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mvincent-12339
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Expend4bles (2023)
I'm being generous
I am so glad I watched this movie "free" on Amazon Prime.
This is without a doubt one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I can't beleive that I actually sat there and watched it all of the way trhough.
To start with, the acting is below par (even for an Expendables movie - let's face it, we don't watch these movies for the acting quality, but this one went too far).
The green screen throughout is so bad that it is almost comical, it made me think at one stage that they had done it for comedy effect, until I realised that ... Nope, they just didn't care. Truly, the effects in the original "Flash Gordon" series were almost as good...And that was almost 100 years ago!!
At one pointthere is a small boat ploughing through the big wave (not a spoiler - honestly! You couldn't spoil this film if you tried), and you could have stood a 10p coin on the deck and it would not have fallen over.
The plot is obvious (I'm being generous in calling it a plot). The action scenes are rubbish. I don't know what else to say. I was a fan of the cheesiness of this frachise, but this one is just pathetic.
As I say in my intro... I'm being generous with 3 stars, simply because it is an Expendables movie and I was not expecting a lot from it.,
Babes with Blades (2018)
Worse than expected.
I watched this because I was bored and looking for a cheesy film to round off my evening. I thought this would be one of those films that might be so bad that they end up being good (for all the wrong reasons). I was wrong.
This film is bad because it is bad... I mean really bad, as in the local amdram society could have acted better.
It was clearly a low budget film, but that's OK, I have seen some enjoyable low budget films, this one made little effort with the budget it had though. The "bad guy" was so over the top with his voice and actions that he would have been thrown out of panto for over acting, the leading "bad woman" was just...meh.
The ridiculous storyline was predictable and almost non-existant as well as having ludicrous plot holes. (seriously - a race that can travel between planets and conquer them, wiping out whole civilisations has guns that take 5 seconds to reload after a single shot? And that's not the worst one).
All in all I can't find any redeeming feature for this film. I have only given it 2 points for the sheer guts it must have taken to actually get someone to take part.
Wednesday (2022)
Much better than I wanted it to be
I heard about the new series "Wednesday" and saw that it was being made by Netflix - immediately a huge red flag for me. I saw that there was a huge amount of hype surrounding the launch date - another red flag (let's face it , most of the stuff that gets hyped to the eyeballs is utter rubbish).
Then I saw that it was being made by Tim Burton , the master of the gentle macabre so I thought hmmmm. Of course Wednesday was being played by this girl Jenna something (yes, I know her name NOW, at the time I couldn't place her) and I thought, "who is this upstart who is taking on the role of the ONLY Wednesday (Christina Ricci, of course). Then I saw that Christina Ricci was in it, and had said that Jenna whatsername did a great job, so I thought "Ok, I will give it a go".
I must admit that I sat down to watch it 'on sufferance' and had it firmly in my mind that I was going to hate it.
By the end of episode one I was hooked, and I binge watched the whole series. Jenna Ortega (yes, I knew her name now) did a great job as Wednesday, her room mate played her role magnificently, even down to the little subvocal whimpers and whines of a puppy when you listen for them. Christina Ricci was almost unrecognisable, but played her part well, as did most of the rest of the cast.
I was somewhat disappointed with the look of Gomez, but it is more in keeping with the original comic, so I have to forgive that even if I was not keen, although he was one of the few characters that i felt phone in his part to an extent. Catherine Zeta Jones did not put in the performance of an Oscar winner, although I suppose she wasn't too bad. I think the only thing I wasn't keen on was the monster which looked kind of like Gollum on a bad acid trip.
I have read a number of the reviews from those who really didn't like the series (many of them refer to it as a movie, so I am not sure how much they took notice,, or even if they watched past the first episode), and of those the main thing that people say is that it is not the same as the series and that it is only for teens. My response to that is "No, it's not the same as the original series or the films, it's not meant to be. And, as for being for teenagers, I am 60 years old. I loved it".
Mortal Engines (2018)
A refreshing change
I really enjoyed this film and can't understand why it did so badly in the box office. OK, so maybe it's not really worthy of the 9 stars that I gave it (8 would probably be more realistic), but it is certainly better than the 6.1 rating it currently has here.
The story is reasonably faithful to the book (yes there are differences- quite a lot of them, but it is a film and that is always the case), and doesn't deviate horrendously from the main story line. I liked the characters and I also love the fact that all of the internal sets were built and the film is not just another greenscreen CGI fest (It is worth watching the extra features on the BluRay/DVD to see how the film was made).
