peterr-12 Reviews

Magnum Force (1973)

Probably my second to best of the Dirty Harry series

[7/10 · 2 February 2024]

This was the sophomore outing for Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry and the cop with no limits. My second favorite in the series this movie has very little down time. Its really a love letter to the .357 and .44 caliber revolver hand guns. We even get a head to head shoot out on the police range competition. The "rookies" are made up of young up and comers in Hollywood including the late starsky and hutch star David Soul. In the end, the formula is replete with the same antics as the first movie, and of course later entries copy this...but as they say, if it aint broke, dont fix it. We even see the bad guy end up floating in water at the end with a one liner. Just like the first one...with a small twist. My only wish is that we could have seen more of Harry's private life explored with his neighbor who makes the pick up line every red blooded American boy wants to hear "what does a girl need to do to get you to sleep with her?" It would have been fun to see his personal growth a little here, and probably would have brought in even more women to view the movie. At least, those who are not just there to ask Dirty Harry "what do I need to do?"

As a bonus, we get an early 1970s view of Lombard Street in San Francisco. It will shock most people as today its full of people walking it, and beautiful flowers all along the drive. Back then, just cement, curves and half dead grass.

Silent Night (2023)

Who green lit this film? They need to be fired.

[1/10 · 31 January 2024]

The decision to go totally non dialogue in this movie makes about as much sense as the premise of creating an getting an action director from the 90s, trying to create an action star from the late 80s early 90s, giving him a premise to get revenge on everyone.....and then taking away his ability ti spout the one liners and quips that make the revenge feel so sweet as you put the guys head in a meat grinder. In other words, it doesn't make any sense at all...not if you want it to make money, anyway. We get why he has no voice, he was shot in the throat. So, his wife has to txt him to ask where the keys are? He didn't lose his hearing too, did he? Are we just not privy to that information? This movie is laughable. Going through the entire thing watching everyone around him just decide to "stop talking" makes no sense.

What it DOES make is a very boring movie. It just dumb. Watching the whole montage of "getting ready to...kill them all" I have I said it already? It's just boring and lazy. I'd say lazy writing....but there is no dialogue. Makes me wonder if this was made during the writers strike and they got around filming by excluding dialogue. Oh, wait, you do hear some dialogue....from youtube channels that apparently teach you how to slice a man's throat open. I'm sure that would exist, cause YouTube has zero guidelines for stuff like that. And apparently a few videos is all you need. It's not like you need to do some actual fighting so you can learn how to evade, take a punch and actually become a bad-ass.

This movie is why IMDb needed to allow for a 0 star rating. Still confused as to why that's not an option. Marked for spoilers cause I spilt the beans on no dialogue. Something not mentioned in trailer, or viewer synopsis.

Weird or What? (2010–2012)

Click bait for the year 2010...or as they say "I couldn't look away...". The competition between shatter and mimic is alive and well

[2/10 · 27 January 2024]

Apparently, Shatner will dive to no depth unseen just to compete with Nimoy for camera time. You've heard the stories about onset ba shatter would pull to get fellow actors blocked out of shots. To the movies and the fact that Shatner secured directing duties in STV since Nimoy was given ST4 when he was enticed to come back.

This series is just one of the collateral damage caught on film in that private little war. It's ham strung and piece medaled together with cheesey cliff hangers before commercials and other stuff that by any standard would be labeled "yeah, kind of different" as compared to "weird or what?" But, alas, Bill, Leonard did it first, and did it better. Even if his experts were just as dubious.

More proof of the competition, aside from the movie stuff above, go to you tube and check out "ballad of bilbo baggins" by Leonard Nimoy. Get ready for some laughs. They even have him dressed up in his pointy era and helmet hair cut from Star Trek tos...and he's smiling. It's almost surreal and certainly off putting. Now, ready for this. "Rocket man" from William Shatner on YouTube. You will not be disappointed. It takes itself wayyyy too seriously and puts you in the mood to reflect on the meaning of life......no no.no ...I'm kidding. You'll be laughing even harder on this one.

Enjoy!

The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956)

Not quite Jurassic Park, even for it's time...

[4/10 · 9 June 2022]

While this movie won't set any imaginations on fire, the tongue on the T-rex is by far the best thing going in the animation sequences. It HAS to be the inspiration for Gene Simmons of KISS...long, independent movement with a mind of its own. It is hard to believe this was done in 1956 for the quality of the cinemascope color and resolution; which is quite good...the white-washing may have some modern day "activists" on their toes screaming for "justice" but remember, it's a product of it's time. Enjoy it for what it is. A B-movie monster flick with the genuinely unique idea of crossing two genres that were on fire at the time (westerns and stop motion animation fantasy/sci-fi) together like chocolate and peanut butter....unfortunately, it just didn't leave the same delicious after taste.

