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devlocke
Reviews
Magnolia (1999)
If only this movie hadn't been nominated for anything...
... because of it's nomination, I decided I would sit through this movie until the end. I kept hoping it would become... well... watchable? Yep, that's the word. It certainly never GOT watchable. The opening # w/ the song "One" was irritating, but I gave it it's shot. By the end of the first tape, I was pretty sure it wouldn't get any better. By the end of the second... I was really upset that I'd bothered to rent it. What's so bad?
Plot: none that comes together. If you keep thinking that all of the storylines will come together, in some depressing, artsy, and pointless version of "Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels" all I can say is, you're SOL. The movie starts out with 2 or 3 plots. And it ends with 2 or 3 plots. Two of them mix... but none of them come to any conclusion, and at no point do they ALL come together.
The characters: Bah. Perhaps they were somewhat realistic, before the actors got a hold of them, but in the finished product they all seem fake as hell, because
The acting: Sucks. Kind of like Kabuki, in that a.) everything is incredibly overstated, but b.) if you're incredibly anal you'll find subtleties. Not a SINGLE piece of dialog, other the incoherent ramblings of a doped-up dying old man (which are incoherent, and ramble), is delivered in anything LIKE the manner a real person would use. The dialog is HEAVILY contrived. Tom Cruise really was ok - his dialog sucked but it ALMOST sounded natural from him. I was impressed. The cop - if you see it, you'll know who I refer to - was just SO bad a character and acted SO badly I developed a physical reaction to him coming on screen. Specifically, nausea. And finally...
The frogs: the movie got fun for approximately 10 minutes. Why? Because the fact that a bible verse involving Egypt and the plagues was mentioned hours ago does NOT mean that millions of frogs raining from the sky in modern-day LA for NO reason whatsoever makes ANY sense at all. So incredibly whimsical, I laughed in shock through the entire sequence.
In short: it's not artistic, it's artsy crap.
Plunkett & Macleane (1999)
The closest thing I can think of to compare it to...
.. is the Princess Bride meets... well Trainspotting. But wait, really, it's a good combination! This was definitely one of the better movies I've seen in a long time... it has the kind of witty dialog I associate with The Princess Bride or Cemetery man, along with the disgusting scenes of violence of a horror movie... the heroic feel of Princess Bride combined with the (this is odd) lack of any really good guys that Trainspotting had.
I'm not saying it was as GOOD as the Princess Bride, but it was in the arena, and it rocked. Some of the dialog transcends pleasing to brilliant, the plot is interesting, the characters - while SLIGHTLY anacronistic - are anacronistic not due to their intrinsic nature (there WERE flamboyantly gay people in the 18th century, contrary to a previous reviewer's remarks) but just in a bit of the language they used. The anachronisms made it fun, though, and NOT cheesy and easily dismissed.
If you've ever read any Simon R. Green, or Gleen Cook's Garrett series, you know EXACTLY what this movie is. Check it out. It's great.
Unmasked Part 25 (1988)
The best satire of gore & slasher films ever made...
This movie is a masterpiece - I can't believe it's not at LEAST a cult classic. It laughs at Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, all those "5 Teens in a house w/ a madman" movies, and that's just for starters. If you like this kind of humor (the European caustic, sarcasm kind, as seen in Cemetery Man, to name another great movie) you will absolutely LOVE this movie. Beautifully bad acting (intentionally so), some of the wittiest dialog I've ever seen, GREAT characters... from the basic concept of this film, all the way to the final implementation, this film is BRILLIANT! Check it out! Recommend it to all your friends! It's great, and NO ONE has ever heard of it...