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tolta
Reviews
Dark Prism (2015)
Just, no.
Terrible. There's the summary. It was horribly acted, and the plot was along the same lines. There were no scares, and trust me the nudity is not something you want. Unless you like middle aged topless hippie chicks. (insert shudder here) The 'narriator' i guess is what he would be called sat there and read from the script during the movie. Come on guys, you can watch his eyes to follow along the page... and seriously, read through it once before it goes on film, he looked like a 3rd grader trying to read the Grapes of Wrath. The second part (of 3) is very confusing. I would say straight up blasphemy, but since you can't understand what is going on, i will just chalk it up to a junior high attempt at recording something they would refer to as a 'movie'. The only redeeming quality of the movie was the 4 seconds of Stephanie Domini in a bra. That's it, really. The rest is junk.
Legend Has It (2009)
What the....
You know how a movie will go when they introduce the cast at 20 mins in, and by 24 mins in you want them all to get found by the monster. Typical monster movie plot with a bunch of (not) hot 20-somethings going to a haunted house to film a movie. Yup, a movie about making a movie, again. Best part? They go to special effects class at the beginning of the movie. Next time the guys in charge of the movie shouldn't ditch the class. There was attempted eye-candy, and while the attempt was appreciated, it was not worth the 95 mins wasted. Most of the kills are around 4-5 seconds long, and most of the bodies are not seen after, just bloody walls and floors. Could have done better with the syrup-blood, it was obvious, and we will not mention the lack of acting ability. In short: blood and quasi-gore, "ehhhh" nudity, a pair of confusing and unenthusiastic sex scenes, and a whole lot of under-yet-over acting. Seriously, tell the dark haired girl to give up now.
Contagio (2009)
Backyard Production
Slow. Just slow. The "action" is a step below middle school plays and the "acting" is non-existent. The gore is not, except for the very end, and that is just laughable. Save yourself time, watch the last 5 mins and when you are done laughing you will understand how the rest of the movie went. Trust me, skipping to the end will only benefit you.