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Starsky and Hutch: Huggy Can't Go Home (1979)
A welcome return to form
As the fourth season staggers towards its conclusion, David Soul steps forward to remind us what a tight and tough drama series this was, back in its early days. After a slew of uninspired and predictable nonsense such as 'Dandruff' and 'The Avenger'. The whole tone changes from the very first, as Huggy gives a lift to a hooker ex-girlfriend from his old neighbourhood and crosses paths with a couple of low-rent thugs who've just robbed an all-night poker game hosted by Huggy's former mentor (played by Richard Ward, the original Captain Dobey). Although the ending seems a little rushed, this is an excellent episode; it's just a pity it's the exception rather than the standard.
The Rockford Files: The Real Easy Red Dog (1975)
Backdoor pilot?
This episode definitely has the feel of a backdoor pilot for a show featuring private eye Tina Dusseau (Sefanie Powers). She has great chemistry with Garner, so it'skind of odd the character was never brought back at a later date, especially as Powers wasn't committed to any other series at the time (her next notable appearances are in a Buzz Aldrin television biopic and a cross-over episode connecting The Six Million Dollar Man to its spin-off show The Bionic Woman. In later seasons, The Rockford Files would feature a number of similar set-ups. The majority of which stalled on the launch pad.
Law of the Plainsman: Trojan Horse (1960)
They saved the worst until last
A truly dire send-off for Sam Buckhart. Having spent the previous twenty-nine episodes displaying the wisdom and dignity of his ancestry, Buckhart is forced to dress like a 'wooden Injun' as part of a ludicrous plot to infiltrate a criminal's camp. All the while accompanied by a bizarre and utterly incongruous 'beach party' soundtrack. It's almost as if the producers wanted to kill the show off.
Naked City: Bullets Cost Too Much (1961)
Great guest list
Naked City frequently featured young actors on the rise, but this episode offers appearances by Dick York, James Caan (who seems to be channeling Marlon Brando) and Bruce Dern. In a sad foretaste of future problems, York's character suffers a back injury in the finale.
The Rebel: The Earl of Durango (1960)
Backdoor pilot?
This final episode of the first season puts John Sutton and L. Q. Jones centre-stage with Nick Adams' Johnny Yuma, in a tale which has all the hallmarks of a backdoor pilot for the so-called Earl of Durango. We even get to meet their next client, played by the sultry Patricia Medina, but sadly this was their sole appearance.
Stoney Burke: The Journey (1963)
Better to have shot this horse
I have no idea what Leslie Stevens intended to achieve with this mess of of a final episode. Stoney lost his bid for the Gold Buckle in the previous instalment, yet we see him injured yet again, then giving up yet again; was this allegorical weirdness relocated from elsewhere in the running order, with the intention of revealing it all as a fever dream, only for fantasy to be cemented into fact? No wonder Jack Lord demanded more control when he was offered another series lead. As Hawaii Five-O's Steve McGarrett.
Stoney Burke: The Test (1963)
Yet another backdoor pilot?
By this late point in the series, the focus was being shifted far too often from its title character in order to set up unrelated tv shows (I counted three: 'Point of Entry', 'The Weapons Man' and 'Kincaid'). This has all the hallmarks of a fourth such pilot, based around James Coburn's passionate medic, except that Stoney is for once at the heart of the story.
Set during the lead-up to the National Finals, it also features Casey Tibbs snatching the Golden Buckle from an absent and incapacitated Stoney, rather a sour note for the penultimate episode.
Stoney Burke: The Weapons Man (1963)
Another backdoor pilot?
Like "Point of Entry", similarly written by series creator Leslie Stevens (who also directed this episode), "The Weapons Man" has all the markings of a backdoor pilot: Stoney becomes a secondary character in his own show to make room for J D Cannon as investigator Mark Vickers (Ves and Red are heavily marginalised, whilst Cody virtually vanishes completely).
Stoney Burke: Point of Entry (1963)
Backdoor pilot?
Although Jack Lord headlines as Stoney Burke, his character is very much sidelined in this episode, written by series creator Leslie Stevens. The chief protagonists are the Mexican police chief (Cesare Danova) and US border cop (William Smith), whose sparky conversations hint Stevens may well have been hoping for a spin-off show. Pity it never happened.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: The McGregor Affair (1964)
One of the worst episodes in the series
There have been many versions of the infamous Burke & Hare killings, on both television and the big screen, but this stands out as one of the most laughable. Not only does the plot play fast and loose with historical facts, the script is lamentable and the direction indifferent. As for the acting, it's difficult to focus upon individual performances when the majority are buried beneath some of the worst fake accents ever committed to tape.
Hawaii Five-O: Why Won't Linda Die? (1978)
Hawaiian giallo?
