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Poker Face (2023)
Six Stars and Sliding...
Off to a great start with the first episode and some of the major talent such as Brody and an original concept -to a point.
I am eight episodes in and sadly after a terrific start, it falls into a formula that keeps repeating itself. The notion that she is being pursued by big, bad baddies seems to have all but fallen away and the show becomes a cross between The Fugitive and Columbo. Its the same thing every episode. No matter where Lyonne's character ends up, there is a murder. We are shown everything in the first 20 minutes and Lyonne's Charlie is left to figure it out in the second half.
Of course there is her 'special power', which for whatever reason is not even used in some episodes. The whole schtick was entertaining once or maybe twice, but after that...yawn...
Lyonne's talents are wasted here and the lack of originality in the scripts and stories is unforgivable. This just falls into the middle of the road 8 p.m. And 9 p.m. Schlocky who-gives-a-flying-fig Cop-Doctor-Lawyer drudgery with a minor twist. I suspect by the end of the first season my rating will drop another point or two.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Perhaps the most derivative thing I've ever watched.
The story, the characters, the individual scenes and even the shots within the scene have all been lifted from somewhere else. Does the writer and director think that no one has ever watch Star Wars E,4?!?!
That said, its watchable and there are some good moments and scenes but the plot holes are Star Destroyer sized. I mostly sat there identifying where scenes and shots were lifted from other movies.
Production values are terrific and there is an abundance of eye candy of all sorts. It all gets a bit jerky and comes off the rails when you recognize the director is copying from How to Train Your Dragon, mixed with a bit of Game of Thrones.
The super human female combatant trope is getting a bit old and Snyder goes for more than one here. Sadly the introduction of the Nemesis character feels awkward and pointless and to put. Hounsou's character in a gladatorial setting for his introduction was a bit too on the nose.
But hey, if you like Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey story line, mixed in with The Seven Samurai, a Star Wars origin story and comic book like violence, then sure, go for it. Just remember to turn your brain off as soon as you get past the opening credits.
The Shepherd (2023)
Awful, Awful and Yes, Awful
Don't give too much credence to the Disney paid shills who leave 9 and 10 point reviews based on the point form 'talking points' they are given: Its pretty bloody awful, especially if you know the story and have been listening to the Xmas eve readings for +40 years. The technical mistakes are numerous. The variations from the original story are pointless and in good Disney fashion, it suffers from 'diversity disease' by creating characters in races and genders who were not a part of the story.
The animated sequences are average to poor with badly rendered star fields and unrealistic aircraft movements.
Sadly Travolta is two generations too old for the role he is playing and the beard is unforgivably inaccurate. Though the book character is Irish, they at least had the decency to make Travolta Canadian and not an American in the RAF.
Worst of all is that the strength of the story is dependent on the main character's internal dialogue and emotional struggle. Here we get none of it except for a few seconds of badly acted facial contortions. We also loose the backstory to the Travolta character entirely, the phone calls and speculations of the main character after he lands and sadly they opt for a cheesy one liner to explain the Travolta character's presence. Why they changed the Joe character from corporeal to illusory is without justification and changing the tone of the story to cheap and one dimensional
p.s. Dear poster artist: Vampires have two tail booms and two vertical stabilizers and rudders. Yuck.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Film Making for the Goldfish Generation
All sizzle, no steak. There is no meaningful story, or arc for anyone here. Its just 'bank, bank', 'run, run', 'hit, hit'.
Always been a Tom fan and Hayley is beautiful, but this film is just cartoonish nonsense. The supposed storyline is all about a MacGuffin; a key that everyone wants, but seemingly no one knows what it is for. There is something scary called the 'Entity' which knows everything about everyone and what they are going to do, but then that notion gets dropped and we get another actions sequence that accomplishes nothing.
Confused by the way they have the Ethan character seemingly confused at times and then scared, even cowardly at others. If this is an attempt to add depth, it fails badly. The whole thing is just a cliched popcorn muncher for those who don't need characters, story or meaning. Sorry, that's not me.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Too Long, Too Boring, Too Bad.
It feels like this is the kind of film you get when you hand dull, unimaginative people a cool toy: They make a lot of noise that doesn't go anywhere. I just don't care about anyone or anything in this movie. It has no heart, no engagement; its just chase scene, after chase scene, each one more ridiculous than the last.
The makers throw in plot devices like a dead kid, a broken marriage and the end of a career, but none of it seems to help make this an engaging story. The jokes don't land and a couple of legacy characters and former top shelf actors don't add anything of value to it. Even the new version of 'Short Round' is flat and dull. The efforts to make the cast diverse and inclusive are clumsy at best, but this is now the social requirement apparently. Yawn...