I can kind of see where some of the criticism is coming from if you really dig deeply into "oh, it resembles Star Wars (huh?) Indiana Jones (a guy in a leather jacket apparently makes this the case against it) and a fairly simple story - (It is based on a book written for young teenagers)" but I don't particularly care about any of that. I enjoyed the film and have watched it a few times.
If you haven't seen it, give it a go... and definitely watch the extra features.
Avatar (2009)
meh! It was OK I guess
When news of this film first came out I was kind of excited. It promised to be a whole new way of making films. There was so much hype about it that it had a lot to live up to. (This is one of the reasons that I have taken so long to write a review, I wanted to give it time and watch it again a few times over the years to see if my initial impressions changed).
I saw this in the cinema in 3D and thought, OK, the 3D effects are subtle- made a change from things jumping into your face, but nothing that great. Yes, the cinematography was good, the special effects were good (they still hold up today), but that's it.
The story was bland and predictable, the characters were not at all engaging and the environmental message was ridiculously in your face. After al these years I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the bad guys were after a rare material, but "unobtanium"???? REALLY???? Unfortunately the rest of the plot goes along much the same lines.
The bad guys are ridiculously over-played, the only thing they lacked was waxed moustaches to twirl. The "hero" was just not at all engaging and the other characters were predictable.
I am probably being a bit generous with a 4 star rating, but I have been able to watch the film a few times, so I guess it is not too horrendous.
Sadly Cameron is wasting his time making even more of these movies. I for one will not watch them in the cinema, I won't even buy the BluRays new when they come out. I will wait until they become available on the second hand market, and then wait for them to be reduced in price there.
Jane and the Lost City (1987)
OK, more cheese than cheddar gorge .... but fun.
This is one of those films where you switch your brain off and just sit back for chuckles. There are no real laugh out loud moments, although the tango scene comes close. The acting could be considered terrible until you remember that it is all done to try to emulate a 1930s comic strip. take that into account and it's not so bad.
Jane's clothing coming off every few scenes is nothing for parents to be worried about, she has the 1930s satin underwear on and really, nothing inappropriate at all is seen.
The dialogue is written as though it was a comic book and the only thing missing are the little speech bubbles.
I watched it because I was bored and it was included in my amazon prime membership. I am very glad that I didn't pay to see it, but may one day watch it again (probably with a very large glass of wine in my hand though).
The Old Guard (2020)
What a pleasant surprise!
I was trawling Netflix looking for a movie to watch as I had seen all of the films that I wanted to see on Netflix (or so I thought). I started searching for films by my favourite actors/actresses and found this one.
I don't understand why there are so many haters of this film. I found the plot line, although simple, was enjoyable. I found the characters engaging. the action scenes were fine as well. I absolutely loved the music and am adding it to my listening 'musts', I certainly don't agree that it was the wrong music for the film Some of the special effects were very clever.
Some may say that I am easily pleased, but I watch a film to enjoy it, not to critique the whole cinematography (which by the way I thought was very good) or the deep underlying messages, (I don't care about those most of the time, and sometimes they spoil a movie). I rate a film on the basis of "did I enjoy it?" and "would I watch it again?", and the answer in both cases is "hell yes!"
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Beyond doubt my favourite Sci-Fi movie ever. I bought a Blu-Ray player and 4K TV Just to enjoy it more.
This is without a doubt my favourite movie ever. As I said in the title, I actually did buy a Blu-Ray player and 4K TV so that I could watch this at home in the quality it deserves. I really hope that the sequels (and there appear to be many opportunities for them, having watched the extra features,) are not too far away.
A really well thought out, well defined story line, engaging characters, excellent acting and amazing special effects. It kept me glued to the seat for the entire film.
Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)
Absolutely dreadful
Where to begin?
The acting is atrocious, the characters are unlovable and not at all relatable. The "message" of brotherly love is facile and weakly portrayed. The "twists" are either nonsensical or blatantly obvious. There is nothing to enjoy about this film. Even my 8 year old son thought it was puerile, (OK not his exact word).
Some of the effects were OK, but seriously, there was nothing enjoyable about this watered down rip-off of Jumanji.
As previously mentioned, there has to be an element of reality in a film and this fails in so many ways:
A house as a space craft? no walls and still able to breath? Astronaut that was floating around in a spacesuit for 15 years, and then flies to the rescue without his space suit? These are not the only (or worst examples)