misbegotten Reviews

Monster Force Zero (2019)

Hugely enjoyable multiverse madness

[8/10 · 18 July 2021]

This movie's storyline has a group of friends trying to promote their self-published comic book by cosplaying as their own characters on the comic con circuit (the film was partly shot at a genuine con, GalaxyFest in Colorado). They get challenged to take part in a cosplaying contest by reigning champions the Destroyers of Destruction, only for both teams to discover that the contest is actually a LAST STARFIGHTER-style process being held by benevolent aliens to find warriors capable of saving the universe. Thus, Monster Force Zero are granted their characters' actual superpowers and weaponry: A. I. (Adam Singer) gets goggles that shoot energy beams; Kadabra (Dalena Nguyen) receives telekinetic abilities so strong she can levitate and teleport; and Ammo (Aeon Cruz) is given an energy-infused baseball bat and a BFG. They need an extra member to compete against the four-strong Destroyers, so they recruit a random stranger in a yeti costume (Shale Le Page) whom Ammo dubs 'Boots' due to the LCD-equipped moonboots he's wearing. And in case you're wondering why aliens are entrusting the fate of the universe to a bunch of cosplayers, it's neatly explained in a surprise twist three-quarters of the way through the film.

This movie was clearly made by sci-fi and comic book fans and self-confessed geeks for other sci-fi and comic book fans and self-confessed geeks, and accordingly I enjoyed it immensely. I particularly admired the fact it also addresses the negative side of fandom, in the form of the Destroyers of Destruction, a physical, in-the-flesh representation of every on-line troll and hater who's ever launched a rabid boycott campaign against a not-yet-broadcast TV show or movie that's still in pre-production simply because they disagree with a single casting, or who has ever obsessively flamed anyone who's dared to express an opinion that differs from their's. The filmmakers even use the Destroyers to subtly target the toxic masculinity often displayed by such trolls (as evidenced by the notorious on-line reaction to the all-female GHOSTBUSTERS remake and the CW's lesbian-led BATWOMAN series): the team consists of macho alpha male-wannabes Gunns Lazer (Heath C. Heine) whose costume appears based on Flash Gordon as played by Sam Jones, the ASSASSIN'S CREED-inspired Quiplash (Omid Harrison), and atypical opponent in a fighting game Final Boss (Dmitri Raskes), plus token female/generic supervillainess Hot Babe (Cali June) - imagine a Killer Frost who generates heat & fire instead of cold & ice. It's quietly implied that the male Destroyers only recruited Hot Babe because they didn't think they stood a chance of winning any contests without an attractive young woman in a sexy outfit on board, and consider her to be 'just a girl' - there's a poignant running joke in which she's always left out of their group high-fives, and her attempts to gain superpowers are repeatedly sabotaged by the other Destroyers selfishly grabbing them for themselves.

In addition to the Destroyers, the movie boasts some enjoyable, fun villains called The Unidentified, an organization lead by a female mad scientist called Dr. Eeche, equipped with a hench-Bigfoot named Squatch and an alien T-Rex from another dimension that can fire laser beams from it's eyes (the standard of special effects is very impressive for a film of such a low budget - it was partly crowdfunded). It's all totally, gleefully, unapologetically bonkers, but very much in a good way. Special mention to Aeon Cruz, who has such natural screen presence that she steals scenes even when just standing to one side, listening to another character talking.

I'm a big fan of the superteam movies in The Asylum's 'Looking Glass' universe (at the time of writing, two AVENGERS GRIMM films and SINISTER SQUAD), but considering that every studio and production company is currently trying like crazy to create their own interconnected movie universes, The Asylum seem positively resistant to the idea, and there's been no new 'Looking Glass' entries since 2018. MONSTER FORCE ZERO is the next best thing, a more-than-capable substitute, and I hope we get to see the sequel hinted at in it's final scene.

Devils of War (2013)

Fun!

[7/10 · 23 February 2021]

The vast majority of on-line reviews for DEVILS OF WAR are overwhelming negative, dismissing it as cheaply made with a ridiculous script, bad characterization, poor special effects, etc. But most people seem to be missing the point - that DEVILS OF WAR is clearly intended as a homage/celebration/semi-parody of the trashy exploitation films of yesteryear. It's a gleeful genre-melding mash-up of war, action, horror, Blaxploitation, Naziploitation, sexploitation and martial arts/ninja movies. The storyline has a elite four man team of American commandos parachuted into Nazi-occupied Poland, where the SS are rounding up the local female virgins to be sacrificed in occult ceremonies, invoking demons that possess Aryan troopers and transform them into unstoppable super-soldiers. Amongst the movie's deliberately outlandish elements are the female Nazi commander, a blonde lesbian dominatrix who strides around her headquarters in high-heeled boots, black mini-skirt, and a white shirt that's half-unbuttoned and at least two-sizes too small, barking out orders such as "Get me more virgins!" and fondling her equally blonde and busty assistant; one of the American commandos is nicknamed 'Black Hercules' and takes out opponents with a katana; the aforementioned assistant is secretly an undercover Allied agent equipped with a spy-camera hidden in her formidable cleavage; and a young virgin whom the commandos rescue from the Germans asks to be deflowered for her future protection. The film's all-action climax features a swordfight, an exorcism, a pitched battle against a super-soldier armed (for no discernible reason) with a huge double-headed battleaxe, and - of course - the heroes dashing out of the Nazi facility as it explodes around them. The only thing missing is a blonde-on-blonde catfight between the Nazi commander and the female agent, and it does seem a mystifying and hugely glaring oversight by the film-makers.

WPC 56 (2013–2015)

An extremely watchable and well made period drama.

[8/10 · 9 January 2021]

