ryanbramhart3 Reviews

The Ruins (2008)

Not the ruins of a good book

[9/10 · 4 April 2008]

Readers beware...the fates of our 2 American Couples, one Greek, and a German from the book are not intact with the film release of The Ruins. But do not dismay, for the crucial overwhelming feeling of helplessness never waivers.

The unfortunate result of bored college bound kids on vacation leads to an expedition to an ancient Mayan temple and an archaeological dig that seems deserted. No one has actually left. In fact they will stay there forever. Unable to just leave the top of the temple because villagers have set up camp below and will shoot a pistol or an arrow once someone tries to step down, our heroes discover the truth about this place of sacrifice and the vines that cover the temple...

As I stated above, any reader of the novel will notice changes from the get go. Characters simply swap fates. The Greek Demetri in exchange for Mathias the German. Eric for Stacy. Eric for Mathias And the ending is utterly altered to give the ray of hope American audiences crave. But what I usually would have found to be irritating became fresh.

I no longer knew exactly what was going to happen while still having a vague feeling that it wasn't going to be good for anyone. Just seeing it played out on the screen was a treat.

This is a great film for those who don't know about it and those who do. Worth the price of admission... twice.

Doomsday (I) (2008)

A lot of homages but a whole lot of fun....

[9/10 · 14 March 2008]

I didn't get the chance to see Escape from New York in the theaters but I did get to see Escape from L.A. I loved them both. And I loved Doomsday even more. It is a movie that shows you can take the best elements from different sci-fi action movies and blender them up into a really fun frothy bloody good time.

Rhona Mitra is excellent as the modern Snake Plissken- Eden Sinclair. And she fights the good fight throughout the film. With swords and axes. And kudos to director Neil Marshall for never making her a sex object in her battles. She just kicks butt.

She ventures into a Closed off Country looking for a cure to a deadly and disgusting disease. London officials believe there are survivors who may have it. In goes Eden with her team only to find the country has split into two. Those who live in medieval times - complete with castle and sword. And those who live in post Apocalypse - complete with Mohawk and .. oh yeah sword. Either way no one is friendly.

It's all a bit mindless and gory but it is a the most fun I've had in the theater in a long time and the action is gritty. Never resorting to Matrix style shenanigans. Enjoy it on the big screen while you can.

Black Water (2007)

Black Water will get you nervous...

[8/10 · 19 December 2007]

Gore hounds beware...this is not your movie. This little nail bitter has very little blood and guts. Its basically a version of Open Water that is effective and worthwhile. But what sets it apart is that we actually like the three leads (unlike Open Water) who find themselves up a tree when a crocodile flips their fishing boat and munches up their guide. We don't want any harm to come to any of them. SO when they start getting into dangerous situations...we actually care.

Now I like killer animal flicks but I haven't been too impressed with Lake Placid up to Primeval (although I'm still waiting to see Rogue and hoping it is somewhere as good as this one!) but this little bugger did the job and did the job well. It's scares are creative and it only lapses into the run of the mill frantic crying sobbing and arguing for brief stints of realism so I never got annoyed.

I remember reading the true story that inspired this where three guys went fishing and two ended up in a tree while their buddy was killed by the crocodile . But the thing that always impacted me that gets left out from the film was that the crocodile didn't eat up the buddy. No. For hours and hours he swam around the tree and shook the dead body still in his mouth at the friends in the tree. Seeming to stay, if you come down here this is what will happen to you.

Dirt (2007–2008)

Courtney Cox is still Gail Weathers

[8/10 · 3 January 2007]

I loved Dirt, Basically because Courtney got to be the ruthless story hungry b*ch I'd come to love through the Scream Series. And the character of Lucy Spiller is like Gail divorced Dewy in order to run 2 magazines.

Lucy sets up pratfalls for the celebrity community around her. A community she navigates in and out of with an uncommon ease. She also is very aware of her place among them. She runs the PEOPLE magazine rip off called Now - in which she has the power to build a career for stars and starlets with heartwarming pieces on them. But she also runs Drrt the STAR ripoff - that has the ability to break them.

And she's more concerned with the breaking. Using the leverage she has she employs a young talent who made a few bombs and got dropped by the industry to tattle on his friends. And when he does consequences arise.

But what makes Lucy one of the coolest maneaters on television is that she does have a heart albeit, a very small one. Or at least a warm spot for her photographer who's got some heavy duty mental problems. Also she shows the cracks in her tightly glossed veneer after taking a new love interest home and then tasering him the next morning when she thinks he only slept with her to get a foot in the door. All in all, this might be a nice follow up to the Nip/Tuck dark sadonic tone.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Chainsawed Out

[6/10 · 6 October 2006]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre : The Beginning Rated R Review: C-

When watching the Prequel to the 2003 remake I felt like I was actually watching a remake of the the 2003 remake. While The Beginning tries to inject the feeling that we are watching the birth of Leatherface's depravity (and while indeed we do see the actual birth. Note: Don't sit too long in the popcorn stand line or you'll miss it) it feels that we actually are missing the entire point to it. Yes he was adopted by quite an evil family. And yes it is hinted at a life he lived on the outside,taunted by others and maiming animals. But the film never delivers these scenes and bypasses them completely to Leatherface's first chainsaw free kill. The actual back story seems more wasted upon his uncle the sheriff. A job he receives by default in their newly dead town.

As soon as the four protagonists of the film hit the screen- two couples on their way to drop the men off to army boot camp for Vietnam- the beginning only retreads the Remakes territory and nothing groundbreaking comes from it. Although there is some good gore.

