The Long Goodbye (1973)

Elliott Gould: Philip Marlowe

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Philip Marlowe : Nobody cares but me.

  Terry Lennox : Well that's you, Marlowe. You'll never learn, you're a born loser.

  Philip Marlowe : Yeah, I even lost my cat.

• Philip Marlowe : Excuse me, I don't see any Courry Brand cat food here.

  Supermarket clerk : Some what?

  Philip Marlowe : Some Courry Brand cat...

  Supermarket clerk : Could you spell that?

  Philip Marlowe : Courry Brand, C-O-U-R-R...

  Supermarket clerk : Oh, we're all out of that. Why don't you get this. All this shit is the same anyways.

  Philip Marlowe : You don't happen to have a cat by any chance?

  Supermarket clerk : What do I need a cat for, I've got a girl.

  Philip Marlowe : Ha, ha. He's got a girl, I got a cat.

• [Repeated Line] 

  Philip Marlowe : It's okay with me.

• Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : What'll you have?

  Philip Marlowe : What are you drinking?

  Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : What I'm drinking is called Aquavit.

  Philip Marlowe : I'm drinking what you're drinking.

  Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : Well God bless you. I like to hear that. People these days go, "Oh, I want a little of this. Oh, and a little of that and a twist of lemmon." Balls!

• Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : Do you ever think about suicide, Marlboro?

  Philip Marlowe : Me, I don't believe in it.

• Philip Marlowe : Listen Harry, in case you lose me in traffic, this is the address where I'm going. You look great.

  Harry : Thank you.

  Philip Marlowe : I'd straighten your tie a little bit. Harry, I'm proud to have you following me.

• Det. Green : My, my, you are a pretty asshole.

  Philip Marlowe : Yeah, my mother always tells me that.

• Marty Augustine : Your friend was a murderer and a thief.

  Philip Marlowe : That's a lie. I know he didn't kill her.

  Marty Augustine : Let me tell you something else. It's a minor crime, to kill your wife. The major crime is that he stole my money. Your friend stole my money, and the penalty for that is capital punishment.

• Marty Augustine : I didn't have any pubic hair until I was 15 years old.

  Philip Marlowe : Oh yeah, you must have looked like one of the Three Little Pigs.

• Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : I tell you what we're gonna do, Marlboro. You're gonna take that goddamn J.C. Penney tie off and we're gonna have an old fashioned man to man drinking party.

  Philip Marlowe : Well, that's okay but I'm not taking off the tie.

• Dave aka Socrates : [rambling from his prison cell]  "Possession" is what you get in here now. Possession of noses, possession of gonads, possession of life. It's a weird world. Listen, some day, some day, all the pigs are gonna be in here, and the people are gonna be out there.

  Philip Marlowe : You can bet on that. Listen Dave, remember, you're not in here, it's just your body.

• [Augustine has found a $5000 bill in Marlowe's pocket] 

  Marty Augustine : What's that?

  Philip Marlowe : A picture of James Madison.

  Marty Augustine : It's a $5000 bill.

  Philip Marlowe : I know.

  Marty Augustine : Where'd you get this?

  Philip Marlowe : A box of crackerjacks, came as a prize.

• Dr. Verringer : I apologize for this intrusion, Mrs. Wade, but your husband dislikes paying his bills. I'm sorry; in future I must refuse to accept him as a patient.

  Philip Marlowe : Well we don't accept you as a doctor, quack.

• Eileen Wade : Listen, would you like something to eat?

  Philip Marlowe : Yeah, I guess if you've got some cold bologna, mayonnaise and bread I'll hang around for a while.

• Det. Green : Your name Marlowe?

  Philip Marlowe : No, my name is Sidney, uh, Jenkins.

  Det. Green : Come on inside, Marlowe, we want to talk to you.

• Philip Marlowe : Who were the three DiMaggio brothers?

  Terry Lennox : Vince, Dom, and, uh, Joe?

  Philip Marlowe : Joltin' Joe, yeah.

• Detective : Listen - what are you here for, Marlowe?

  Philip Marlowe : [smearing fingerprint ink under his eyes]  Well I'm here 'cause I'm gettin' ready for the big game Saturday. You know, we're playing Notre Dame and I hope I catch a touchdown pass.

• Philip Marlowe : Let me get this straight, now. This is different from some of the times your husband behaves this way but not different from all the times? Is that right?

• Philip Marlowe : Roger Wade. Big writer.

  Eileen Wade : He's a big man too. Six foot five, weighs 220 pounds. Once you've seen his face, you'll never forget it.