Can wholeheartedly recommend WPC 56. Originally screened on BBC1 between 2013 - 2015, it was one of several shows - along with LAND GIRLS, THE INDIAN DOCTOR and the ongoing (at the time of writing) FATHER BROWN - with which the Beeb proved it was possible to deliver quality period drama on a reduced daytime budget. Set in 1956 in Brinford, a fictitious location in the West Midlands (the series is vague as to whether Brinford is a district of Birmingham or an entirely separate town on the outskirts of Birmingham), WPC 56 focuses on young recruit Gina Dawson (played by Jennie Jacques) the first female constable on Brinford's police force, and the struggles she faces due to her colleagues believing she's only there to make the tea and comfort distressed female witnesses and victims. In addition to the entrenched sexism of the period, the show also tackled the issues of racism, mental illness and homophobia, and predictably was accused of being 'too PC' by some viewers. But the fact is that to have been female, covertly gay (homosexuality being illegal at the time) or belonging to an ethnic minority, etc, during the period when WPC 56 was set would have meant being faced with such attitudes on a daily basis. Refreshingly, Gina wasn't portrayed as being too good to be true. Yes, she was intelligent, brave, resourceful, and could see past her colleagues' prejudices, but she was also naïve, inexperienced and had a disastrous habit of falling in love with the wrong man. And despite being made for daytime, the show wasn't afraid to go to some dark places, with storylines about rape, child murder, sex slavery, suicide, and - with WWII still being a recent event in 1956 - Nazi atrocities. WPC 56 had problems keeping hold of it's actors. Practically the entire supporting cast changed between the first and second seasons, and Jacques herself left after Season 2 due to getting a regular role in VIKINGS. Her rookie replacement Annie Taylor, played by Claudia Jessie, was a very different character: whereas Gina was partly in awe of her colleagues and would often defer to them and be wary of speaking out, Annie came from a family of police officers (her father was retired from the force and both of her older brothers were policemen) and as she'd grown up amongst coppers and been around them her entire life, she wasn't impressed or intimidated by her Brinford colleagues at all, and was more than capable of standing up for herself. I watched all three seasons of WPC 56 when they originally aired on BBC1, and had looked forward to further seasons with Jessie as Annie Taylor, but with the exception of FATHER BROWN, the Beeb's unofficial policy towards it's daytime period dramas seems to have been 'make three seasons, then stop.' Despite having developed a loyal fanbase and garnered highly favourable reviews (the TV critic in the Daily Mail even predicted that if WPC 56 had been initially shown at primetime, the BBC would have had another CALL THE MIDWIFE-sized hit on their hands), the show - together with LAND GIRLS and THE INDIAN DOCTOR - didn't return for a fourth season.

Virtual Combat (1995 Video)

Punch. Kick. Athena Massey. Sold!

[7/10 · 29 September 2020]

A shameless cash-in on the major studio movie VIRTUOSITY (1995), this is a rare example of a copy being better than the original. In the near-future (yes, again) Don 'The Dragon' Wilson plays a cop who - while investigating his partner's murder - stumbles upon a conspiracy to bring the impossibly-perfect women from a virtual reality sex program into the real world by re-writing synthetic DNA so it matches the coding of the girls' design, and then selling them as sex slaves to the highest bidder. An additional big problem is that an AI named 'Dante' who is the lethal & unbeatable final level boss opponent of a virtual reality combat game, has hijacked the technology to also create a body for himself, and intends to do the same for dozens of his dangerous VR brethren. I'm not usually a fan of martial art movies, and VIRTUAL COMBAT is set in an America where firearms have been banned, and so cops and criminals - even low level street punks - all rely on high-kicking chop-socky instead. But while all the fight scenes (and there are a lot) do get a bit tiring, this movie held my interest. Dante makes for a fine supervillain, and particularly welcome is the ridiculously gorgeous Athena Massey as the main VR sex siren.

Hologram Man (1995 Video)

A disappointing and distasteful misfire.

[4/10 · 29 September 2020]

Another Nineties effort from straight-to-video action maestros PM Entertainment, this is their version of DEMOLITION MAN (1993), to the extent that the bigger-budgeted Stallone/Snipes epic is referenced in the dialogue. In the near-future, convicted terrorist Norman 'Slash' Gallagher (played by Evan Lurie) is sentenced to be held in suspended animation, but manages to escape by having his consciousness downloaded into a hologram (?!) and is pursued by Decoda (Joe Lara), the cop who originally captured him. Even by B movie standards, the science is extremely wonky, but if you can overlook that, this actually starts out quite strongly, with - despite the low budget - some impressive production design. I especially liked the courtroom set, some of the futuristic vehicles, and the realistically functional virtual reality training program. However, during the movie's last half-hour the narrative just descends into repeated scenes of groups of cops and terrorists endlessly firing automatic weapons at each other, and instead of being exciting it's just repetitive and numbing. However, what is genuinely disturbing is the fact that during the climax Decoda manages to disarm and overpower Gallagher's two key henchmen (William Sanderson and Nicolas Worth), and although they no longer pose any threat to him, he self-righteously kills them both in cold blood. Likewise, the subsequent final confrontation with Gallagher (which is too short and frustratingly anti-climatic) ends with Decoda trapping the villain inside the mainframe that originally generated his hologram form and - despite having rendered him harmless - then blowing up the computer, destroying him. And if that hadn't already proven enough that he'd appointed himself as judge, jury and executioner, Decoda concludes the movie by murdering the corrupt CEO (Michael Nouri, slumming it) of the corporation that now runs California - which is the very act of assassination and terrorism that Gallagher had been trying to achieve the entire runtime! The makers of HOLOGRAM MAN apparently believe it's perfectly okay and legitimate for Decoda to do all this, because he is - supposedly - 'the good guy'. Instead, such simplistic and warped logic just leaves a very nasty taste in the mouth.

T-Force (1994)

Utterly predictable, but still enjoyable.

[6/10 · 29 September 2020]

Inspired by ROBOCOP and UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, and also including a DIE HARD-themed skyscraper siege and a TERMINATOR-style police station massacre, there's nothing in this movie you haven't seen before - but that turns out to be one of it's strengths. T FORCE knows how unoriginal it is, doesn't pretend not to be, and is all the better for it. In the near-future, a super-SWAT team of robot law enforcers goes rogue, and a bigoted, robot-hating cop has to stop them while unhappily partnered with another robot - the only team-member who didn't rebel. An enjoyable film from PM Entertainment, who kept entire armies of stunt-people and pyrotechnic experts in gainful employment during the Nineties making straight-to-video action fare. This is actually more restrained than some of their subsequent films, such as HOLOGRAM MAN (1995), DARK BREED (1996) and THE SILENCERS (1996), and in my opinion works better as a result. The only mildly surprising aspect of the film is the final scene, which the scriptwriters no doubt thought was ending the proceedings on a cheery, upbeat note... but is actually quite dark and bleak. And a special mention for actress Jennifer MacDonald, who manages to inject a surprising amount of depth and even a degree of pathos into her role as the female member of T Force.

Doctor Mordrid (1992)

Could have been a great franchise...

[7/10 · 29 September 2020]

Back in the early Nineties, direct-to-video specialists Full Moon Entertainment unsuccessfully tried to secure the movie rights for Marvel Comics' Doctor Strange, but having been thwarted, they just shrugged their shoulders, tweaked the script and made DOCTOR MORDRID instead. And I'm glad they did. Despite being low budget, it's clear that a respectable amount of money was spent - there are impressive sets, props and some delightful stop motion animation courtesy of David Allen and Randall Cook. Jeffery Combs plays the title character, and it's great to see him in a heroic leading role. Brian Thompson provides some reliable villainy, and there's fine support from Yvette Nipar (a talented and extremely pretty actress who sadly never had the career she deserved) as the police consultant and neighbour who become Mordrid's sidekick and romantic interest. Considering the numerous and seemingly never-ending PUPPET MASTER, TRANCERS, EVIL BONG, GINGERDEAD MAN and KILLJOY movies that Full Moon has relentlessly churned out, it's a crying shame they never made a single sequel to this.

Street Hunter (1990)

A great showcase for Steve James, with excellent support from Reb Brown.

