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Reviews
House of the Dead 2 (2005)
Don't bother.
This movie is awful. And not the fun kind of awful, it's just awful. The story is awful, the acting is awful, the dialog is awful, the editing is awful... the list goes on and on. Examples: At one point early on there is a scene where the actor is splattered with blood, then they switch angles and he's totally clean, then they switch angles again and he's splattered with blood again. This is the kind of quality you can pretty much expect throughout the entire movie. Towards the end the 2 main characters get locked in a room which requires a had scanner to get out of, but the girl who can open it is killed by zombies far away from the door, so they are stuck in there, all like, gee whiz, how ever will we get out... at which point the door suddenly opens and the girls arm and hand are hanging off the scanner, a bajillion feet from her actual body which is being eaten by zombies, and not sliding off the palm reader, because, you know, who needs gravity. They spend 45 minutes of the movie talking about how they only have 10 minutes left to get the blood they need before the govt blows up the school... as they drive back to the school to get the blood a second time, after they initially had only 15 minutes. They also decided it would be a great idea to strip off all their body armor (which barely covered anything to begin with) to fight their way through hundreds of zombies. They then actually got swarmed by zombies, but were never bitten, as the zombie actors flailed their arms around but never grabbed them, instead just kind of bumping and pushing into them. There's a scene where they "can't open" a flimsy wall grate from the side they are on, despite the screws being extremely visible in the shot, and after opening the grate from the other side, the girls have to climb up and out the grate, which is supposedly the only thing separating the 2 rooms, but the second girl (for horribly unconvincing dramatic effect) has her legs grabbed as she's trying to climb all the way through, but they switch the shot to her 2 teammates on "the other side" of the grate and she's nowhere to be seen, even though she should have half her body through the grate at that point. Instead, after the horrible fake kicking scene, you can actually see the male lead actor pulling her in from the floor of the other room instead of pulling her up and in if she were actually climbing into the higher level grate from below. Then there's the scene where the govt blows up the college with a missile, killing all the zombies, but the lead female actress who was still stuck in the building lived without so much as being singed. I guess that cheap fold out table with the paper cover that she was hiding under was made out of some real quality stuff. Unlike this movie.
One Under the Sun (2017)
Wow... that was awful...
I could overlook the extremely sub par acting and lack of budget if the story and dialog were any good. They aren't. Right out the gate this movie dragged, was boring, and I felt zero connection or concern for the characters. The attempts at forced humor didn't help. I have no idea why this had as high a rating as it did. Don't waste your time.