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Reviews
Aliens & Demons: Evidence of an Unseen Realm (2017)
Great Fan Fiction
I don't believe anything that the movie describes; but, I love the mash up. Are aliens really demons, or other spiritual beings? Reminds me of a comic crossover event, like, The Punisher & Batman comics from the 90s-two different worlds colliding.
The production quality is impressive. Dr. Heiser seems likable enough-and he successfully dismantles the absurd neo-religious mumbo jumbo you find amongst some ufologists. The abductee phenomena is interestingly a lot like Satanic ritual abuse: fiction. Usually, at the heart is a regression "therapist" selling pseudoscience and sensationalism. The FBI even concluded there was no systematic Satanic ritual abuse in the US.
I definitely plan on looking for his book, The Unseen Realm. If he writes with as much sober and straightforwardness as he speaks; I'm sure it will be informative.
Crow (2022)
Would've made a great short
I'm never as critical of fan films as I am studio films. Obviously, the love is there; and it immediately earns my respect. I understand the limitations involved.
I just had difficulty connecting with the characters. The villains seemed like dudes I've been in fights with-not even as menacing as Tara Reid in Wicked Prayer. Just some drunk assholes. In previous installments the hero "righting their wrongs " personally tended to impact others. Not here.
I dig the cosmology in this. I also do like how they skipped over the whole "Crow got hurt, so hero is hurt" trope. I sure as heck gave the film a like and subscribe on YouTube.
Rednecks + Culchies (2016)
Independent Contracting
Admittedly, I'm unfamiliar with construction crews in countries outside the US-but, ol' boy who made this should understand he's employing the nearly impoverished to do grunt work in a society without a social safety net. Of course we're desperate people; we're one illness, or one missed paycheck from homelessness or death.
This isn't confined to construction, either. You'll find it in most restaurants, retail shops, etc. Criticizing those people as a business owner, if done constructively, could be useful. But, it doesn't seem like a useful angle in the film. It comes across as whiny. The filmmaker seems to imagine he's a messianic figure, with his lackey as some pseudo-Paul?
It's good insight. But certainly not in the way the filmmaker intended. Can you imagine bragging about helping someone see their kid for Christmas, imagining yourself as a paragon of kindness; then you make a movie where you expose them as a thief with a substance abuse problem?
The ethics of the businessman are on display for all potential customers. Irish Construction proudly puts its stamp on this type of exploitation.
A Day to Die (2022)
It was okay.
There were the plots to six different movies in this one film. The actors didn't even necessarily seem like they were under the impression they were filming the same movie.
There were hostages, blackmail, police corruption, heists, a pregnant lady, kidnapping, self sacrifice, unlikely alliances, travels to Mexico, and anonymous charity involved in the plot.
I like the actors though. They're pretty cool.
Resident Evil: Welcome to New Raccoon City (2022)
What?
Why would they do this? This is the most aggressively mediocre thing I've seen. Lance Reddick is too good for whatever this is...who decided Resident Evil was a high school drama about entitled teenagers?
I picked the wrong day to quit huffing glue, or something. I can't imagine why Netflix ever pulled the trigger on this one.
The Requin (2022)
Serviceable
Will this be a landmark of cinema? Nah.
Was it better than watching reruns of Unsolved Mysteries with OG Robert Stack? Also nah.
Does it deserve less than three stars? Again, nah. There's shark. People get nommed on. If you pretend it's a sequel to Clueless; it's even more fun.
A Haunting at the Monte Vista (2021)
"How much did you charge for a good time?"
This movie has convinced me that literally everyone should make their own film. I'm not really sure that it serves any other purpose.
I gave it a high rating because I'm drunk and cognitive dissonance is preventing me from registering that I watched it in its entirety. The food they stopped to get looked pretty good too.
Weird Tales #1 Death Valley's Ancient Underground (2007)
Your Awkward Social Studies Teacher's Favorite Topic
I went into this expecting a low budget, fantastical story to keep on in the background while I fooled around on the internet. However, I found an obvious work of consideration-and bare bones talent.
I plan on continuing with the series. It's great to imagine as a live action podcast. I would definitely view, if you're into obscure history.
Devil Djinn (2021)
Wishmaster V: Beyond the Budget's Licensing Ability
I remember some weird kid in a mask running around and talking to a variety of random people. I think there was a wrestling subplot? Or maybe a dog that wished its parents back to life, so that it can yell at a pregnant lady?
Things did happen. I assume sequentially. This is a movie.
2025: The World Enslaved by a Virus (2021)
The Best Cereal Eating Scene
Let's be honest: you came for the soundtrack on this banger. If these tunes don't draw you in; you're either mercifully deaf, or you have no facilities to experience pure existential terror.
There is also a very pretty woman who quietly eats cereal. I assume the Devil opposes the intake of fibrous grains. Like a respectable Christian lady, she says "fie on you Satan," and eats her generic corn flakes.
I love the gritty realism and how it contrasts with the natural beauty of the performer.
Darwin (2011)
Feels Like Home
This was an excellent documentary about a beautiful little town. Darwin is a town of less than forty people; who, for various reasons, find themselves living in Death Valley.
Much like the circumstances that led them to their home, the people are incredibly fascinating. Everything municipal becomes a matter of interest: water rights, mail, imminent domain, and burials take a completely new angle when viewed from the eyes of a citizen of Darwin.
I hope this place is still around. Towns like Darwin are one of the last true expressions of Americanism left.
Spring Break Massacre (2008)
The Anti-Film
I'm glad Reggie Bannister and Linnea Quigley are still finding work. They're fan favorites, and it's usually a real treat to see them.
