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The Whale (2022)
10/10
Suicidal quest a'la MOBY DICK
22 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Loved this film. Uncontrollable sobbing overtook me, even 10 minutes after the credits were finished. Fraser brought to life such a believable and sympathetic character, that throughout the entire movie I kept randomly crying over how touching and real his performance was as the morbidly obese shut-in English teacher, battling his demons.

I know many people see this movie mainly as being one that centers around addiction and the far-reaching consequences of them. However, the real message of this film seems to be a more subtle lesson of "man's search for meaning in a world of deceptive appearances and fatal delusions," which is how Laurie Robertson-Lorant described MOBY DICK, a novel which the movie heavily references.

Throughout the movie we are shown all of the characters' strengths and contradicting flaws. Charlie believes that everyone is good and worthy of love, except himself. Liz is forgiving of Charlie and empathizes with his illness, yet also enables it, perhaps even in a passive-aggressive manner as subconscious revenge for her brother's death. Ellie is called "evil" by her own mother and is considered the social pariah in high school, however she ends up saving Thomas and reuniting him with his family. All Thomas wants to do is "help," but ends up hurting Charlie in the worst way, insinuating that God punished him and Alan for being gay. Mary is an overprotective mother who wants the best for her daughter, yet denies her access to the only thing which would bring her normalcy, that being her father. And even the pizza guy Dan is a person who wants to reach out and befriend his repeat customer, but upon seeing Charlie's physical appearance, Dan is disgusted and immediately regrets breaking their unspoken privacy pact.

Aronofsky does an excellent job, too, using misdirection to fool us into focusing on the characters' flaws when their strengths are actually being shown, and vice versa. For example, Charlie tells Ellie that he keeps his webcam off so his students won't see what he looks like. Aronofsky utilizes subtle camera angles and tense situations to make us suspect that Ellie will secretly change the webcam settings on his camera in order to accidentally expose his appearance to his students. Ellie also takes candid photos of people without their permission, records their private confessions, and even drugs them with Ambien. However, Ellie never does anything malicious to her father while he is asleep (we are led to believe in some way she drugged him in an act of compassion), even though the laptop is right in plain view. And her candid photos and recording of Thomas only serve as his liberation later on.

It is also interesting to watch how each character has their own successful path, even though what's right for one character isn't necessarily right or deemed appropriate by another. For example, Charlie believes that giving his life savings to his daughter and accepting death is his path. He does not want nor need God or anyone else to save him. Thomas believes that God is the reason for all things, and that through God's power Ellie saved Thomas and reunited him with his family. Both of Charlie and Thomas truly believe in their individual paths with resounding conviction, and if we would try to interchange their paths, we would produce utter failure. Even though religion is what indirectly led Charlie to his demise (ie his partner committing suicide because he wasn't accepted by his family and the church for being gay), religion is what ends up saving Thomas. Even though Thomas wasn't very honest with himself and his life's desires, honesty is what saved Charlie's relationship with his daughter and let him die with peace and contentment. It is also important to note that Thomas possessed wisdom that Charlie lacked (ie "It's only money!"), while Charlie knew all too well that "no one can save anyone."

I also loved so many of the references and symbolism that tied into MOBY DICK. From focusing on various similar themes such as fate and free will, defiance, appearance vs reality, and religion, to the ending scene with the harpoon effect of pulling Charlie closer to Ellie and his own demise while she reads her essay, the movie does an excellent job with paralleling the novel in various ways.

Overall, this was an extremely powerful and moving film. The acting performances and writing were deeply moving, and the direction was well paced and carefully constructed. Also, the special effects and makeup were incredible, which made me smile, remembering back to earlier times when CGI wasn't the answer for "trompe l'oeil."
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The Handmaid's Tale (2017–2025)
3/10
I had this rated as a 6 until I just watched the end of season 2....
22 January 2022
Ridiculous.

The "dramatic" scenes are always about 3 minutes too long, and the closeups of JUNE'S FACE are NEVER ENDING. OHMYGOD PLEASE STOP.

I don't know if Atwood is to blame (I haven't read the book), or the writers/directors, but sometimes this seems like this is nothing but a cuckold's fantasy and not a serious social commentary.

