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Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023)
A Big Godzilla Not
I never miss Godzilla or KONG movies and looked forward to Monarch. I've watched 8 episodes and poor old Godzilla us hiding somewhere in the world tracked by a soapy bunch of Japanese, Black, Korean and White actors who simply can't act.
Godzilla or other monsters seldom appear and when they do, it's for a couple of minutes. What a rip off. Even the addition of Kurt Russel doesn't help a thing. He looks lost and confused in this mess,
If you like big monster movies, this series should be avoided at all costs. Save your time.
Maybe we don't get to see Godzilla in the series because the big guy is too darn expensive to show us. So Sad.
The Constant Gardener (2005)
Cinematography Disaster... You've been warned!
Constant Gardener--- grade 4 stars.
We saw this in 2005 when it had its first run. It's a mess.
The handheld camerawork will make you carsick. The camera was jerking around even during ordinary conversation. Arghhhh. Unwatchable! Did the director or editors even look at this movie?
The back and forth retro story of their relationship drives you nuts. This relationship was like THE WAY WE WERE wIth Streisand and Redford. It would never work. A diplomat and a civil rights protester. Let's be real.
Rachel Weiss got the Academy Award for best supporting actress. She's a good actress, but her character was not very likeable. Fiennes was so-so.
Don't watch this movie... the photography alone is a disaster.
Echo 3 (2022)
ARGHHH ... a disappointing finale
Echo 3 has a plot of intrigue and action that I usually like very much, but this one takes you through 9 episodes of gut wrenching torture and gunfights only to leave you with a huge "MEH" at the end of Episode 10.
Episode 10 is anti-climatic and a sad disappointment to an otherwise exciting series.
The perplexities of South American politics - Columbia and Venezuela - are explored here. But the viewer is always questioning "just who are the bad guys"? On the positive side, the series captures the unfortunate effects that the USA has had upon these countries for decades.
But so what?
The bottom line here is that if you like sad conclusions, this is your series. The conclusion will leave you angry.
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
Huh? What Hit Me?
The only thing laudable about this movie is the 50's soundtrack.
The rest of it is STEPFORD WIVES meets PIG FARM meets LOGAN'S RUN.
This is unashamedly a women's liberation flick written, directed, and produced by women. It's unfortunate they used this vehicle to dramatize male dominance and control.
You'll need the Wal-Mart extra large Tylenol to get you to the end, which is very unsatisfying and confusing.
It goes absolutely nowhere without anything to justify its two hours. It ain't sexy, it's got no real action, and the actors pretty much snooze through their lines.
There's some beautiful classic cars in this, but you can see the same thing at your local mall on the weekends when the local car clubs strut their stuff.
Skip this one and watch some paint dry, which would be more exciting.
Ambulance (2022)
Arghhh..... hand held cameras GALORE
AMBULANCE by Michael Bay is like watching your favorite uncle's film of his latest trip through the Ozarks.
It's all due to hand held cameras on somebody's shoulder.
You'll get car sick just watching it.... the characters are bobbing up and down like an arcade game. It's disgusting and so unnecessary.
This is a cheap way to film an action movie....vibrate the camera so nobody can see your flaws in the action. Shame on you, Michael Bay.
You can't watch this movie without a good antacid nearby to calm your tummy.
The real tragedy is that the talents some very good actors are totally wasted.
Tin Star (2017)
Second Season - What happened?
The first season is great. They should have stopped right there.
The second season is a mess. Did they hire different writers, different directors, what? For example, there is one whole episode devoted to the tragic death of a young girl - funeral, autopsy, crying, gnashing of teeth - totally patronizing our sympathy and boring us to tears. It was like they created an extra episode out of nothing. So unnecessary.
Many of the scenes are totally over played with long (and boring) soulful looks from the character. My mind kept shouting "Move On, Move on". Bad direction here.
Must importantly the movie should have been ruthlessly edited, but it wasn't. What a waste.