The Green Knight (2021)

Beautiful Cinematography, writers on LSD!

[4/10 · 9 October 2021]

Normally that title alone would warrant a watch because it promises the most vivid imaginations and wild story telling....

Howevet, in this case far too much acid was dropped which seems to have outpaced the ability to Actually film it!

While the movie is beautiful, the story is slow paced to the point of calling out...then honking at it for camping in the fast lane! Much too slow, indeed. We are left with a confusing muddle of on screen chapter titles of sorts which are barely connected the video they preceed.

Later we then get weird characters and no explanation of how our hero even knows them. Is it at best, confusion all the way around!

War of the Worlds (2019– )

Should be named "walking dead: Boston dynamics dog robots strike"

[3/10 · 18 July 2021]

Has nothing to do with hg wells story other than some sort of alien invasion. Too slowly paced to keep people's attention span beyond the initial attack. Everyone is essentially deemed a monster by their humanity just because they have ulterior motives to find loved ones or protect others. By episode 5 this is essentially the writers' declaring war on the viewer by saying "we are all destructive because of human nature. No redeeming qualities. So, the aliens are doing the universe a favor by wiping us out." Go preach somewhere else.

The Land That Time Forgot (1974)

Fun entertainment with cheeses vfx...but a story strong enough to cary through

[7/10 · 6 June 2021]

The Land that Time Forgot was released in 1974, and is one of those movies you either enjoy for the story or hate because you can't handle the bad fx if you need them to tell a complete story.

The only way to truly get an opinion on this movie is to watch it. My first viewing was when I was home sick from school in elementary, the early 80s. Back when we had 3 main channels and cable tv was fairly new. The controller was still wired to the television, albeit a long ass cord, and it used a slider mechanism to switch channels. MTV was brand new!

The only difference between now and then per the enjoyment of the movie was my point of view from age. As a kid, this was a whimsical tale of harrowing adventure. New and something different. As an adult, it's pure nostalgia that takes me back to the music video laiden mtv era. Oddly, I don't find myself getting bored, as one would expect with the advancements in vfx. This goes to prove that story is the true measure of a movie and it's repeatedly viewable worth.

I would say this is fun for the whole family. The violence is very tame compared to even the Saturday morning cartoon experience, much less something like Jurassic park. One note, which is important to some family viewers is the IMDb entry says "no nudity". I thought this to be true because I've only ever seen this on broadcast television stations. However, there is a scene toward the end where our group is watching a tribe of Neanderthals. There are women bathing in the top of a dome structure with water coming out of it. Apparently, there IS NUDITY as the last viewing had these women with blurred out breasts while they frolicked around as seen from a distance. I had never noticed it before, but if he blur is there, so just be the breasts I would take it. So, heads up parents on cable or rental views.

Enjoy a creature feature with Doug McClure, the real life inspiration for the Simpsons' "Troy McClure" you may remember him from such episodes of the Simpsons as "A Fish Called Selma". ;-)

Side Out (1990)

The 10s are spoof reviews...gotta be real here...

[3/10 · 4 August 2020]

As a kid of just 20 when this came out we were all avid beach volleyball players. The avp was struggling at the time. A few years earlier the avp came to seattle for the first time. We all got jobs shagging balls for the courts. We were players and all around beach rats. When we heard a movie was coming out we held a watch party on tape (dont ask).

Campy and ridiculous. From stokolos taking a name like Rolo and having acting chops of a cardboard Cutout (sorry man, love your court skills but leave acting to the pros) to a ridiculous forced in redemption love story thats just there to get women to watch (cause somehow half naked superior fit men dont??).

Sure, athletes can adjust from one sport to another. As an example we had a 6'5" friend that played basketball ... and eventually he got decent at volleyball. Everything but setting....after 3 years! C. Thomas Howell is neither 6'5" nor a believable basketball prodigy. In the end, he suffered the same fate: hands like spaghetti noodles.

Ive waited a long time to review this movie and wanted to Go with the spoofs cause it'd be fun, but i cant. I love the sport too much and hollywood owes us a GREAT volleyball movie a la Miracle for hockey. So far, 30 years later, trash. Dont bother looking. From the one with a dog playing vb to the one with helen hunt, And numerous in between, they all suck.

Only watch this movie with copious beer (shouldnt be a problem for most players) and absolute zero expectations.

Ad Astra (2019)

Couldn't finish because science was so stupid.