Considering the psychological subtext to the plot and John Cacavas' unusually ornate score (reminiscent of Pino Donaggio or Ennio Morricone), it occurs to me that Jack Lord was trying to enfuse this episode with the spirit of the Italian giallo. After all, Brian De Palma had touched on similar themes in Sisters (1972).
Quincy M.E.: New Blood (1980)
Spin-Off?
"New Blood" is a curious episode. Although it's not a end-of-season show, it has the air of Star Trek's "Assignment: Earth" in as much as it sets up an entirely separate TV premise (much as Gene Roddenberry - faced with the imminent cancellation of Trek two seasons in - came up with the character of intergalactic spy "Gary Seven"). Meanwhile, Klugman's Quincy is almost entirely irrelevant and just mumbles from the sidelines. Something similar was tried on "Ironside", but the spin-off didn't spin far. Were the producers hoping to launch an entirely new show here, or was JK taking a few days off? If the latter, they missed the chance to get an intelligent female pathologist on screen 20 years before CSI.
Department S (1969)
Outrageous sexism in pilot episode
Spawned by the same Monty Berman / Dennis Spooner partnership which produced The Champions and Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) - the latter retitled My Partner the Ghost for the US market - Department S remains a classic example of the action-adventure series which the UK produced in bulk during the late 1960s. Like those two shows, its internal dynamic of two guys and a girl might seem to indicate a progressive attitude towards equality (Dept S also has a black superior), but it's mostly facade: the launch episode, "Six Days", is barely halfway through before Rosemary Nichols is called upon to parade around in bra, panties and one (yes, one) stocking in order to extricate herself from a dodgy situation. Still, it's an interesting time capsule, even if the appalling fashion sense of Peter Wyngarde's character (which, amazingly, degenerated even further in the spin-off series Jason King) should definitely have remained buried.
Lover's Concerto (1995)
aka The Ballerina
This film was released as a UK DVD release in 2001 by Prism Leisure, under the title The Ballerina; as an indication of the company's shoddy handling, Shelley Michelle and Lisa Marie Alach are credited on the sleeve as Sally Michelle and Lisa Marie Alachi. As indicated by the previous reviewer, much of Ms Michelle's screen time is taken up by her dancing, accompanied by what appears to be her personal quartet; the supporting cast-members are only slightly less convincing as musicians than she is as a prima ballerina. When not providing background classics (wouldn't a decent CD player have been cheaper?), the quartet hang around the pool and sauna, swapping partners and bodily fluids, whilst "Katya" (Michelle) gazes from afar and longs to join in. The ambiance is very much of late-night TV erotica, but paced more slowly: Red Shoe Diaries after a large mug of Horlicks.
Payne (1999)
Faulty Fawlty
The US has a history of lifting successful comedy formats from the UK, some of which have proved as successful - and occasional more so - than the original templates. Steptoe and Son became Sanford and Son, Till Death Us Do Part begat All in the Family, Man About the House mutated into Three's Company. Payne is not one of those shows.
Much as the US version of Coupling appears to have surgically sliced out the sex and sarcasm which made the original so funny, the team behind Payne seems unable to grasp that none of the characters in Fawlty Towers are meant to be likable, with the possible exception of Polly. Basil acts superior but has deep insecurities, Sybil is a self- centred bitch, Manuel is an idiot, even the guests are barely coherent.
But that's what makes them human. And funny. And whilst we bemoan the fact that Cleese & Booth produced only a dozen episodes of Fawlty Towers, we can sit agog that Payne made it as far as nine.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
If you don't laugh, you're probably dead
Well known to British television audiences for the surreal comedy Spaced, co-writer Simon Pegg heads a top notch comedy cast for a film which manages to be both one of the funniest big screen comedies in years and a gory horror film which will satisfy any disciple of the splatter genre; indeed, this is probably the most satisfying amalgam of the two forms since the early films of Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson (the former gets several nods in the script, as - of course - does George Romero). British comedy fans will also spot a veritable "who's who" from recent hits in the supporting cast (Spaced, The Office, Black Books, Little Britain). If this movie leaves you cold, you might as well leave the pub and join the zombies.
Tempus fugit (2003)
Award for SF Comedy
I'm delighted to announce that Tempus Fugit was named best non-UK independent feature at the 15th Festival of Fantastic Films, held in Manchester, England, on 20-22 August 2004. A worthy winner.
The FFF is held annually by the Society of Fantastic Films, and guests have included Roger Corman, Brian Clements, Robert Fuest, Norman J Warren, Pete Walker, Sarah Karloff, Mel Welles, Freddie Francis, Anne Robinson, Francis Matthews, Andrew Keir, Val Guest and Ingrid Pitt.
This year's event was held at the Manchester Conference Centre, with winners announced at the closing ceremony. The best UK independent feature was named as Voodoo London.