[6/10 · 20 September 2020]

STREET HUNTER (1990) is noteworthy for having a rare leading role for Steve James, an actor who had regular work throughout the Eighties, but was mostly stuck playing the sidekick in films such as the AMERICAN NINJA series and a handful of Chuck Norris movies. In STREET HUNTER, James proved to have all the necessary requirements to be a major action movie star (even if only in straight-to-video fare): he convincingly looks and acts like someone you wouldn't want to mess with, has the martial arts moves (though his character in this film mostly relies on firearms), and possesses on-screen presence, charm and charisma to burn. James plays an ex-New York cop turned modern-day bounty hunter with a great action hero name: Logan Blade. He's maintained his friendships with his former police colleagues and has built up a wide network of street-level contacts - various snitches and lowlifes who are prepared to talk to him, but not to the NYPD. My only compliant is that Blade is portrayed as being somewhat too smooth and too good to be true. But James (who also co-wrote the script) manages to make him more real, fully rounded and likeable than the various characters being played by the likes of Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Norris, etc, at the time. He also lets Blade be shown as vulnerable, especially in regards to his relationship with his longtime girlfriend, a nightclub singer who complains (understandably) that during their five years together, Blade has been living in a van, prowling the streets looking for highly dangerous scumbags, and she doesn't think this is the basis for a longterm future. STREET HUNTER also boasts an excellent villain, played by another cult B movie favourite, Reb Brown. He's an ex-military hardcase named Walsh, who served in Special Forces in 'Nam, was given a dishonourable discharge, and has spent the years since as a mercenary, working for warlords and death squads in various Third World hellholes. He's currently employed by a Latino street gang called the Diablos, who have formed an alliance with a Columbian drug cartel and are challenging the Mafia for control of New York's drugs trade, with Walsh as their game-changing secret weapon. Brown gives a restrained and highly effective performance, portraying Walsh as clearly unhinged, but also unnervingly calm, quiet, softly spoken and always in total control of his emotions. He's also obsessed with military history, and there are great scenes where he lectures the Latino street punks under his command (who are totally bemused and have no idea what he's talking about) regarding 'honour' and 'glory', and keeps equating their grubby drugs war with the great military campaigns carried out by Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar. Also in the cast is a young John Leguizamo as Angel, the Diablos' leader - a cocky, motor-mouthed and utterly worthless piece of human vermin, who's so dumb he doesn't realise that Walsh is openly taking over control of the gang, right in front of him. Visually and tonally STREET HUNTER most reminded me of THE PUNISHER (1989) and the MANIAC COP trilogy (1988 - 1992), and while not as good as those movies (also set in New York), it's not embarrassed to stand in their company. Apparently James hoped that STREET HUNTER would spawn a franchise, but it was not to be. He died of cancer in 1993 at the too-young age of 41.

Midnight Kiss (1993)

Truly puzzling that Michelle Owens and Gregory A. Greer never went on to do further on-screen work.

[6/10 · 19 July 2020]

MIDNIGHT KISS (1993) is a semi-obscure low budget effort, clearly made for the VHS rental market, that was re-titled 'VAMPIRE COP' in the UK, meaning that it often gets confused with a 1990 movie with the same title that starred Nineties scream queen Melissa Moore. MIDNIGHT KISS focuses on plainclothes detective Carrie Bliss (played by Michelle Owens). Her captain openly expects the female officers under his command to sleep with him, and her male colleagues are all sexist morons who drink at strip bars after work and think the best way to get a witness statement out of a traumatised rape victim is to shout at her. When a serial killer starts murdering women and draining their blood, Carrie is assigned to act as bait in a series of stakeouts. She eventually gets attacked and bitten by the cocky, long-haired, rockstar-looking killer (Gregory A. Greer), who laughs off Cassie shooting him in the chest and head, and promptly escapes. When Cassie subsequently begins to feel sick, crave blood, and develop superhuman strength enabling her to effortlessly throw muggers about and graphically snap their arms, she realises that not only is the killer a genuine, honest-to-god vampire, but she's rapidly turning into one as well. To be honest, there's nothing particularly outstanding or remarkable about MIDNIGHT KISS, but it's a perfectly competent and professionally well made movie that is more than watchable. It feels like the Nineties equivalent of some noteworthy Seventies vampire films such as THE NIGHT STALKER (1972) and the COUNT YORGA movies. Shot on location in Los Angeles, the Chinese Theatre makes a brief cameo. One especially nice touch is having the vampire sleep in a body bag instead of the traditional coffin, and using an electronic alarm clock to wake himself up, but the best and most unnerving sequence has a starving Cassie hunting her own pet cat around her apartment. On the down side, the film's main action setpiece - a fight between Cassie and another victim who's turned full vampire - is so badly lit (the only illumination is a torch Cassie's holding) that it's struggle to tell what's happening. As heroine and villain, Owens and Greer both turn in fine, more-than-capable performances, so it's truly bizarre that according to the IMDB this film was the only on-screen appearance for both of them.

Sparks (I) (2013)

"What does it take to kill you, Mr. Sparks?"

[9/10 · 18 May 2020]

A low budget superhero-noir movie that amazingly was apparently filmed in just twelve days, SPARKS tells the tale - spread over two decades, but mostly taking place in the late 1940s - of masked vigilante Ian Sparks (played by Chase Williamson), as he goes from an earnest, naive, idealistic do-gooder, to disgraced, bitter and angry pariah consumed with self-loathing, until finally - when he has nothing left to lose - he heads with grim and resigned determination into a final confrontation with the various supervillains who have clouded & blighted his entire life. Williamson excels portraying Sparks' early days as an eager novice crimefighter, but tends to struggle during the scenes when the character hits rock bottom. However, he regains the right tone as Sparks approaches his final reckoning. Also giving strong performances are Ashley Bell and especially Marina Squerciati as the women in Sparks' life, both also providing some classic Forties-style glamour. And familar faces such as Cliff Howard, Jake Busey, Clancy Brown and William Katt appear in key roles. Despite only being ninety minutes long, SPARKS somehow packs an impressively complex, multi-layered storyline filled with plentiful characterisation, incident, and several twists into it's relatively brief running time, without the narrative ever seeming rushed or crowded. While watching it, I got the strong impression that instead of treating SPARKS as just another job, everyone involved - on both sides of the camera - were personally invested in this movie and accordingly brought their A games to the proceedings. Quite simply, this is a great film.

Birds of Prey (2020)

One of those movies you just wish was better than it actually is.

