yohnny Reviews

Saturday Night Live: Nate Bargatze/Foo Fighters (2023) Season 49, Episode 3

CRACKED: High School Autumn Assembly Skits

[1/10 · 5 November 2023]

The imitations of Joe Biden and Fran Drescher were both inaccurate and amateurish.

Jost and Che haven't been fired yet. Why is it taking so long to get rid of that giggling duo?

The Foo Fighters foned it in.

The writer's room time-filler sketch was, as always, the expected nothing burger .

Walken looked awkward surrounded by amateur actors.

The cute trick-or-treaters couldn't have stolen the show because there was no show to steal.

The Foo Fighters foned it in again.

Nate Bargatze can't act and can barely tell an amusing anecdote. The audience laughter sounded like the canned variety.

The chef contest bit was bland, poorly seasoned and the presentation was lackluster.

"Weekend Update" made fun of Mike Johnson for being a generic and interchangeable conservative politician. He could have hosted this episode.

At last, the cast finally assembled on stage for their traditional SNL group hug. Nobody else wants to hug them. Chris Walken still looked awkward.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Story of Film: An Odyssey (2011)

Excellent Restorations of Early Film Clips with Annoying Amateurish Narration

[2/10 · 4 November 2023]

Obviously, this was intended to be Mark Cousins' magnum opus and labor of love. His "brilliant insights" into the vast panorama of worldwide cinema history offer little more than the equivalent of a college elective course in Film Appreciation. Whether it was pure ego, jealous guardianship of his precious concoction, budget restraints or all three combined which led him to make the gigantic blunder of casting himself (or allowing himself to accept the role) as the presenter/narrator is anyone's guess.

The entire series should be redubbed by a professional voice actor.

Apparently, he fancies himself to be filmmaker in his own right despite being unskilled in the craft.

Apart from some beautifully restored and crystal clear film clips from the earliest years of the motion picture industry, it is mostly a "been there, done that" journey down memory lane with Mark Cousins as your inept "Mr. Know-It-All" museum docent. That Irish upspeaking, sing-song, leprechaun inflection is enough to provoke the hurling of a brick at the TV screen.

Did I mention that Mark Cousins has no talent for voice work? Is that how he normally talks on the phone?

Mark, next time, assign the voice track to one or more professionals. You ruined your own pet project!

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Pete Davidson/Ice Spice (2023) Season 49, Episode 1

CRACKED: Resurrection

[1/10 · 27 October 2023]

Pete Davidson appears to have been resurrected from the dead and has about as much charisma as an Eggo waffle.

The cast, returning from the overly publicized strikes, showed signs of fatigue from their ordeal.

Is Lorne Michaels still in charge? Davidson's perfunctory opening statement referencing the current wars had a credibility gap that you could drive a truck through.

Always fast-forward through those recurring writer's room sketches. They are predictably and consistently just a boring filler segment.

This season "premiere" sucked and blew simultaneously in violation of all the known laws of physics.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Batman (2022)

Man, This is Bad. This is Bad, Bad, Bad. This is Extremely Bad, Man.

[1/10 · 5 September 2023]

Right off the bat (pun intended), it would be remiss not extend kudos to Paul Dano for his unmasked performance as the nerdy, bespectacled, psychopathic villain with a penchant for riddles. His tormented rant from behind bars is as good or better than any of the many brilliant nutcase portrayals seen on Law and Order, CSI and the like. Dano upstaged Pattinson and stole what little there was of the show to steal. He deserved a better showcase for his talent.

Riddles aside, the script is bad. The music and soundtrack are bad. The acting is bad. The cinematography is bad. The editing is bad. The special effects are bad. The sets and costumes are bad. The car chase is bad. The fights are bad. The dialog is bad. Even the explosions are bad.

The tragedy is that it is not quite bad enough to be good. It's just plain lousy filmmaking.

It's not hard to imagine the producers and directors viewing a rough cut of this hodgepodge of footage in the early stages and asking among their assemblage of lost souls, "What can we do to salvage this pile of garbage?"

"I've got it!" exclaims some nerd from film school. "Let's make every scene in the entire movie literally dark, out-of-focus and obscured by shadows. That way, maybe no one will notice that it sucks."

"Brilliant idea! It will revive the film noir genre!"

"It will be looked upon as a great masterpiece of motion picture art and science."

"I'm aleady practicing my speech for the Oscars."

"See you there, down in the front row!"

