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Metamorphoses (1978)
Completely forgotten by all, except perhaps by die-hard animation buffs.......
When I was a child, there were two animated films that came out within the same basic time period which I had to wait over a decade to finally see: HEAVY METAL and this film. I finally saw HEAVY METAL in 1990 at a convention. This one I finally saw during the fall of 1998, and it was far, far, FAR harder to track down than HEAVY METAL was (to date, I've only seen two different video stores in two different states that carried it).
Both have funky then-contemporary soundtracks, and both are deemed rebellious moves against the American trend of seeing cartoons for children during the 70s and 80s--they are rated R and PG, respectively. Both are also "anthologies"--that is, containing several stories within one movie. However, there is all the difference in the world between HEAVY METAL and WINDS OF CHANGE, the lesser being that the former has spawned a huge cult following, while this one seems to have been completely forgotten...one gets the impression that it played very briefly in empty theatres. While the former has disappointed many animation film fans like myself who waited all this time to FINALLY see it due to its pessimistic (and not to mention chauvinistic) attitude and ugliness, WINDS OF CHANGE is a much lighter piece of work.
Produced by Sanrio, I'm not quite sure how it was assembled... I almost get the impression that it was originally a series of shorts which were stitched together for this release, but that's only a guess. It has no voices at all, only the narration of Peter Ustinov narrarating and providing ALL the voices here, and the whole thing is set to a HOT, REALLY cool pop/disco soundtrack that was once published by none other than Casablanca Records (not surprisingly). Ok, ok, maybe so far it doesn't sound too hot to you, but I liked watching it all the same.
There is no story here, just a series of Greek myths retold using a character called Dreammaker, or something like that, cast in the role of the various heroes/antiheroes (when I was young, I was so SURE he was an elf--as he looks now, his rounded ears make him look something like a smurf, but nevermind). For some curious reason, though, a similar-looking Peter-Pan-resembling character posing as Dreammaker--who appeared in the first story as someone else entirely--appears later on the film, and we are asked to believe he's the same character. But who cares? The animation is very smooth, and although the stories don't really have happy endings except maybe one, plus the fact that your own fantasies may leap to suspicious attention when you see Pegasus presented here with a snake's head, it is actually a nice, fun film for popcorn fun on a Saturday night.
One of the things that really makes the film the most delightful is Ustinov's deliberately tounge-in-cheek narraration. When he tries to do the voice of a goddess in a bad falsetto, you may chortle more than just a little bit. An excellent example of his vocals here, to give you an idea, comes at a scene in which a goddess is absolutely enraged. Her face is a mask of outrage, her actions fierce as she causes a tempest to swirl about her dramatically, her long hair blowing wildly. And yet... Ustinov's voice says smirkingly in a deliberately normal tone, "I...am MAD. REAL mad. I mean, I am really, REALLY mad. You have not SEEN mad until you've seen ME mad." And when she throws up her arms in a dramatic gesture to make everything stop in order to inflict a curse, he says, "Ok, that's enough, shut up. I have an important announcement to make."
Don't expect a huge grand finale ending either--its end is abrupt and to the point. It's also just as goofy as the rest of the film. WINDS OF CHANGE as a whole is light and fluffy, sure, but it's sort of nice to sit there and let it wash over you mindlessly with its images and music--I think the main reason why I ended up liking this film is that, in its own way, it's so unpretentious. It's not trying to sell toys, isn't trying to wow you with anything, it isn't calculated to any audience in particular, but rather seems to point back to a happier time when movies weren't so commercialized and when more directors made films not to make money or gain prestige, but simply to have a nice time making a movie--just because they WANTED to make it--and sharing it with others. Due to this honesty, WINDS OF CHANGE, while not spectacular, ends up besting practically everything introduced on American Saturday mornings during the 80s alone. Give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised. It's certainly not up there as a star glittering with the best animated motion pictures of all time, and I'm certainly not suggesting that it represents some vastly important landmark in animation history, but I'm happy I saw it all the same.
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1979)
I love David Bowie, but...
