I loved the movie when I was a young adult, so I really wanted to like this prequel series. Sadly I didn't like it at all, though I finished watching it out of a sense of loyalty. The good things: visually it's beautiful, the puppets, costumes, props, the puppeteering, as are the music and the sound effects (slightly overdone maybe) and the voice acting. I liked the new characters, the new creatures, the new landscapes. Plot-wise they made some changes so that this story cannot fully coexist als a prequel with the original story only if you forgot what that was all about and only remembered the vaguest gist from it. These changes were probably needed to fill out 10 episodes but I do feel it was kinda lazy and maybe should have had more thought into it. Now it ended up in a classic good versus bad sword battle that seemed like it didn't belong in this world. However, the tone of the series is off from the beginning to the very end and that is my biggest complaint. This was extremely explain-y, there was no mystery and certainly nothing for the viewer to figure out for themselves. From the mysterious Ogra to the nefarious plans of the Skeksis - everything is explained immediately and in detail. It felt dumbed-down, like an overzealous fanfic. Also the Skeksis were much more talkative and loud - yes we get it, they're evil and disgusting, this was repeated and emphasized beyond any subtlety taking away any seriousness of their characters. The humour is also very different: more language based humour and things between characters, like them getting dirty things in their face, less original visual jokes like the original.
The magic of nostalgia is broken when the tone is so completely off.
Just like many franchises expanding on their original work they all seem to focus on visuals and invest huge amounts on that while the story and plot are last priority while those should be FIRST priority and it would cost nothing more to give it a little more thought. Please stop ruining beloved classics with vapid fanficcy new work.
Reviews
5 Reviews
Forever
(2014–2015)
I want to like this, but I don't.
6 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I was looking for a show to watch awaiting new episodes of my favourite shows. I'm into shows like Suits, Homeland, House MD, Mr Robot, Bones and The Mentalist. I chose this because the blurb made me curious. I like the genius, quirky characters.
"Forever" offers an attractive male lead that I can look at for a while but why on Earth the annoying & weird British accent? Is it because he's supposed to be 200 years old? There is no reason in the story for this character to not speak American English. The only reason is that the makers think it will make him more distinguished. It doesn't. It grates and is one reason I'm going to quit this show after 4 episodes.
Then the story, there's 2 things going on: On the one hand the lead (I forget his name) is very clever and making all kinds of Sherlock- like deductions from a first glance. These insights are offered to his "Watson" who is a female cop slash mildly depressed widow. So nothing original there, and it's not really believable. His deductions are simply accepted which seems too easy and unrealistic to me. Police usually have all kinds of procedures/jurisdiction but they seem happy to ignore the rules when supersmart-weird doctor offers his conclusion. For instance in the way they gather evidence, I'm sure it's not according to the law how they do it. Also, how did he get this job without a current medical diploma? He tells people he studied in "Guam", in other words IF he has a diploma it's too old to be credible. Wouldn't his knowledge be a bit outdated, medical science having somewhat progressed in the last 180 years...?
The other angle of the show is the supernatural/mysterious stuff. The doctor is 200 years old or rather, he gets reborn after each death with a body roughly the same age and all his memories intact. This is explained very poorly. I understand they won't give away everything in the first 4 episodes but the "rules" of this miracle/curse are vague. Apparently he died first at age 35 and since then he's been 35? Doesn't age? Or resets to 35 each time he dies? Or are the intervals between his deaths so short that the aging isn't noticeable? He awakens each time intact with an adult, healthy body. But there are prominent scars - are they from "before" the curse started? The awakenings are in water - but it doesn't say if it's always in the same place or where or how his roommate knows to pick him up (without a phone and all). At the deathsite, we are to believe the body disappears, clothes and all, but at the awakenings site he is nude. Where are the clothes and why like this? Does he lose his tooth fillings too, every time? Or the contents of his digestive system? This bothers me.
