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1/10
Atrocious!
24 March 2007
I've been chomping at the bit to assemble a vitriolic attack against this farcical, nonsensical, ill-conceived brain cramp of a game show. (Thanks IMDb for giving me the opportunity!) Fortunately, the latest contestant Sammy - the histrionic, nincompoop construction CEO/president who boldly displayed his ostensible ignorance concerning the area of a square - came to the rescue and gave me a ripe opportunity to bust open the floodgates. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did: the actress/model Avis Wrentmore reminded us that you can still amass some $300,000 even if you think that density is equal to mass divided by air. Yes, you heard me correctly: Air. Oh, and by the way, according to her, all seven of our continents will be classified as countries as well.

Where should I even begin my little tirade? Let's start with the title: a misnomer. An adult *versus* one or more 5th graders played in a style closer (but certainly not identical) to that of Jeopardy would make a lot more sense and would also offer far more entertainment, accelerating the otherwise glacial pace of the program. In a Jeopardy-type format, adult contestants could truly claim that they were smarter than a 5th grader(s). Conversely, 5th graders would have the sublime pleasure in proclaiming to America that they indeed were smarter than an adult! As it stands, the current format is weak and the poor kids are background, merely serving as pawns, coming to the frequent rescue of the supremely idiotic adult contestants.

Let's move on to the host, Jeff Foxworthy. Another misnomer. Surely the viewer has asked himself: Is Foxworthy truly worthy of Fox? No! He has zero charisma, panders to the audience, displays no sense of timing or ability to create suspense, and clogs the show's flow with his distracting banter and vacuous comments. The producers need to quickly usher him through the backdoor and seek immediate backup! What about the contestants? Well, yes it's true you want to strangle them for being so conspicuously stupid, but now it's come to the point where their act has become tired, predictable, and transparent. These folks are selected not just because they've lost touch with their grade school basics, but also because they are deemed to provide the most entertainment to the audience, patronizing the kids and acting out their profound forgetfulness or sheer inability to perform even the simplest calculations. What upsets me the most is that the producers seem to have temporarily struck gold playing off of adult Americans realizing how stupid other adult Americans are - and guess what: we are playing right into their greedy pandering hands! Thankfully, I've read hundreds of other posts on the FOX website echoing my concerns: this show's machinations are most assuredly short-lived.

Suddenly I realize how long this diatribe has gotten and there's a whole host of other gripes I haven't even gotten to explore such as the awkwardly worded questions and the inability of the writers to produce bulletproof answers. Well, thankfully the FOX messageboard has a whole folder to sort that out. Of course there's also the whole cheating gimmick to the show which is altogether reprehensible and a remarkably fantastic way to propagate the message to students all across America: "Hey kids! Sammy the dolt just won $50,000 and that's the reward he gets thanks to his copying off of another student's work!" What a sad state of affairs. It's unfortunate too, because the premise isn't half bad, but they botched it up in no uncertain terms. If all goes well, this show should have a two-week half life at best, thanks be to God.
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