I can't watch season 3. The stupidity of the end of season 2 was just too much to handle. The character of June is too unlikable now.
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The Sacrament (2013)
6/10
Well... wasn't expecting that to happen....
25 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I was almost certain that the script was leading up to a really horrific ending where "Father" was some notorious cult serial killer that would gather innocent people together for a few months, steal their money, and brainwash themselves into suicide. Then he'd leave the isolated land and go try it again with a bunch of other unsuspecting victims. There were so many nods in the film that this might actually happen, so I was shocked that it just went the way of the Jonestown Massacre. There was such a huge payoff here that totally missed the mark. It could have been a great conspiracy where Father and the sister were in on it together and needed her brother to come to disrupt the place as an excuse to murder everyone. *sigh* Oh well. Maybe next time, Ti West.
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The Lodge (2019)
4/10
Dad of the Year!
9 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Who in their right mind would A) willingly date a psychopath from a suicide cult, let alone B) leave town and let said psychopath babysit his two children? Why, this film's exemplary father figure, that's who! Let's not forget he probably didn't bother trying to call his kids every day to check up on them, since it took him awhile to finally realize he should race back to the lodge when their phones weren't in service any longer. Throw in the fact that he caused the mother of his children to take a bullet to the head, and, well, it makes me wonder if the script writer had some unresolved daddy issues while creating this character.
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The Lie (2018)
6/10
WTF
8 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The only reason I rated this a 6 out of 10 was for (mostly) everything leading up to the last 15 minutes of the film. But the entire, "Oh, mom and dad, I'm just j/k'ing witcha. Brtiney ain't dead. Lulz. Let's be familiez." made me wish Kayla's parents had asked her to go wait outside in the driveway so they could run her down, too. As many other reviewers have already pointed out, this movie is all about stupid people doing stupid things, and nothing more.
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Ma (I) (2019)
4/10
Kind of shocked...
7 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not sure how they got Octavia Spencer, Luke Evans, and Juliette Lewis to agree to doing this film, but if it weren't for their acting chops, this movie would have received less than a 4 from me. There are so many in-your-face instances of foreshadowing in the beginning of the film, that it's fairly easy to guess what's going within the first 15 minutes. It's a sloppily written script, to say the least, especially in terms of the build-up throughout the film to discover what the grand incident was that scarred "Ma" for life. It could have been a much better script if the writer spent more time developing the characters a little more sensibly, rather than focusing on getting alcohol for minors every few minutes. The ending was also horrifically over-the-top. I didn't find myself caring for any of the characters and their fates. It's like it all seemed to morph into this strangely unintentional John Water's SERIAL MOM vibe. Everything resolved itself in an ironic and comical manner, and had me feeling as if I honestly didn't care about any of the characters or their fates.
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Nocturne (II) (2020)
1/10
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
7 January 2021
I played video games on my phone during the entire movie. Painfully awful.
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Greta (2018)
4/10
SO. MANY. PLOT HOLES.
4 January 2021
I wanted to like this film so badly. But the plot holes (and, oh, there are many a'glarin' ones to behold)? They left me feeling angry once the end credits started rolling. I won't point them out for you, however. Let's play a game and see how many you can find! *Hint*: if you can find more than 5, you were paying very good attention while watching this film.
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7/10
Went in with low expectations, ended up liking it!
4 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I seem to be in the minority here, in that, I didn't like the first WW installment, but enjoyed this one. The only reason why I was willing to watch this one was because I dig 80's pop culture references. Sadly, this film falls extremely short on that matter. I was hoping the writer/director would have incorporated other 1984 nods besides a quick montage of laughable 80's men's clothing apparel. Aside from some outdated technology and older cars, nothing about this film gave me an 80's vibe which, again, was a bit disappointing for me. However, the script and acting, I found, to be on par with the last film. There were some campy parts, some "could we be any less subtle with the morality lesson?" speeches by the characters, and, of course, some glaring plot holes and anachronisms. Otherwise, I didn't find it to be as horrible as some of the reviewers on here. Maybe it's because they are comic book fans and I am just a casual observer of the genre? Probably. Therefore, if you're like me and just looking for a good film to watch to pass the time and mildly entertain you, I see no reason to pass this one up. Besides, WW gets to finally fly in this one! If anything, you have to see this film for that reason alone.
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Tiger King (2020–2021)
5/10
*cues SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT theme song*
8 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Remember those old 1980's WWF feuds? Or for those of you who were born with a cellphone next to your ear, ever watch a staged YouTube fight? You know the game... pick a fake fight with another YouTuber in order to gain more exposure, thus, more followers? It's a win-win for everyone involved. Except, well, for the viewers.

And that, my friends, is TIGER KING in a nutshell. It's a story about the lengths some people will go in order to help out those who do not have a voice. Sure, their motives aren't entirely unselfish. We do have some random personality disorders flying about here and there. But overall? Quite commendable (yet over-the-top) efforts for all of those involved.
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Lisa (1990)
8/10
RL Stine's GOOSEBUMPS meets LIFETIME MOVIE CHANNEL
8 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I am almost sorry that I missed this beautiful gem of a movie when it came out in 1990. Back in the day when it was "totally awesome" for a teen to have a rotary telephone in their bedroom (bonus points if it was your very own line, too), life was much more simple then and, thus, movie plots were able to be more complex. Not having to withstand the dangers of *69 (it didn't exist until 1992) or the immediacy and reliability of smartphones, crank sex calls were an unusual yet tempting pastime for those poor unfortunate souls who would have to wait a couple of decades more for the birth of Tinder.

For this reason and many more, that is what makes LISA such an enjoyable "it's so bad it's good" movie. Staci Keanan gives a believable performance as the awkwardly curious 14 year old Lisa who has boys, boys, boys on the mind! I say "awkwardly curious," for Lisa definitely cannot be defined as "horny," since it is obvious that her character is oblivious to such experiences... which is why she is desperately trying to seek them out in the first place.