He calls this miracle a curse, mostly because it makes it hard to have romantic relations. I don't understand this - it seems ungrateful. Who wouldn't want to live in a healthy body forever? Yes, it's hard when your loved ones don't have the same life expectancy. To say it crudely: the same goes for pets. Yet after our beloved dog dies, eventually we make peace with that fact. Maybe we even choose to have a new dog. We are told the doctor actively seeks death (lifting the curse), meanwhile comparing the pain levels of various ways to die in a sort of scientific method. So did he start seeking death also before his WW- II sweetheart or only after he lost her? I simply don't get his motive. Is he depressed? He doesn't seem depressed.
The doctor uses his personal experience of dying in several ways, in his work to establish cause of death in the morgue where he works. Somehow this grates also. He should be clever enough to get to the bottom of a case without relying on personal experience. Occasionally he even catches the bad guy by a kamikaze action (which is not very heroic, when you realize he's not in danger at all, and even makes you question his morality: it's an easy way to disarm a bad guy but it's also a death sentence dealt without a trial). It just reeks of poor, deus-ex-machina writing.
All in all, I'd say this show is a poor ripoff of Sherlock with a supernatural sauce if you're into that kind of thing. Oh yeah, there's also a super-bad-guy who's also immortal. Go figure.
"Forever" offers an attractive male lead that I can look at for a while but why on Earth the annoying & weird British accent? Is it because he's supposed to be 200 years old? There is no reason in the story for this character to not speak American English. The only reason is that the makers think it will make him more distinguished. It doesn't. It grates and is one reason I'm going to quit this show after 4 episodes.
Then the story, there's 2 things going on: On the one hand the lead (I forget his name) is very clever and making all kinds of Sherlock- like deductions from a first glance. These insights are offered to his "Watson" who is a female cop slash mildly depressed widow. So nothing original there, and it's not really believable. His deductions are simply accepted which seems too easy and unrealistic to me. Police usually have all kinds of procedures/jurisdiction but they seem happy to ignore the rules when supersmart-weird doctor offers his conclusion. For instance in the way they gather evidence, I'm sure it's not according to the law how they do it. Also, how did he get this job without a current medical diploma? He tells people he studied in "Guam", in other words IF he has a diploma it's too old to be credible. Wouldn't his knowledge be a bit outdated, medical science having somewhat progressed in the last 180 years...?
The other angle of the show is the supernatural/mysterious stuff. The doctor is 200 years old or rather, he gets reborn after each death with a body roughly the same age and all his memories intact. This is explained very poorly. I understand they won't give away everything in the first 4 episodes but the "rules" of this miracle/curse are vague. Apparently he died first at age 35 and since then he's been 35? Doesn't age? Or resets to 35 each time he dies? Or are the intervals between his deaths so short that the aging isn't noticeable? He awakens each time intact with an adult, healthy body. But there are prominent scars - are they from "before" the curse started? The awakenings are in water - but it doesn't say if it's always in the same place or where or how his roommate knows to pick him up (without a phone and all). At the deathsite, we are to believe the body disappears, clothes and all, but at the awakenings site he is nude. Where are the clothes and why like this? Does he lose his tooth fillings too, every time? Or the contents of his digestive system? This bothers me.
He calls this miracle a curse, mostly because it makes it hard to have romantic relations. I don't understand this - it seems ungrateful. Who wouldn't want to live in a healthy body forever? Yes, it's hard when your loved ones don't have the same life expectancy. To say it crudely: the same goes for pets. Yet after our beloved dog dies, eventually we make peace with that fact. Maybe we even choose to have a new dog. We are told the doctor actively seeks death (lifting the curse), meanwhile comparing the pain levels of various ways to die in a sort of scientific method. So did he start seeking death also before his WW- II sweetheart or only after he lost her? I simply don't get his motive. Is he depressed? He doesn't seem depressed.