PLEASE NOTE: This movie is of exceptionally poor quality.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Blacklist: The Nowhere Bride (No. 192) (2023) Season 10, Episode 14

Audio-Visual Sleeping Pills: Minority Fiancées on Parade

[2/10 · 9 June 2023]

The Task Force tackles a sophisticated and lucrative international scamming operation. Reddington steps in and sets everyone straight about this 21st century mail-order bride racket and it's all-hands-on-deck to right the wrongs and to console the unwitting victims of organized crime.

At least, I guess that's what is was about. I fell asleep watching it and resumed the episode later.

It was as if they had found some unused "The Equalizer" (1985-89) scripts lying around the Universal production offices and tried to tweak them into "The Blacklist" storyline. Whatever their strategy, it didn't work.

If you need a marriage counselor, don't call on Raymond Reddington. He has too much on his plate already.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Blacklist: The Sicilian Error of Color (2023) Season 10, Episode 13

"Days of Our Lives" Meets "The Young and the Restless"

[3/10 · 4 June 2023]

With the intermittent accompaniment of an annoying generic music track, resembling what you might hear while waiting to connect to a customer service representative, we go on a few convoluted sojourns into the murky past.

Later, we examine a Tiffany lamp and a rare stamp along with an eclectic assortment of relics and lost treasures.

Everybody is greedy for more information about the elusive Raymond "Red" Reddington including his whereabouts. Duh!

Each episode is somewhat of a cliffhanger but this time they forgot to include the cliff.

When people start giving away their stuff, a red flag goes up suggesting self-destructive tendencies and/or depression. Will "Red" get into even more hot water than he's already in now or is he actually nothing more than another red herring when all is said and done?

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of "As the World Turns."

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Ana de Armas/Karol G (2023) Season 48, Episode 18

CRACKED: Sabado Gigante Compound Fracture

[1/10 · 21 April 2023]

Darrell Hammond's tribute to announcer Don Pardo is the best thing about the show every week.

New Yorkers, we are led to believe, might issue a warning via live TV remote that Central Park is an undesireable place to visit and that tourists will be disappointed. You could call it a failed attempt at self-deprecating humor. The show started off on the wrong foot and tumbled downhill from then on. There were no redeeming moments.

The guys in the writer's room are consistently obnoxious. Could those dorks be the actual "SNL" writers? If so, that would explain a lot.

The multiple nipples gag fell flat.

The bit about multiple flubbed takes in the recording studio fell flat.

The Spanish teacher sketch cayó plano ("fell flat" in Spanish).

Karol G was nothing to write home about either. She was upstaged by her own belly button.

Che and Jost were just as annoying as usual.

The table was round and the salad bowl was round but the restaurant skit itself was flatter than a crepe.

The nail salon closer appeared to be nothing more than a time filler. Guinness World Records did get a free mention, however.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Quinta Brunson/Lil Yachty (2023) Season 48, Episode 16

CRACKED: Everything Cracked Everywhere All at Once

[1/10 · 4 April 2023]

If only Bevis and Butt-Head could have been there to make some of their trademark sarcastic comments about Lil Yachty's ridiculous costume and annoying performance, it may have gone something like this:

"You suck!"

"Why is his name Lil Yachty? Does he like own a small yacht?"

"Get out of my TV set, dumbass!"

"Is he trying to look like a buffalo or what? Hey dude, you're lame! Heh, heh. Take some singing lessons at a community college."

There was some cracked cocaine, cracked bridesmaids, a cracked game show, a cracked midwife and a cracked tour of New York City ethnic food restaurants.

The sooner that Lorne dumps Che and Jost, the better.

I had never heard of Quinta. She did not contribute much to this particularly cracked episode.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Oscars (I) (2023 TV Special)

Bologna

[1/10 · 18 March 2023]

Nobody in their right mind is going to pay their hard earned cash to see everything. It appears to have been the year of the stir fry wok of fame.

The adjective that I would use regarding the telecast is forgettable.

It was a gigantic waste of time. Top Gun was obviously the best movie.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences derailed many years ago and has never recovered.

As an American, I love Hollywood. There was a report of light snow at the famous Hollywood sign recently. Me and a pal snooped around it in the 1970s. I took some pictures. Those letters are pretty damned large when seen up close in person. It was originally a real estate advertisement and has since become an iconic symbol of the entertainment industry.

More than likely, I will view the Oscars on TV every year no matter how crappy it is. It is a tradition like the Super Bowl.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Travis Kelce/Kelsea Ballerini (2023) Season 48, Episode 14

CRACKED: Super Glued

[4/10 · 8 March 2023]

Mr. Coffee AKA baseball star Joe Dimaggio, married to Marilyn Monroe for one year, took a stab at show biz. Joe later resented being referred to as Mr. Coffee.