[5/10 · 9 February 2020]

BIRDS OF PREY AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN is well made and undeniably entertaining, but utterly inconsequential. It's the cinematic equivalent of candy floss - bright, colourful and tastes good while you're consuming it, but afterwards you're still hungry and in need of actual proper food. It's completely Margot Robbie's movie - despite the Birds of Prey getting top billing in the title, the film should more accurately be called 'Harley Quinn: The Movie' - and the fanbases of both the actress and the character won't be disappointed. That said, most of the other main cast-members are given the chance to shine, though Mary Elizabeth Winstead draws the short straw - as Huntress, she's only properly introduced four-fifths of the way through the film, isn't given enough time to make any kind of impression, and only seems to be there to take part in the all-action climax. Speaking of the action scenes, they're particularly well-executed, with Harley's solo Terminator-style assault on a police station being the highlight, followed by her dispatching of a team of mercenaries in the evidence room while Echo Chamber's cover of 'Black Betty' blares out on the soundtrack. Unfortunately, the climactic battle between all the Birds and Black Mask's amassed henchmen in an abandoned & forgotten amusement park funhouse is disappointingly somewhat messy and disorientated in comparison.

The Final Level: Escaping Rancala (2019)

Three girls, one game. I was entertained.

[7/10 · 26 December 2019]

THE FINAL LEVEL: ESCAPING RANCALA is a great big slab of goofy fun. Although it's The Asylum's mockbuster of JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL (2019), due to budgetary constraints it's more reminiscent of earlier films such as TRON (1982), the 'Bishop of Battle' segment of anthology movie NIGHTMARES (1983), and Full Moon's ARCADE (1993). The story: avid videogamer Jake and his younger sister Sarah are spending time at Jake's favourite hangout, the local video game arcade. While Sarah goes outside to meet their mother, Jake lingers to play one last game... and is never seen again. Ten years later, a now-twentysomething Sarah (played by Jessica Chancellor) has become a successful redheaded entrepreneur, but is still deeply affected by her brother's disappearance. As a result, her latest about-to-launch business venture is a tribute to him - a themed bar that is partly a faithful recreation of a video arcade, complete with vintage games. Sarah's partners in this enterprise are her two friends since childhood, brunette tech nerd Rae (Tiana Tuttle) whose job is to make sure everything works, and blonde networking vlogger/blogger Chrissy (Emily Sweet), in charge of advertising, publicity and social media. However, when the last game to be installed turns out to be'Rancala', the game Jake was playing when he disappeared, the three friends find themselves sucked into it, and are faced with the multiple tasks of surviving and completing the game, finding Jake and trying to return to the real world.

There's a hugely pleasing amount of meta humour in THE FINAL LEVEL (which probably reaches it's zenith early on, as the girls discover the first end-of-level boss opponent is a sharknado) centring on the trio of heroines adapting to being inside a video game: having to instinctively duck their heads every time an on-screen message appears, learning that unfeasibly large objects (oars, long-barrelled sniper rifles, planks of wood) can be pulled from the modestly-sized backpacks they're wearing, and having their clothes automatically change to match every new environment they enter. Arriving on a beach, they find themselves suddenly clad in just some skimpy & revealing bikinis. "Do you think a man designed this game?" deadpans Chrissy.

Enjoyable though THE FINAL LEVEL is, there are some negatives: much of the movie's initial fun and inventivity ebbs out after the first 35 - 40 minutes, and the film starts to drag during it's middle section. That said, things do rally in the final stretch with some welcome twists, although the reveal of The King - the game's final, super-boss opponent - is a disappointment, due to some typical Asylum penny pinching. He really should be a dastardly arch-enemy, part-Vader, part-Ming the Merciless, ruling Rancala from a lair that's half-gothic castle, half-Death Star control room. Instead, he's just some ranty man in a vaguely naval officer-style uniform, sitting on a throne made out of twigs, on a raised platform in the middle of a forest clearing. Very unsatisfying. The movie's low budget special effects and CGI mostly past muster, apart from a disastrous sequence in which two of the girls move at super-speed (having been given selected superpowers courtesy of the game), which just doesn't work and should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Characterisation is also tissue-thin, and although the three lead actresses do their best to flesh out the trio of heroines, they don't quite succeed (Sweet comes closest) due to simply having so little to work with. Full marks though to Chancellor, Tuttle and Sweet for throwing themselves full-bodily into THE FINAL LEVEL's many, many fight scenes, which are shot so you can see it's clearly the actresses and not stunt doubles who are throwing punches, high-kicking and back-flipping. And considering this movie is clearly intended for a family audience, kudos to The Asylum for including a scene in which two of the characters matter-of-factly share a same-sex kiss (this is nothing new for The Asylum - their mainstream 2007 mockbuster TRANSMORPHERS had two key characters in a same-sex marriage).

Despite it's flaws, I enjoyed THE FINAL LEVEL immensely and in my humble opinion it stands alongside the likes of SHERLOCK HOLMES (2010), MERCENARIES (2014) and the AVENGERS GRIMM movies as one of the most entertaining films The Asylum has yet made. It's hard to dislike a movie that features a girl successfully dropkicking a charging rhino.

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Not a god, but still a King.

[7/10 · 16 November 2019]

Having already seen GODZILLA (2014) and GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS (2019), the first and third films in Legendary's 'Monsterverse' franchise, I eventually got around to watching second entry KONG: SKULL ISLAND. Liked it, with some minor reservations. Despite being quite different in tone to the other two films, visually it's still recognisably part of the same universe. Legendary clearly took to heart some of the main criticisms made about their initial GODZILLA - namely that it was (i.) too dark and (ii.) didn't feature enough of the title creature - by this time having all but one of the action scenes take place in broad daylight, with Kong debuting in the first five minutes. The human characters play a larger role in the proceedings (loved the moment when Mason shot a flare into The Big One's eye), probably reflecting Kong's lesser status within the Monsterverse: he may be a god on Skull Island, but place him outside in the wider world and Kong is just an oversized ape, whereas Godzilla and his fellow Titans truly are gods and "the rightful rulers of Earth."

My one big disappointment with SKULL ISLAND was that it's 1973 setting was ultimately just window dressing. You could replace the Hueys with Blackhawks, update the soldiers' uniforms and equipment, portray them as veterans of the Iraq war or Syrian conflict instead of Vietnam, and tell the exact same story. I was hoping the immediate post-Nam setting would be more relevant.

The Cricklewood Greats (2012 TV Movie)

A wonderful and extremely well made mockumentary - highly recommended for film buffs!

[9/10 · 25 August 2019]

THE CRICKLEWOOD GREATS is a spoof documentary presented, written and directed by Peter Capaldi, dedicated to the fictitious Cricklewood Studios, from it's early days making silent comedies, it's WWII homefront morale boosters, onto it's Sixties heyday, when it was responsible for the THUMBS UP series of comedies (sample titles THUMBS UP MATRON, THUMBS UP MARIE ANTOINETTE, the sci-fi THUMBS UP URANUS and the prison-set THUMBS UP HER MAJESTY'S PLEASURE) and also became home to the horror production company Acton Films. Capaldi tells Cricklewood's story by focusing on the lives & careers of four key performers from the studio's various eras: the facility's founder, silent comedian Arthur Simm; music hall star and wartime nation's favourite Florrie Fontaine; classically-trained horror icon Lionel Crisp; and B movie starlet Jenny Driscoll.