The doctor uses his personal experience of dying in several ways, in his work to establish cause of death in the morgue where he works. Somehow this grates also. He should be clever enough to get to the bottom of a case without relying on personal experience. Occasionally he even catches the bad guy by a kamikaze action (which is not very heroic, when you realize he's not in danger at all, and even makes you question his morality: it's an easy way to disarm a bad guy but it's also a death sentence dealt without a trial). It just reeks of poor, deus-ex-machina writing.
All in all, I'd say this show is a poor ripoff of Sherlock with a supernatural sauce if you're into that kind of thing. Oh yeah, there's also a super-bad-guy who's also immortal. Go figure.
Suspiria
(1977)
not worth watching
31 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I wanted to see this movie because I love ballet. The summary sounded interesting so I thought I'd give it a chance, even though it's horror and from the 70ties (both bad signs).
Well I've rarely seen ballet been portrayed so poorly. Really this is not how a dance school works even if it is run by witches. Where do I start? Why does this girl even want to study there? It's inconceivable that you don't bring your own shoes to class. Why does she receive a costume but everyone in class is wearing a different outfit? No one ties their hair for class? The dancing is terrible and pointless. Everyone is doing their own exercise at the same time? In short: it's not worth your time if you are interested in dance movies.
Otherwise the plot is illogical but predictable at the same time. The interesting scenes are not worked out, the boring scenes just take forever. The acting is poor, the scary scenes aren't scary and the gory scenes are only funny because of the poor special effects. The music is really loud and jarring. The theme music just plays over and over. In contrast the dialogue is on a much lower volume so you can hardly understand what they're saying - oh yeah also because of the fake German accents.
I read here this is a classic. I did notice the scenes all lighted with different bright colours, I suppose it comes across as very artistic. It is also very obvious and makes the movie even more dated than it already is.
So, in short, you could give this movie a chance but I predict you will feel cheated of 98 minutes of your life.
Well I've rarely seen ballet been portrayed so poorly. Really this is not how a dance school works even if it is run by witches. Where do I start? Why does this girl even want to study there? It's inconceivable that you don't bring your own shoes to class. Why does she receive a costume but everyone in class is wearing a different outfit? No one ties their hair for class? The dancing is terrible and pointless. Everyone is doing their own exercise at the same time? In short: it's not worth your time if you are interested in dance movies.
Otherwise the plot is illogical but predictable at the same time. The interesting scenes are not worked out, the boring scenes just take forever. The acting is poor, the scary scenes aren't scary and the gory scenes are only funny because of the poor special effects. The music is really loud and jarring. The theme music just plays over and over. In contrast the dialogue is on a much lower volume so you can hardly understand what they're saying - oh yeah also because of the fake German accents.
I read here this is a classic. I did notice the scenes all lighted with different bright colours, I suppose it comes across as very artistic. It is also very obvious and makes the movie even more dated than it already is.
So, in short, you could give this movie a chance but I predict you will feel cheated of 98 minutes of your life.
Under the Dome
(2013–2015)
Under the Dome - increasingly annoyingly stupid people
21 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
(I've seen it up until S02E04)
I really want to like this series, because I am fond of the peculiarities of Stephen King's writing and because it has a promising premise. Many of the characters are predictable - a single look at them will tell you what typical SK role they're going to play. So far the show is very true to that, but otherwise it's getting rather boring and obnoxious. It's hard to take this show seriously.
The idea of the dome appealed to me. It's a philosophical premise that could have made an interesting series: if a group of random people is isolated from the outside world, this new state will require people to change roles and social positions. They will have to make new rules in order to survive and create stability in their group. The rules they need depend on the big question: will the dome ever lift? If so, the rules will be very different than if the dome is everlasting. Because if it's forever then their relation from the outside world is forever broken. They could make a whole new world with new rules for themselves depending on the new hierarchy and the possibilities offered to them inside the world. And if it's a temporary situation, they will be part of the normal world once more and will be held accountable according to US laws for their actions and choices. This should be the premise of the series, the big conflict and philosophical dilemma of: are we following the old rules, or are we making new rules?
Well, this does not come across at all. The people do worry about the social implications, their secrets and who is in a position of power, but they deal with it as if the dome has changed nothing AND still they won't be held accountable at any point. I'm so bored of that.