I still love David Bowie, and still very much would have loved to see one of his Ziggy Stardust shows... but this video is a cruel teaser. I couldn't understand why a videotape book I saw called it "practically unwatchable, and unlistenable"--now I know why. Bowie does his best to put on a good performance, but that's not the problem here--the problem is that this may very well be the WORST filming of a concert ever made. The cameras, obviously handheld, are constantly refocusing themselves and forgetting their places, they are shaky, the quality is no better than your typical home movie, they all too often focus on the audience for far too long when we wish we could see the changes going on on stage in the show instead, the sound quality is hideous, and worst of all, we only get an IDEA of what the concert was like (I still have no idea what even the full STAGE looks!). If it weren't for the fact that this is a legitimate release, I would swear that it was an illegally-filmed movie made by a group of fans who snuck cameras into the concert. It's THAT bad. It's really terrible when the cameras are so set on awful closeups and are so shaky and unsteady that you can't even understand most of what's supposed to be going on on stage. After watching it, I felt like I had only been given a hint of what one of those Ziggy-era shows was like... and I still have no more of a full idea of what the experience was like than I did before sitting down to watch this. It's terribly, terribly sad that this is apparently the only footage shot of one of those shows--because we Bowie fans who weren't there would STILL love to see the show in its entirety.
Purojekuto A-ko (1986)
Huh?
I really wanted to enjoy this film when I first saw it. I knew it had a tremendous cult following, I've heard it was hilarious and a giant parody of other anime genres. Being EXTREMELY familiar with anime, I finally managed to get my hands on this one some tens years or more later after first hearing about it. And now I wish I had left well enough alone. I honestly don't see how this one got its huge reputation, and while watching it I felt like both the director and the fans of this movie were in on some huge joke which they weren't telling me. B-ko is beyond obsessive about little C-ko (it has a powerful lesbian bent), the plot is almost non-existent and the "gags" are only half-executed here, and instead of laughing I was staring at this and thinking, "Huh?" It doesn't seem to really know what its main objective parody-wise really is, and actually seems to take itself pretty seriously most of the time. I've heard fans say there are tons of little puns on anime which make it enjoyable, but... well, in all honesty I don't see them, and I am as I said extremely familiar with anime. It's an interesting oddity to see, though, and maybe you might get a little more out of it than I did--but I think I can say that just because you may be a huge fan of anime doesn't automatically guarantee you'll "get" this supposedly hilarious joke, much less like it.
Never Too Young to Die (1986)
EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And HERE WE HAVE IT!!!!!! The WORST, STUPIDEST, most thoroughly USELESS movie ever made!!!!! Never before have I ever been forced to be subjected to such horrific junk (and by saying that, I mean to say that I was FORCED to watch this one, believe me! I was babysitting a kid who picked it out at the video store, and I wish to make it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR that I never either chose or paid money to see this stinkbomb)! Basically, the movie stars Gene Simmons as a nauseating half man, half woman THING (don't ask), and that's as much about this atrocious GLOP that I care to repeat, because I've already had to hold my stomach long enough just to repeat THAT one detail. If you think it's bad enough to be hilarious, it isn't. If you think it might be a campy hoot for a party, it isn't. It is every bit as boring as it is awful, believe me. To give you an idea of how awful this thing is, I'm just going to repeat one moment, a moment which is NOT, I repeat, NOT performed for camp or laughs but is done SERIOUSLY, believe it or not---a scene in which the young hero is duking it out with Simmons, in which Simmons gets knocked to the ground, and starts whining in a prissy voice, "Oh, you brute!!! You fiend!!!" to which the hero replies in an incredulous voice, "You really ARE part woman!" (Well, hey, we all knew the truth....wicked grin)
The Pirate Movie (1982)
One of the most delightful musicals ever made!
Yeah yeah, I know. You've heard it all before. You've heard Leonard Maltin rip up this film, as well as countless other videotape books and newspaper reviews. Forget them! Such critics obviously THINK too much. Kick back and enjoy The Pirate Movie for what it is: a hilarious, campy, silly and loveable romb with some of the most lighthearted music I have ever had the pleasure to hear in a musical. This is one of those rare spoofs that not only manages to be silly, but genuinely uplifting as well...and by the end, you'll be humming "Happy Ending" for a long, long time, believe me. Ted Hamilton seems to be having a blast as the Pirate King, as well as everybody else here...there's no attitude of "Ick! We're in a bomb, call our agent!" floating about anywhere, everyone's having too much fun. Why this film bombed neither myself nor its legions of fans will ever understand, because if it was rereleased today it would become quite a fine hit, if not a huge moneymaker (hint hint, 20th Century Fox!). I've shown my withered, dear old copy to lots of people, and all have instantly loved it. And so will you.