Xena: Warrior Princess (TV Series)

Punch Lines (2000)

Renée O'Connor: Gabrielle

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Gabrielle : [in voiceover with quill to parchment]  It was the kind of night where you could feel time flow over you like the amnesiatic waters of the river Styx.

  [crumples parchment] 

  Gabrielle : That is terrible. 'Amnesiatic', I don't think that's a word.

• Aphrodite : [materializing behind Gabrielle]  Boo!

  Gabrielle : Aphrodite?

  Aphrodite : Can't sleep, huh?

  Gabrielle : You scared me.

  Aphrodite : Sorry, I didn't know I had to *knock* in my own temple.

  Gabrielle : You don't, but can you just keep it down, I don't want to wake Xena.

  Aphrodite : Pregnant girl need her rest, huh? I remember when Cupid was on his way...

  Gabrielle : Uh, doesn't a god of your obvious stature have anything better to do than hang out here in the middle of the night?

  Aphrodite : Owwie. What's with the attitude? I let you sleep in my temple. I show real concern for your insomnia, and you treat me like I'm a rash where the sun don't shine.

• Aphrodite : So you shrunk her horse, big deal. Everybody shrinks as they get older. That's why old people are so short.

  Gabrielle : Now that's very constructive. What are you writing?

  Aphrodite : Patient is hostile and insecure, possibly masking some latent tendencies.

  Gabrielle : This is stupid.

  Aphrodite : No, I'm sorry. Look. No more scroll, alright?

  Gabrielle : Latent tendencies? Where did you learn to talk like that?

  Aphrodite : Honey, don't let the blonde hair fool you. Although bombastic forms of circumlocution should be generally avoided, one mustn't shy away from big words in the right context.

  Gabrielle : What?

• [last lines] 

  Xena : You know, I gotta tell ya, I am feeling a whole lot better. I mean, life's pretty sweet for me right now. I've got no cooking, no cleaning, and back rubs for a month.

  Gabrielle : Technically, you didn't lose your temper, but Xena, I saw you throwing pies in a less than loving manner.

  Joxer : *Much* less.

  Xena : Oh?

  Joxer : Uh, uh, loving.

  Xena : Yep, loving. That's me.

  [pie hits her in the face] 

  Xena : Who threw that pie?

• Aphrodite : So, let me ask you this. Isn't all this story-telling an awful lot like writing?

  Gabrielle : It's similar, but with writing, it's like talking to yourself. It's a way that you can work things out. Of course, I know now exactly who I am.

  Aphrodite : So then who cares? Why write?

  Gabrielle : Haven't you ever had an artistic impulse that's like a bad itch, and you just have to keep working on it until you get it out?