Unfortunately not the case in this movie. I don't mean to come across as conspiratorial-but, I'm guessing that whoever made this did so in an effort to ruin cinema in its entirety for anyone unlucky enough to view it. There's a very palpable hatred for every facet of storytelling and cinematography built into this project; and, it can't be an accident. The writer and director must despise their audience in a very visceral and reflexive way to have followed through with this.
If I believed it was just a poorly made movie, I wouldn't be so rough on it. I have a special place in my heart for poorly made films. No, there's just outright malice and the intent to do harm jam packed into every second of this movie.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
#ACAB: From the Book of Saw
I share the sentiment of late '80s era NWA when it comes to the police. If you're a cop-check out their discography.
This was surprisingly dialogue driven with more character development than mindless gore. I wasn't upset about it either. Admittedly, the deaths are somewhat amateurish in feel. That could just be good writing though: if it's your killer's first game, they're not exactly going to be as complex as the previous entries.
I miss Tobin Bell's gravelly voice and methodical delivery. I also miss Costas Mandylor's brutal persona and almost slasher style physical presence-the new direction is interesting. I consider this about on par with the earlier "Jigsaw."
The Warp (2013)
Alex Jones + Head Injury + Aderrall Binge
Things occurred in this movie. People are recognizable occasionally.
It was definitely about the paranormal. The positive stars were for the audacity of whatever producer read the screenplay and thought to themselves "why not?" That kind of audacity deserves some accolades.
And remember; "it was construction."
Crispy's Curse (2017)
Goofy Fun
I went into this with very low expectations. The humor was quirky, the deaths were done relatively well with practical effects, and the characters become increasingly charming as the movie goes on.
I'd like to see a film where. The same characters are reunited to combat another strange situation or villain!
Ascent to Hell (2014)
Next Level Workaholic
There's spoilers here.
Does the villain really set in motion an elaborate plan to get out of retirement?
I'm pretty sure the ghost kills multiple people after arranging a real estate deal-just so they can possess their own granddaughter and open a sweat shop in Pakistan.
My positive stars are inspired by the audacity of the payoff.
Quest of fear (2018)
Fun Russian Flick
Honestly, I kinda just threw this on expecting very little but a distraction to have on while I moved around the house-but, eventually, I just sat down and started paying attention to it.
It is obviously an indie film. The effects are sufficient, but strained. It has a pretty wicked soundtrack that it's not afraid to show off, too. The acting was a little clunky and the subtitles left something to be desired-or it could just be the loss of context.
If you go into it with all this in mind, I bet you enjoy it. If these kind of movies are your thing.
Age of Deceit: Fallen Angels and the New World Order (2012)
Largely Recycled
I dig these weird apocalyptic cult style conspiracy theory films.
Y'know, "boo there were fallen angels who started a club at Yale University to mix chicken DNA with human DNA for their child pizza sex party " kinda nonsense? They're funny and usually help kill some time.
This one just recycled a lot of talking points from other sources and mushed it over a PowerPoint presentation. It's rather sad, really.
Four Blood Moons (2015)
Clown Car
Did these "biblical scholars" not catch the part of the Bible that condemned astrology? It'sa form of witchcraft, and we all know what the Bible prescribes for witches.
This is the most Jingoistic, Antichristian documentary I've seen in a long time.
In Bright Axiom (2019)
Clever
Essentially, a group of performance artists, social misfits, magicians, and tricksters got together to form a aesthetic support group.
Everything from the introduction to the project, to it's unfortunate demise seemed to be heavily influenced by key figures in the group. As oft happens, money became a concern.
I hope everything works out for them. Interesting film.
Revival of Evil (1980)
Hilarious
This is some quality comedy. The dead-pan seriousness makes it worth a watch. It's instructional, in that you can learn the Satanic dangers surrounding occult musicians like Jimmy Page and Bob Marley.
I can only hope Christian films from my era are as entertaining forty years from now.
Scientology: The Science of Truth or the Art of Deception? (2009)
Inaccurate
I love watching these anti-Scientology documentaries because they're so predictable, so familiar.
Everyone is like, "L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology are basically Nazis." And then Scientology doesn't stage a putsch. They simultaneously claim they're oppositional to other spiritual beliefs; and mention they realized it at an ecumenical convention hosted by the Church of Scientology.
Hilarious. And fictional.
The Great Deceiver (2017)
Michael Newman as Michael Newman
I've been watching a bunch of Christian documentaries. They're vaguely entertaining background noise; and some of them are so riddled with melodrama that they can be downright hilarious.
Sadly, this is more for a Bible study or something. There's not even really any cool stories about the devil. The film is set up in sessions, I imagine to allow for discussion or something.
Technically this is a film. Just not much in the way of entertainment, and pretty much normal Christian nonsense.
The Gospel of the Antichrist: Exposed (1994)
Shirley MacLaine is Evil
I love watching modern evangelical documentaries. This one is very concerned about moral relativism, the New Age movement, and Shirley MacLaine's heartless battle against Jesus Christ.
Al Gore is also a very subtle environmentalist cult leader who belongs to the Council of Foreign Relations.
Definitely worth a watch. And keep your eye on Shirley MacLaine.
Big Top Evil (2019)
Fun for the Whole Family
I've been blazing through horror films (because people in my country are getting sick, or something). It's gross.
Anyway, having screened hundreds of hours of movies created on a shoestring budget-I put this in the camp of the entertaining. Occasionally, it feels like an homage to an homage; but I still had fun with it.
Worth viewing if you're willing to go down the road less traveled.