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ernestosuarez
Reviews
Sweet Girl (2021)
Oh boy!
Well most of the other reviews have already mentioned why this is such a terrible movie so I don't have much to write that hasn't already been written, except for one thing I haven't seen mentioned that describes how dumb this movie is. There is a part in the movie where Jason Momoa's character finds the pharma guy and proceeds to try to kill him. Keep in mind he had promised the guy (on a phone call filmed for live TV) he would find and kill him. Momoa's wife died of cancer apparently because pharma guy pulled an experimental drug off the market. Anyway, Momoa finds this guy in a bathroom at a hitel or something and tries to kill him. Pharma guys security team decide to do what security teams are suposed to do and protect their man from a murderous maniac. During the process of trying to save the life of Pharma guy one of the security guys gets shot in the head by Momoa. Momoa was fighting with one of the other guys and started wrestling for the gun and the gun went off killing the security guard. Well in a follow up scene we are told Momoa is inmocent because he was just trying to defend himself! Really? So we are supposed to believe that a person who tries to murder an innocent person (the pharma guy hadnt done anything wrong up to this point) and a security team tries to defend their client, THEY are in the wrong? Was the security team supposed to have just stood by and watched? The later twist in the movie doesn't do anything to help this scene either. Momoa without questions is the bad guy in this one. He killed someones son, father, friend for doing what they were legally and morally supposed to do! The security team had no idea who he was other than a murderous lunatic trying to kill their client! This happened fairly early in the movie and sets the tone for the stupidity that is to come.
Big House (2020)
Worst movie of all time and it isn't close
Awful, just awful. Not sure whats worse, the acting, story, or camera work. This movie is what you get when a bunch of people that have never acted, wrote a script or filmed a movie are just sitting around and say "You know what would be cool? If we made a movie!" I will say this, its the worst editing and camera work I have ever seen in a "movie"! Don't get me started on the dialogue and script. It's like they were told to just say something, anything...try ro sound deep! The crazy part is that this debacle won a couple of awards aparently! You gotta love the opening scene and its oscar winning camera work. A car pulls up to a house in a random neighborhood and parks the car. The scene is shot from what seems like the house next door. It has the feel like someone is filming them within the movie. Nope! We get to watch at the group of four pull their luggage from the trunk of the car....but there is a massive tree branche blocking nearly the entire scene so you are basically watching nothing. Want to laugh and cringe at the same time? Watch the scene where one of the guys has to listen to his friends having sex! Lol...it is like they told the actors to just make alot of loud sounds and yell some words to show how much you are enjoying sex! It is soooo awful! We do get some words of wisdom from one of the characters (who for some reason thinks the first thing he has to when he gets there is shave) when he explains that jealous people are just people that want to be cheated on! Deep stuff! I keep refering to the people in the movie as "character/s" because i can't remember any names. I highly doubt there was a script because there is a very serious feel that they are just saying things as they pop into their heads and spoiler alert, they are terrible at improvision. I would explain the ot if i understood it. About 35 minutes in we get a 30 second shot of water dripping from something...i have no idea what that thing is. The audio...oh the audio! There are sequences where its impossible to make out what they are saying. The whispering in this movie...its half the dialogue and you can't understand a word of what they are sayin! I highly reccomend watching with a lip reader! The editing....after the 30 second unknown water drip it cuts staight to a sink and water faucet and no its not pouring or dripping any water. There is a scene in the last five minutes that is just two characters sitting in a car where for the first two minutes and 10 seconds there is only one short line of dialogue, you get to just look at them looking ahead the entire time. The background sound affects are quite irtitating, its like they are just tapping sticks on random objects. There is a scene where two sets of dialogues in two different rooms are being shown at the exact same time. You got one room people counting Mississippis for some reason while two other people in a different room are trying to have a low talking conversation....i am not a movie making expert but having dialogue being spoke above other dialogue isn't the wisest choice! This movie is literally an example of everything you shouldn't do when making a movie. There ONLY positive thing about this was the smoke show in the glasses! She is the only reason I didn't turn this trainwreck off! The ending, its like they just ran out of memory on whatever they were recording with and said "f#@k it, we will just end it there". Its not one of those cool ambiguos "Inception" type endings either. Its almost as if there were another 15 minutes to the ending that they forgot to edit in before they released the movie! This movie is so bad that comparing this to other terrible movies is an insult to those movies. This movie makes Manos Hands of Fate look like Citizen Kane! Yes...it is that bad! A 1 is about 100 times to high of a rating for this movie! I could write 100,000 words about all the awfulness of this movie but I think I have made my pount!
John and the Hole (2021)
What?
Let me first make an admission. The preview trailer killed this one for me. I couldn't convince myself to watch it after seeing a 90lb (give or take) kid moving adult dead bodies around. Sorry, never gonna happen...not even in the realm of realistic. I am 5'10" 200lbs and i could barely move my blacked out, passed out friends to another room let alone downstairs and accross a huge lawn without being completely exhausted. Plus, do you know how difficult it is to move a completely limp human regardless of how much they way...100 to 200lbs with no center of gravity...nope a tiny 13 year old is not gonna even come close to being able to do it. The kid looks like he would have trouble bench pressing a pencil and I am already supposed to believe he is able to drag around a dead fully limp human. I can suspend belief but that is jumping the shark for a movie like this.
The Guest (2014)
Oh boy...this isn't good!
I watched this movie because I watched a youtube video of hidden gems on Netflix then saw the high ratings! How it got those ratings I have no clue! There are so many plot holes in this movie! The movie starts with a lot of potential then just completely falls apart. My review will contsin spoilers, so if you are planning to watch it, this would be a good time to stop reading.