Meek's Cutoff (2010)
Producer: "Let's Show Tedium By Filming Tedious Scenes"
If you want to experience the endless monotony of walking across the prairie with covered wagons, with no snake bites, Indian attacks, or broken bones that usually accompany such an adventure, this movie us for you. It's so deep and mind-numbing that you'll look out your window and watch the grass grow for some excitement. Skip this snd save 90 minutes of your life. These very good actors were badly misused here.
Invasion (2021)
Hey Joe, Let's Do a Sci-Fi Soap Opera with No CG
I confess that I've only seen one episode and I'm outa here.
I'm sorry but if you can't hook me with 60 minutes of your film, you don't deserve the rest my time over 9 more episodes.
It is obvious that Apple told these producers "we're short on funds here so keep the exciting space stuff to a minimum. Place the story in a cornfield with scary lighting and hope for the the best."
Rather than suffer through this series, I should watch "All My Children" and pretend it's an alien movie. It would be more satisfying.
And Sam Neill as an Oklahoma Sheriff? Forget it. Even this distinguished actor doesn't have the grits to pull it off. But you can tell he's trying. Poor Sam needs to find some more dinosaurs. I miss him.
Tenet (2020)
Excessive Pretentious Confusing Mess.
If you think Inception was confusing, be sure and watch (and try to endure) this 2 1/2 hour Nolan disaster.
After Inception, Nolan must have thought: "Let's make an action film where all the characters, the explosions, the car chases, EVERYTHING, goes backward.. We don't need CG, all we need to do is run our scenes backward".
This was a very cheap and very ineffective technique to film an action movie. Shame on you Christopher Nolan. Inception this is NOT.
If that weren't bad enough, the plot is about as clear as a Mississippi swamp.
Those fans that are saying "watch it 2-3 times then you'll get it" need professional help. No movie - repeat no movie - should require multiple views to enjoy its content.
Maybe Nolan thinks multiple views will generate even more income for this sad movie. Not a chance, Chris. Count me out. The thought of even a second viewing is unbearable. Go back to your drawing board.
Six Minutes to Midnight (2020)
Exciting Plot to Foil the Nazi's
Watch this. Eddie Issard wrote, produced, and leads a 5-star group of actors in a thrilling story of Nazi intrigue. Broadbent and Dench only add to the luster of this. You'll nit be disappointed. Lots of twists and turns. Great scenic finale too.
Allagash (2020)
Tom Wake Up
I'm a fan of Tom Berenger so watched the whole 85 minutes of this movie. There is little dialogue and the 5 or 6 characters (Tom included) earn their money by simply walking around in the snow and shooting at each other. Tom tries very hard to be a tired and sickly old timer, Jim Reed, but it is painful to watch this excellent actor in such a crappy role. Clint could have done this better. He's older than Tom. This movie could have been edited to 60 minutes tops. It's terribly tedious and slow.
Underwater (2020)
Undersea Fiasco
This Sci-Fi flick was filmed in the dark in someone's bathroom. It's not scary. It's not interesting. It!s.... well nothing really. I watched this because I thought Kristin Stewart only made worthy movies. I was wrong, and Kristin's performance fell flat. You would find counting cloud formations more intriguing than this movie. It's a total waste of your time. The movie reminded me if the 50's movies that delayed showing you the monster until the last 5 minutes. By that time you were usually asleep.
Richard Jewell (2019)
Mesmerizing. Inciteful. Shocking.
The acting in Clint's latest effort is astounding.
He has gathered the best actors he could find (Bates, Rockwell, Hamm) and slam-dunked his movie with a tour d'force by Hauser, a relatively unknown fellow who channels poor Richard Jewell.
This drama is a sobering reminder that government power (like the media) can destroy.
What I found to be the greatest takeaway was this- that "profiling" suspects can be terribly misleading and destructive, a punch in the gut.
Rockwell is the friend and advocate who tears down the government facade. Bates has never been better as the faithful mom. And Hamm is -- well, Don Draper has joined the FBI!
See this movie-you win't take your eyes off the screen.
Like I said in the header: MESMERIZING! I would give this movie 11 stars but alas they only gave me 10.
Eastwood has a home run hit here, but I doubt folks will pay the big bucks to see this without a lot of CG or a light saber somewhere. Clint has beautifully honored a very decent Richard Jewell.
