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Reviews
The Lion King (2019)
A truly wonderful film if you have given up on any joy in life.
If you thaught the origional had to much emotion, to many jokes and disliked the magic, never fear for this movie is for you!
For two hours prepare for a treat for the eyes that's got such good CGI the animals are genuinely emotionless! And what's more, as a special treat, the dialogue has been read so flatly and quickly it won't convey any emotion either! Character quirks, witty one liners, fun catchy (well sang) songs, bah, who needs them, it's all been chucked in the bin! This is the version of the film that's cut out all the kids stuff and (even though you know the story) crowbars in some terribly clunky exposition! And if your worried that the amazing cast ensemble will somehow rescue this, delightful to look at, but dreary re-telling, never fear, I can promise you that you won't even realise you are listening to professionals!
I'm summary, are you are the kind of person who's favourite part of going to the beach is getting sand in their crack? Or perhaps you enjoy a nice hot tub whilst wearing jeans and a bomber jacket? Playing football in sandals? If you can take something truly enjoyable and make it an uncomfortable mess....................
then this my friend is the perfect film for you.
Venom (2018)
A story so safe and predictable it's hardly worth watching.
There's some decent acting, some of the cgi is pretty good and the relationship between Eddie and Venom (Hardy acting with Hardy) has some entertaining moments. There's your three stars. In all other areas this film falls woefully short. In a world where the bar for comic based films is constantly being raised this is a big disappointmen. The storyline manages to be filled with cliché, and be so simple and predictable and yet have huge plot holes. -Charming genius millionaire (conveniently) owns space ships and pharmaceutical company, turns out he's bad. -guy who's down on his luck but still friendly and generous, he's our goody.
- the 'but no one will belive us' moment.
- awww the protagonist.who was bad has changed, he isn't bad!
- ooohhh millionaire bad guy is still bad!
- good guy (alien) vs bad guy (alien)
- good guys win, but for several minutes you think one has died.
Plot holes:
- The whole symbiotic relationship is a bit muddled, they need the perfect host to live, but also a large test tube will do? Also why do they 'eat' the host if they need them to live?
- Why does Riot want Venom to return with him?
- The simbiotes plan to return to their planet and bring back more, why didn't they load the first rocket with more? Why allow the first humans to capture them In the first place? Why not enter the first humans and then load up the first rocket?
There are a number more but you get the idea.
I know it's just a film, and when it comes to comic book and sci-fi stuff you've got to forgive a few leaps of logic, but for me there's to much to forgive in this film.