OneSentenceReview Reviews

Child Machine (2022)

a bit weird posting the first english review for Child Machine - I hope no Ai is reading this...

[8/10 · 9 February 2024]

..but I enjoyed watching this little movie: First off, of course the narrative is known sort of (Dangers of AI) but, if you resist watching Spoiler-Trailers or reading Spoilers you'll enjoy the enfolding of an interesting Story + quirky characters, which will leave you thinking afterwards.

With a (perhaps) comparably quite low budget (*) Rain Rannu managed to create a modern mix between Mary Shelleys' Frankenstein aka "The Modern Prometheus", Roman Polanskis' Dance of the Vampires and Johann Wolfgang von Goethes' The Sorcerer's Apprentice" ("Der Zauberlehrling") which all strangely fit our nowadays Ai dilemma although all above written 200y earlier.

Coming across a bit slow at times I'd have wished for a more dynamic, accelerating storyline with maybe a bit more twisted plot, but the fabulous 'lost places' like setting in the (presumably) Estonian or somewhere Baltic Cold- or II War Bunker and the great landscape.

Make sure you don't miss the epilogue of Jaan Tallinn, who is an Estonian billionaire computer programmer and investor known for the development of Skype and file-sharing application FastTrack/Kazaa.

(*I simply assume it was only a low budget necessary with 1 derelict bunker in the woods, 1 Tent, 2 Server Racks, 2 Drones and 10 actors ;) nevertheless and even more so, this is a well done great slow burner - just don't expect any Special effects or CGI, think more Theater Play, in a good way )

Schnick Schnack Schnuck (2015)

Here's the 5th of only 4 reviews, of which 3 totally missed the point...

[9/10 · 19 November 2023]

...in my opinion. Strangely enough these were the 3 oldest reviews after release, and only the last one from 2020 I can wholeheartedly agree on - he understood the intention of this film.

As a regular "Hetero Honk" (word from the movie), I'd add that One could indeed say it's a manifest for:

• making Love in a sensual way (many could learn from),
• Women to be allowed to come too, be it on film or IRL (..Hashtag "MeToo" is already taken, meeh)
• Acceptance of the preferences and physiques of regular humans, and that everyone can and should get along with each other well
• Polyamory in whatever form (insert-List-here)

and a Manifest against:

• the usual male-centered 14min mainstream P0rn clip, made for men to come quick (and women not at all),
• the unnatural, unachievable body-image held high in social media creating rising psychological problems (relatively new issue),
• Jealousy and serial-monogamy and its Drama (relatively old issue).

I would Not describe this little movie as P0rn, but a film about the delight of human sexual spontaneity as it's best.

May it inspire many!

Respect for all the brave Actors and the Makers, for successfully achieving the tricky balance-act between all the sexual preferences involved without alienating nor putting off Anyone.

PS: and don't forget to watch the OutTakes, was it either before/after the Credits, they are great too :)

Territoriya (2015)

Really impressive piece of Cinematography to indulge in on a big screen (preferably with cold weather outside)

[8/10 · 29 March 2023]

I agree to the wise words of the (current) 4 other reviewers, amazing Cinematography, Awe-inspiring, intriguing, charming, perfect antidote to the usual Hollywood pap, great story Also the 60ties soviet era props and machinery was quite nice to see.

Although 2,5h long I would have liked a little bit less guessing in the story and a bit more fast paced conversation and clarifying dialogue (guess it wouldnt have interrupted the scenery and atmosphere). Why was the blonde woman with the ExTanker on a road trip with the tractor, and where to? What was the (long)bearded accommodation managers female assistant all about? Etc

Dear imdb on a personal note, and given my UserName, why do some (me) always get the message "Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.", when somehow others on here (see reviews everywhere) get away with submitting braindead 3-line-reviews (no idea how that works and why they don't have to write more than me) Also, some Users really dislike your unsolicited Trailer-AutoPlay (with no off-switch to chose - even serves trailers without a way to find out the title!?), and I am right to assume a lot on here really dislike your Black-White-Contrast-Eye-Torture while on our TV-Couch at night. So long.