That Jewell managed to endure and rise above the shame is itself a tribute to this true American hero.
American Son (2019)
Wow, So Powerful, So Timely!
The plot and the acting will blow you away.here. This is a play-turned-movie and it will punch you in the guts! It is aimed at today's interracial conflicts between young black men and white cops. It covers both sides of the issue beautifully and sensitively. Washington is never better. A speech of frustration from a black cop towards the end of the story says it all. We get it. Plenty to think about after you've seen this. Watch it for sure.
Transpecos (2016)
Arghhh! Hand Held Cameras Ruin This!
We turned this movie off after 15 minutes. The director went nuts with jerky, jiggly, bumpy scenes from hand-held cameras - even when the characters are merely talking and conversing. This is ART and ENTERTAINMENT??!! Trust me. You'll get carsick watching this movie.
Don't watch this stuff and maybe Hollywood will get the message; HIRE PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS.
The Frozen Ground (2013)
Arghhh! Hand held cameras ruined this!
Nick and John are caught in a "true" story here-truly awful. The choppy photography wrought by amateurish filming make this very hard to watch. It 's like watching your parent's okd reel to reel 8 mm home movies. Skip this unless you wanna be car sick.
Blue Ruin (2013)
Tense suspenseful thriller... must see
I love revenge movies and this is one of the best. Nicely filmed, good acting, suspense throughout. Grab some popcorn and get going here!
Tarde para la ira (2016)
A sweet PAYBACK movie
This Spanish film won awards and deserved them. Thus thriller has it all. Watch it.
Frozen River (2008)
Watch This Great Movie
This movie has it all - plot, acting, photography, sound, music. Ignore the few negative reviews because this movie will move you emotionally- the struggles of a single mom to survive in a harsh environment. Melissa Leo, the mom, nails her role. The casting here was perfect; all the characters (including two kids) are very authentic. I love CGI movies but this movie has no special effects. Rather it is a heart warmer in an age of billion dollar super hero's. That says a lot. See this movie. You'll be glad you did.
Sicilian Ghost Story (2017)
Arghhhh. This movie is NUTSO! AWFUL!
Do you like kid napping, torture, and child abuse with your love story? Here you go. The producers think they're Ingmar Bergman, but they're NOT. Settle down here for confusion, frustration, boredom, and plain old angst as you try to watch this mess. If I want to see the Mafia misbehaving i'd Rather see 9 hours of the GODFATHER trilogy. Trust me and Skip this awful flick.
Shazam! (2019)
POSITIVE REVIEWS ARE A FRAUD ON YOU!
After 45minutes of sheer boredom, I walked out of this movie and saw Dumbo instead. As the honest reviewers have aptly noted, SHAZAM! is designed for younger children age 8-14. Older teenagers and adults will find this movie tedious, unimaginative, and hard to watch for more than 15 minutes. The reviewers who gave this a "10" are purposely fooling you; they likely were paid to do it. Don't fall for this amateurish mess. I've seen better CG on cable. It's not exciting, it's not funny, it's nothing!
First Man (2018)
Weird claustrophobic Camera Work
If you like closeups you'll love First Man. Even though this is a movie about man's conquest of SPACE for Pete's sake, the director (La La Land) focuses the camera largely on closeups of the actors. It's a low-budget device to spare what was really needed here -- COMPUTER GRAPHICS! Instead it's way too soapy, never fully revealing its stoic but courageous hero, Neil Armstrong. What a missed opportunity!
Mile 22 (2018)
There goes $35 million... what a waste
All of the low ratings here are spot on: Wahlberg's character is annoying and one-dimensional (yelling); the hand-held cameras will leave you carsick; and the complicated plot would make Shakespeare blush. They should have used the $35 million here for Dramamine tablets for the audience. This is a "spaghetti on the wall movie" with hopes that something would stick. It didn't. Director Berg should have vetted this with colleagues before subjecting us to this mess.
Mother! (2017)
SHAMEFUL WASTE
After wrapping this flick, Jennifer Lawrence has to be saying "what was I thinking?"
