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raphael_cristian
Reviews
Little Joe (2019)
Snooze fest
Interesting idea, big disappointment.
MAJOR SPOILER ALERT. Although you might as well not watch the movie and save 2 hours of your life.
The premise of the story is a plant has the ability of controlling people by infecting them with its pollen. The main character takes one of those plants at home, yet she is the very last one to be infected. How in the name of Kalashnikov is that possible? Each and everyone of her coworkers gets infected, despite the fact that most of them don't work with those particular plants and are also wearing masks. But the one character that has a plant at home and is not protected in any way is also the last one to be infected.
The movie is quite slow and has a ton of flaws, but nothing is as bad as the so-called music. Teiji Ito, MAY YOU BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! That was not music, that was noise. Extremely obnoxious one. When some degenerate "composes" some garbage and then finds an idiot willing to produce that thrash and put it on the market, there is a very simple solution to the problem. One just doesn't listen to it. But when the same degenerate infests a movie with his crap, like a flower infests people with its pollen, there's no escape.
Die Frau von früher (2013)
Jewish Humor is just like German Humor, plus the Humor
Ok, this is not a comedy, but I've been watching a bunch of German movies on ARTE recently and my conclusion is: Germans, stop trying to make comedies, YOU SUCK AT IT.
When they are not trying to be funny, Germans are not bad. But this particular movie was a worthless piece of crap. The main character is slowly revealed to be a complete a$$hole. He has a teenage son who, what a surprise, is also a complete a$$hole and a wife who is either a masochist or an idiot, or maybe both.
And then there's the psycho bitch who comes 24 years later to claim her promise of eternal love.
I can't say I want my money back, because I watched it for free on ARTE. I just wish more people ended up dead. Like the director and whoever decided to put this garbage on air.
Crush (2013)
Worthless piece of crap
Incredibly stupid movie. Terrible acting. Horrendous dialogue. This Lucas Till is in X-Men? How did this imbecile get a part in X-Men? Half of his time in this poor excuse of a movie he's topless. Unfortunately none of the girls are.
Now that I'm looking at the poster of the movie, I realize that it is in itself a huge spoiler. These people are incredible idiots. If you are masochistic enough to want to watch this garbage don't look at the poster. It gives away the twist at the end. Which is a bit surprising, but it doesn't save this shite.
The worst part is that teenagers nowadays do behave like these crap-for-brains. That's really frightening.