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Reviews
Apocalypto (2006)
A Piece of Repugnant Trash to Watch Mostly in Fast-Forward
This movie is a monument to the depraved alcoholic, homophobic and anti-semitic mind of Mel Gibson. Combined with "Passion of the Christ", it's clear that his movies are nothing more than a vehicle to showcase long, unbelievably drawn out spectacles of violence, blood, brutality and barbarism. Gibson wouldn't be an alcoholic if he wasn't also disturbed otherwise, and these two films simply prove it, they lay his character bare.
The temple scenes are indeed visually fascinating, but that's ALL that makes this movie interesting. And that's no great credit to Gibson, the actual temples themselves are the work of art -- he just reproduced them. It *is* interesting though, that no one else has tackled the subject of Mayan/Inca/Toltec/Aztec civilization.
The first half of the movie is nothing but extremely tedious, desperately-in-need-of-editing scenes of people being dragged through the forest as captives. All the while staring at each other in some blank pointless stare that gets old very quickly.
The "script" is vapid and shallow. OK, they've been captured. We get it. No need to show them for what seems to be eternity being dragged through one forest hazard after another.
The last half of the movie is nothing but a bunch of stupid, boring and appallingly predictable chase-the-guy-through-the-forest scenes. That go on and on and on and on....
There is almost nothing to this movie except the obvious theme of how Meso-Americans would capture other tribes and enslave and sacrifice them. But we know that. This movie simply films that idea for the purpose of creating a vehicle for blood and gore, without the slightest departure from pure superficiality. There is no in-depth exploration of the culture and why these supposed humans are doing this.
The subject needed a great novel from an accomplished and talented writer. Instead we got a comic book written by a hack.
Home of the Brave (2006)
A Hideous, Atrocious Piece of Cinematic Dreck
Movies like this prove that what we really need is the ability to sue the producers, directors and screenwriters of garbage movies like this for the damage it does to our minds to watch something so cheesy, unskilled and artless. And to get compensation for such an utter waste of our time and effort to rent the stupid DVD.
The scripting is one cliché after another that you know exactly where it's going to go. The acting is abominable, I've seen better in 4th grade plays. You keep watching only in the desperate hope that something above the level of pure trite garbage is going to develop. Hint: It doesn't.
With the vast number of truly superb, well-written, well-acted, and well-produced movies out there you could better spend your time on, there's no reason to waste it on this. Leave this piece of junk on the shelf and move on.
The Hotel New Hampshire (1984)
Absolute Garbage, Pure and Simple
This movie without doubt ranks among the Top 10 most repulsive, stupid, pointless, idiotic, unfunny, uninteresting, excruciatingly boring, obnoxious and downright disgusting pieces of film trash ever made. No doubt, those who have rated this garbage highly find it Real Interesting to watch a young Jodie Foster and a young Rob Lowe acting as brother and sister somehow inexplicably being in love with each other and having sex. These same viewers are also apparently endlessly entertained watching idiots in bear costumes, shallow phony Viennese revolutionaries and a hundred other pointless, disjointed vignettes. However, if you are someone who Has A Life, you'll give up like me after about an hour and just fast-forward through the rest of this crap and hope to find an interesting scene. Hint: you won't. Save yourself and avoid this movie, there's a reason why it wallows in obscurity.