And (cute) boy oh boy does her curiousness lead her and others into some serious trouble! Like any girl abandoned by her father at a young age, Lisa stalks good looking, unsuspecting men with her two weapons of choice: a Polaroid instant camera equipped with a not-so-subtle flashbulb, and her "seductive" play pretend voice, which can only truly be described as "a woman who has smoked at least 2 packs of Lucky Strikes a day for 30 years."

Even though some of the scenes are unabashedly contrived in LISA, the tense energy created by the actors' performances combined with the director's admirable timing makes for a rather enjoyable guilty pleasure. Yes, some of the foreshadowing hits you over the head like a sledgehammer within the first 10 minutes of the film (i.e. window ledge... mace...), however that doesn't seem to spoil the plot's unfolding at all. I found myself enjoying the entire journey of the film, even though the middle and ending were painfully predictable.

Therefore, kiddies, if you want to see just how much fun it was to be a perverted high school student (as well as a serial killer) back in the day before the F.B.I. started watching us all via our laptop cameras, then give LISA a viewing. Enjoy witnessing how it was like to live life with much more anonymity, as you pay for your monthly VPN bill which you believe gives you a sense of privacy.
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El Camino (2019)
6/10
Aaron Paul Must Have Needed the Money
15 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This film adds absolutely zero value to the Breaking Bad franchise. As a matter of fact, it only takes away the integrity of the brilliantly written last episode in season 5, "Felina." It is nearly impossible to end a series in such a perfect manner as Vince Gilligan did, and to see his name on this awkward gimmick of a sequel, well... it just sours the entire experience. He should have left well enough alone, especially considering all of the main actors weigh about 40 pounds more than they did since season 5 aired. I can suspend disbelief for a science teacher-turned-drug-kingpin... I can suspend disbelief for a robotic machine gun that miraculously takes out an entire drug cartel... and now I can even suspend disbelief for a refrigerator full of drug money that the authorities blindly overlook... but what I cannot suspend my disbelief for is that Jesse Plemons is still in his early 20's.

Breaking Bad will always be one of my favorite television series, so I can understand people fiending for more, wanting to see the characters in another adrenaline pumping dilemma just one last time. However, if people were missing the characters that much, they should have just slowly weened themselves off of Breaking Bad by binging the show once again, then heading on over to its equally entertaining spin-off show, Better Call Saul. Stepping into Jimmy McGill's world is a much more satisfying endeavor than witnessing the half-arsed 2 hour long epilogue that is El Camino.
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The Tale (2018)
10/10
Can we just take a moment to acknowledge that he referred to himself as NAGA?
10 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Going into the film I thought it was just going to be some sort of cathartic art piece for the director (the beginning of the film starts with a title card stating this is based on writer/director Jennifer Fox's true story). I assumed since it came out after the huge #MeToo movement, it was just another woman's story of abuse that would get lost in the shuffle. However, I must say that this film was quite different and extremely powerful. So many individuals experience such horrific abuse, but the manner in which Ms. Fox told this story-- *her* story-- was extremely well done. It moved me to tears to witness her slow realization and acceptance that she was, indeed, abused by the people she trusted most. Even though it was painful to watch her feelings of isolation and confusion overtake her, it was balanced out in a beautiful manner, via witnessing the steadfast support from her partner (played by actor/rapper Common, whom did a fantastic job in his small yet vital role), as well as via her transformation of unwitting victim into brave warrior.

The movie left me feeling proud of Ms. Fox, and grateful that she was strong enough to share her story in such an aware and raw manner. The film also left me feeling empowered, and much more empathetic to the plight of women across the globe who may have struggled or are currently struggling with issues of sexual abuse. Thank you for the beautiful film, Ms. Fox, and I hope to see more work from you in the near future.
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Climax (I) (2018)
1/10
Climax? More like "I Was Faking It"
8 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I can understand if you're a pre-pubescent boy and your mom and dad have a lockdown on your internet browsing experience, that this film may spark some interest for you to some degree. However, to those of us who are not so easily mesmerized by gyrating bodies, this movie is quite a bore. If you take away the alluring French accents, I'm quite sure that you will agree with me that the dialogue is the equivalent of eavesdropping on someone's post-party ruminations on a urine soaked subway car at night. There is no horror. There is no plot. There is just an abundance of stupidity masked by bodies and an array of uninteresting relationships, where everyone acts as if they are so liberated, but surprise, surprise-- once some mayhem interferes, suddenly everyone's shadow self comes out to play, and then the audience finally gets to see who's an actual dancer, and who is just a poser.

Don't get me wrong. Some of Gaspar Noe's work is brilliant. But this film just wasn't one of them. And someone needs to change the genre, because nothing in this film resembled horror in the least. You know what's even scarier than a bunch of delusional, semi-repressed dancers on LSD? People watching the movie who find it entertaining without the drugs in their system.

Oh, and the title definitely needs to be changed as well. I'm thinking "The Poorman's Studio 54" would be more apropos.
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