The only thing that moved me at all was the closing sequence back in Indy's apartment. I was saying the old lines out loud before the actors did and it had a touching feel to it. Too bad nothing else in the film did.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Love it and Hate it.
Great performances by the key cast members in an original presentation of unoriginal ideas. In structure it is a very conventional 'Heroes Journey' with all of the required elements of the reluctant hero, her quirky new friends and an ever growing, life threatening challenge. Some very cute moments and ideas, such as the 'everything bagel', but it ran out of ideas after an hour and just relied on never ending jumpcuts of combat scenes. As such, it could have been cut down to one hour instead of its totally unnecessary 2:20. Credits to the editor for the massive amount of work in putting this together, but after the first hour, the story did not advance at all and the scene after scene after scene of pointless fights got tedious and boring.
There was also a problem with the premise of saving the infinite universes. I suppose the key character did, but the issue sort of fell off the edge of the table and was not addressed. If you have to blow up the death star to save the galaxy, then you need to show the death star being blown up. You don't go straight to the awards ceremony without showing us what happened.
So ya, some great stuff and a lot of tedious, pointlessness.
Tár (2022)
Pretentious and Self Conscious
Really feels like someone had a need to impress someone with high falutin words, analogies and dialogue. Ick. As much as I love Blanchett's work, watching her try to mouth the high brow dialogue is painful, boring and at times almost laughable.
The story presents innuendo and accusations about Tars behaviour and character without ever confirming them. We are to assume the veracity of them? Does she, or doesn't she? Does she fall from grace based on just the accusation or is she guilty of the actions?
What makes it even harder to watch is that I can't help but see Blancett acting. She seems so self conscious and obvious in delivering her lines and infusing them with over the top drama. Obfuscation, deflections, etc. At best it comes across as awkward and deliberate as in 'Look at my Oscar worthy performance'.
The Fabelmans (2022)
Nope. Nope and Nope.
Unengaging and disappointing. It is a truism that a lawyer who defends themselves in court has a fool for a client. A similar thing can be said about a director who makes a film about himself. I found it silly, clumsy and not at all insightful into what made one of the greatest film directors ever. The first third comes off like an episode of 1950s Leave it to Beaver, or the Dick Van Dyke Show in that it is cartoonish.
It seems that the major family event is marital issues. Yawn. Then the kid gets picked on in school. Yawn. And these are supposed to give us insight into what shaped this man? They don't. The family and school dramas are very low level and passe.
The high school grad with the big bully break down scene is just absurd in how unrealistic it is.
There certainly are stand out performances by Hirsh and. Williams, but even these are not enough to hold this lumpy mess together. The film comes off as lazy and clumsy covered in 'who cares?' sauce.
Elvis (2022)
It's a Bit of a Mess
I enjoyed some of it. I was blown away by Butler's portrayal of Elvis and Hanks' take on Parker is cartoonish and quite awful.
Go to YouTube and find a Parker interview. The Hanks version of Parker has a silly voice that does not resemble Parker in any way. I almost expected the film character to start twirling the ends of his thin black moustache.
With Luhrmann its always a bit of a crap shoot. He can be dynamic, original, creative and a total flop, ala Australia. With this film, it almost feels like he bit off more than he could chew. The early part of the film feels like a series of almost unconnected vignettes as he tries to fit in all the puzzle pieces to make a recognizable picture. Its a bit messy.
Butler's portrayal is quite amazing, if a bit too feminine in its energy. He is a little too thin, with a bit too much feminine makeup throughout. That said, he walks a very effective line between imitation and embodiment. Bravo on a great portrayal.
In contrast to the outstanding work on costume, sets, locations, and period portrayals, the scene with the 707 airliner taking off as a metaphor for Elvis's death is cheap and cheesy. The animation is terrible and more properly belongs in a 'C; list film. Shame on them.
That said, the final act of the film did have emotional impact and I finished it feeling sad for the man whose hits I enjoyed firsthand in my youth.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
2:27 Too Long
Hard to describe just how bad this thing is. Its a franchise killer. The dialogue is truly awful, it lacks anything like a coherent story and you could drive a herd of dinos through the plot holes. Example: A C-119 Flying Boxcar cruising at 200 mph is attacked in the air by flying dinos which rip the airplane apart. Other than a diving peregrine, nothing in nature flies that fast. There is one ejection seat in the airplane and its not for the pilot. Huh? This type of airplane never had any ejection seats. Poor Claire is ejected out over snow covered mountains and lands in a tropical jungle. Its all beyond silly and unforgiveable.
This whole film seems more concerned with diversity of characters (badass Asian woman, badass African American woman, etc) than it does with story and dialogue. The lines these poor women are expected to delivery are so corny that that they almost choke when trying to deliver them.
