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suzannebainbridge
Reviews
The Terror of Hallow's Eve (2017)
I love a good bad horror...this is none of that.
I do love a "bad" movie, sometimes they can be fun. Those which have been done on a budget can often surprise you as they have to be more inventive their their plot, cast and background. This film does seem to have a decent budget spent on it so how is it so bad?
Usual stuff, geeky and talented kid, no one understands him and then bunch of jocks beat him up and he does something to a pumpkin head....and thats when I stopped watching as by that time I didn't care.
Sadly I still have to write another...89 words for this review to go through. So just a pointless film, not even wasting a lazy after noon watching.
The Who Incident (2023)
How low can you go?
We need to be able to start leaving negative scores as some films just really need it.
Absolute and I cannot put the word in I want to use as it will block this review.
Everyone who has left a positive comment is either employed or a family member of the cast and crew. The acting is abysmal, the syrupy sweetness of this old hippy couple is enough to make your teeth rot. The "creatures" only come towards the end of the film and up till then you have to put up with a banal plot line and as for the whatever the things are supposed to be at the end I've seen scarier things in Scooby Doo.
I can only hope that those making this pointless film learned from it and will not repeat the same mistakes.
Spring Lakes (2023)
You have to be taking the pishhhh!
Any review that has less that maybe 2 or 3 stars is from someone either related to the actors, film crew or are in fact the actors and film crew as this has to be the worst thing I've seen in a long time and I have seen some really bad stuff.
I cannot give you any spoilers as I think I managed to get about a quarter of the way through before I could feel my brain cells dying at the bad acting, stupid plot line, horrible camera work and as for the horrors, I swear when I got to the 3 men in a field draped in sheets with dark make up on I logged out. Absolute trash.
I know that people need to learn on the job and so sometimes you can watch a "bad movie" but also see some sort of potential this is just bad. No redeeming quality.
As Certain as Death (2023)
Absolute dross.
Just horrible. Those who have given this film decent scores must be paid to leave good reviews or know someone in the cast/crew as this is just a bad film.
Basically a group of unpleasant people take even more unpleasant drug addled friend to camp out in the forest as an intervention.
Looks like they meet a "God fearing" madman and it looks like he's going to be killing them one by one and I for once Thank God for that. If you want to see that you can literally scroll through the first 55 mins to the last 10-15mins.
Honestly just a bad boring drudge of a film and yet I still have to say more to fill out the word count...go wash the dishes or sweep the floor in your home as it will be more interesting and productive than watching this piece of rubbish.
Sound of Silence (2023)
Just bad.
I've been on a run of semi good films on Shudder which lulled me into as false sense that this maybe a good film it is not.
I know that for most of us the cost of energy has gone sky high so maybe that's why most of this is shot in unlit dullness.
This isn't a horror film its a ghost story with violence.
I simply don't care about the characters, the back story and whatever happens. The only thing I have a question about is WTF with the last 10 mins, what does what happens there have to do with the main story. I know the radio comes in to play but the painting and woman and whatever...do not waste your time watching this is just a so so film at best.
Sick (2022)
Shockingly good!
I didn't know anything about this film before I started to watch it and the start certainly suggested it was going to be something Covid related and in a way it is but the twists in this were perfect.
Firstly the "Ninja" attacker and although at first you get the impression of something unatural about him he is not unvunerable.
I really appreciated that they didn't use fake "hershy" blood they also made sure that the injuries look real without looking cartoonish.
I don't want to say much more as I don't want to give away any of the twists because they were so unexpected and worked perfectly.
I should really have given this a 10 out of 10 but nothing in life is perfect.
Warnings (2019)
Not bad...not great.
Ususal thing, group of friends staying in a house in the middle of nowhere. No phone service etc very standard plot line.
The charactors weren't bad and even though we had the usual drinking session it was refreshing that there wasn't the standard women in skimpy outfits and sex scenes just for the sake of it.
Acting not too bad.
Jump scapes and some decent enough bloodiness.
But over all just "not too bad" and not too great.
The worst big was what was the ending? I don't want to add spoilers but the end was just who/what and why.
Thats all I can say but I have to use a certain minimum amount and just can't think of anything more to say about this so so film.
Isolation (2005)
Shockingly good!
Did not expect anything good so was pleasantly surprised when this turned out to be a really good film.
Its set on an authentic farm so is very realistic and although the lighting is dark its also very well lit so you can see whats happening.
I'd say that its not a big budget film but whatever the budget was they've managed to create some great scenes.
Although a lot of the dead animals are just props I think for a small amount of people the "animal" scenes maybe a bit upsetting but since we all know it's fake it shouldn't really bother people.
The acting was also excellent so that also makes a change.
So all in all a really good film.
Hollows Grove (2014)
Bog Standard.
I think all of the budget went on paying for Lance Henriksen to appear in this film even though it was just for a couple of scenes. The production value is fine the acting for what is needed for this basic film is fine but in the end it's nothing but a pretty standard found footage film, a few jump scares, lots of noise off camera etc.
Even the classic line of "Film Everything" was used.
I'm suposed to say more to take this up to over the required character count but there really isn't much more I can say as it's just a so so film so here are some random words. Sad, boring, pointless etc etc.
Nope (2022)
What a shame.
I resisted using the word "nope" in my title but this is definately a big nope from me.
A slow start which is fine apart from the fact for the most part a lot of what was said was so low I struggled to hear what they were saying.
Like many I was expecting so much and got so little.
I did like the frozen cloud bit that sure got me going "ooo" and the way the alien flew around at first was organic it reminded me a bit of sting ray. Then we had the big reveal and it was boring. So fake, it looked like grey trash bags stretched over wire, then when it changed its shape it was just so so. Even the "tendrils" extening from I presume its square mouth looked like plastic.