  Philip Marlowe : Sounds like some kind of monster.

  Eileen Wade : Only when he drinks. Would you like a drink?

• Philip Marlowe : [Riley is playing Williams and Mercer's "The Long Goodbye" on the piano]  You practicing for the Hit Parade?

  Riley : Gotta learn this goddamn thing... he thinks it'll beef up the lunch trade.

  Philip Marlowe : [surveying the empty bar]  Yeah, I don't see anybody waitin' on line.

  Riley : As cheap as I work, he cannot lose.

• Rutanya Sweet : Thanks a lot, Mr. Marlowe. I'll save you a brownie.

  Philip Marlowe : Thanks, but they hurt my teeth.

• Colony guard : [after Harry has roared through the gate]  Hey, did you see that guy come barrelin' through here?

  Philip Marlowe : It's okay, they're with me.

• Doctor : We had to bring ice from the hotel

  Philip Marlowe : For drinks?

  Doctor : For the body.

• Philip Marlowe : [trying to convince his cat to eat a mixture of cottage cheese, raw egg, and salt after discovering he's out of canned cat food]  Oh, yeah... can't do better than that at Chasen's.

• Philip Marlowe : The Lennoxes, Terry and Sylvia, they used to live up the beach, did you know them?

  Eileen Wade : Very slightly, like one knows most people on the beach.

• Riley : [singing]  There's a long goodbye, And it happens every day, When some passer-by, Invites your eye, To come her way, Even as she smiles a quick hello...

  Philip Marlowe : [on the phone at the piano bar]  Hello. This is Philip Marlowe.

• Philip Marlowe : I tell you, Mrs. Wade, if you think your husband's suicidal, he needs some Freudian analysis or primal scream - or, I need a cigarette myself - but, I'm not qualified for anything like that.

• Philip Marlowe : You put some ice on your bruise and I'll go find your husband.

• Det. Dayton : Are you gainfully employed, Marlowe?

  Philip Marlowe : I don't know.

• Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : You know what I wish you'd do? I wish you'd take that goddamn J.C. Penny tie off and settle down with me and what you and I are gonna do is have a little old-fashioned, man-to-man drinking party.

  Philip Marlowe : That's okay with me, but I'm not gonna take my tie off.

  Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : Alright, you leave your tie on. Now, I"ll tell you what I got. I got champagne, beer, Scotch, bourbon, aquavit, tawny port...

• Philip Marlowe : You motherfucker! You knew it all the time. You don't deserve to be alive, you fuckin' pig!

• Philip Marlowe : Fifty grand. You must run into a lot of luck, Mr. Wade. Most guys lose their undies when they play for those kind of stakes.

• Harry : You know those girls who live next door to you? You know what I think? I think they're a couple of lesbians. That's what I think.

  Philip Marlowe : What makes you say that?

  Harry : Well look at them up there, doing all those contortions together and with no clothes on.

  Philip Marlowe : Oh, they're just doing yoga.

  Harry : What?

  Philip Marlowe : I don't know what it is, but, it's yoga.

• Philip Marlowe : I saw that man who walk into the Pacific Ocean, gave Dr Whatever-his-name-is $5,000 for an alibi so you could keep your job. I'm gonna go and call Ronald Reagan and get you to kick your ass off. You're gonna be selling bus tickets, you son of a bitch.

• Philip Marlowe : Do you know Terry Lennox?

  Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Terry Lennox; but, he's the kind of guy that if I knew him I wouldn't let on I knew him.

• Philip Marlowe : Did you know Sylvia Lennox?

  Roger Wade aka Billy Joe Smith : Sylvia. A beautiful broad.

• Philip Marlowe : Chasing after that car, I got hit by a car.

• Philip Marlowe : So what do you want me to do?

  Marty Augustine : I want you to take off your clothes.

  Philip Marlowe : Well, let me tell you something, I have absolutely nothing to hide either, but I'm not gonna take my clothes off.

  Marty Augustine : I want you to get naked so you can tell me the truth about my money.

  Philip Marlowe : You wanna take your clothes off?

  Marty Augustine : Would you like me to take off my clothes?

  Philip Marlowe : It's okay with me.

  Marty Augustine : Why, it's a pleasure. As a matter of fact, *everybody*, Harry, everybody take off their clothes.

• Philip Marlowe : [after painting his face black, he throws his hands in the air imitating Al Jolson]  Swanee!

• Det. Green : Curry brand cat food Marlowe?

  Philip Marlowe : Yeah, you got any?