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xyphur
Reviews
Moonfall (2022)
Atrociously bad.
What an absolute steaming pile of excrement this is. Don't waste your life watching this 'film'. Your IQ will drop substantially. I'm actually angry at myself now, and will be sitting down to ponder my life's choices that lead me to this point.
The dialogue would've been better if they'd let a slug write it by sliding around on a scrap piece of paper, then piping that mess of slime through Google translate a dozen times.
It is so bad that I will be avoiding all future movies that have any of these actors in them. I don't know what the makers of this have on all these actors, but it must be some seriously juicy stuff that none of them wanted the public to know about - it's the only thing that I can think of that would convince anyone to be involved in a script so mind-numbingly moronic. Either that, or all of these people were so broke that they had no choice.
Horrible. Literally anything is better than this.
If, after reading this review, you still somehow feel the need to watch this spectacle of stupidity for the visuals, please do yourself a favor: Press mute, and leave subtitles OFF. You'll be doing your brain a big favor.
Alien Siege (2018)
Criminally bad.
Even the trailer will give you cancer. I'm not kidding. Don't watch it.
...you'll hate yourself for not heeding my advice. Don't do it!