Change Your Image
alisdair-42129
Reviews
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
A decent effort, but...
A decent effort to continue this part of the franchise, but unfortunately it comes up short on too many levels. The first one is that, it proved Chadwick Boseman could not be replaced. Oh, and by the way, for the n'th time, why oh why pander to the current fad to make the film so dark, and the sound so muffled? It adds nothing to the drama, it's just annoying. As so often, cgi is inserted to cover up a lack of a coherent story-line, previous characters are wheeled in to provide continuity (they don't) and (bless) the shots of the undersea dwellers look like normal humans holding their breath while smiling. And last but by no means least - how does Martin Freeman get these parts? At best he should be presenting Blue Peter - I don't know what he thinks he's accomplishing but he isn't - someone please shoot him and put him out of our misery.
The Terminal List (2022)
Quite Enjoyable but A Bit Queasy
I enjoyed this up to a point. Guns, explosions, baddies, goodies, a couple of tee-shirts. One mighty bound and our hero is free. All good boys stuff. Others have commented on the modern cinematic trend for semi-darkness and muffled dialogue. Please stop, it's just annoying. It all goes fine while our hero is tracking down and bumping off the baddies who betrayed his comrades and killed his family - where it starts to feel a bit 'off' is where, in pursuit of this noble quest he kills countless innocent military personnel (from his own side) and civilian cops - who presumably have, er... families of their own. None of this is explored in the script or even mentioned by the pursuers who appear to revere this murderous nutter. That apart, it is not a bad watch, good for a train journey or flight.
Moonfall (2022)
What Just Happened?!
Hilarious. I think that was the director's intention, at least I hope it was. Think of Independence Day (same director I think, so it has to be a joke), meets Airplane, meets Mr Bean. But nobody on set laughs out loud - now that's what I call true professionalism. I give it the stars I have for comic content (unintentional or not). If it was supposed to be a serious sci-fi thriller it would have to be somewhere in the minus three-hundreds. One or two sfx scenes were quite good but so scientifically unhinged I wondered whether the special effects guys should be allowed to change a lightbulb at home. Suspend all higher brain functions and just watch open-mouthed.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
What Did I Just (almost) Watch?!
Except I didn't, watch, I mean. I gave up after 45 minutes, which had I realised earlier that this was such a dog's dinner, was 44 minutes too long. On every level, this is jaw-droppingly awful. This was a thriller which couldn't thrill a two year old, a comedy which was toe-curlingly unfunny, a drama about as dramatic as the weather forecast. And the cgi effects weren't as believable as the 1960's Batman tv series.
Don't waste your money or your time. Re-watch the Avengers movies, and remember how good they were, don't tarnish those memories with this insulting, lazy, complacent, concoction.
The Suspect (2022)
Warning: Plot Holes Ahead
Like other reviewers, I had high hopes. After E2, I thought, surely, the writing must improve and the glaring plot holes would diminish. Nope - they're worse. In a typical example, the lead detective doesn't arrest the suspect and then lay out his case at the police station, oh no, he telephones him to tell him all he knows and suspects. The suspect is then free to flee, approach others, interfere with the case based on what the detective has just, er, told him. Just one example of many bizarre examples. And the detective; either he's so badly written he has no chance to occupy the character, or, which seems more likely, the actor simply doesn't 'get' how a police detective would speak. This guy comes across as a game show host, and jumping to ever more unlikely conclusions based on no evidence or police work whatsoever. While staring accusingly and fixedly through his glasses (his only expression, by the way). I may watch one more, I'll leave it a while though, there's always other, better, stuff to find first.
Stay Close (2021)
Line Of Duty Meets Alan Partridge
I must say I understand the other reviews on here. The 'hook' is a decent one but there are more plot holes than in a 1960's string vest. The idea that our heroine is so traumatised that she 'escapes' from her past to remain in the the same town, is pretty funny. The cop is so brilliant he misses urgent calls, ignores screaming clues, leaves our heroine in a locked room at the police station for 'a chat' with the guy he has just arrested for multiple murders because he, er.... asks him to. A chief inspector who is half work experience half game show host who spends the first two episodes asking only "have you found the car yet?". No other item of curiosity, for example, the mounting body count. A murderous couple who look like they wandered on set from an entirely different show. And sing. Whaaat?! As I say, I enjoyed it, it is so daft it's hard not to - just don't expect a serious whodunnit, lie back, enjoy the next ludicrous plot hole and wonder why the cop doesn't spot the obvious killer by E2. Mix up Line of Duty, La La Land and Monty Python and you get the gist.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
Watch It Twice
I made the mistake the first time of comparing it with the incomparable original. Also, I didn't quite 'get' the story's nuances the first time, it seemed overly dense. Now I think it stands the test; stepping back and watching the film on its own terms reveals other layers. Villeneuve has created his own film here and it's ravishing. There are scenes and depths to savour however the moment when 'K' begins to understand his newly formed hopes and dreams are just another illusion is an acting moment of the highest quality. Watch it again, appreciate the film for what it is, don't compare it.
Invasion (2021)
I quite like this show.
Not for the reasons you might think. I like it because so little happens there is plenty of time between anything happening to make a cup of tea, pour a glass of wine, or cook a meal. By E3 you know the pattern, someone starts talking, or emoting, or thinking, and you know you have time to do any of the above or something else - raise a family for example. And the great thing is there is no need to pause it, get your timing right and you can be sure the story hasn't advanced an inch.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Oops
Like watching paint dry but slower and not so much fun. The gory/vampiry bits are quite funny though. Oh, an addendum: I've just been told my review has to be at least 150 characters. Hopefully it now is.
