Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
Douglas Seale: Santa
Photos
Quotes
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Ernest P. Worell : [gesturing to Santa's sack] You better check it out.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Why?
Ernest P. Worell : Call it... Uh, a fifth sense. Call it a flash of intermission, but I just got this feeling deep down in the heart of my bottom.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : I don't think I've quite got the magic for another trip.
Businessman : That's how I feel every time they send me to Pittsburgh.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : [after Ernest has just finished driving suicidally on the freeway and busted a window to rescue one] I take it you really needed a tree?
Ernest P. Worell : Nah, I've already got one at home, but I've got a friend that I think could use one, besides it'd be a shame if the little guy didn't have a home for the holiday.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : It's rare to meet someone with such Christmas spirit.
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Ernest P. Worell : You know, I don't want to insult you being we've just met and all, but you kind of remind me of somebody.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Santa Claus?
Ernest P. Worell : I guess you get that a lot, huh?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Well it's to be expected.
Ernest P. Worell : Because you look like him?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Because I am him.
Ernest P. Worell : Because you am him.
[looks back confusedly]
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Businessman : [first lines, at the airport, a businessman meets Santa believing he's a regular person] First time in Orlando?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Oh, no. I fly in once a year, though I usually come in a different way.
Businessman : Where are you from?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Oh, up north.
Businessman : Me, too. Toronto. What line of work are you in?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Toys, mostly.
Businessman : No fooling. You been in there long?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Longer than you can imagine.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : This is Ernest. I'm Santa Claus.
[odd silence]
Ernest P. Worell : Surprised?
Harmony Star : Uh, no. No, not - not really.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Joe... search your heart. There must be something there to convince you of the truth.
Joe Curruthers : In a way, I wish there was... but I haven't seen anything yet.
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Harmony Star : [returning Santa's stolen toy sack, crying] I'm sorry.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Welcome back, Pamela.
[hugs her]
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : I never doubted you would do the right thing.
Harmony Star : Really?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Well... maybe just a little doubt.
Harmony Star : [laughs] I just started thinking... about you, and Ernest... and just a whole lot of things... and I really got things figured out. I even called my mom.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : She must have been worried about you.
Harmony Star : Yeah... especially after I told her who I was with.
[Santa laughs]
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Harmony Star : [it starts to snow, in spite of the tropical climate] What's going on?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : CHRISTMAS is going on!
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Trust people. It pays off more often that you think.
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Ernest P. Worell : [after getting out of the taxi] That'll be $32.50.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Here you go.
Ernest P. Worell : [notices the money] Hey, uh, this ain't real.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : What?
Ernest P. Worell : This money carries the likeness of one...
[with funny faces]
Ernest P. Worell : "Mr. Funtime".
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Well I don't understand. I don't have much use for currency but I do like to keep some on hand, I just... oh my... last year, a 5 year old boy asked for a Mr. Funtime grocery store, I included a rather large amount of... play money. I suppose I must've gotten the two confused.
Harmony Star : Dum de dum dum.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : The name is Santa Claus!
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Harmony Star : [jumping into Ernest's cab and making him speed away from the restaurant where she skipped out on the bill] You see that guy back there? That's my mean uncle, he makes me work in his restaurant like a slave, he keeps me in the basement where there's rats and filth,and I finally just escaped, so please don't let him get me!
Ernest P. Worell : [John Wayne voice] Well no need to fret, young lady, you're safe with us.
Harmony Star : ...Thanks. By the way, my name's Harmony Star, remember that name, I'm going to be famous someday.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : Oh this is Ernest, I'm Santa Claus.
Ernest P. Worell : Surprised?
Harmony Star : Uh, no, no not, not really.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : ernest good guy not very bright i kept track of him till he was 11 or so he grew up with this guy i think his name was vern.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : I TOOK OVER THE JOB AS SANTA IN 1889 FROM SOME GERman chap and i enjoyed every second of it.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : no officer i have talk to joe currethers. if i dont so many children will disapointed, you have got to let me go.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : im talking about a torch thst must be passed or else the flame flickers and dies ive carried this torch for to many seasons than i should have because i loved it so much but ive taken to writing notes it shouldn't be done that way it cant be done that way it time for someone new its time for you joe.
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Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate' : once upon a time i was known as seth apple gate i guess i am again.