Bite the Dust (2013)

Good Mix of Slapstick, TheatricPlay and small town social study...

[8/10 · 26 March 2023]

...with the backdrop of a looming weathergeddon, quirky over-the-top but brilliant characters full of storylines engulfing in many entertaining conversations - for me the english subtitles were necessary, certainly easier without, but I must say it was good fun all along and had a a good middle twist and surprising end.

What's not to like - give it a Go - especially recommended on a rainy evening ;)

Hi IMDB Bot, on a personal note, and given my UserName, why do some (me) always get the message "Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.", when somehow others on here (see reviews everywhere) get away with submitting braindead 3-line-reviews (no idea how that works and why they don't have to write more than me) Also please tell your Masters: we Users dislike your unsolicited Trailer-AutoPlay (with no switch to chose), and we reeaaallly dislike your Black-White-Contrast-Eye-Torture while on our TV-Couch at night. So long.

Coyote: The Mike Plant Story (2017)

A glimpse from what was the 70ties era when sailing across oceans was still something new...

[9/10 · 24 March 2023]

...to succeed, the latter Plant seemed to have been, and simply followed his dreams.

Also I had to put a newer review after that 7 from October 2020 by some righteous moody troll finger-pointing at this Branson-type GoGetter.

Watched this for free on YT @FreeMoviesNow after discovering Mike Plants story and currently restored Boat on YT @TheDuracellProject which was the second boat Plant built, presented in the second third of this well made documentary.

Nowadays rarely any official regatta is involved nor even mentioned in the non-marine-media any more (and high-end competitive sailing still mostly an uppercrust posh sport for poloshirt-wearing part of the better-off part of population, like tennis, another relic dying the public-interest-death no millenial is interested in any more). Today instead literally all the 7 seas are full of private single handers or couples doing round-the-world without anyone public taking notice apart from their viewers/subscribers if they YT-it themselves for others to watch and maybe being sponsored/crowdfunded via Patreon or else. These are already legion and more than anyone can count; "anyone and their cat" (or dog) can (and does) go on a shoestring budget around the world on their (both cheap or expensive) boats.

So baseline nice to have this backflash to not so far but certainly different times, with interesting comments of relatives, friends, and icons of the marine sport, profession and trade.

Ecstasy (2017)

Slow Burning Art Film - as the reviews show one either loves or hates it...

[6/10 · 7 February 2023]

...but in any case need to have the patience to see it to the (interesting) end - avoid the spoilers for that of course.

First 30min or so one might find it hard to get through but the characters grow with time, and the erotic visuals bridge the strange (not very sense making) monologues. And the landscapes of (suppose) Nevada empty desert are stunning too.

Generally while watching I thought this feels like a Werner Herzog film without (the usually interesting Herzog-) narration but with artfully filmed (not appearing cheap or just exposing nudity) pretty stunning naturally beautiful looking females. Not spoiling but as a precaution for (cis)women thinking of watching, unfortunately for them there is only more or less one male to look at in the flesh, which is the director himself. So apart from film art students of any gender, it might visually be more suited for a male audience (or couples) who will enjoy watching - if patience and time is no issue :)

Curse of the Mayans (2017)

Some lowbudget movies get better when you watch on through a certain length....

[2/10 · 21 January 2023]

...unfortunately this one gets worse by the minute from around 40min onwards, until the agonizingly boring and pointless crescendo of the last 16min when you wish it could end sooner.

This is not made up to drag it down, just my thoughts while enduring this, hoping it would somehow pickup and suddenly get a turn to the positive (entertaining film-making).

All in all there were many potential opportunities to make this better, into an entertaining horror flick a la the descent, or with romance, action, artefacts and humor like the ol'classic romancing the stone, or pure short paced action a la Tomb Raider, Raiders of the lost arc or Uncharted. No, this one just got lamer by the minute. Yes I got the idea what the writers got in mind, and appreciate the attempted twist of mayan prophecy and the connection to the world at present day, but - it simply failed to entertain.