The re-creation of archive material (excerpts from Cricklewood films, newsreels, behind-the-scenes footage, the stars' home movies, paparazzi photos and publicity stills) is stunningly accurate and probably will be utterly convincing to anyone unaware that this is a mockumentary. Expensive too: Capaldi confessed in interviews that he ran out of money, didn't have an ending, and Terry Gilliam rode to his rescue, agreeing to appear in an inexpensive closing sequence in which Capaldi interviews him about how Cricklewood was forced into bankruptcy and closure in the mid-Eighties by the numerous delays & accidents that befell the production of his unfinished epic PROFESSOR HYPOCHONDRIA'S MAGICAL ODYSSEY, starring Marlon Brando. Gilliam sends himself up mercilessly, and is clearly enjoying every second.

THE CRICKLEWOOD GREATS is riddled with in-jokes for movie buffs, and Capaldi also pokes fun at the art documentary format itself, especially in a scene where he and the president of the Cricklewood Studios Appreciation Society visit the site of the facility, now a Wickes DIY superstore, and wander down aisles of kitchen tiles and bathroom fittings, speaking in hushed, respectful tones while bemused shop staff and customers walk around them.

Amongst the comedy, Capaldi also makes some serious observations about the fickle & fleeting nature of fame and the dark side of showbusiness: the story of Jenny Driscoll's descent into porn, obscurity and suicide is told almost entirely straight.

The Butchering (2015)

Have you heard the (Urban) Legend of Tommy Miller?

[6/10 · 13 February 2019]

Whereas the various entries in the post-SCREAM slasher revival were made by filmmakers who spent their formative years enjoying the slasher boom that followed in the wake of the original HALLOWEEN, time marches on, and we're now seeing slasher movies made by people who grew up watching those post-SCREAM movies. Case in point: low budget effort BRAXTON (2015), which was re-titled THE BUTCHERING in the US, initially released straight to DVD in the UK as BRAXTON BUTCHER, and was re-released there under it's original title at the beginning of 2019. Shot in Northern Ireland with a local cast, when it's writer/editor/producer/director Leo McGuigan was only nineteen years old, BRAXTON cheerfully references NATURAL BORN KILLERS (1994) and the SCREAM franchise in it's dialogue, while the storyline borrows heavily from the MY BLOODY VALENTINE remake (2009), and visually it pays homage to URBAN LEGEND (1998) with a fur-lined hooded parka-clad killer and the faithful recreation of a key moment. It's not perfect - at an hour & fifty minutes in length, it's too long, and accordingly the narrative drags in places. Some occasional lines of dialogue also feel out-of-place, too clearly the product of a screenwriter sitting at this desk instead of something a real person would actually say. And the final revelational scene when the killer reveals all, contains one unnecessary twist too many. But BRAXTON had more pluses than minuses: the young cast look like ordinary, ache-ridden teenagers instead of the impossibly good-looking hunks and Victoria's Secret models that populate American slashers . And it's genuinely difficult to predict who's going to survive - the character who I initially thought was the Final Girl wasn't, and an individual who clearly had 'Victim' written all over her proved otherwise. Special mention to Laura Pyper lookalike Vicky Allen, who steals every scene she's in as the school's resident self-obsessed, two-timing Queen Bee. Remarkably, according to the IMDB it's her only on-screen role so far.

Viking Destiny (2018)

Viking Warrior Princess

[7/10 · 2 September 2018]

The British film industry has quietly been responsible for several low budget, direct-to-DVD viking movies during the last few years, including VIKINGS: THE DARKEST DAY (2013), VIKINGS: THE BESERKERS (2014) VIKING LEGACY (2016), VIKING SIEGE (2017) and THE LOST VIKING (2018). This entry in the genre was filmed as VIKING DESTINY (and is being released in the US under that title) but underwent a last minute name change in the UK and was released as OF GODS AND WARRIORS (personally, I prefer the original title). It boasts crisp photography, effective and well directed action scenes, and good performances from the entire cast, apart from a clearly bored Terence Stamp as Odin, who recites his lines in a weary monotone and does just enough to earn his pay-cheque. The narrative mostly moves along briskly, though there are some pacing problems during the second half of the film, when the on-the-run heroine encounters a co-operative of happy-clappy, vegetarian flower-people and understandably everything goes rather flat. But that minor quibble aside, this is an enjoyable watch. The final scene hints at a sequel, and I hope we get one.

Avengers Grimm: Time Wars (2018 Video)

A welcome return through the Looking Glass

[7/10 · 13 May 2018]

Have seen AVENGERS GRIMM: TIME WARS and really enjoyed it, though if you're not already a fan or admirer of The Asylum's output, I doubt TIME WARS will convert you. While the original AVENGERS GRIMM and spin-off film SINISTER SQUAD were both written and directed by Jeremy Inman, with TIME WARS Inman only provides the script and directing duties are handled by longtime Asylum staffer Max Elfeldt. Inman's screenplay impressively expands upon the world-building he conducted in the previous two films. In AVENGERS GRIMM, the Magic Mirror - a portal between worlds - was shattered, and SINISTER SQUAD dealt with the aftermath, as the walls separating various dimensions broke down and realms started to overlap and bleed into one another. Alice (herself a seasoned mirror traveller) established Looking Glass, a holding facility for troublesome individuals from other worlds who had been unleashed upon 'our' Earth, staffed by various characters from Wonderland and the Grimm-world. In TIME WARS, the surface world comes under attack from the forces of Queen Magda of Atlantis (played by Katherine Maya) - visually inspired by Aquaman and Mera from the JUSTICE LEAGUE movie, and presumably supposed to be Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid, Gone Bad (in case you're wondering why she's not called Ariel, Andersen never named her in his original story - it was Disney who came up with the Ariel moniker, and if The Asylum had identified her as such, they no doubt would have received a swift phone call from the House of Mouse's legal department). Magda is pursuing Prince Charming (Michael Marcel), Snow White's ex who vanished on the eve of their wedding several years earlier, having been lured into a trap by Magda and subsequently held prisoner until his recent escape. Charming has the film's McGuffin, a magical ring that will bestow upon who'sever finger he willingly places it on complete & absolute power over... well, basically everything.

Inman clearly knows that continuity is important to movie and comic book fans, and takes time to explain why some characters from the previous films are absent (when actor availability and/or a restricted budget were no doubt the real reasons), though some of his explanations are pleasingly cheeky: "Trust the rest of the Squad to be on holiday when we're facing an invasion" mutters Alice.

Having upgraded Looking Glass from it's initial warehouse location to a high-tech skyscraper, Alice and her faithful second-in-command Hatter (Christina Licciardi and Randall Yarbrough respiring their roles from SINISTER SQUAD) awaken Snow White, whose body instinctively froze itself to recover from the injuries sustained at the conclusion of AVENGERS GRIMM, reunite her with Sleeping Beauty and Red Riding Hood, and set them to work locating Charming and foiling Magda's schemes. Also getting involved is Rumpelstiltskin, the Big Bad in AVENGERS GRIMM who was pressganged into assisting Alice in SINISTER SQUAD. Portrayed by Eric Feltes (the third actor to play the role in this series), he continues - as he did in SQUAD - to take advantage of the situation & play both sides against one another, successfully conspiring to activate fragments of the Mirror and trap Snow, Beauty and Red by bouncing them around between different worlds and timestreams.