We do find out why characters in the remake are missing they're teeth or limbs, but nothing defining. And we are spoon fed similar scenes from the remake including a chase sequence at the slaughterhouse albeit not quite as effective this time around. Blame a weak script. Because the cast is game and willing. Jordana Brewster is a wonderful heroine and the scene where she is about to escape the house but is drawn back in shows that director Johnathan Lieberman can helm the mayhem.

But the mayhem here seems a bit tame. There are few if any actual scares although the tension is ripe. The atmosphere is right. The scene where Jordana leaves a brutal chainsaw event and is emotionally and physically lost is spot on. But then the film gets hampered down by a feeling that we've seen it already.

The infamous dinner scene gets recreated but it actually isn't effective at all. The chainsaw kills are basically one and the same with each victim. And the big downer is that we never feel like we understand why Leatherface dons the mask or becomes the killer. What they add instead is a biker subplot that is uneven and stupid. And the end is actually terrible and inconceivable. I wished I'd loved it. I hope you do.

Heroes (II) (2006–2010)

1 episode and I'm hooked....

[9/10 · 26 September 2006]

I first saw the teaser commercial for Heroes at the end of Medium's last season and started salivating. And now that I've tuned in I'm hooked. The premise of super-humans has been done before and most recently in Mutant X. And I've been around to check these shows out. The misfit one with Courtney Cox was an old favorite. But none of these shows garnished the pure mystery that Heroes had going for it all the way to the end of the pilot. Plus a killer cast should make it a surefire hit.

I've loved Adrian Pasdar since he chewed up the screen in Profit and while he seems to be playing a similar role here, he is balanced by Milo Ventimigilia as his kid brother with a more human heart and dreams he can fly.

But the real scene stealing of the show belongs to the ladies. Ali Larter creates a believable single mother with serious money problems. Her strange gift is actual scary and has yet to have been fleshed out. The sequence where she awakes to find things have gone horribly wrong in her favor are chill inducing.

And on the flip side Hayden Panettiere's discovery of her gift is grueling, bloody, and refreshingly ironic as a modern day Supergirl. All her stunt work in a cheerleader's outfit made me smile. And by the show's end a revelation comes about her family life that made the show even more interesting.

With a painter who creates art that sees into the future and a comedic turn by Masi Oka and his abilities it's hard not to enjoy heroes. It twists and turns in only an hour and keeps you grounded to the characters and the situations they fall into. The previews for upcoming episodes made me actually want more. If your not tuning in on Monday nights, you might be missing something spectacular.

2001 Maniacs (2005)

The South has never been so Bloody fun

[7/10 · 29 March 2006]

I didn't expect too little from a movie about a whole town of cannibals and I wasn't disappointed. this movie has Cult film written all over it. Funny Goofy and totally demented. No one seems like they were having a bad time during the filming. Robert Englund and Lin Shaye stand out as the leaders of a mysteriously little town where city folk are wrangled in by a detour sign and become the guests of honor for the town BBQ.

Loaded with Hillybilly jokes and covered in blood, 2001 Maniacs is a joyous little remake that never takes any of the sick nasty things it touches on too seriously therefore letting the audience snicker and wince all within moments. So obviously its good for repeat viewing.I liked film mostly because they all knew it wasn't Hamlet they were performing and even a true horror fan will adore Eli Roth reprising his Cabin Fever role for a cameo. Sorry to break it to Roth but I liked this film better than Fever.

Tamara (2005)

B movie done well

[7/10 · 29 March 2006]

Tamara is a descent movie, above the b-movie straight to DVD crap unloaded these days. It mostly rises above because of its lead actress and some splashy death sequences that contain great FX.

The story is about the poor unpopular title character who becomes the number one target for humiliation when a newspaper article she wrote attacks the jocks of the school.When the prank to get her back goes wrong, Tamara ends up dead and the teens who did it bury her body in the usual 'I know what you did last summer' fashion. But Tamara is a witch. And the last spell she cast before her death gives her the ability to return from the dead as a sexy vixen out for revenge.

Tamara does tread some usual clichés along the way. But it touches more on films like The Crush and I Know.. than Carrie. Really, the only bad acting comes from the pair of villains in the film who seem to think that by calling Tamara A LOSER over and over again they come off as jerks when they come off as lame brains.

But the real magic in the film comes from the smaller scenes like when Tamara's decomposing or just the flashes when she overpowers her victims with just the touch of her hand. The effects are great. And they even switch up who the survivors are.

My final complaint is that the film steals the thunder of Tamara's sexy transformation by opening the film where she's already sexy in a dream sequence. But the film is still an enjoyable romp.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Aja does good on a remake

[10/10 · 13 March 2006]

Imagine if the re-makers of THE FOG and When a Stranger Calls had kept the story basically the same but added things that made it more intense instead of more dull. Things that kept the spirit alive but still kept the viewer on the edge of their seat. The French man does it. And does it well. Of course, One certainly does miss the setting of the mother's coarpse on fire as a diversion scene (perhaps for the pure shock value of it) but all the other aspects were still intact. Aja was a fan of the original like Peter Jackson was of Kong.

Now if only more directors respected the materials they were remaking, could a whole new generation be as satisfied with the remakes as audiences had been with the original releases. Actually, if the new directors were able to pull this off they could even steal some respect from the original audience. So finally we can understand why there is need for a remake in the first place. Thank you Aja. I loved your other work, I loved this, I can't wait to see how you scare me next.