(the most shocking sequence and proof of a lack of idea? Was a backflash to a 40s conversation between the main protagonists about the evil beings, just a few minutes earlier in the film. How boring can something get when you are already bored)

All in all I dont write many negative reviews, just vote, but this annoyed me a bit. Have to watch something better now.

Cute Little Buggers (2017)

Oryctolagus Cuniculus reproducing in the civil parish Deddington of Oxfordshire

[10/10 · 21 January 2023]

(...and not reproducing among each other)

I too have given this a high rating because the many low (non-review-) Ratings are quite sad and dragging it down to a rating number it and its film-making artisans certainly don't deserve.

At least you see from the so far 13 reviews who could be arsed to write that more than half enjoyed this flick, as did I after reading the (non spoiler) ones - good I did.

Probably a lot of the negatives are non-UK ratings who don't get British humor - or simply dislike it. (Australians get it but I think I'm not wrong to think many americans don't know the term "Taking the piss" - which matters quite a bit in the film :)

But hey, this is seriously witty and great fun, acting is great (not wooden nor amateurish as often elsewhere) and I bet all involved had a real roll making it (although seems Rose didnt want to be mentioned here on the movie page)

Yes sure it has low level effects, of course it has on a low budget - why people criticize this escapes me - every film maker starts on a small budget, but here we have an example where the casting and writing was so witty and good that you simply forget about the lack of expensive effects. There will be many moments where you'll laugh out loud spontaneously which doesn't happen on many indie flicks nowadays unfortunately. And yes there are Boobs and babes, but for the babes watching there are Hunks too. And Rabbits, Guns, Knives, Blood.

And fishy Aliens cursing properly Bri'ish. What's not to like?

PS: don't move to Oxfordshire (yet) - the Womenfolk participating looks rather unusual for this part of England - or Deddington is a pleasant exception.

Moments of Clarity (I) (2016)

Big Fun FeelGoodComedy with great Laughs...

[9/10 · 28 October 2022]

(Edit: ...and this flick has actually has gotten awards and nominations on several festivals as I read after I wrote the review below)

The brilliant acting, camera and hilarious twists of the story, not to mention the grown-up twisted humor all adds up to something which made it totally fun watching; great ride all along.

I haven't read up the production background yet, as I just finished watching after having been so positively surprised by this nice feelgood movie full of laughs but also with a message.

So I'm writing this quick (currently third) review while the screen just went dark and I reflect on it, and as this 2016 film deserves (much) more than two (2!) reviews. Common folks, write a more reviews on such indie film gems and less on the mainstream crap (I often think who adds a 679th review and thinks anyone is interested in reading, but, I digress)

Anyways, a few last words on the missused term "dark comedy" - the word "dark" should imo be better used on dark stuff, like "bad things happening to people but still a comedy" and other terms should be found for all these other great films which are not DARK, as this one - which actually cheers people up watching it. But hey, guess it won't happen.

And now Watch it and have fun :)

Characterz (2016)

"Come inside Have Fun"

[9/10 · 24 October 2022]

...as one of the theme park slogans says - yep, "Watch it Have Fun" isn't an empty promise, you will - if you like good laughs, aimed at a grown audience with brain (many movies don't require the latter) You won't get bored and you'll like the Character(z...+ the actors - and some epic ones icons of cinema are in it too!)

So I clearly liked this sweet film (and not only because I had the questionable pleasure to earn less than minimum wage as a furry oversized bear in a supermarket a loong loooong time ago) A little message for life is also included - you'll know when you've watched it. Write it in your review :)

...one question still remains for me: why has this little gem from 6y ago only one(1) review in here? (Before I wrote this there was just one) No clue. Hope this helps so some more people watch it and have a good time.

bestefreunde (2014)

Great acting and quirkyness which makes you want to...

[6/10 · 29 September 2022]

...watch it to the end, when you might feel the storyline could have been written better with a few more twists and less unreasonable situations. You'll most likely think that/how you would have written it better, or acted different in some situations. Missed story opportunities. Something(s) seem to be missing in the end. Unresolved issues.