Lauren Parkinson as Snow White and Marah Fairclough as Sleeping Beauty both return from the first AVENGERS GRIMM. Parkinson gets an effective action sequence as Snow is confronted at the burial site of her closest friends by a hulking Merman assassin who'd been specifically tasked with killing her, and makes impromptu use of grave markers to defend herself. Fairclough's Sleeping Beauty was memorably prissy and snide in the previous movie, and although she's mellowed considerably, her banter with Red Riding Hood still contains a pleasing degree of snark. Elizabeth Eileen plays Red, but looks so identical to Elizabeth Peterson who played the role in the earlier GRIMM that I believe she must be the same actress, though the IMDB currently lists them as two separate performers. Regardless, Eileen is clearly enjoying herself enormously as the team's resident combat specialist and weapons expert, dispatching Magda's minions with knives, swords, her trusty bow & arrow, and - proving how well Red has adapted to our world - producing hand grenades and twin revolvers from under her cloak. Hatter was portrayed as a permanently spaced out acid casualty in SINISTER SQUAD, but seems slightly more grounded this time round - most of the time, anyway. Displaying an impeccable English accent, Christina Licciardi's Alice was the best thing about SQUAD, and she's equally good here. Having initially been a Nick Fury/Amanda Waller figure, Alice is now revealed to have her own superpower, and it's perfectly in keeping with Lewis Carroll's original stories. And as Prince Charming, Marcel gives a nicely judged and winningly tongue-in-cheek performance of a handsome, deep-voiced, utterly sincere, impossibly perfect and sickeningly noble fairytale hero.

At the time of writing, superhero movies remain in vogue and highly popular. As a result, I hope we haven't seen the last of The Asylum's AVENGERS GRIMM-verse. I would certainly welcome further adventures.

The Guardians (2017)

An enjoyable non-American, non-western hemisphere take on the superhero genre

[7/10 · 30 August 2017]

I normally choose to watch foreign films in their native language with English subtitles, but there have been numerous complaints on- line about Guardians' subtitles being badly-translated and hard to read, so instead I watched the English dubbed version, and it's one of the best dubbing jobs I've seen.

My verdict: I liked it. Yes, it may lack the sheer spectacle of some of the more recent Marvel/DC movies, but considering it's budget was the equivalent of just five million American dollars (I'll say that again - just five million dollars), it looks amazing, and possesses the scope and scale you'd expect to see in a summer tentpole blockbuster.

Of course, there are flaws. The CGI depicting the werebear character Arsus isn't of the same standard you'd see in a major American studio movie, and the make-up and ripped bodysuit of the film's supervillain also isn't particularly convincing. But elsewhere the quality of special effects is fine, especially the three-legged robotic tanks that the villain deploys as part of his arsenal, and during the scenes where he transports a vast radio tower into the centre of Moscow.

There are also some problems with pacing. Just over halfway through the film, the narrative awkwardly grinds to a halt as three of the Guardians line up and unburden their tragic back-stores, immediately followed by a lengthy training montage. While all this is going on, instead of embarking on the final stage of his long-planned world domination scheme, the villain seemingly decides to just cool his heels and wait for the heroes to show up.

But these are fairly minor quibbles. Considering this is a first effort at a superhero film produced by a country that has no tradition or history of the genre, made on a budget lower than the average made-for-TV movie, Guardians is a solid, entertaining film that does everything that's required of it. Despite it's disappointing worldwide box office, I'm hopeful that it might enjoy a healthy and profitable afterlife on DVD/Blu-ray and streaming services, and that there may eventually be a sequel.

Major Grom (2017)

An entertaining comic book adaptation

[8/10 · 15 April 2017]

This is a short film based on a comic book series from Russian publishers Bubble Comics about a super-heroic Moscow cop. Packs a lot into it's half-hour running time, with a couple of effective twists, a great fight scene that's seemingly shot in a single continuous take (though there must be a few hidden cuts in there) as the camera repeatedly spins 360 degrees around the combatants, and an impressively filmed stunt sequence as Grom pursues a criminal across the very high rafters of an abandoned building. There's also a pleasing vein of meta humour throughout ("I must work on my punchlines" mutters Grom after dispatching a villain and realising he's got nothing witty to say) including a sequence that pokes fun at the TRANSPORTER franchise, and - in a nod to fans of the original comic book - a last second cameo by Grom's arch-nemesis. Recommended.

Avenging Force: The Scarab (2010)

An enjoyable effort, especially if you're a fan of Golden Age comic book heroes.

[6/10 · 30 October 2016]

I've seen a version of the ultra-low budget superhero movie AVENGING FORCE: THE SCARAB on YouTube that was dubbed into German and clearly heavily edited (according to the IMDb, the film is 85 minutes long, but the version I watched was less than an hour in length). AVENGING FORCE was written, produced & directed by Canadian film-maker (and occasional comic book publisher) Brett Kelly, who has performed one or more of the same duties on several other superhero movies: IRON SOLDIER (2010), THUNDERSTORM: THE RETURN OF THOR (2011), AGENT BEETLE (2012) and RISE OF THE BLACK BAT (2012). AVENGING FORCE was filmed under the title 'THE SCARAB' but re-titled prior to release. It's easy to assume that this was an attempt to cash in on Marvel's AVENGERS franchise, but AVENGING FORCE was released on DVD in North America in 2010, two years before the first AVENGERS movie reached cinemas.

With the exception of IRON SOLDIER, all of Brett Kelly's superhero movies feature genuine Golden Age comic book heroes whose copyright has lapsed and now exist in the public domain. In addition to The Scarab, AVENGING FORCE also has The Woman In Red, The Black Terror, the original Daredevil (renamed 'Doubledare' to avoid any legal problems with Marvel), and Lady Satan (although a heroine in the original comics, she's portrayed as one of the movie's villains - perhaps Kelly thought a heroic character named 'Lady Satan' would be a hard sell in an America where some churches organise mass-burnings of HARRY POTTER books).

Although I'm not fluent in German, while watching AVENGING FORCE I was still able to work out the basics of the movie's plot (who was doing what to whom, and why) and I enjoyed the film for what it was. I thought the action scenes were well handled, and I was amused that the covert intelligence organization employing The Women In Red was called N.E.D.O.R., after Golden Age publishers Nedor Comics.

The Black Dahlia (2006)

A potentially good film, sunk by an unimpressive lead performance from Josh Hartnett

[6/10 · 13 June 2012]

While THE BLACK DAHLIA fails to reach the high standard set by L.A. CONFIDENTIAL (the film it most resembles) it's still a bleak, stylish, moody and worthwhile noir thriller. In the title role, Mia Kirshner give a luminous and heartbreaking performance, one of the best I've seen since Naomi Watts's turn in MULHOLLAND DRIVE (in what was ironically a similar role). Sadly, THE BLACK DAHLIA did not boost Kirshner's career in the same way that MULHOLLAND DRIVE did for Watts.