So what DO we have? Mainly, a lot of stupidity and plenty of supernatural phenomena to fluff the plot. Let's discuss the supernatural stuff first. After a while every episode goes like: the dome creates a supernatural phenomenon that causes problems. The evil characters will try to resolve it with religious fanaticism, aggression, lies, murder etc. The good characters follow their intuition or compassion or their cleverness in science and resolve it with a goody goody "the dome doesn't want us to be violent, we've got to work TOGETHER, no more deaths" and voilà, problem solved. The supernatural problems are completely unnecessary, and it feels like its only function is to churn out another episode that gets them nowhere on the whole.
An important theme is religion versus science in a survival setting. I was raised an atheist so it's never been a theme for me at all, I've never understood how people rely on the Biblical stories instead of rational and proved scientific solutions to problems. The religious fanatics' hypocrisy and them using un-Christian levels of aggression etc while forcing their faith upon others is something you'll often see in Stephen King work. It's getting really old, and over the top - yes we get it, religious people are stupid and passive while the science oriented people are clever and take a bit more initiative. I've seen it before and I've seen it done better.
The nature of the dome is mysterious and remains so. The series does not explain why it's there. Fine, an interesting mystery for the viewer. But it bothers me a lot that the people under the dome don't even try to research it at all, apart from a curious teenager the people just accept it. Very few are focused on finding ways to lift the dome, to destroy it or to escape it. It takes several episodes before someone thinks to try digging under it. Somewhere in an early episode the army throws a big bomb on it from the outside, that's practically the only attempt to open it up. Even after two weeks there's been very little research into what the dome is and how it could be lifted.
Anyway, the "clever" people aren't very clever either. Both the good and the evil characters are so very impractical, so self-centered and so wasteful that I'm rather surprised anyone is still alive at all after a few days. There is a complete lack of focus on survival. There is no tally up until two weeks in the dome, they have no idea about the number of people inside, alive or dead, or about the supplies. They're very wasteful with resources and continue to waste, pollute and destroy stuff out of malice, manipulation or sheer stupidity. People die, are murdered, simply for reasons of power while I would expect they would turn into "preppers" retreating with all possible resources into their forts.
The people complain early on that communications with the outside world are "cut off" but really, it's the phone, cable, internet and radio signals that are cut off. Also, no sound waves penetrate the dome. But there is NOTHING WRONG where light and visual signals are concerned. Why not set up a communications station on several points along the domes edge with big screens on both sides to communicate with the outside world. Apart from complaining a little about the lack of communication, a few days in they aren't trying very hard to communicate at all. Both the inside AND the outside people.
In short, these people trapped under the dome are mostly so stupid that you just want them to die. I'll keep watching to see if the writing gets any better but I'm not holding my breath.
I really want to like this series, because I am fond of the peculiarities of Stephen King's writing and because it has a promising premise. Many of the characters are predictable - a single look at them will tell you what typical SK role they're going to play. So far the show is very true to that, but otherwise it's getting rather boring and obnoxious. It's hard to take this show seriously.
The idea of the dome appealed to me. It's a philosophical premise that could have made an interesting series: if a group of random people is isolated from the outside world, this new state will require people to change roles and social positions. They will have to make new rules in order to survive and create stability in their group. The rules they need depend on the big question: will the dome ever lift? If so, the rules will be very different than if the dome is everlasting. Because if it's forever then their relation from the outside world is forever broken. They could make a whole new world with new rules for themselves depending on the new hierarchy and the possibilities offered to them inside the world. And if it's a temporary situation, they will be part of the normal world once more and will be held accountable according to US laws for their actions and choices. This should be the premise of the series, the big conflict and philosophical dilemma of: are we following the old rules, or are we making new rules?
Well, this does not come across at all. The people do worry about the social implications, their secrets and who is in a position of power, but they deal with it as if the dome has changed nothing AND still they won't be held accountable at any point. I'm so bored of that.
