Armageddon (1998)
Billy Bob Thornton: Dan Truman
Photos
Quotes
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Truman : So what's the verdict?
Harry Stamper : They'll do it. They've made a few requests though.
Truman : Such as?
Harry Stamper : [riffles through sheets of paper] Well, there's uh, few things here, uh... nothin' really big, uh, just- Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record.
Oscar : [shouting from balcony] Fifty-six tickets in seven states...
Harry Stamper : [to Oscar] I'll-I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it.
Oscar : Okay.
Harry Stamper : Uh, Noonan's got two women friends that he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Max would like you to... bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that's gonna work, but, uh, let's see what else. Um, Chick wants a full week's Emperor's Package at Caesar's Palace. Um - hey, you guys wouldn't be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
[pause, turns and shakes his head]
Harry Stamper : Um, Bear would like to stay at the...
[tries to read writing]
Harry Stamper : "White horse"?
[looks up at Bear]
Bear : White, *House*. White House.
Harry Stamper : White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that.
Truman : Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of... some of that.
Rockhound : [shouting from balcony] Harry!
Harry Stamper : [motions back at Rockhound] Yeah one more thing, um... none of them wanna pay taxes again.
[pauses]
Harry Stamper : Ever.
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Dan : [the President asks about the size of the asteroid] lt's the size of Texas, Mr President.
President : Dan, we didn't see this thing coming?
Dan : Well, our object collison budget's a million dollars, that allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.
President : And the ones this morning?
Dan : Uh, those are nothing. Uh, they're the size of basketballs... and, uh, Volkswagens, things like that.
President : Is this going to hit us?
Dan : We're obtaining that as we speak, sir.
President : What kind of damage are we...
Dan : Damage? Total, sir. It's what we call a global killer. The end of mankind. Doesn't matter where it hits. Nothing would survive, not even bacteria.
President : My God. What do we do?
NASA Techs : [a NASA tech comes running into the room] We have 18 days before it hits Earth.
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Dan : With the proximity of the asteroid, and no prep time, none of our primary plans can work.
General Kimsey : Why don't we just send up a hundred and fifty nuclear warheads and blast that rock apart?
Ronald Quincy : Terrible idea.
General Kimsey : Was I talkin' to you?
Dan : This is Dr. Ronald Quincy from Research. Pretty much the smartest man on the planet You might wanna listen to him.
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Dr. Banks : [going through the roughnecks' medical reports] Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative!
Harry : Sedatives are used all the time, doctor.
Dr. Banks : Well this one's used on horses.
Harry : Some of these guys are pretty big.
Dr. Banks : [to Truman] You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel. We have seen evidence of a wide fariety of territorial aggression.
Dan : Can they *physically* survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay?
Dr. Banks : Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests.
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General Kimsey : If you're trying to make me feel better about this scenario, give it up.
Truman : To tell you the truth, I'm kind of encouraged. This guy Chick here was an Air Force commando for six years.
General Kimsey : We got robbery, assault, arrest, resisting arrest. We got a collection agent for the mob. Two of these guys have done serious time.
Truman : Look, they're the best at what they do.
General Kimsey : So am I. And I'm not so optimistic. We spend 250 billion dollars a year on defense. And here we are. The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.
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Rockhound : Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that - is that what we're doin' here?
Harry Stamper : [under his breath] Rockhound.
Rockhound : No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry.
Harry Stamper : [talking over him] Hey, Rock. Knock it off.
Truman : Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote.
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Harry Stamper : What's your contingency plan?
Truman : Contingency plan?
Harry Stamper : Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right?
Truman : No, we don't have a back up plan. This is it.
Harry Stamper : And this is the best that you c - that the-the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you-you're NASA for cryin' out loud, you put a man on the moon, you're geniuses! You-you're the guys that think this shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You're telling me you don't have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world's hope, that's what you're telling me?
Truman : Yeah.
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Oscar : Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?
Truman : 200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that.
Oscar : Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable.
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General Kimsey : And the ones this morning?
Dan : Uh, those were nothing. Uh, they're the size of basketballs and, uh, Volkswagens, things like that.
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Truman : Welcome back, cowboy.
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Grace Stamper : You have not told them yet. That is my father up there!
Dan : [to General Kimsey] This is one order you shouldn't follow and you fucking know it!
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Truman : Now let's keep the laughter to a minimum. I know this is not to scale. Both shuttles will take off Tuesday at 6:30pm. Now, 67 minutes later, you're gonna dock with the Russian Space Station to meet cosmonaut Andropov, who will refuel the shuttles with liquid O2 - that's your fuel - then you'll release and take a 60 hour trip toward the moon. Now we only have one shot of landing on this rock, and that's precisely when the asteroid passes by the moon. You'll then use lunar gravity and burn your thrusters, slingshotting you around the moon, coming up behind the asteroid. You'll be upward of 11 G's.
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Dan : Tell me, you never let anybody down before.
Harry Stamper : I never quit yet, how is that ?
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Truman : [before shuttles launch] OK gentleman, you're our warriors up there. God be with you. You're already heroes, just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Truman : So you drill, you drop the nuke, and you leave. Now, here's the key: you're gonna remote-detonate the bomb... before the asteroid passes this plane,
[Quincy shows a video of the asteroid]
Truman : Zero Barrier. You do that, and the remaining pieces of rock should be deflected enough to pass right by us. Now, if the bomb explodes after Zero Barrier...
[the video of the asteroid fragments hitting the Earth is displayed]
Truman : Game's over.
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Truman : [a team of soldiers come into the control room via the elevators] What is this?
General Kimsey : Secondary protocol.
Truman : But they haven't drilled the damn hole yet!
General Kimsey : The president's advisors feel that the drilling isn't working. And we've lost radio contact, maybe for good. We've only got a few minutes left of guaranteed ability to remote detonate that nuke. If we don't do it now, we could lose control and we may never get it back.
Truman : Well, you tell the president that he better fire his so-called advisors! And if you detonate that nuke on the surface, we've wasted a perfectly good bomb. And we have one chance to save this planet!
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Truman : [explaining to the Stampers about the asteroid] So, when the rogue comet hit the asteroid belt, it sent shrapnel right for us. For the next 15 days, the Earth's in a shooting gallery. Even if the asteroid itself hits the water, it's still hitting land. It'll flash boil millions of galleons of sea water and slam into the ocean bedrock. Now if it's a Pacific Ocean impact, which we think it will be, it'll create a tidal wave 3 miles high, travel at a thousand miles an hour, covering California, and washing up in Denver. Japan's gone, Australia's wiped out. Half the world's population will be incinerated by the heat blast, and the rest will freeze to death from nuclear winter.
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Dan : [on the phone] Yes, Mr President, I understand that completely, but my point is very, very simple. And I think you need to trust me on this, because I know something about it. I guarantee you, if you do this, you kill us all. Yes, sir.
[to Kimsey]
Dan : General, he wants you.
General Kimsey : [takes the phone] Yes, sir. I understand.
[he hangs up]
General Kimsey : The orders are to remote detonate in thirty seconds.
Grace Stamper : [She runs up but is held back by a soldier] You have not told them yet!
[screams]
Grace Stamper : That is my father up there!
Dan : This is one order you shouldn't follow, and you fucking know it!
[to the soldier restraining Grace]
Dan : Let her go! Let her go!
