The Simpsons (TV Series)

Trash of the Titans (1998)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : Good news, everyone! I got in a fight with the garbage men and they're cutting off our service!

  Marge Simpson : Oh, lord, now what are we going to do? Just let the trash pile up?

  Homer Simpson : Hey, I'd rather live in a dump than in a world run by snooty garbage men.

  Lisa Simpson : Dad, is this another one of those situations that could be solved by a simple apology?

  Homer Simpson : I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

• Marge Simpson : Homer, this has gone far enough. Will you please just apologize to the garbage men?

  Lisa Simpson : Yeah, Dad. You're always telling me and Bart to apologize.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, but I'm always secretly disappointed when you do. Anyway, I think those garbage men are starting to crack.

  Bart Simpson : I think you're starting to crack.

  Homer Simpson : Apologize for that remark!

  Bart Simpson : No way!

  Homer Simpson : Atta-boy!

• Marge Simpson : Homer, you didn't beat City Hall. They picked up our trash because I wrote a letter of apology to the sanitation commissioner and signed your name. Period.

  Homer Simpson : [hurt]  You signed my name? I feel so violated.

  Marge Simpson : You've signed my name lots of times!

  Homer Simpson : But this isn't like a loan application or a will! You've signed away my dignity! And I'm going to get it back. Lisa, do I have my pants on?

  Lisa Simpson : Yes.

  Homer Simpson : Perfect.

• Costingtons Manager : Okay, people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the summer. Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables.

  Costingtons Woman : How about something religious? We had great penetration last spring with Christmas Two.

  Costingtons Man : Oh, I know. Spendover, like Passover, less talk, more presents.

  [Everyone starts talking at once] 

  Costingtons Manager : No, no, no! No, it's gotta be warm and fuzzy. Some like, um, "Love Day", but not so lame.

  [cut to the Simpsons home several days later] 

  Marge Simpson : Happy Love Day, everyone!

  Lisa Simpson : Come on, Mom, The stores just invented this holiday to make money.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa, don't you ruin another Love Day.

• Homer : It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won.

  [Lisa sighs] 

  Lisa's Brain : I know, I heard it too. Here's some music.

  [Piano music plays quietly. Lisa smiles contentedly] 

• Homer Simpson : Okay, before I show you, who wants to guess how I got the money?

  Bart Simpson : Dealing drugs?

  Lisa Simpson : Drugs?

  Marge Simpson : I'll have to say drugs, too.

  Homer Simpson : Close, but you're way off.

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, you can't just cram trash under Springfield forever...

  Homer Simpson : [pats her on head]  Sure I can, honey-kitten!