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cara-gayle
Reviews
Gumby 1 (1995)
Love it!
Gumby in a movie.
I have loved this movie since I was a kid. If you like Gumby, you will surely appreciate this. All the gang is there, and they have their real voices. They live on the farm, and have a band with Gumby and his (new) friends ??buckle, Thin-buckle, and No-buckle. Gumby spends all his time rehearsing and it makes Pokey feel left out. :( Nobody messes with my favorite character!!! Then Low-belly, the favored pet dachshund, cries something strange that Goo notices. Professor Caph does a test on the Low-belly tear, and it turns out to be a pearl! (I know it sounds silly but the movie is really cute and I mean, come on, this is talking clay, we already have some sense of suspension of disbelief!) Anyway, there's also some hint of love interest, as we meet Tara and her friend. (kind of like groupies) Then there's the sinister Blockheads who always have to cause trouble. They are a part of the antagonist, and there are other issues the group has to get through which are quite entertaining, like Gumby robots!
I will say the BEST part about this movie is the awesome 90's music, (one song is Still in my head and I love it!) "Oh, Gumby oh, you do something to my chemistry! You're Green, you're clay, you're a cosmic display!" It is a great song!
AND my favorite part is when they spoof movies like Star Wars, King Arthur, and even some of the previous Gumby episodes! It is a must-see for Stop-motion fans!
Only You (1994)
My Favorite Romantic Comedy EVER
This movie is so cute and so endearing, that I find it possible to watch frequently and still love it. Robert Downey Jr. is damn sexy to boot! The main character has it set in her mind from various childhood experiences with the supernatural that she is destined to be with one particular man, a Damon Bradley. But as she matures she "settles" for a foot doctor and they become engaged. Then one day, when a friend of her fiancé's calls, she gets his number and his name, Damon Bradley. Then the search takes them to Italy to find her soulmate! She is a wacky individual who thinks she knows what is best and doesn't want any regrets, so I find her believable. Her silly best friend is Bonnie Hunt and she is hilarious. This is reminiscent of romantic movies of old, and has enough twists to keep you interested through the movie, as well as their romantic tension. I love this movie, and have loved it for years. Great for teens, which is when I found this movie, but I still love it.
Dan in Real Life (2007)
Not Sure What to Think
This movie was pretty bad. The only thing that saved it was steve carell's acting, which is effortless even in bad writing, and Julianne Binoche's beauty, and I am not even attracted to women.
there are some seriously unbelievable things that go on in this movie. When the family is together, I feel trapped during the movie. I hate his family, they are all fake, and I hate Dane Cook. When they do things, they all have to do it together. What family works out in their front yard all together in their yoga pants and sweats? IS there a family somewhere in the country that does that/ BEcause I never want to meet them. Why would a seventeen year old girl barge in on her uncle's girlfriend when she is taking a shower? And why wouldn't the girlfriend just say, Um, LEAVE!!! instead of stripping down in front of your secretive accidental love connection that so happens to be in the shower. This whole movie keeps you wondering, and not in a good way.
And they all play football, while EVERYONE is doing something. It is so cheesy. The little kids are cheering, the adults are tackling each other and laughing it up like these are the only friends they ever had.
I HATE THEM All!! I didn't like Dan, I didn't like Marie, I hated his kids, there is no draw to any of them.
Yet there are moments that are so unrealistic, it's like a fantasy. Like dreams you want to have but things that would never happen IN REAL LIFE, which is a PART OF THE TITLE!!!
The Fly (1986)
First half much different than second half
I watched this movie on TV, not really knowing much about it but by the sound of it, it was a horror film. I love Jeff Goldblum, he's gorgeous, he's tall, he's built like a God, great actor, etc. and I love Geena Davis as well. So naturally I enjoyed the first 40 minutes to an hour of this movie. Jeff Goldblum plays the quirky yet lovable scientist who is on the verge of the greatest discovery of the 20th century, teleportation. Geena Davis is the journalist who becomes interested in his projects and realizes it has much potential. They fall for each other, but her ex-boyfriend who happens to be the editor of her profession, tries to intervene. I found the first half of the movie to have a different feel, almost like a romance. But I knew that this could not and would not last just from the title of the movie. I love Jeff Goldblum, and of course enjoyed seeing him nude in many scenes, as well as in his skivvies...hey it's as close to full frontal nudity I'll get in this movie! Ahem, anyway, then the movie gets really gross really fast. Geena notices he has some weird hairs growing on his back. He becomes less mellow and very high-strung. She is not pleasing him sexually, as he can last much longer than she can (my utter fantasy, without the morphing into a fly part). He becomes stronger and more agile. Then the creepy stuff begins (if you don't count the baboon inside-out). He arm wrestles a guy until the guy's arm bone breaks. (Gross). He uses canes and his hands are emitting pus-like substances. Geena meanwhile doesn't see him for a while. When she does, he is utterly grotesque, looks like he was in an acid accident, and vomits on his food to eat it (I almost lost MY food while watching this, so sudden and disgusting!) Then she feels sorry for him and tries to help him. I must admit I stopped watching at this point so I guess I really have no place writing a review. I will say though, that i did tune in to see more horrific stuff, and if you've already seen it you know what it is, and if not, just read the parental guide on this website. Basically, he morphs into a humanoid fly to the point that he just wants to die (if it were me I'd have just ended it much sooner) and Geena's character shoots its head off with a shotgun after an attempt to reverse the transformation failed. It is horrifying, sad, and disgusting. It makes me feel so sick and sad inside, but the good thing is that it is so far from reality that it is hard to relate to.