[2/10 · 10 June 2020]

While the opening was an impressive cliff dive from space....the rest of this movie is garbage. They get to the moon and gravity is normal inside the habitat, yet normal moon gravity everywhere else? And then our protagonist has to travel to dark side of moon for launch to mars? Aside from, why can't this happen from earth, I have to ask....why are they using old style moon rover vehicles when COMMERCIAL travel to moon is happening? Why not enclosed vehicle that avoids need for space suit? There are so many holes in the science and reasoning. Space pirates on the moon? Seriously? Again if this is even possible or a known issue with a mission as critical as our hero, why not enclosed armored vehicle to get him safel;y there? Where do the space pirates live much less get resources on the moon? Does Somali have a space force in the future? I'm done. Sci-fi? No. Just an old fashioned introspective yarn about relationship issues with hero daddy.

Dropa (2019)

A review from someone who DID NOT work on this film.

[3/10 · 24 April 2020]

This film could be interesting and different, but the producers soooo wanted a blade runner rip off, that's exactly what they got. Right down to the monologing of the main bad guy (alien) in the end to the hanging from a precipice good guy only to be caught when he loses grip and falls. They even added the 80s lens flare blade unmet was famous for when industrial light and magic perfected the look inner and close encounters. Only this time the woman protagonist actually does the catching, literally AND figuratively this time. The shots everyone is raving about have to be the closest "avoid going over budget" shots I've ever seen. So close in fact you have no idea how our protagonist gets shuffled off that ledge at the end, or what clearly happens to the antagonist in the end. Depending on the blade runner cut you watch, you also get the nuanced tie up in the end. Not gonna sugar coat this one. If you're feeling nostalgic for blade runner and a sullen cop a la Harrison Ford, you'll get half that here. Not worth the time. The only way you know what's going on is if you've seen blade runner to follow the shot for shot recreation scenes.

Into the Grizzly Maze (2015)

Who has dirt on these actors forcing them to be in this movie?

[2/10 · 11 April 2020]

So there are movies made because they are important. Movies made because the script is so well written and the scenes are fleshed out in a way that tells a compelling story making one ponder why? How? Did I just complete a piece of my life journey by watching this?

This is NOT one of those movies. At least not in the traditional sense. The how is framed in questions like "how did this movie get made? How did they get stars 9at least well known actors) to be in this?" The why, from questions as basic as "why did I spend 90 minutes of my life on this film?" This movie is, in every sense of the phrase, a "Paycheck" movie.

I won't go through the plot points. Spoiler, it's "Jaws" on land with a bear, which has been done so many times before, except this one makes it doubly atrocious because it didn't follow "Jaws" ... it followed "Jaws 4"...you know the one? The one were the shark has a hard on for the Brody boys and after killing the one son, follows the other to the Caribbean to "finish the deed!" There. All caught up. Good.

True spoilers now:

As an example of how bad this waste of digital 1s and 0s on an electronic camera is we have piper Peraboo's character. She must have taken a master class in looking scared for no reason and then, when it was time to panic for real with a bear 10 feet from her, we get the incredible talent of tripping over our own feet. As a matter of fact, every character in this movie has at least one "Bear! I must trip now." Moment. Her character is hearing impaired. This must of have been her "paycheck" moment as she took this roll. I can hear agent now, " Zombie trip through the movie and look good. We don't need to hear you speak dear.' Aside from the fact that her character being hearing impaired affects the plot in absolutely no way possible. There's no "over coming adversity moment" for her. And her impairment does not serve as a "hidden" talent to destroy the antagonist.

Then we have the brothers. They fight. They throw punches....multiple..in front of the girls as a matter of fact.... (not my term. That's the actual way these women are described in the movie multiplied times. 'The girls") with full on punches to the face. No damage. And of course one of the women, not piper....she's too busy not saying anything...fires a gun and asks "are they are 12? To stop them.....never mind they are in the woods...at night... trying to hunt a bear that is a known killer. Bang! Here we are. Come and eat me!

Nothing makes sense. Every person who has a gun, literally cannot hit a target from 5 feet away. Even with a rifle. Billy bob's character takes a shot, and it explodes a tree about 6 inches in diameter.....yet the following 4 shots I am assuming he hits when the bear is charging right at him from 20-50 feet... no damage. The bear is an American grizzly and is HUGE. About 12 feet tall. He's an experienced hunter. We know the gun does damage from the same scene. Nothing! He dies..... but he saved piper, and his prosthetic makeup on half scratched off ear/face looks pretty good.