So what DO we have? Mainly, a lot of stupidity and plenty of supernatural phenomena to fluff the plot. Let's discuss the supernatural stuff first. After a while every episode goes like: the dome creates a supernatural phenomenon that causes problems. The evil characters will try to resolve it with religious fanaticism, aggression, lies, murder etc. The good characters follow their intuition or compassion or their cleverness in science and resolve it with a goody goody "the dome doesn't want us to be violent, we've got to work TOGETHER, no more deaths" and voilà, problem solved. The supernatural problems are completely unnecessary, and it feels like its only function is to churn out another episode that gets them nowhere on the whole.
An important theme is religion versus science in a survival setting. I was raised an atheist so it's never been a theme for me at all, I've never understood how people rely on the Biblical stories instead of rational and proved scientific solutions to problems. The religious fanatics' hypocrisy and them using un-Christian levels of aggression etc while forcing their faith upon others is something you'll often see in Stephen King work. It's getting really old, and over the top - yes we get it, religious people are stupid and passive while the science oriented people are clever and take a bit more initiative. I've seen it before and I've seen it done better.
The nature of the dome is mysterious and remains so. The series does not explain why it's there. Fine, an interesting mystery for the viewer. But it bothers me a lot that the people under the dome don't even try to research it at all, apart from a curious teenager the people just accept it. Very few are focused on finding ways to lift the dome, to destroy it or to escape it. It takes several episodes before someone thinks to try digging under it. Somewhere in an early episode the army throws a big bomb on it from the outside, that's practically the only attempt to open it up. Even after two weeks there's been very little research into what the dome is and how it could be lifted.
Anyway, the "clever" people aren't very clever either. Both the good and the evil characters are so very impractical, so self-centered and so wasteful that I'm rather surprised anyone is still alive at all after a few days. There is a complete lack of focus on survival. There is no tally up until two weeks in the dome, they have no idea about the number of people inside, alive or dead, or about the supplies. They're very wasteful with resources and continue to waste, pollute and destroy stuff out of malice, manipulation or sheer stupidity. People die, are murdered, simply for reasons of power while I would expect they would turn into "preppers" retreating with all possible resources into their forts.
The people complain early on that communications with the outside world are "cut off" but really, it's the phone, cable, internet and radio signals that are cut off. Also, no sound waves penetrate the dome. But there is NOTHING WRONG where light and visual signals are concerned. Why not set up a communications station on several points along the domes edge with big screens on both sides to communicate with the outside world. Apart from complaining a little about the lack of communication, a few days in they aren't trying very hard to communicate at all. Both the inside AND the outside people.
In short, these people trapped under the dome are mostly so stupid that you just want them to die. I'll keep watching to see if the writing gets any better but I'm not holding my breath.
Crossbones
(2014)
Like Pirates of the Caribbean: good entertainment but poor historical accuracy
21 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Crossbones - why it's terrible as a history lesson but enjoyable as a TV series (i've seen the first 6 episodes upon writing this)
If you are seeking historical accuracy in this pirate series, you need not watch one minute of Crossbones, because you won't find it. This is the type of series that says more about the 21st century, about the way we tell stories nowadays than the period it's supposed to portray. For instance, while I believe that people in a pirate colony might be looser from the conventional discrimination of the age than those in the Olde Country society, and that in such a place there might be more opportunities for enterprising women and freed slaves, it is still unconvincing that they could be pirates on equal footing with their white male counterparts. And there are many examples of dialogue, language and accents, motives, locations, dress sets and outfits where I thought "This will only make sense to a 21st century viewer, and would rankle with weirdness for hypothetical viewers from that era, or laughable datedness for viewers 30 years in the future."
