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vonschmeel
Reviews
Day of the Dead (2021)
Scooby doo meets Day Z
It started well, episode 1 was ok...then it went downhill really quick. They seem to have tried for comedy and instead they ended up making a juvenile kids story. Weirdly it has amazing effects and gore, but the script amd plot are diabolical and so increasingly infantile with the 1 liners all the time. Its painfull to watch, i made it to ep6 but my partner said shed leave me if we watched any more...they had a budget here and truly screwed up.
I could have gone further were it not for the awful attempts at comedy the poor actors were instructed to make. The gore and story dont match at all and sometimes its just awkward.
There there are the traditional poor choices the characters make every episode which gets tiring and predicable. Z nation is leagues above this.
Resident Evil (2022)
even zombies got PC now
If even resident evil can go pollical and become activist then we are nearing the end times and rapture. The main characters are vegan and wanna save rabbits from umbrella testing!?. They cheaped out on the make up and cgi effects too. Yeah, you have been warned this is not resident evil, its Hollywood 2022 and we know what that means..
gets 3 stars cos Lance is always great in everything, im gutted this series went the direction it did as it could have been a winner with better writers on the case.
There are lots of modern clichés and tropes as well but ultimately its a right on family drama in a dystopian future, with very few zombies here and there...
so now i need to prepare for final Armageddon and build a bunker.
The Voyeurs (2021)
Finally a GREAT new movie
It had to happen, i knew it could, its here, a great dark new movie that isnt just alright to watch but is excellent.
Yes you need subs cos that bloke mumbles but my god what a great story, and the twists!, job well done.
Now you are going to need snax for this one, this should be a movie that requires FULL attention by all in the room.
The only way it could have been better is if aliens landed and they were nazi zombies.
Things you will need:
1) Popcorn
2) Chocolate
3) Drinks
4) Corn dogs /Burgers
5) Attention span
6) Subtitles.
The Forever Purge (2021)
It really IS THAT BAD
The purge is no longer about purging but is purely focussed ion American white supremacy syndrome. The last movie was awful and this goes even even further into democrat party CRT mania, at the expense of being the purge movies anymore. I had to switch it off after 1 hour. This franchise is made for Americans only now, anyone else will be put off by the EXTREME level of stereotyping and totally awful script and directing.
Settlers (2021)
what a waste of time and effort
They could have attempted something better than this long slow and awkward drama but they didnt know where to go.
Save yourself some money and stare at a box of sand for 90 mins,. Same thing.
The Open House (2018)
They should never work again
So its a murder story and everyone dies...but you get no explanation why or who is doing it..and then it just ends...save your time and watch something else...
She Dies Tomorrow (2020)
Just appalling
So bad it ruined Friday and my fiance nearly backed out of marrying me. Whoever produced this story should go straight to death row. Its art house garbage of the highest order im single now....thanks
Swallow (2019)
Loads of Fake Reviews Warning
This film is dull from start to finish, then it just ends. there is no real plot at all. its miserable, you have been warned
Uncut Gems (2019)
Truly rubbish
I had to switch this off after 20 minutes its awful. Sandler should stick to comedies. 5 people mumble at the same time and this is dialogue.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
DO NOT WATCH
This is pure rubbish. The first one was a 5 at best but this one just sucks. The script and plot are awful and jesse is flat out annoying now, there are no good points here. Tired and lame jokes all over the place...you have been warned
High Life (2018)
its rubbish
Boring and goes nowhere, then ends....what a waste of everything
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
The guy who said this was best in series is lying
Fake reviews warning. This movie sucks so bad the whole series should end. It can't have spoilers because the script plot and acting are totally infantile and predictable
This film should never have been made and you deserve better than to watch it.
Monster Party (2018)
great horror movie
Just watch it, its a brilliant movie about 3 burglars trying to rob a party, held by serial killers. it has a great cast and story it is well worth checking out.
ignore those fools who gave this 1 star!?
these people should be banned from reviewing anything other than Disney movies...
Marrowbone (2017)
Warning Really Boring Alert - fake horror/thriller
This is like a kids movie, imagine famous 5 but less exiting and utterly dull and long.
Its like the bbc tried to make horror and made a kids drama instead.
Switched off after 110 mins, there was another 40 mins to go but i had to save myself and Wednesday evening.
Jigsaw (2017)
Just Watch it and ignore negative reviews
Its good, and does the best it can in 2017 considering everything else has already been "sawn" This move saved a dreadful sunday night after i had been exposed to "The Beyond" 2017 and had some good saw moments.
There are numerous saw anoraks out there down voting like it was open season so just ignore them and watch a good horror movie. Nothing will ever top the original but this is definitely entertaining and stays true to its roots.
that means people get disemboweled.
The Beyond (2017)
fake "horror" movie - i have been robbed
What a complete turd. this isnt a horror movie its a docu drama with bbc level effects thats like a realy bad discovery channel movie. its so cringy i feel like i have been robbed. dont even bother watching it for free, whoever made this should be stripped of their credentials and forbidden from ever being near a movie set again.
Better Watch Out (2016)
i had to switch it off
So bad i could only make it half way through. never trust a movie rating on imdb, this is really a kids movie and is total juvenile junk all the way through.
Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017)
complete rubbish - run away from it
I built this account just to warn people how bad this film is. save yourselves and dont watch it, its the worst low budget everything under the sun including acting. a film by fans for fans,of themselves...
it should be a crime to use "day of the dead" for garbage like this
Romero is rolling in his grave right now