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redfieldlane
Reviews
Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024)
See if this only if you hate your children.
I'm still baffled that this was the most crowded screening I've been to this year. Why would people decide to take their kids to see this?. Do they not love them?.
It's visually so uninspired, so dull except for purple. It feels so amateur in the performances especially from Zoey Dechanel who seems to be asking "Why am I here" the entire movie?. She delivers this exact same role as the straight woman to the man child much better in Elf. Speaking of man children: Zachary Levi, please grow up out of your whole big kid persona from Shazam since that seems to be the only well received live action movie you've ever been in. It's time to do something else with your career that isn't endorsing Robert F Kennedy's weirdo cruise.
Dear Evan Hansen (2021)
Was it really that bad?
I'm going in blind. I know the basic concept of the musical and two songs from the musical. I'm familiar with Ben Platt from The Netflix series "The Politician" and "Pitch Perfect". I don't understand the hate. Like Ben looks pretty old, I think it's because he done a weird diet and had some makeup done to look 17 when he really should have just stayed the same (I can allow people to look older in high school, it's film, look at Glee). But no one other than Ben Platt could have done this performance, he understands the mannerisms of Evan and gives an amazing performance (also vocally amazing like in the musical soundtrack). I really like the premise, A Shy Kid lies about knowing the recently dead person. I liked the idea he immediately starts off "not lying" and then goes more or less forced into it cause he's trying to be kind to a clearly grieving mother. The songs are pretty good (bar one which I will mention). I really liked the Sincerely, Me song and the way it was done was comedic genius. The movie does drag by the time we get to Juilanne Moore's song but it picks up immediately after with Connor's song (was in tears). My complaints as just length wise. The rest was just a really good teen movie about mental health.
420 Awards - 2nd Annual Event (2020)
Where's the reviews!
I want another one. Now. This is the only award show to honour Cats 2019 as the masterpiece it is!!!!
Gun Self-Defense for Women (2016)
DEREK SAVAGE FIGHTS FOR FEMINISM!
Seriously what is this movie. I paid to watch this. Why?. Cause it would hopefully fund this guy's next delusion. Derek Savage is an artist of god like proportions. Tommy Wiesau is a mere mortal and we are all ants. This is the culmination of the work of Derek Savage after his success in Cool Cat Saves The / Kids / Superhero. He previously has done nudity in play girl and PSAs for kids. So he decided to combine them both and Make a PSA for Adult Women and act like he's someone to be wanted. I don't know why fighting fire with fire helps. I'm not American. Yes I'm British and paid to watch this!.
Summer Night (2019)
Love actually for Horny Teens
It's a bunch of cliches stitched together in a ensemble piece with a bunch of actors you've seen in other things.
Also this movie has Ella Hunt (who I Love) and Victoria justice (who I also love). And they don't share a scene. Like missed opportunity!
Blinded by the Light (2019)
I don't remember what happened
For starters I have no idea who Bruce Springsteen before watching this. I went in blind. So the 80's stuff came as a surprise.
Bascially to sum it up. A Muslim guy listens to Bruce Springsteen and it solves all his problems and stuff happens. Haley Atwell is in it, and I think she was an English teacher. There was a scene where The Main Character's family are attacked at a Anti-Muslim march. To be honest those are the bits I remember, those scenes were really well directed and showed how violent the 80's where. The rest was Bruce Springsteen lyric videos and just meh!.
Cool Cat Kids Superhero (2018)
THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!
Simply Art. Oscar Oscar Oscar. But the Oscars are run by hacks and Disney who only want there films to win. 420 Award then. Deep Deep Movie with a beautiful plot!.
After (2019)
A Movie for Deep Intellectuals
This Movie is, What Can I Say.
An Oscar Worthy Masterpiece directed by Jenny Gage (the greatest director of all time) and starring Future Oscar Winners, Hannah Baker's Sister and Young Voldemort. Never has a movie been so deep and so well written and directed. The Dialogue is beautiful and can only be understood by true intellectuals like myself. The Chemistry between the Two Leads is the GREATEST THING EVER PUT TO SCREEN. The Two have so much chemistry you Just want them to go at it every 2 seconds to a beautiful pop song. Did I tell you this movie has songs. The GREATEST Songs ever put to cinema. You got Halsey, Selena, Alessia, Freya (do I need to say their second names). Who cares you would know if you were a DEEP INTELLECTUAL. Can I go back to the actors. Beautiful 10/10 from the Guy one. His English accent is so beautiful and him being English is never forced in or feel stereotypical. It's beautiful. I just realised I haven't talked about the plot. The plot is so deep that only true intellectuals will understand. A Good Girl needs Bad Boy and they bang. Also a University. And Pop Songs. Did I tell you this is based on Harry Styles fan fiction, The greatest media of all time, which was made into a book series which is not as good as this movie. This has Hannah Baker's sister in it and she's even better than her sister. (Katherine Langford who?, Josephine Langford is where it's at. #joesphinelangfordfor13RWseason4). I mean Joesphine needs an Oscar for this movie, she is just as pretty as the cinematography which is the greatest of all time. The shots are so beautiful and deep and for intellectuals that understand true art!. There's like one bad thing about the movie and that is #mollyistheworst and #noahdidntdeservetessa. 10/10.
This movie isn't for teenagers, it's for deep intellectuals who understand cinema like me and the many fans of this movie. #criticsdontunderstandcinema
Left Behind (2014)
GREAT MOVIE
Wow, I am shocked. This Movie is amazing, It really is the best thing I have ever watched. Nicholas Cage gives an Oscar-Worthy Performance in this. Only the Academy decided No. No Nomination. This movie, the plot is so good. All Evil People finally get their punishment. Life. and the rest. Death. I know so good. Nicholas Cage plays Rayford Steele, A Pilot. Who does the worst thing ever. Flirts with another girl. That results in. ((SPOILERS)). Him getting left behind and navigating a plane in this dystopian world. There are also some other important characters, like this Pastor who doesn't believe in god and A Guy who talks about Area 51 developing. stuff. So good, all are so important to the plot. What did you expect Worse. THIS MOVIE, I have no words. Oh wait. GIVE THIS MOVIE A SEQUEL.
P.S: Only Watch this movie if you like Christain Propaganda or a heavily drunk