Aaron Eckhart - in what proved to be a breakthrough part after too many years tucked away in supporting roles - also shines as a detective who's starting to crack up, and Scarlett Johansson also impresses, despite having an underwritten role as his chaste girlfriend. Hilary Swank smolders as a spoilt heiress who frequents the fleshpots of Hollywood, and Rose McGowan has an amusing cameo as a bit part actress who's interviewed by the cops while dressed as an Egyptian servant girl.

The film looks great, with terrific period detail, and cinema buffs will be delighted by references to the classic silent movie THE MAN WHO LAUGHS, which actually inspired the creation of comic book villain The Joker. Fans of director Brian De Palma will also recognise some of his trademark touches in the film, especially a heavily stylised death scene involving a stairwell and a fountain. I'll say no more, other than to report that at the cinema screening I attended most of the audience either cried out or audibly winced during that sequence.

Of course, THE BLACK DAHLIA - like every film - has it's flaws, most noticeable of which is an unimpressive and underpowered performance by Josh Hartnett in the lead. His character is supposed to be at the centre of a maelstrom of horrendous murder, forbidden love, torrid lust, betrayal, shattered dreams, forlorn hope and misplaced trust, but Hartnett never comes close to registering the emotions his character should be feeling. With this vacuum at it's heart (the entire story is seen through Hartlett's eyes), the film is thrown off-balance and never really grips you, and as a result we don't really care for the characters as much as you should, despite the fine work by the rest of the cast. There's also a badly judged and misplaced cameo by k d lang which breaks the otherwise flawless period atmosphere and caused tittering amongst the audience I saw the movie with. It's an unnecessary gimmick that wasn't needed.

The Ghost Squad (2005)

A series that nobody remembers, ironically about people who officially don't exist

[8/10 · 9 June 2012]

I was fortunate enough to see THE GHOST SQUAD when it debuted in the UK on Channel 4 in 2005. In the first episode, uniformed police officer Amy Harris (played by Irish actress Elaine Cassidy, subsequently the female lead in American slasher series HARPER'S ISLAND) arrests a local scumbag and repeat offender for a minor crime. However, the man is subsequently beaten to death in the cells, and the police station is locked down as the UK equivalent of Internal Affairs arrive to question everyone. Harris realises that she's being framed for the murder by whoever amongst her colleagues is actually responsible, and the remainder of the episode is a tense race-against-time as she rushes around the building, trying to keep one step ahead of both the investigators and her co-workers, while desperately attempting to clear herself. Realising that Pete Maitland, a detective recently assigned to the station (a pre-ROBIN HOOD Jonas Armstrong) is an undercover mole, Harris exposes him to buy herself more time, and eventually uncovers the true killers. The episode ends with Harris quitting the police, knowing that because she handed in her colleagues, nobody in the force will trust her or work with her again. She's promptly recruited by 'the Ghost Squad', an officially non-existent unit of undercover officers who investigate reports of corruption within the police. Harris leaves behind all traces of her old life, is given a new identity and forced to adopt a rootless, friendless, nomadic existence, going wherever each assignment takes her and living in cheap and temporary rented accommodation. Her only contact is Maitland, who's appointed as her partner/handler, with both of them reporting exclusively to Detective Superintendent Carole McKay (Emma Fielding, a talented actress whom we don't see enough of on our screens), the secretive head of the Squad.

Channel 4 spent a lot of money on THE GHOST SQUAD, and each episode boasted some familiar guest stars, such as Lloyd Owen and Adrian Lester. Jason Flemyng was a particular standout in one instalment, playing a veteran Ghost Squad operative who was cracking up under the strain, giving Harris a glimpse of her potential future. However, due to it's adult content - language, violence, sex scenes and full frontal nudity - the series was shown at 23:00 on weeknights and seems to be have overlooked as a result. Critics ignored it and most people appear never to have heard of the show (I'm always met with blank looks whenever I mention it in company). It only lasted one series, and has never been released on DVD in the UK.

I have fond memories of THE GHOST SQUAD and consider it to be one of the best police dramas I've ever seen. It's a shame that it's one of those TV shows that has slipped through the cracks and been forgotten about.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Don't mention the war

[4/10 · 2 June 2012]

'Captain America: The First Avenger' is sadly disappointing - as a flashy, popcorn action movie it's fine, but otherwise it's quite empty and there's a distinct lack of period atmosphere (especially compared to director Joe Johnston's earlier pulp-era superhero film, 1991's THE ROCKETEER). I suspect the latter is deliberate, as 'Captain America: The First Avenger' actually isn't a WWII movie: although Nazi Germany is referred to a few times at the beginning, Steve Rogers is basically portrayed as a young man desperate to serve his country in A War Overseas. And from about a third of the film onwards, the Third Reich, Hitler, the Axis powers, and the Allies' campaigns on various fronts simply aren't mentioned, and instead the narrative is exclusively about Cap and his band of elite commandos targeting the Hydra organisation. In other words, it's a movie in which covert Special Forces battle against a terrorist network - this is really a film about the War on Terror, with the WWII setting being mere window-dressing.

I suspect that the producers decided to take this current/relevant approach due to the fact that all previous superhero movies set in the Thirties or Forties - THE SHADOW (1994), THE PHANTOM (1995), SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW (2004), the aforementioned ROCKETEER, all the way back to DOC SAVAGE: MAN OF BRONZE (1975) - had undeservedly flopped.

'Captain America: The First Avenger' bucked the trend by being a box office success, but in my opinion all the earlier 1930s-period superhero films that I've listed above, together with the previous, low budget 'Captain America' movie that was released straight-to-video in 1990, are considerably better and more enjoyable than 'The First Avenger'.

Global Frequency (2005 TV Movie)

The Greatest TV Series Never Made

[9/10 · 20 March 2012]

Back in the early Noughties, writer Warren Ellis created the twelve issue mini-series Global Frequency for DC Comics. It concerned the titular semi-secret organisation, created to deal with the kind of immediate, potentially catastrophic crisis-es that most of the world's governments had neither the imagination or foresight to plan for, let alone deal with. While some members of the Global Frequency were highly-trained and/or experts in their chosen field - such as ex-soldiers, marksmen, scientists, etc - many more were ordinary people living perfectly normal lives, who just happened to have a particular skill or talent, or know a certain piece of information, that might prove to be vitally important should a certain situation occur. In which case their phone would ring and they'd suddenly find themselves with an hour or less in which to save the world. Over the course of those twelve issues, the Global Frequency dealt with malfunctioning next-generation weapons systems, experimental cutting edge super-science gone horribly wrong, and the accidental activation of forgotten Cold War-era doomsday devices, amongst other things.

