story but terrible acting.

Spiral (I) (2007)

Too drawn out, ruined what could have been a good movie

[3/10 · 14 September 2008]

OK, we got JP from Grandma's Boy and Chuck from, well Chuck. I thought this movie would be quite good based on the reviews, and it did start out pretty high on my movie scale, but about halfway through it was just dragging out for so long I kept losing interest. I actually got so bored, probably because you can see right away what's going to happen in the end; the story is actually quite thread-bare, I skipped over 15 minutes and didn't miss a thing! This film should have been a short work, maybe around 45 minutes to an hour max. It starts out good and finishes good, too bad the filling is bland, boring, dull, and lacks everything but time. Some people say they like it for the music; I don't care for jazz and I don't go see movies for their score, I go for the story and when that's drawn out... well, ratings drop in my book.

Bottom Line: Good open, great close, boring filler. Story was cool, but if you don't know what's going to happen a quarter of the way through, you haven't seen too many thrillers.

Slipstream (2007)

Strange, yet no real redeeming qualities; i.e., a big dud

[1/10 · 11 June 2008]

I actually had quite high hopes going into this movie, so I took what was given with a grain of salt and hoped for the best. About 1/3 of the way through the film I simply had to give up, quite simply the movie is a mish-mash of stuff happening for no apparent reason and it's all disconnected. I love movies that make you think, but this movie was just a bunch of ideas thrown together and never really connected.

Don't think it's David Lynch-esquire as some would have you believe, it is nowhere near that realm other than some trippy visuals. Saying it's artsy to disguise the fact there's no apparent plot or story is just a manner or justifying why you wasted the 1.5 hours in the film. The acting was good, but that cannot save lack of story. I do agree with the one comment posted previously... "it's like being in some other person's head... while they're on drugs," in other words nothing makes sense.

The Signal (2007)

An OK horror flick drawn out a little long

[5/10 · 19 May 2008]

I didn't think this movie was a great as many of the reviewers stated, it was good but not the best. For one it was quite drawn out and while there was action throughout the pacing was off enough that I lost interest halfway though. It actually starts out kinda cheesy with an old 70's flick; I was thinking if this was the actual movie I was gonna shut it off in a few minutes. Later it jumped right into the action but never went beyond a small circle of people.

An OK flick, but I wouldn't rate it as an exceedingly good horror flick, more of a senseless violence without reason. Oh yeah, why didn't they stop by a Wal-Mart and pick up a few shotguns to keep the crazies away?!

Southland Tales (2006)

Pretty Cool the Second Time Through

[6/10 · 20 April 2008]

Whew, what a ride! The first time I watched this I had no clue what the heck was going on. Some of it made sense, but a lot of it didn't... I actually thought it sucked pretty bad because it was so long and seemingly disconnected. I actually zoned out and missed a little toward the end, talk about really throwing me off. Well anyway, I watched the latter-half again and this time all the pieces fell into place nicely. Forget all the people saying that it's a bunch of stories that aren't connected; they all do fit together, you just need to know where they go.

One thing I was amazed with was the sheer number of A-list actors in this film. Phenomenal! The music was also pretty darn good and fit the flick perfectly. The story was an interesting premise, though you don't have to use your brain, if you do it will make so much more sense and everything fits together quite well.

A few things I didn't like about the film... the massive amount of advertising present; this thing was like a frickin marketing vehicle for many things (Budweiser for one!), and the political statements were just plain silly. Don't believe all the FUD, do your own research and make up your own mind. Actors/Actresses are no more knowledgeable than you, for the most part you're probably smarter, so don't buy in to all their biases. Secondly, Justin can't act; I don't care how many films he buys himself into, his abilities are B-grade at best. Now his singing on the other hand...

Bottom Line: Cool flick, not for everyone (my wife wouldn't like it at all), and it will make way more sense the second time through. Check it out!

Magus (2008)

Cool special effects doesn't make a movie good

[3/10 · 25 March 2008]

This movie was fairly decent and had a bit of potential; however, several things kept it from being great. The story was a bit bare, though it had enough to drive it to the end. The FX were pretty cool at times, but quite juvenile in other (the ending sequence was as cheesy as it gets and reminded me of crappy FX you see in 70's films). Worst of all was the acting, or lack thereof. It sounded like all, I repeat, ALL of the actors were reading straight from the script, you know, like reading a book out loud without and acting even being attempted. This might as well have been a read session instead of the final film.