The acting in this movie is B material with a couple recognizable faces probably added to give some credibility to the movie. The plot is the whole stranger shows up and is not the good guy people think he is. One of the biggest problems I had with this movie is the characters action made no sense and wouldn't be how someone would reasonably act! For instance, David (the titles guest) shows up at the door of the Peterson's home where Laura (mama Peterson) answers and lets him in. We find out he served in the military with Laura's son and was with him when he was killed in action. So what does mama do? She invites him to stay the night in her dead sons room which, by the looks of it, never changed after her son left for the military! Really? The Leland (dad) comes home and initially has a problem with him there but has a beer and he is ok with it. Keep in mind that this is a good looking man he doesn't know and Dad is comepletely fine with it despite having a 20 yr old daughter (Anna) living there and of course his wife. Ya...not happening, yet it did! As the movie progresses we get to see David isn't who everyone thinks he is. After initially helping out the family, he helps Luke (the son) with his bullies David decides he needs to buy a gun. We get to watch a scene where he meets a gun dealer, decides he wants all the dealers weapons. Instead of buying them (the movie hints that this guy has alot of cash) he kills the dealer and his friend for no apparent reason. Why? Niether of these guys knew anything about his "secret" and he had the cash to buy them all. Why murder them and draw unwanted police attention. In another part of the movie we find out he murdered Dad's boss and his bosses wife to help Dad het a promotion. Of course he made it look like a suicide so nobody is the wiser. Anna decides somethings up with David so she does some snooping and finds out David died in a fire some time back! She then asks her brother (Luke) to do some internet detective work. Then we get a scene where Luke confronts David in a scene that makes no sense at all! He tells David that he knows he killed his the gun dealers and his dads boss and wife. He also knows he isn't who he says he is. Then tells him he is completely fine with it and his secret is safe with him. Keep in mind he just told him his sister asked him to snoop around and she thinks David is a murderer! Nice brother you got there Anna!
A secret government group then visits Mom. She is outside the house hanging laundry and David helps but heads back to the house just as a two big black SUVs arrive. Major Carver questions Mom then David reapears and proceeds to start shooting at the HEAVILY armed men picking them off as he goes. He runs back into the house as Mom stands around in shock. The government guys begin to completely unload there (i think they are AK's, im not good at recognizing firearms) AK-47s on the house, hundreds of rounds are raining down on the house. What does Mom do? Run? Take cover behind one of the SUV's? Nope...she runs into the house the that is being turned into swiss cheese...really! She is eventually killed by Davis who is apparently wearing a bullet deterent because no rounds hit him, except for one that buzzed his leg. David is also a great shot, he hits everything he shoots. Also, the heavily armed government guys aren't wearing any protective gear, no body armour...ya, that makes sense! Eventually David makes it to a vehicle and thats when we get an absolutly ridiculous editing job. As he drives away from the house, David shoots the tires out on both SUVs, you see the tires hit and that side of the vehicle quickly lowes to the ground making them undrivable! Not 5 seconds later we see the Major hop into one of the SUVs, which now appears to have 4 completely intact tires. A shot from above as he is pulling away shows that both of the SUVs tires was untouched! What? The Major gives chase and isn't very far behind, David has about a 5 second lead. The we get a cut where we see Dad on the long dirt road driving home. David is coming the opposite direction. Instead of tring to drive past Dad, David decides to hit him head on. What? The Major is on his tale, why do this. He gets out of the vehicle completely unscathed then walks over to Dad as shoots him! All i could think of during this scene was "where is the Major? He was right behind him and now he is nowhere to be seen". David then goes to the resturaunt where Anna and her friend (who he boned earlier) work. He asks her friend where Anna is and she says she doesn't know. He then shoots and kills her in the middle of the resturaunt in front of the other customers and walks out. As he is leaving he takes out two gernades and tosses them on the floor blowing up the entire building. Why shoot the girl if you were gonna just blow the building up anyway? Ya...that makes sense.
The final scene is at Lukes high schools haunted house where he is working off a punishment. All our characters arrive. David kills the teacher watching Luke, then he kills the Major. David chases Anna and Luke around the maze. Anna and Luke decide to split up. Eventually Anna gets the drop on David when she finds the Majors gun. With a fog machine going Anna shoots David in the shoulder, he falls down and is covered by the fog. When Anna walks to where he dropped, the fog (which is about knee high) parts and David is gone. He then attacks her and pushes her to the ground, how she didn't see him get up and move is beyond me because he was directly in front of her. As he is trying to strangle Anna on the ground Luke stabs him in the back with a knife David gave him earlier. After getting stabbed in the back, he stands up and Luke stabs him in the chest leaving the knife inside him. He falls and "dies"! Problem solved! Cut to EMTs taking care of the two of them. Firemen, Detectives, Police and EMTs are all over the scene. We hear a fireman tell the detective there were two bodies inside and one had his teeth broken out. Hmmm....there should be 3 bodies! We then see firemen exit the building and one has a limp! Guess who it is...its David in a firemen suit! So where did that guys body go? David must be super human! He gets shot in the leg, gets in a high speed head on collision, shot in the shoulder, and stabbed in the back and chest. Yet only has a limp! During the course of things we find out David is part of some secret experiment but no details are given. I was gonna give it the benefit of the doubt and assume this experiment gave his some type of super healing powers but I had to toss that asside. Cuz if thst were the case, why is he still limping from the very first wound he got?
The movie ends there. There is so much more I could have included but this review is already long enough as it is! Do not believe the high ratings...there is no way they could be real. The movie has no redeeming qualities. The acting is awful as well. Watch at your own risk!