Still entertaining to watch, if you'll find it with subtitles, or understand german.

Apart from most of the adult great actors the biggest good surprise was the brilliant acting of the young girl, and some great punchlines she trew.

As I didnt see any other english reviews I thought I write this dull review, maybe someone reads it sometime.

PS: not considering this a spoiler, but if you're attracted to the opposite gender and expect to get an adequate interesting storyline embracing it, as the main protagonist is attracted to women, the I don't think you'll like it.

Clowning (2022)

If you're into crime dramas you'll like it...

[6/10 · 21 August 2022]

...not too much of 'romance'. With just 2 conflicting reviews (both correct though) I had to watch myself, and eventually write this..

The good: nice to see (relatively) new actors on screen, playing well (enough) to keep you watching.

You feel with the characters.

The bad: the write-up...boy did that drag and missed opportunities for juust a biit moore twists and turns in a script? Or just make a film shorter if no ideas?

So, if you start watching and make it through the first 30-45min you just need to keep watching, it gets you somehow. And the end is important and has a twist.

Nuf said. And a little final wish - please more Clown movies (with maybe even a bit more Clowing)

Mad God (2021)

An animator less...

[3/10 · 25 July 2022]

...and just ONE skilled storywriter (at all) would have (maybe) created something worth watching. Like that - a waste of time. Except you prefer visuals without story, preferably on substances.

The Green Knight (2021)

Painful to watch,whatever weird message was intended...

[2/10 · 20 July 2022]

...failed to reach most viewers. No Heros quest, but a losers story - A grown man but weakling all over stumbles through the whole story, alongside strong females and fraile former strong men. Beautiful cinematography and good actors though. And a wise fox.

The Decline (II) (2020)

I thought I help out and leave some notes for others:

[7/10 · 4 June 2022]

Without being able to find not even a title description here ("the plot is unknown at this time"...in 2022...2y later?), and only one (!) review by somebody who doesn't seem to write much apart from one sentence ranting, I thought I help out and leave some notes for others what it's about (watch and build your own opinion)

Boll's documentary The Decline investigates the ever-growing overdose epidemic in North America, Vancouver as example.

In 2015 Boll opened Bauhaus Restaurant in the historic Gastown neighbourhood bordering the infamous downtown eastside that became the centre of the Vancouver opioid crisis and known for drug use, poverty, crime, mental illness, prostitution, and homelessness. Having a business in the area gave Uwe a close look at the rapid neighbourhood decline.

Uwe teamed up with local film directors Sean Patrick-Shaul and Kayvon Saremi to study the ever-growing overdose epidemic plaguing Vancouver and many other North American cities.

The Zohar Secret (2016)

Surely well meant but Loooong journey through the centuries...literally, as it dragged a bit

[4/10 · 28 February 2022]

Cought myself thinking while watching "a few friends at film school liking 12monkeys, CloudAtlas, OneFlewOverTheCookoosNest and DaVinciCode somehow got a big(ish) budget and let rip" ...well why not.

But how about dialogue,story etc?

And Comedy,reeally? Who laughed more than twice raise the hand...oh, all aslewp, well.

Although great environment/costumes/background/props/scenery the script & (missing) dialogue is just not entertaining enough for 2h runtime.

And doesnt always make sense either, but hey, what does.

Lapland Odyssey (2010)

Quirky silly-but-feelgood comedy which won't bore you...

[8/10 · 22 February 2022]

...just read the (unfortunately few) positive english reviews they are basically right and more eloquent written than mine. Good fun, good laughs with friends or to cheer you up alone,including un-predictable story turns hence will keep you watch it to the end, what does one want more?

The setting in middle finnland with its grim long dark winter but people totally used to it added a bit of insight how things can be up there (I've been there).

These negative english reviews (among the very few english ones in total (11) even now in 2022) bug me a bit, as there are sooo many reeally (really!) bad english films/comedies around and whe there's a foreign one, they let rip - why not relearn to laugh a little about "simple" jokes again?

The Man in the Hat (2020)

Wonderfully slow paced quirky art film..