I forced myself through it just to see what they threw at us. It was cool at times, but quite corny/cheesy/dumb in others. It's not on par with the Warlock series, but good to kill a few hours on the weekend or late at night. There was a gratuitous full-frontal scene in it, if that will help get you through the film (nice bod!).

All-in-all, not too bad but shallow story, poor acting, err.. reading, and blah FX in some places kept this film from getting a better grade. It was better than most straight-to-video films I've seen.

Destination Truth (2007–2012)

Waste of Time

[3/10 · 13 March 2008]

Wow, this guy is just plain bumbling and seems to scare himself (and his crew) more than anything else. It's actually kind of funny watching him work himself up when they're out on location trying to debunk some local legend or whatever they're attempting to do. Apparently, he is also quite terrified of thunderstorms, too funny, hasn't he ever heard of a lightning rod? Hire someone who isn't afraid f mundane things when you want someone investigating something that might be delving deeper into the unknown.

I agree with the other guy who rated this show quite low. There is absolutely no preparation before they go places or launch "investigations," they film for a few hours and call it quits, they do seem to patronize the locals, and worst of all they never arrive at any type of conclusion or come up with any credible evidence. Any amateur given the paltry equipment they use in this series could come up with a much better show or at least some form of results. The SciFi Channel needs to hire someone who is less of a scaredy-cat and more of a go-getter.

The show is worth it if you want to watch a group of people jumping at their own shadows, but other than that there is no other redeeming qualities.

Vampyres (2007)

Cool documentary/insight into a fringe culture

[8/10 · 1 March 2008]

Regardless of what some of the more culturally-challenged who posted disparaging reviews about this film, it was actually quite interesting and insightful. These reviewers probably cannot see past their own backyards, yet alone the broader sense of a world full of diverse people. How can you judge people for something you cannot understand, even after having it just explained to you? This film will drop you into many different groups and show you what they believe and how they live, it doesn't matter what you believe, they're simply showing you what they believe. The camera was definitely documentary style and there were quite a few shots of strangeness that will leave you with either a laugh or strange thought. All in all, this was a cool film with some interesting fashions and styles. The only question I really had in the end was "What do these people do for a living?" They have to be doing something to afford their lifestyle, but outside of the tattoo artist, what else? Check it out and avoid the disparaging comments as they were probably written by the same type of individual they talking trash about.

Days of Darkness (2007)

Goofy comedic zombie flick, and it didn't try to be anything more

[4/10 · 20 February 2008]

OK, I've read quite a few comments saying this was the worst film they've ever seen... obviously you haven't seen too many films if this one is at the bottom, try Gothic Vampires or others in the same league, then you'll see really bad.

This movie wasn't supposed to be scary or too serious, it was meant to be a spoof with some dumb ideas backing it it to make the audience laugh. Didn't the shirt the big black guy put on in the middle of the film give that away... not to mention the craziness at the end. It wasn't the worst, but was definitely down there with the rest of the B-genre films. If I had friends who wanted a non-serious, lets make fun of it while drinking or having a good time, I'd mention this just for the off-beat crap you see in it.

Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight (2008 Video)

$20 million for this?! Drop the CGI & up the anime talent next time!

[8/10 · 18 February 2008]

Yeah, I know I gave it an 8, but a movie isn't solely based upon it's looks. This film followed the story fairly well and the voice talent was pretty good too. The actual animation itself was, as reported many times, quite sub-par for the alloted budget, perhaps it all was used to pay the voice talent? Next time fore-go the high-dollar names and kick more to the design team. Definitely drop the crapola CGI, I saw better in some of the original CGI circa 1993! If you like Dragonlance or D&D, you can get over the poor visual implementation because it fleshed out the story well. Sheesh, I thought I was watching the original D&D cartoon from the 80's and was waiting for the DM to pop his old bald-head in to help the group!

Fallen Angels (2006)

Disjointed storyline leaves wondering why you bothered

[2/10 · 11 February 2008]

I tried, I really did, but this movie couldn't hold together long enough to keep even the most rabid horror buff in their seat. The movie starts off with a crazy scene and then jumps to some other point in the film; one of the many disjoints that loses you and leaves you wondering why. It's like this fill is some absurd puzzle the audience has to try and put together themselves, it might have made more sense if I put the DVD player on shuffle and watched it that way.

Acting was fairly decent, but at times really boring. The action scenes were over-done, yet quite gory, so you might get some recompense for the crappy plot. In the end you'll simply ask yourself why you even bothered sticking with it, as that will be an hour and a half of your life you'll never get back. Avoid unless you want to donate the money to the production of another crappy flick like this one.

