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ajehrman
Reviews
Welcome to Wrexham (2022)
I can play as Wrexham in fifa 22
But I can't play as scunthorpe. What a ludicrous display... but interesting bts show about running a football club. Uhh, I need more words? That's a bit rough. Uh, I enjoy the stuff about a pitch. Ummmmm, people be like drinking beer. I didn't realize to make a review for a show now you have to write a college dissertation.... gabba good gaabaa gool I fartsometimesandmybuttislikeohmanthatwasveryclosetoapoopandiateaspicyhotsaucesomypoopisevenvurningbutitisintering. Whatthefudgingsugarhowthefudgeisthissugarhavetobesofudinglong? Iassumesomeoneisagsnstmebecauseigaveanokayreviewtoshehulk. Ithinkwomeshouldbeallowedtobeinshowscauseimbrave.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Tiny dog
Jenny slate uses as wepon. Also quality cinema. I think heroic trio might be Michelle Yeoh's best film but this is up there even though she can't Kung fu any more.
Uncharted (2022)
Uh, okay
Chloe looks like raja from rupaul drag race. It's okay. Nathan casted too young sully casted not old enough. And Markie mark is kind of a bad person in rl.
The Batman (2022)
Happy about its return to stupid
But I hate trash bag riddler instead of a dapper suit and his vertical videos on his phone; come on man (though that may be in style due to the tiktoks)! And batman's costume is also kind rubbish. Everyone sounds like they gargle gravel and the lighting guy should really have to do a troma film before something like this. Also its a billion hours long, like i could have learned a skill or a language with the time that it took to watch this movie. The Edward guy is a good Bruce Wayne and selna klye is pretty hot. 4 stars. Never mind I hate I even more now that I watched it more, it attacks freedom of speech and being against the status quo.
Yin doi hou hap zyun (1993)
Starts slow
It starts out slow but gets good at the end. Honestly, the plot is kind of a drag but may be a reality in about 3 years. Nuclear war, no water. I just hope that there are magic flying Kung fu people.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Flatline
Only made it to episode 8. Like black and white static from an analog tv through my ears and eyes. Yet at least my mind would have been able to construct something interesting from that. Made it to episode 8. Poor evil but also okay. Upper class evil but much smarter (except not that much smarter than the evil poor) but also okay and like to exploit. Feels like it wanted to say something but didn't and I didn't make it all the way through. Also may have been made by big Moe's.
Canadian Bacon (1995)
Beginning is a bit weird
Like is Michael Moore CIA or something? Softening us up for perpetual war and selling arms seems a bit weird. Like when I watched it when the Afghanistan War started I was like "he warned us!" Now I'm like "hmm..." Also if you dont like Molson's then you suck (nah, I like that scene). Also has 3rd act collapse. 6 stars.
Riverdale (2017)
Showgirls levels of processing emotions
Quality show. It's like if Tommy Wiseau was show runner of 90210. Really it brings me more joy than it should. The time that the cult leader tried to escape on a rocket was really great, I just thought it could be more interesting if he did escape on the rocket but then the rocket exploded then he came back in a later episode...
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
Fudge this biscuit
Faye valentine isn't hot enough (should of casted Faye Reagan aka Faye valentine), they speak English, its not a cartoon, the guy from kitchen confidential fails at being a Han Solo that he makes the guy in solo look almost competent. Also socialists are evil in the very first scene, how dare them.
Dune (2021)
Mopey and dull.
The director should have used the name Alan Smithee cause this movie was mopey, boring, and the special effects looked rubbish. And every actor is in everything else, like who thought bootesta and guy from game of thrones and guy from worse than the bad star wars' should be in every flipping film? 4 stars. Please read this guy from strike back on big fat quiz show of the year.
The Wishing Forest (2018)
Made by crazy people
Made by crazy people with a dream in their hearts and I think this behavior should be encouraged. 6 stars cause I would do worse with the same resources.
Dear White People (2017)
Am confused about musical
Also pretty sure it exists to brainwash black to want to be huxtable-obama and give into the system. Not sure why it became a musical 4th season. Anyway, 7 stars.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
I don't get the reverence for original 'space jam' crowd
Space Jam was already a pretty glaringly clinical film. I guess this one pokes fun at wb executive decisions, LeBron, and really any recent movie. I'm kind of a chump for self awareness.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Cry Freedom Fighters! (2010)
America fighting oppression? Where do they come up with this stuff?
Truly a pure imagination spectical where USA is against voter suppression and tyranny. Ha ha ha, the are some very creative writers.