[9/10 · 21 February 2022]

...which will surprise you each and every 5min or so with unexpected (or should I say impossible to expect) events - and it will make you smile all along the way IF you are openminded and up for new film style ideas, and a friend of the french countryside in summer (as no towns/cities are involved - don't think this qualifies as a spoiler)

Chasing the Present (2019)

Only "10s" what a laugh, the (only) other real review says it all...

[2/10 · 17 February 2022]

...you surely saw and read it as it sricks out among all the fake ones.

Another "help guide" for brittle people with money to be scared of irrational things their shrink can't sort.

How about a documentary about a materially UNsuccessful human, riddled with anxiety embarking on a worldwide journey of self inquiry?

Desperate Voyage (1980 TV Movie)

Well, one older of the very view seagoing films out there....

[7/10 · 8 February 2022]

...therefore something to keep on your boats' VHS shelve (or your laptop harddrive) for long night crossings. There might be some violence, rape, pillaging and boat damage involved, so this entertaining gem of a bygone era might make you watch the radar a bit more paranoid while and afterwards but will keep you awake for sure! Though a TV flic very good actors, having to cope with a bit of a dumb script, but entertaining as said and will not bore you (as many many modern movies definetly do!). Interestings boats, sailing and manouvers! I wish there would be more boating movies out there. And last but not least I can't hesitate to ask if I'm the only one thinking Lara Parker 1980 reminds me of Charlize Theron today?

Knights of Badassdom (2013)

Hell Yea! Who wouldn't give this some Love, common?

[10/10 · 19 January 2022]

...seriously fun, made with heart and soul and EPIC actors...you will be entertained, promised!

(...Boooo all you bad reviewers, go whine elsewhere - there are enough truely terrible films out there!)

Kill All Politicians (2017)

As Thomas meant it to be: Enganged Theater Play in a Room..

[8/10 · 12 December 2021]

...well acted sociological and psychological discurs into human more (or less) revolutionary (in)genious minds, partly under the influence of substances in the simple but gripping format of a one-room-theather play (isn't this the ancestor of all entertainment, a stage and actors)

Tainted Rain (2020)

Just having that sad (and fortunately rare) feeling..

[5/10 · 1 December 2021]

..that I wasted the time, as I wasn't prepared for that sort of movie.

I watched this as there was only one (positive) review, but no trailer on here which could have warned me.

The music didn't help to prevent me coming close to switching off (or the brink of madness ;)

However to comprehend the whole idea of the film you have to watch it in full otherwise it doesnt reveal its story.

If you're a social worker (for adults or children) or involved with mental health you will most likely enjoy this.

But don't watch it if you expect an endtime movie or a survivalist secenario (this is not meant as a spoiler, just necessary imo to prevent dissappointment)

Not meant as a plain negative review, as I know, realizing/producing a whole movie as a new film maker isn't easy; just as clarification for potential viewers, to prevent negative reviews due to the wrong expectation (like in my case)

Floyd on Spain (1992– )

The godfather of TV travel cooking?

[9/10 · 30 November 2021]

By accident I just stumbled across 30min of Keith Floyd discovering Majorca in a very pleasant ligtlhthearted manner eating and (roadside)cooking his path through the island - given this was screened in the 80'/90' before all the TvTravelCookerachies we are so used to nowadays he must be one of the pioneers of this TV-formate. Anyway, I found it very pleasant to watch, also with all the old cars and 90' style.

The Power of the Heart (2014)

Timeless lessons to reflect on (Why no other reviews?)

[9/10 · 29 November 2021]

For single people without own family/kids there might be a bit much examples of this kind at first, but don't fret if you watch it in full there are plenty of great nuggets of wisdom to ponder on and implement in one owns life.

The interviews with the various well known people like Coelho, Allende and the gripping tale of Ilibagiza alone make it well worth watching.

It's from 2014 or they didn't want to include more scientific stuff, so there is much more evidence around by now that the heart isn't just a muscle, but for example has a lot of nerve tissue etc which one might be tempted to look into after watching.