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Reviews
The Boondock Saints (1999)
Just Plain Bad
Pros: Good visuals; decent soundtrack; good general idea for a movie.
Cons: Utter cr*p for a script; very bad acting overall with only few exceptions; laughable, pathetic characters; illogical, predictable, stupid.
I can't believe action movies can get THIS bad these days. The idiotic excuse-for-a-script serves only two purposes: some excuse for on-screen violence and the use of the f-word as pretty much the only verb the "characters" use in their communication. Is this supposed to be funny or have some "deeper meaning" or something? Compared to the others in the genre -- "Pulp Fiction", "Reservoir Dogs", "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels", "Natural Born Killers", "Dobermann", "Dogma" -- this one is an unbelievable pile of garbage and a real PAIN to sit through. Do not even bother to rent.
p.s. A Russian mafia boss with a surname of Pavlova? Heck, why didn't they just name him Mary-Ann?
Go (1999)
Disappointing.
The makers of this movie simply tossed some young people, drugs, raves, violence, swearing and softcore sex together and split them all up again on the editor's bench, apparently with an intention to make a "hip" movie. Unfortunately, their effort failed pathetically and the movie turned out quite pointless and boring. Guess they were expecting the audience to apes over anything "cool" they put into the thing. "Oh, cool, drug dealers.. gee, look at that, nudie breasts.. did you hear that, the guy said an F-word, wow". If you were looking for something in the lines with "Pulp Fiction", that is, a movie with cool characters, a plot and fun dialogue, this one is *not* what you're looking for. It's especially surprising that it's categorized as a comedy, as any funny moments to this movie are notably absent.
In short, save your money and see "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" instead. 3/10
Death Machine (1994)
Cheesy but fun
Amazing, how many people seemed to take this movie so seriously, and even the folks at IMDB failed to classify it as a comedy. The truth is, the movie has a decent amount of serious horror and action at the first glance, but everything is done with tongue held firmly in cheek. This movie has some real suspense, as the evil machine thing looks dangerous, well animated and FAST; on the other hand it has some absolutely hilarious laugh-out-loud moments, especially in the "Terminator"-style HUD display shots later in the movie. Come on, who still thinks this is movie is a serious but bad effort after the scene where the (anti)heros disarm the villain of approximately 15 handguns and, literally, a rubber chicken? The dialogue, especially the villain's, is quite entertaining; the acting varies from pretty good to bearable and the special effects aren't too shabby at all. All in all, it's a great movie to watch & make fun of, with some beer and a bunch of friends.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Very mediocre.
The hype was as a matter of fact the cleverest and most professional part of the movie. The "documentary" style would've worked so much better if the actors weren't so amateurish and unconvincing. The camerawork absolutely sucked even considering it was supposed to be shot by film students scared to death -- a four-year child could've done a better job. The constant, stupid bobbing of picture, even when the camera was placed on the ground as it would seem, made the experience of watching this flick physically(!) nauseating, which has yet to happen with any other movie. In short, skip it.