War of the Worlds (2019)
Repetition Repetition...and then you die. Of boredom.
I had high hopes of a classic story and a strong cast. But this is like eating the same thing, every meal, every day, for the rest of your life. I gave it a go, I really did, but the episodes are so similar I couldn't tell you if I was watching episode 2 or 22. Nothing seemed different except a few spoken lines here and there and a different shot of ruined cars. I felt sorry for the cast, filming the same episode week in, week out. Oh, and who knew that when drivers simultaneously died at the wheel all the cars would stop in line exactly 2.5 feet from each other. Anyway, I gave up. Oh, and there is no war, and no aliens except clunky doggy-type robots. There is a second series. Allegedly.
Home Before Dark (2020)
An Eton Mess Of A Series
So -I'm guessing you know what an Eton Mess is. Something smashed together, parts of which are sickly and other parts edible. This series at its core has an interesting abduction/murder mystery, however, surrounding it is a sickly mix of annoying American kids (is there another kind?) and a couple with 'relationship issues'. After a while it becomes predictable and you learn which bits to skip but again after a while that becomes tiring and boring. And does Jim Sturgess ever wash his hair? Ok for a flight or a train journey.
Lost in Space (2018)
Imagine dropping a pavlova from a great height.
I had high hopes. The original series was distinguished by it's inventive plot lines and (now clunky and funny) original ideas for sets. This series does the opposite - the sets and vistas are impressive but the plot lines are risible, and fairly boring. Other reviewers have commented on plot holes so I don't need to, save that if that's your thing, then it's an endless stream of daft mistakes. Oh, and shoot Doctor Smith, whatever she thinks she's achieving, she isn't. It's just weird. Please put her out of our misery.
Breach (2020)
Whaaaat?!
Bafflingly, deliriously, hilariously awful. Bruce Willis drank from a hip-flask all the way through - I sincerely hope for his sake he was actually drunk. Watch it if you can't find a plastic bag to put over your head. The effect will be much the same.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
It's not so bad. Only joking!
The first twenty or so reviews gave this movie scores between 1 and 3. They were being kind. I watched for a while until I couldn't stand any more. I felt a bit sorry for the actors, which I know is odd since they contributed to this unholy drivel.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
I'm losing it...
I have tried hard to engage with this series but, say it quietly, it's boring. The sfx, the graphics, the costumes, all fine - I just have the feeling I'm watching The Archers. It's, yes, boring. There may be an interesting endgame with a dynamic change of pace in the script and the primary characters don't speak in a gravelly whisper (is that for dramatic effect? It's not working, it's annoying) but somehow I doubt it. I won't be watching it so the point is moot.
Thirteen (2016)
Did anyone actually read the script?
I don't need to go into the bizarrely off-key police procedures in this production, the retired police officer covered those better than I could in his review. Suffice to say they were jaw-droppingly, bafflingly off kilter. I kept thinking a reason would become apparent in a clever plot twist. Nope, they were just incredibly badly written. I watched E1 and shook my head, so I thought E2 would be worth a look to see if someone new had taken over the writing duties. Nope - Teletubbies standard again. It's a shame because the central performance by Jody Comer was first class, very watchable, what she thought was going on is anyone's guess. And the 'romantic' frisson between the two lead detectives? Oh dear, not in a million years. Oh, and did I mention the numerous door locks on the INSIDE of the room where our victim was imprisoned? Whaaat? Just release them and walk out girl! I watched all five with a mounting sense of hilarity, my family gleefully pointing out the next absurdity. The final one was great - the worried family being told by the hapless chief detective that they had traced the address where their daughter was being held and had dispatched squad cars, then YUP, the family arriving BEFORE the police for a tearful reunion. If you want an exciting, coherent, tense, kidnap/police type programme try Broadchurch, or The Sinner, or Line of Duty, or Dad's Army, or Bake Off, or anything really- if you want an incoherent, unintentionally hilarious blooper-fest, this is for you.
The Trip to Greece (2020)
Tired and Tiring
Aka Coogan and Brydon. I watched a couple of the previous series off and on, when I felt like something amusing/undemanding involving food and travel. That was fine. This time, with an interest in Greek history and culture, I was looking forward to the new locations. However my optimism was misplaced. The tired old formula of two 'funny' men engaging in un-funny (and increasingly edgy) banter and impersonations simply doesn't work any more. And what a waste of scenery and history - Epidaurus is one of the wonders of the ancient world, a beautiful open-air theatre designed four centuries before Christ (and still used to this day), with wonderful views over the surrounding countryside. What did we see? Two men bickering witlessly on a stone step. If the cameraman had simply turned through 90 degrees the quality of the programme would have been significantly improved. Then the trip to the island of Hydra - 90% of that trip was devoted to a single (!) shot of a restaurant terrace. T&T droned on, boring other diners, and us the viewers, whilst their two female guests looked utterly disinterested. A more modern story of Hydra (a tiny island) that Leonard Cohen lived there for a number of years, and where he created many of his most famous songs, and that it was home to artists, poets, musicians (some of whom still live there), was given only a cursory/jokey mention - the producer (correctly) deciding that that story was more interesting than T&T's increasingly desperate impersonations. And what did they eat? Who cares, they didn't. Time's up chaps. Move on.