Experiment in Torture (2007 Video)

Had something going for it and then that stopped

[3/10 · 10 February 2008]

This movie started out OK, at least for a B-movie, then they lost the only good thing about it... a little skin here and there. Come on, they're strippers, they could have at least kept them showing every now and then to keep us occupied when the story got really slow.

But then there's the story, as one person put it "A muddled mess." Things were all over the place with some things happening for no apparent reason. And what was up with that one stripper who looked like a guy? I could swear I kept seeing hints of a mustache. But I guess most of the chicks were fairly decent, provided they didn't get hit with bad camera angles.

Avoid this movie, it's really not worth it even for a low-budget torture-porn flick. Check the user ratings, they don't lie.

Inbred Redneck Alien Abduction (2004 Video)

Horrible home movie trying to be passed off as something viewable

[1/10 · 1 December 2007]

Ughh! I thought I'd give this movie a chance based upon the reviews I had read and I also wanted to give something else a try. OMG, this movie sucked so bad I couldn't bear it. Saying that it was better than Gigli (yet another unbearable flick) was a stretch at best. I don't even know where to begin with the utter crappiness of this movie...

Video: Home movies have been done much better Costumes/Props: Seen better at the local Halloween Haunted House. You can actually see the boom-mic in many scenes because the video guy is too close to the actors. Acting: Lacking in all aspects, pretty much kludged together from unsuspecting actors/actresses trying to make a break (too bad it probably crippled your career forever) Sound: It sounded like they simply used the built-in mic on the cheapo camera used to shoot the flick Story: Quite possibly the dumbest concept yet

This movie wasn't even fun to watch, even if you're drunk off your arse. The jokes aren't funny and are poorly executed... ughh, I could go on but I won't. Avoid this at all costs and spend your time with something more fun, like watching the clouds float by while standing in an ant hill; it's more fun and will hold your attention much longer.

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Could have been good, but too long and drawn out

[4/10 · 1 December 2007]

I really wanted to like this movie, and when I saw Lindsey was going to play a stripper I thought all the better. Too bad she plays a simple tease and never reveals anything (hey, I gotta get the=at out there for all the hopeful adolescents).

Anyway, the premise was good but was really plagued by poor pacing and was drawn out way too long. The movie was a bit dark and brooding throughout; if it added to the film this would have been good, but it didn't do nothing but make you want them to hurry up. The film lasted about 40 minutes too long and could have ended that much sooner without ruining anything in the script. Acting was good, but it seemed overshadowed by too much dreariness and lost a lot of motivation due to this.

All in all, a good story that was ruined due to poor planning and slow pacing. Speed it up a little and you'll keep the audience interested, stick with this super-slow build-up and you lose our attention.

Rapturious (2007)

More like cRapturious... boring, dull, and lifeless

[1/10 · 30 November 2007]

Let's see where to begin... bad acting; I'm not sure if I'd even call it that, as it more along the lines of a no-effort script read. The actors didn't even seem to be into their parts and seemed quite lifeless and listless. Sure there was a scene or two with nudity, but that couldn't save this movie from it's lifeless characters.

To call the main character a rapper is an insult to the people who actually do. The lyrics had no rhythm or flow and seemed more along the lines of senseless rants.

Budget? Did this movie even have a budget? It seemed like they used less money than I've seen in a home-shot YouTube video. Bad lighting, props, poor sound post production. Bad special effects, if you want to go so far as to call them that. Story could have been good if the people actually seemed interested in making it so, but there was no life to this flick; I don't care who directed it.

I've seen some really bad flicks in the past year and this one is definitely at the very bottom. Don't waste your time or you'll be wishing you listened to this unbiased review. Check the ratings, you'll see the 1's are rapidly outpacing the fluffed 10's with hardly anything in between. Wish I would have looked a little closer before wasting my time. What a suck-fest!

The Man from Earth (2007)

Thought provoking and exceptional film

[10/10 · 25 November 2007]

Wow. I didn't know too much about the film when I started it, just the simple premise was all. After seeing the film, I'd liken it a bit to the "What the bleep do we know" films, as it covers similar ground, albeit from a different perspective. The actors did a pretty good job and the music set the tone quite well. Not sure where the previous commenter got the millions of dollars to produce figure, as it was all shot in a single location, or room for the matter, and there wasn't anything that would have cost near that figure within the film.

Anyway, if you want a thought provoking film that you can enjoy, see again at a later date and still enjoy it, check it out. You won't be disappointed. While I wouldn't recommend seeing it in a theater, this film is best seen on DVD so you can watch it again and give it further thought. Great story put to film!