A pilot episode for a proposed TV series about the Global Frequency was produced in 2005, with Michelle Forbes playing the organisation's founder & leader Miranda Zero (having read the initial comic book series when it was originally published, I can confirm that the fabulous Forbes is perfect casting for the role), but the network decided not to commission it. There was a time when it was common practice to make full length pilot movies, so even if a series wasn't greenlit at least there was still a ninety minute made-for-TV film that would usually be broadcast and/or released on VHS. But from the early Nineties onwards, as a cost saving measure the networks decided to just make 45 minute-long pilot episodes instead, and those that failed to progress to a full series are often never seen by the general public.

However, the Global Frequency pilot was leaked on-line, became readily available as an illegal download, received universally positive reviews and swiftly gained a sizeable following. The pilot's fanbase hoped that it's popularity on-line would cause the network to reconsider it's decision not to greenlight a full series, but the opposite proved to be true: nowadays, downloads of TV shows are so common that most channels & networks have adopted a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach, and have made downloads of their shows available on their own websites. But back in 2005 the leaking of Global Frequency was a high profile embarrassment and ran as a major news story in the entertainment press. Warren Ellis has stated in interviews that the network were so affronted that not only was any possible revival of the project killed stone dead, they have also repeatedly refused requests for the pilot to be released on DVD.

I finally got the chance to see Global Frequency in late 2011, and as a fan of the original comic book series I can report that it lived up to both it's reputation (the British newspaper 'Metro' once ran a page-long article about the pilot, in which they described Global Frequency as "the greatest TV series never made") and my own high expectations. Believe the hype.

Merlin: The Return (2000)

By the power of Greysku - Stonehenge! I meant Stonehenge!!

[6/10 · 19 March 2012]

British screenwriter/producer/director Paul Matthews set up his own production company Peakviewing Entertainment in the early Nineties, and started out making low budget horror movies that were filmed in the UK but set in America. By the end of the decade, both Matthews and Peakviewing had graduated to slightly-larger budgeted productions (family films, children's fantasy movies, even a few westerns) that were still British financed, but mostly shot in South Africa.

Written and directed by Matthews, MERLIN: THE RETURN is probably the best known example of Peakviewing's output, and even received a wide cinema release in the UK, opening in over one hundred screens across the country during the Christmas holidays in 2000. Presumably titled to trick audiences into thinking it was a sequel to the internationally acclaimed Hallmark TV mini-series MERLIN (1998) starring Sam Neill, MERLIN: THE RETURN includes an inspired piece of left-field casting (Rik Mayall as Merlin), some familiar B movie faces (Adrian Paul, Craig Sheffer), a couple of former A listers on the slide (Patrick Bergin, Tia Carrere) and assorted unknowns who didn't go on to appear in anything of note (in particular, Julie Hartley as Guinevere).

The plot: approximately 1500 years ago, a final battle at Stonehenge ended with King Arthur (Bergin) and his knights surrounded and vastly outnumbered by Mordred (Sheffer) and his army. With Arthur already badly wounded and left emotionally shattered by Mordred's revelation that Guinevere had been unfaithful with Lancelot (Paul), Merlin desperately used the energy contained within the standing stones to cast a spell that banished Mordred, his followers, Guinevere and Lancelot to a dismal dimension called the Neitherworld. The wizard also placed Arthur and his knights in a deep slumber, from which they would only awaken if Mordred menaced the world again. Cut to the present-day, and Merlin - rendered immortal by magical means - is living as a hermit in a village close to Stonehenge and regarded as a harmless eccentric by the locals. However, a scientist named Maxwell (Carrere) is conducting experiments involving Earth's magnetic field that are weakening the spell keeping Mordred imprisoned in the Neitherworld, and thus also cause Arthur and his knights to awaken. Reunited with his king, Merlin must find a way to prevent Mordred from re-entering our world.

MERLIN: THE RETURN is an entertaining romp, if you're in an undemanding mood, and as a tale of otherworldly warriors continuing their battle on contemporary Earth, it feels like a British version of the live-action MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE movie (1987). The biggest surprise is Rik Mayall, who plays the titular role remarkably straight and emerges as the film's strongest asset. He also gets a great set-piece when Merlin single-handedly wreaks mystical havoc at Maxwell's laboratory. Taking his cue from Mayall, Bergin also takes his role seriously, while clearly being aware of the comedy inherent in having time-displaced, sword-waggling Dark Age warriors let loose in the 21st century. Accordingly, Bergin teases some humour into scenes where Arthur finds himself in unlikely situations - such as Merlin insisting that the best way to contact the Lady of the Lake is for the king to throw himself off a cliff. Adrian Paul came to MERLIN: THE RETURN having spent most of the preceding decade starring in HIGHLANDER: THE SERIES, so playing a sword-welding immortal must have come as second nature to him, and indeed he portrays Lancelot as just another member of the clan MacLeod. But it's a nicely-judged performance that catches exactly the right tone for the film. Julie Hartley makes for a spirited Guinevere, and especially looks the part when she changes into golden chainmail and armour halfway through the film. She also has great chemistry with Mayall - so much so that Guinevere and Merlin feel more like a natural couple than Guinevere does with either Arthur or Lancelot. Sheffer glowers, snarls and barks his way through the role of Mordred, and while he does have some effective moments, he often seems more like a street-corner thug instead of the regal Dark Overlord and potential world-conqueror that he's supposed to be. As Maxwell, Tia Carrere doesn't even try to explore the psyche of someone prepared to sell out the human race for her own narrow-minded personal gain, instead choosing to do just enough to earn her pay cheque, no more.

Although clearly intended to be a family film (Merlin is befriended and aided by two pre-teen children - an English girl and American boy for that all-important trans-Atlantic appeal), MERLIN: THE RETURN contains some surprisingly adult themes: Mordred and his mother Morgana (Grethe Fox) have an openly incestuous relationship; Guinevere's adultery with Lancelot is an important plot-point; Mordred surrounds himself with scantly-clad witches, handmaidens and female warriors (one of the latter is played by Lee-Anne Liebenberg, who went on to the higher profile role of Viper in Neil Marshall's DOOMSDAY) and while jaunting through the Neitherworld, Lancelot & Arthur stumble across the villain's personal harem; and at the film's conclusion, after Mordred has been defeated and Arthur & the knights decide they don't belong in the 21st century and choose to make a new home for themselves in the Neitherworld, they take Maxwell with them as their prisoner (presumably so she can't cause more mischief on Earth) and it's made clear that her future consists solely of being Gawain's unwilling sex slave.

The final credits state that MERLIN: THE RETURN is dedicated to actress Kadamba Simmons, who starred in Paul Matthews' first two movies, GRIM (1995) and BREEDERS (1997, aka DEADLY INSTINCTS), and was tragically murdered, aged just 24, shortly after the second film was completed. Patrick Bergin and Craig Sheffer later both starred in another Peakviewing movie directed by Matthews, a HIGHLANDER-style fantasy called BERSERKER: HELL'S WARRIOR (2004). At the time of writing, BERSERKER remains the last film made by Matthews and/or Peakviewing.