Then there are plenty of other aspects that are improbable or unbelievable. Boats sailing right against the wind. Other violations against the laws of gravity etc. People who are careful to hide their life savings from their rivals just turn their back once a rival is carrying a box full of gold for them. The great navigational device that the plot revolves around: while there is a lot of talk about how it's built, never is it explained how it works - could it really be so self-explanatory to use? Also they don't seem to have much trouble navigating at all, what advantage could the device possibly give? The pirate Blackbeard speaks in poetic Shakespearian wholly unbefitting his reputation, John Malkovich being rather improbable a violent and volatile pirate in any case. All important actors healing miraculously fast from lethal-looking injury while characters unimportant to the story keel over from a scratch. The Antoinette subplot is just like they wanted to incorporate a horror story layer in the series, and it's quite laughable and interferes with the pace of the story. The hundred candles wastefully burning in every room, even the poorer houses, to provide a pretty but once again unbelievable set. There is plenty of violence to illustrate what a tough world it is. As such it works but I don't enjoy watching it. There are several plot holes, and other parts of the story are completely predictable.
So, it's mostly a fantastical tale with a period-dress pirate flavor. If you're willing to accept that, there's nonetheless enough to enjoy. I'm a sucker for just superficially beautiful images and period dress, the series offers just that. It's funny at times and the action scenes are often enjoyable, the characters keep me interested in what will happen to them or curious to what their true motives and backstory are. The actor who plays Lowe, the hero, I didn't know him before but he's really good. The series combines adventure and action, with drama, (b)romance, intrigue and horror elements - basically all over the place but has something for everyone not too critical. There are moral choices, political and semi-historical issues, a bit of philosophy, so it offers some things to think about and other things just to enjoy watching. In short, entertainment in the true sense of the word.
If you are seeking historical accuracy in this pirate series, you need not watch one minute of Crossbones, because you won't find it. This is the type of series that says more about the 21st century, about the way we tell stories nowadays than the period it's supposed to portray. For instance, while I believe that people in a pirate colony might be looser from the conventional discrimination of the age than those in the Olde Country society, and that in such a place there might be more opportunities for enterprising women and freed slaves, it is still unconvincing that they could be pirates on equal footing with their white male counterparts. And there are many examples of dialogue, language and accents, motives, locations, dress sets and outfits where I thought "This will only make sense to a 21st century viewer, and would rankle with weirdness for hypothetical viewers from that era, or laughable datedness for viewers 30 years in the future."
Then there are plenty of other aspects that are improbable or unbelievable. Boats sailing right against the wind. Other violations against the laws of gravity etc. People who are careful to hide their life savings from their rivals just turn their back once a rival is carrying a box full of gold for them. The great navigational device that the plot revolves around: while there is a lot of talk about how it's built, never is it explained how it works - could it really be so self-explanatory to use? Also they don't seem to have much trouble navigating at all, what advantage could the device possibly give? The pirate Blackbeard speaks in poetic Shakespearian wholly unbefitting his reputation, John Malkovich being rather improbable a violent and volatile pirate in any case. All important actors healing miraculously fast from lethal-looking injury while characters unimportant to the story keel over from a scratch. The Antoinette subplot is just like they wanted to incorporate a horror story layer in the series, and it's quite laughable and interferes with the pace of the story. The hundred candles wastefully burning in every room, even the poorer houses, to provide a pretty but once again unbelievable set. There is plenty of violence to illustrate what a tough world it is. As such it works but I don't enjoy watching it. There are several plot holes, and other parts of the story are completely predictable.
So, it's mostly a fantastical tale with a period-dress pirate flavor. If you're willing to accept that, there's nonetheless enough to enjoy. I'm a sucker for just superficially beautiful images and period dress, the series offers just that. It's funny at times and the action scenes are often enjoyable, the characters keep me interested in what will happen to them or curious to what their true motives and backstory are. The actor who plays Lowe, the hero, I didn't know him before but he's really good. The series combines adventure and action, with drama, (b)romance, intrigue and horror elements - basically all over the place but has something for everyone not too critical. There are moral choices, political and semi-historical issues, a bit of philosophy, so it offers some things to think about and other things just to enjoy watching. In short, entertainment in the true sense of the word.
Tell Your Friends