The whole thing is sprinkled with lame self referential lines and scenes that splat on the floor like bad jokes. The writers and producers forgot what the films were truly about and defaulted to Indiana Jones rip off scenes and ludicrously evil, moustache twirling cartoon characters.
Nothing about this film works and the creators and backers should be ashamed of themselves. Yuck.
The Lost City (2022)
REally Bad Rip OFF
I was going to rate it at 5, but took off 2 points for the stupid post credits scene. Absurd, insulting and not funny -that scene for sure, but could apply to most of the film as well.
Bad Rip Off? Romancing the Stone of course. This film is the manifestation of so much that is wrong with the movie business these days. Bullock is cute, but in trying to look 35 when she is 55 sort of works, but sort of doesn't. The DIE (Diversity, Inclusion, Equity) casting is painfully obvious and does not do anyone any favours. Black? Check. Asian? Check. Gay? Check. Obese? Check. Yawn... I pay for entertainment, not social justice agendas.
A few good lines, a few good scenes, that sadly stand out as good against a tapestry of boring, plagiarized, trying too hard and failing miserably.
Pitt is classic, but his role and character are insultingly betrayed by the credits scene. Radcliffe is a moustache twirling bad guy who is suitably overplayed. For the rest, give it a big miss.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
S1 = 8, S2 = 3 Yuck.
Sure woulda been nice if S2 had a story. Stuff happens, but its like, 'who cares?' Zero investment in the characters, legacy or new. I am a life long ST and SW guy, having watched TOS in first run. Picard S2 sucks and that is being kind. Lots of death and impending death themes, intended, I suppose to give the story some gravitas, but it just doesn't work. For the most part I can forgive bulldozer sized plot holes if there is good dialogue and acting and I get invested, but here it just doesn't work. Why are these characters dying? There is no rationale or explanation for it all. It seems to get worse as each episode unfolds, culminating in a whole bunch of heavenly, spacey grandiose music that seems intended to make you forget that almost nothing happens, other than killing off characters for no reason. Skip it.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022)
Thank you
Just watched the first episode. Loved it, loved it, loved it! Best incarnation of Trek since the 2009 movie reboot. It feels like they distilled and concentrated the best elements of TOS, added some new flavours to it and cooked it up just right. It is wonderfully optimistic, simplistic, funny, visually gorgeous, with all kinds of new complexities to the characters, both new and old. Its also a little corny ala TOS, but it has some of the best Trek dialogue ever: "I'm all ears.." This from a guy who watched TOS in first run back in 1966 and just rediscovered my childish sense of wonder.
Big thanks to Akiva Goldsman and team for truly understanding Star Trek and to Anson Mount for his incredible portrayal of Pike. He may just have made the top of the list for my all time favourite ST captain.
Being in my senior years. It feels like a part of my life has come full circle. Weird, but true. Thank you for this great gift.
The Power of the Dog (2021)
Doesn't Do It For Me
Do not conflate slow with meaningful, deep or even entertaining. Its a yawner with a few interesting elements, but its trying way too hard to be artsy/commercial. It reminds me of being in school and having a teach foist a poem on the class simply because it meant something to them personally and then they insist it is a 'classic'.
As much as I appreciate Cumberbatch's works and talents, his attempt at an American accent is clumsy and self conscious. I know what Montana sounds like, and this is not it.
Sadly 'Governor' Keith Carradine comes across more like Penny's father from the Big Bang Theory and far less than Wild Bill from Deadwood.
No idea what is up with the parents of the lead characters. This aspect of the story sits there like a lump of slightly smelly mud that serves no purpose and is never woven into the story.
You can save yourself a couple of hours by paying attention to the voice over in the intro. It tells you what is going to happen and why. The next two plus hours are just a long slow train to where you already know you are going.
When I find myself checking my watch several times to figure out how long I have to sit there to satisfy my OCD need to complete, you know it bad.
Overall the film comes across as 'Eat your brussel sprouts; they are good for you'. Ah, no thank you. Food can be both nutritious and delicious. So can films. And this on sadly lacks the latter.
The Revenant (2015)
Not Buying It
Leo crawling through snow. Leo crawling through water. Leo crawling through mud. Leo crawling through angst. Endlessly. How much of this can one viewer take? Yes its gritty. Yes its gory. Yes its violent. And yes, it is 100% predictable, which means it is not very entertaining. Not for me anyway. The characters are manipulated, the bear is obviously digital and the dialogue is pure 21st century style. Some good performances by DiCaprio and Hardy, but so one note. I thought Gleeson was a poor choice for his role as he seems to lack the power of leadership. "Inspired by True Events" is the lamest way to try to buy credibility. Do yourself a favour and watch Man in the Wilderness or Jeremiah Johnson instead.