Towards the end they make it to a boat met by sheriff on the lake/river. Sherif and one of brothers on the beach about 100 feet from woods. Some how, the bear sneaks up right next to the two on the beach as someone in boat yells "watch out!" (Cause they didn't see bear casually strolling out of woods up to the guys til just now??) Then bear mauls cop. Bear proceeds to maul almost everyone as the people in boat shoot at bear and miss again while goes to boat and flips it. Then gas and a flare are used. This still doesn't kill bear as he is about to maul hero brother, marsdan's character. Then just as he's about to be eaten, voila, Bear croaks.

Quite possibly being the most ridiculous scene in movie history containing name brand actors and a movie with a budget.

Then camera pans up and fades into the natural beauty of the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. NO tie ups. Nothing. Just done. And just like that gone as fast as it came into existence. I had never heard of this movie until it popped up on Starz.

Again, wondering what the producers had on these actors to be in this movie? Listed as a horror movie, there is no horror. The jump scares are made laughably silly by the fact that a 3000 lb animal can suddenly pop up behind you on a beach, or sneak around in the woods silently to stalk victims. Actors are serviceable as they trod through a stupid script, but over all you just can't buy into any of this.

Want to see a good "Bear Scare" movie? try "the Prophecy 1979". Mutant bear from toxic waste....now that's a scary bear! Or, "the Edge" with sir Anthony Hopkins. Wanna see real bear damage, watch "the Revenant" bear scene. That'' put a little pee in your trousers.

In the end, a movie was made, production quality was good, Actors got paid, A director is embarrassed and producers should find a different hobby.

October Faction (2020)

Im trying but it fights me on every level

[4/10 · 31 January 2020]

Im trying to like this show, but in the end Netflix finds new ways to insult me or challenge me in every scene. I couldnt get past the first time they walk into the house and say "price it to sell fast" - then the very next scene dad is using super high tech computer built into study desk, wall and other parts...all while mom is in another room with secret panels and ai that helps her pick an arsenal from available weapons! Sooo, who ya gonna sell this home to? Ex-CIA agents? Russian mafia? Then mom shows up and immediately says she wants the house. The lack of logic and how you'd follow through on just selling the house brings believability to zero. Every other premise is presented in this same non sense fashion. Mom hates dad being drunk in front of kids (when hes the most placid person around...not like hes running around in wife beater swearing at them!!) next scene, lets drive dads old car to store ro vet more booze and dad pulls out a joint from glove compartment...they get high together....yet shes going to drive!! Mother of the year there right after giving dad for being drunk. The entire show is just ridiculous! Get better writers, directors and actors! Just dumb!

Van Helsing (2004)

15 years and multiple views = cult classic

[8/10 · 19 January 2020]

Criminally underrated movie. Sure, the acting is cheesy and gives Hugh Jackman Another vehicle to chew out his hammy lines, but that fits nicely into this package of cgi and fast paced story telling. The plot is simple....stop Dracula from creating an army of undead using a mixture of old school characters mixed with more modern team approach. Obstacles along the way include a myriad of universal monster tropes. Beyond that I recommend viewing as i wont spoil the fun! The cgi may be over used to some but it is high quality and creates some truly amazing set pieces and monster transformations. Costumes are rich and quite frankly I'm surprised this hasn't garnered viewing parties a la harry potter or the Rocky Horror picture show. This movie truly feels like an adventure with fleshed out backstories before the main theme ensues. A perfect one and done!

War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008 Video)

Garbage = C. Thomas Howell

[21 June 2011]

Guys, you have to understand. A) budget. $500k. Barely enough to buy the time on the video cameras let alone decent talent. B) C Thomas Howell has a trashed rep in Hollywood so the only way he could do anything would be to fund it, produce it and direct it. C) There is no REAL sequel to War of the Worlds so what the heck? I wish people would stop inventing things that don't exist...like the prequels to Star Wars. Don't give me that "They were always there and intended" stuff. They were rushed out the door and guess what? Pure Crap except for the last 30 mins of revenge of the sith which summed up the entire series for episode 4 to start just fine.

No budget and C Thomas Howell should be ashamed of himself.

Outlander (2008)

what happened to the marketing team on this?

[7/10 · 10 March 2011]

OK, small disclaimer. I did attend high school with Jim, but any nepotism aside, the marketing directory should be FIRED. CANNED! Strung up...on this film. How do you have a budget of 50 mil, and decent special effects, pretty good acting...a uniquely new twist on the chosen one story, and somehow the movie only makes a few hundred thousand on 81 screens?!? What the heck? Since I had never heard of this, I thought it was a direct to video until I looked it up in the IMDb.

Between movies like this and the 2007 movie Stardust, with what has to be one of the best performances of robert deniro's career, you have to wonder what these people are thinking to try and make money? It's not like these monsters looked fake? It's not like the blood and gore was over the top...and hey, you finally get to see Ron Perlman silenced with a decapitation!