90% of this particular movie is fixed either on her face or the back of her head, all with a handheld camera. How fun is that? You'll end the movie carsick.
Lawrence has the unenviable task of looking perplexed, surprised, and disgusted at the constant arrival of unwanted guests in her remodeled Victorian. You'll feel like you're watching Chevy's CHRISTMAS VACATION without the humor.
MOTHER! is a frustrating and unceremonious examination of weird house guests, including Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer, who simply want a place to rest their head. Is that tedious? You bet.
Why does Lawrence's husband, Javier Bardem, entertain and house these guests against her wishes? Frankly, like Rhett Butler, we don't give a hoot.
The movie will find you taking deep breaths, not from shock or dismay, but sheer boredom or anger at the appalling insensitivity of Bardem to his wife Lawrence.
Perhaps if Bardem reprised his Oscar-winning role as serial killer Anton Chigurh, our 2 hours of this misery might be justified. Didn't happen.
For two hours I thought I was watching a new "hip" version of ROSEMARY'S BABY, but that didn't happen either.
Instead, there is no real closure to this movie and we find that Lawrence has been a simple chess piece in a loop of never-ending abuse. If you really LIKED this movie, you need therapy. It's really painful to watch.
Aronofsky, the Director, likes to throw spaghetti on the wall hoping that enough critics will see the Mona Lisa there somewhere. I suppose if you put 1000 monkeys in a room with 1000 typewriters they will eventually come up with GONE WITH THE WIND.
But this strategy, like Aronofsky's strategy, means that audiences will have to figure out just what he's pitching to us on his way to stardom. I don't want to take that train. It's a very bumpy trip.
My fellow critics have asked the same question: What exactly is the theme of MOTHER!? Perhaps it's a biblical allegory? Or perhaps it's a protest piece from the misogyny suffered by women? Or perhaps it's a statement about the failure of the world to address homelessness? Or the trials of remodeling your Victorian? Take your pick. It's a bunch of spaghetti on the wall.
Skip it and watch ROSEMARY'S BABY, a classic horror flick with a great director, Roman Polanski. It has a shocking finale but it least it has closure.
MOTHER! is so darn vague, it's plot so loose, that it would make a great dribble painting by Jackson Pollock. Don't subject yourself to this cinematic nonsense by Aronofsky.
If you paid good money to see this, ask for a refund. I gave it 2 stars because I liked the brief visuals of the Canadian countryside where this was filmed.
Jennifer, you need a new agent!
Phantom Thread (2017)
SKIP IT .... watch Scarlett instead.
Daniel-Day Lewis is a consummate actor capable of channeling and bringing just about any character, including Lincoln, to life for us.
PHANTOM THREAD is no exception. Here, he must play a self-absorbed fashion designer in Great Britain, a bachelor attracted to a much younger woman.
Lewis pulls it off beautifully, so much so that at the end of two hours of his whining, grumpiness, anger, and selfishness you will want to watch an old Marx Brothers movie.
The main character "Reynolds" in this movie is the male equivalent of Scarlett O'Hara - spoiled rotten, insensitive, ungrateful, moody, and downright obnoxious. This is why I can only watch GONE WITH THE WIND once every 10 years. Scarlett kills it for me.
Likewise, watching "Reynolds" for 2 hour's is like watching spoiled children misbehave. Except THEY'RE ADULTS!
Watch the 1939 Selznick movie instead. Even though it's 4 hours long, at least you'll get spectacle and a Clark Gable to counter the obnoxious Scarlett. In PHANTOM THREAD, you'll have no such alternative.
Other critics have praised the soulful silence and deep meaningful stares of the characters in this movie. A little bit of this technique goes a long way. In PHANTOM you'll think you're watching a yacht race, not a movie. It's exceedingly slow and difficult to endure.
PHANTOM eventually goes psycho here, with the young female character (in love with Reynolds) actually poisoning him with mushrooms for attention. This is called factitious disorder imposed on another, which refers to the abuse of another person in order to seek attention or sympathy for the abuser.
This was a totally unexpected (and frankly revolting) development that only strengthened my impression that PHANTOM was most definitely not a true love story. There's not a hint of true love, only sick love, in this movie.