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marvy42
Reviews
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Incomprehensible Gibberish
This movie would have been a mega-smash in the drug-soaked 1960s when anything that made no sense at all was considered "deep". By the time this garbage was over, it had found a permanent niche in my "Worst Movies Of All Time" list.
It seemed like they hired a bunch of actors and told them to say the first thing that came into their minds. It certainly didn't help that the dialog kept switching between English and Chinese. Aside from the language, it (I hesitate to call it a "plot") bounces all over the place with little rhyme or reason. There wasn't a single character that I cared about in the least.
I'm sure that, if there really are alternate universes, the finished copies of the film were burned in all of them (except, sadly, ours).
May all their fingers turn to hot dogs. The one star was only because I liked the raccoon.
Murder with Music (1941)
Film is NOT from 1941
To get it out of the way at the beginning, the film was made in either late 1946 or early 1947, not 1941. We know this for two reasons: (1) In the scene in the secretary's office, there's a poster on the wall for Stepin Fetchit's movie "Big Timers", which was a 1945 film, and (2) there was no "Nellie Hill" in 1941; Nellie Harrell didn't marry Charles Wesley Hill until 1942. The acting is horrendous; fortunately, the music is really good. Not a spoiler, but ask yourself this: "how, exactly, do you know the piano player is dead?"
Murder with Music (1941)
Film is NOT from 1941
To get it out of the way at the beginning, the film was made in either late 1946 or early 1947, not 1941. We know this for two reasons: (1) In the scene in the secretary's office, there's a poster on the wall for Stepin Fetchit's movie "Big Timers", which was a 1945 film, and (2) there was no "Nellie Hill" in 1941; Nellie Harrell didn't marry Charles Wesley Hill until 1942. The acting is horrendous; fortunately, the music is really good. Not a spoiler, but ask yourself this: "how, exactly, do you know the piano player is dead?"
Rhythm and Blues Revue (1955)
Not from the Apollo Theater
If you're into Rhythm & Blues music from the 40s and 50s, this is your movie. However, let's dispel the myth that any of this was filmed at the Apollo Theater (or even before a live audience). The sequences in the film are a mixture of Snader telescriptions (early music videos made for TV) and material newly-filmed (in the spring and summer of 1954) at the midtown Manhattan sound stage of Studio Films. If MC Willie Bryant interacts in any way with the performers, the sequence was filmed at Studio Films. If he's just seen "watching" from the wings, that was inserted into the Snader clip. Look at the audience; a large percentage of them are white, something you never would have seen at the Apollo Theater in those days. It's just stock footage of an audience spliced in. I realize that this is nit-picking, but the performances stand on their own merit and don't need to be tied to the Apollo Theater.
Romeo + Juliet (1996)
An interesting movie
I usually don't like modern interpretations of Shakespeare. Hamlet, done in 19th Century Ruritania, never sat right with me. However, I really liked this one. I don't know how many of the cast were actually Shakespearean actors, but what interested me is that they didn't try to be. If Leonardo DiCaprio had declaimed and emoted and tried to chew up the scenery, he would have fallen flat. Instead, he just read the lines; and it worked. The same applies to the rest of the cast. They all just read the lines (convincingly, but not Shakespearean-ly) and got on with the play. I especially liked Miriam Margolyes playing The Nurse as a Mexican maid. In addition, the photography was visually stunning. In all, a very competent and pleasant movie.
Extraterrestrial (2014)
Unbelievably bad
In the 1950s or 60s, we would have gone to a drive-in and laughed ourselves sick over an inept teenagers-in-the-woods-who-do-everything-wrong movie such as this one. Now, it's not funny, just inept. Trite, overly long, and mind-numbingly boring, I was rooting for the aliens all the way. It never struck me that anyone would attempt to film anything like this in 2014 (unless it were a satire, of course). OK, it's not of Ed Woods Caliber (I never thought the aliens were made out of rubber), but it really tries. Some of the actors seem to have attended the if-I-scream-loud-enough-someone-might-take-it-for-real-acting school. There were few surprises; most of the time I could easily guess what was going to happen in the scene. (I suppose you can add a few stars if you're heavily into profanity.)
Back to the Beach (1987)
Still think it's great
I just watched "Back To The Beach" last night after not having seen it for at least 10 years and I still think it's great. It isn't "Casablanca" or "Citizen Kane," but I doubt many people were expecting it to be. It's gloriously silly and does a wonderful job of skewering the old beach party pictures (which I thought were brainless fun too). Even though Annette and Frankie are all grown up, they still act like teenagers (and look like they're having great fun doing it). While most of us boys were looking a lot higher once, I was amazed at Annette's legs; at 45, hers were better than a twenty-year-old's. Sadly, it was her last movie, but at least, in my opinion, she ended her career on a high note. If you've never watched any Frankie & Annette beach party movies, see at least a couple before seeing this; you'll appreciate it more.
Princess of Mars (2009)
What a travesty!
If this film had only used different character names, I would have rated it higher, because it would have been a dumb, laughable Science Fiction flick, possibly even enjoyable at some "it's raining and there's nothing else to do" level. You get the feeling that the writer had read the first John Carter book a long, long time in the past and remembered the characters' names without remembering what the story was about, or even what a thark was supposed to look like (I'm sure that Burroughs' warrior tharks didn't have tusks that wobbled). This plot was silly; Burroughs' was engrossing. The biggest disappointment was Traci Lords. While it was her body that was ravaged in many films, here, it was her face that looked ravaged - she just looked so OLD. (Fortunately, I never expected her to know how to act, so I wasn't disappointed there.) The big sword fight seemed to be performed by two actors who'd never held a sword in their lives; all the intercutting didn't cancel that out (why couldn't they have used stunt men?). A truly bad film.
Mourning Becomes Electra (1947)
Didn't know whether to throw tomatoes or laugh uncontrollably
One of the most ridiculously absurd movies I've ever seen. The acting is so completely over the top that I'd rate silent film emoters as being more subtle. The dialog is laughable; it's difficult to imagine that O'Neill wrote respected plays after seeing this monstrosity. It seems like the cast were told to get into costume and then treat the filming as a vacation from acting. I first saw the movie about 40 years ago and could barely believe how bad it was. I gave it another chance last night and it hadn't improved one bit. I have no problem comparing it to "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Of the entire main cast, only Nancy Coleman (Hazel) seems to display some minimal acting talent (and that's probably only due to her role being relatively small). Rosalind Russell and Michael Redgrave are more bizarre than tortured; Raymond Massey has seemingly given up; Katina Paxinou a raving beauty that men would kill for???? (be still, my lunch). Henry Hull (Seth) is the only cast member who at least tries (but fails miserably) to have a regional accent. That's well over two hours that I could have spent more profitably in a coma.
The Limits of Control (2009)
Worse than the worst
This film isn't even good enough to be considered the Worst Movie Ever Made. It is sui generis; its own category. My one regret is that I couldn't give this trash 0 stars. It's so mind-numbingly bad that it makes "Plan 9 From Outer Space" seem like Academy Award material in comparison. Even though I watched it on television, I still want my money back. No one should ever have to be subjected to a movie like this. Obviously, the filmmaker spent a lot of time watching Sergio Leone westerns; sadly, he learned nothing from them. Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name was interesting; the "hero" of this disaster isn't. I wanted him to die violently; I wanted everyone in the film to die violently. The same egregiously boring situation keeps being repeated over and over. The first time had no point; the last time still had no point. In sum, I didn't much care for it.