People go on about the shoe standing up in the scene with the insane monkey meaning something and to me all it means is that because the young boy was so rivited on that it meant he didn't make eye contact with the monkey and that was why he was saved and of course the whole point of the alien is not making eye contact...but did the grey trash bag alien even have eyes?
Did the sister actually sew all those wind dancers? I really can't be bothered to watch it again but I'm pretty sure at one stage she's at a sewing maching making these things in the space of a few days. Then even knowing how the alien shuts down all electronics when they expect to catch it on a hand cranked camera her job was to monitor the computer monitors...the very things which will be the first things to shut down.
As for the cinamatographer at the end, having seen the sort of film clips he enjoyed which showed life and death battles between animals he sacrificed himself for his own reasons and to leave behind the film of himself as he's sucked up into the alien knowing the alien will spit it out and that film will be his legacy.
It was ok when it should have been amazing.
The Hunted (2013)
I knew it!
Absolute rubbish!
You could almost forgive them if they were a bunch of film students trying their best it was written by the main actor who should stick to his acting as his writing and plot line are tedious at best.
Plot line, 2 men in a dark wood trying to record enough footage for a show, lots of cracking wood, screams in the distance and a scary story about an abused woman.
Behind the Sightings (2021)
Just don't!
Cleaning a public toilet would be scarier than this. Rubbish acting, rubbish plot and since I've made it to the 43min mark and giving up I can't guarantee it but I'm pretty sure it will be a rubbish ending.
Halloween Party (2019)
Surprisingly not bad at all.
Some good jump scares an interesting twist to a standard Halloween plot line and even more surprising is that even though you get the standard nerds and jocks they're all actually reasonably likeable.
Cosmos (2019)
Not too bad..not good either.
At first I was impressed as even though I suspected this was a low budget movie it felt better quality than most. The low budget was mainly in the lack of locations, effects etc and the actors weren't that bad in fact they were quite relatable so I ended up being suckered into watching the whole film mainly in the desperation that something unique would happen and although something happened it wasn't anything I wasn't expecting.
I think they were trying to get the same sort of build up as we get in the Close Encounter film but its not worked. Which means we have at least 90 mintues that could be cut and in the remaining 40 mins they could have done the plot line more justice.
I will say that there seemed to be a hidden secret between two of the charathers and I thought it was a Bromance...I was wrong.
So for the budget and acting this film actually surpassed a lot of other bargain bin films and I think everyone shows potential as long as they can look at this film and see where they went wrong as much as where they went right.
A Gruta (2020)
Zero redeeming qualities.
Bad acting, no plot line, predictable, bad dubbing, no horror no nothing. I don't even know if there is any decent ending as I tollerated this clap trap for about an hour before I gave up.
Suburban Nightmare (2004)
Not bad at all.
I'm so used to watching shockingly bad films what when one comes along thats pretty decent or basically not so crappy it makes a nice change
It's basically a couple who's relationship seems to be based on the fact they both love to kill and as the evening progresses they get more and more angry with each other and the fight to the death is on.
The Call (2020)
High Hopes, DASHED!
As soon as I saw Tobin Bell and Lin Shayne in this I had high hopes that this was going to be a good movie, I hope they got paid enough for them to appear in this stinker of a movie!
The saving grace is that I hadn't wasted any money paying to see this at the cinema, I guess it's something we should thank 2020 for!
Don't bother, just bad.
Wszyscy moi przyjaciele nie zyja (2020)
Fun and gory at the same time.
I'm actually shocked that this turned out to be a rather fun romp of sex and bloody death both accidentally and on purpose.
Ground Zero (2010)
A stinker.
I do enjoy a good "bad" movie and this is just bad. The only reason it's got 2 stars is that I've just left a review for an even worse film.
Give it a miss go do some house cleaning it will be a better use of your time.
Basement (2010)
Just don't bother.
If I could give a minus number for this film I would.
It's not even bad enough to be good so don't watching it thinking you're going to be enjoying a bad movie it's just bad with no redeeming qualities.
House Hunting (2012)
Not bad at all.
This film is also known as "The Wrong House".
I normally only leave a review if a film is so bad I wouldn't want anyone else to waste precious time watching it but this one is pretty decent.
Basically 2 families turn up to view a house where the previous owners had lost their home to foreclosure and what happens to the prospective buyers is all because of what happened to the previous family.
Very much a psychological/spiritual gorefest which doesn't actually disapoint.
In this case most of the characters are unlikeable which is deliberate and part of the back story.
Mayday (2019)
Wooden!
There is no way this film was made in 2019! If it had been made in the 80ties for TV on a tiny budget I may have been a bit more forgiving but to be a new film there is no excuse for this utter tripe!
I did recognise, faintly a couple of the actors and the male lead at least tried his best but honestly I've seen less wooden acting at my kids school play.
Special effects, sad, plot line, predictable it's not even "so bad it's good" it's just bad.
Play or Die (2019)
Just bad not even a good bad.
Just rubbish, from the stilted acting to the confusing plotline.
I never expect much from this sort of film and I guess in the end it at least delivered that, no much at all. So give it a miss.
Island Zero (2018)
A very decent film!
I'd almost given up trying to find even a semi decent film on Amazon to watch but this one seemed to have had some money spent on it which means actors who can actually act and a sound track which is crisp and clear so you can actually hear what they're saying.
An interesting plot, not fast paste but atmosperic and with enought twists to the plot to keep you interested.
The Screaming Silent (2020)
I fell asleep.
I didn't actually fall asleep but I was close to it a couple of times.
Give it a miss there is nothing redeemable about this film.