The beginning was more interesting and enjoyable in my opinion but I love to see Jeff Goldblum...like I said.' It's a "classic" remake, and it stands alone well without having seen the first one with Vincent Price.
But it is quite intense and gross at the end. I would recommend for people like me to just watch the first half or so, and then be done with it.
Black Swan (2010)
Trailer better than the Movie
I went into this only having seen the trailer. I was excited about it. It looked dark, creepy, and intriguing with the ballet aspect. I was going into it not knowing much but the trailer.
From the beginning I saw the scene from the trailer of Natalie portman dancing with a black swan. Within the first 10 minutes I had seen and heard everything else from the trailer. Natalie portman obviously did not do most of her footwork, as the cameras OBVIOUSLY never showed her feet except in closeups, the plot was obvious and direct and PREDICTABLE, and the acting was terribly contrived. There was a moment where when the teacher told her to touch herself, it was funny in its awkwardness. It lost the humor when she actually did in fact go home and not only touch herself, but masturbate herself and lucky us, we got to see the whole thing. It was disgusting. The cameras were ALL off-balance and made me SICK, and I got so sick of seeing the back of her neck for minutes at a time. I would not have minded the IMPLICATION of masturbation if she hadn't done it at least 3 times and we didn't have to see it in great detail. Come on, we get it. If we wanted to see porn we would have done something else besides go to THIS MOVIE.
What dumb asses wrote this? It TOLD you what was going to happen from the very first two sentences of the movie. That's not foreshadowing, that's bullshit.
And we left mid-movie during the lesbian make out/oral scene. I'm sorry, but it did NOTHING for the plot and it made us very uncomfortable. I don't care if it was a guy and a woman, something that explicit should be left out of a freaking SWAN LAKE movie about BALLERINAS. What the hell, people? I guess they were going for intense but instead went for pornographic.
The "horror" scenes were just gross and unnecessary, and the people were so one-dimensional it hurt me. So she was crazy, who cares? I surely didn't. I just wanted to get the hell out so I wouldn't be subjected to the nonsense of this movie anymore. I didn't see the ending and I could care less to know it. That is how bad this movie is.
Management (2008)
Management not worth it
This movie started out so boring that I stopped watching it after ten minutes of NOTHING happening but Aniston's character sitting in a motel room and Zahn's character entering and leaving with bottles of alcohol. I gave this movie another chance, and that is all I will ever give it. None of the characters have any point, any motivation to do anything, especially Woody Harrelson's character. I'm sad he's even affiliated with this movie. Aniston works for a company that sounds totally made-up and stupid, Corporate Bliss, and yet has some unfounded yearning to help homeless people. Zahn is just a creep that wants to get some from her because he likes her butt. So when Aniston stays at the motel, she lets him touch her butt and the next day she decides to have sex with him because, I guess he just wasn't creepy enough. So she goes home to her pointless life in this plot less movie, only to have Zahn show up at her place of work. So what do they do? They go play soccer together, what all people who have just met and had a one-night stand and then travel across the country do. Then he creepily stays at her house and sneaks into the bed to watch her sleep. I didn't find this cute at all nor charming, and the dialogue is inappropriate for the situation. Nothing is believable and every character is so one-dimensional it hurts. So next morning they go to a carnival!! How fun! Why did Mike even go to see her? Why did we see a scene of Aniston giving out meal vouchers to homeless people? That didn't warm our hearts at all. No feeling in this movie.
So after the carnival Zahn reviews how much the homeless people and soccer gals love Aniston, and now we know why those pointless scenes were thrown in there. Did a fourth grader write this?
So he leaves, and before we can feel anything, after the movie wastes more of our time by showing shots of the "passage of time", there Aniston is back at the hotel. Meanhwhile all we have learned is that Zahn is at the hotel and doing nothing but being a boring person.
They then share a supposedly meaningful yoga class, where we further learn NOTHING or have any emotional investment in the characters. Aniston reveals her plans to open a homeless shelter. The writers (if there were any) are just pulling from thin air.
Then all of a sudden Zahn takes her to his mother's house, where she is dying, and we had no investment in her so when she dies it DOESN'T MATTER! Sure we can think about what it's like to lose someone, but it does nothing to further the plot (or lack thereof), and is just awkward. I don't usually visit terminally ill family members of people I just met, unless I work at a hospital.
These people have no past, no present, and no future, until Woody Harrelson's character is introduced after a long preview about how he is an ex-punk. All these scenes with "Jango" (Harrelsens' character) are totally pointless and just serve as a villain and an empty shell of stupid along with all the other empty people.
I gave this three stars because I did actually finish it, and there was a scene when Zahn becomes a Buddhist monk (I'm not making this up), and I found it particularly touching when another monk was talking about letting go of the past. The scene was beautiful and just gave me a break from the terrible movie I had been watching, and for a moment it was all right.
Then I was forced back into the random spiral of nothingness, with Aniston ending up pregnant and unsure of the father. Wow. So Zahn uses the deed to the hotel his mother left him to go to Aniston and plan their homeless shelter together.
I bought this for less than a dollar when a store was closing so i can't say I wasted the money. I thought it was a lot older when I watched it, because all the decor is awful, the clothes are awful, and most of the scenes are awful. When I saw it was from 2008 I was shocked. Even the cover looked like it was from the nineties or at least 2000s. There had to have been some explanation for all the bad visuals and just overall bad movie. But alas, it was made two years ago.
There were a few laughable moments, but from minor characters that had less of a point.
I can understand what they were trying to do with this movie, but I can't understand why anyone would overly like this movie because of all the shallow, random, and plot less things in this movie.
There was a good song too. There's another star.