The skit about the restaurant waiter/server doing a background check was amusing.

Yep, famous athletes can become actors and politicians. Arnold was elected to be the governor of a state. Ditto Jesse Ventura.

My reaction to this episode was that it returned somewhat to the old theater of the absurd that I relish. No COKE! PEPSI!

Not being familiar with Ballerini, I enjoyed her performance and style.

Over all, the show was an improvement on the past few episodes which were really crappy.

Keep up the "good" work!

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Woody Harrelson/Jack White (2023) Season 48, Episode 13

CRACKED: Cracked Wider and Deeper

[1/10 · 27 February 2023]

Because beloved actresses Elizabeth Montgomery and Farrah Fawcett both died from colon cancer, the parody about mailing in your stool to the laboratory rubbed me the wrong way.

Speaking of colons, dumping Jost and Che would be a smart move.

The obvious canned laughter is irritating.

The musical interludes were totally forgettable.

The show has deteriorated to the point that it has become an unpleasant chore to get through instead of a Saturday night tradition.

Is Lipowitz senile or what? When did he let go of the steering wheel?

The show violates the basic laws of physics. It simultaneously sucks and blows.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Pedro Pascal/Coldplay (2023) Season 48, Episode 12

CRACKED Goes to Italy

[1/10 · 6 February 2023]

Yeah, they really went there. The sketch about the rude waiters at the Italian restaurant which oddly enough featured jumbo-sized bowls of chili on the menu was a junior high school play on steroids (or dare I say crack?) and even old Kenan made an appearance in a politically incorrect Chef Boyardee hat.

The waiters had some sort of conspiracy theory about snubbing one individual gal in a party of ladies to motivate the other women to leave bigger tips because they were flattered by the extra attention. The premise of the joke was way to complicated and the bit fell flat.

I applaud Kenan, as the senior cast member, for attempting to do a stereotypical Italian accent. Alas, it was all pretty lame.

An Asian restaurant skit with some stir fry, wok, rice, noodle or chopsticks jokes would have been more entertaining.

My hopes were high that a food fight would break out involving chili but it never happened.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman

FOOTNOTE: For any readers who may not be familiar with CRACKED magazine, it was a rip off of MAD magazine but of lower quality.

Saturday Night Live: Michael B. Jordan/Lil Baby (2023) Season 48, Episode 11

CRACKED: The Ultimate Crack

[1/10 · 30 January 2023]

Nothing to see here. Move along.

This episode of New York City's twin huge embarrassments, right alongside the failing fish wrapper*, could barely be considered a legit TV show. It filled an empty time slot on the NBC roster and that was the extent of it.

Seeing a venerable "live" broadcast die right in front of your eyes is traumatic for anyone who has been a loyal fan. Now brain dead beyond any true hope of resuscitation, this former staple of weekend viewing must be put to rest with as much dignity as humanely possible.

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.

The time has come to pull the plug.

RIP SNL

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

*The term "fish wrapper" refers simply to newspaper traditionally used to wrap fresh fish at a neighborhood market or a greasy batch of fish and chips from a local pub. The implication or subtext is that the pulp daily has no use otherwise.

Saturday Night Live: Aubrey Plaza/Sam Smith (2023) Season 48, Episode 10

STILL CRACKED Attempted Revival

[3/10 · 23 January 2023]

Chloe Fineman's imitatation of Jennifer Coolidge was the only bit worth remembering. She's always great.

The Miss Universes loudly shouting out the names of the countries which they represented was pretty damned funny!

Jost and Che were their same boring, giggling and dull selves as always. Scarlett should file divorce papers immediately on the grounds of spousal dorkism.

Aubrey Plaza goes blonde and then introduces her swarthy grandma sitting in the audience.

I am concerned about Lorne Michaels (not to be confused with Lorne Greene of "Bonanza" fame). Did he lose his touch or lose touch with reality?

The Avatar parody had potential but other than the blue makeup and fake ears was pretty lame.

Who is Sam Smith?

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Tales from the Loop: Loop (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Been There, Done That.

[2/10 · 26 November 2022]

A jumbo-sized and gravitationally-challenged disco ball (nicknamed "the Eclipse") located at the center of an underground circular tunnel (nicknamed "the Loop") controls the destiny of mankind or at least anyone who likes to hike in the snow above the secret laboratory.

Hey, they mounted the camera on a tripod and sometimes it's even in sharp focus!

Possibly, the producers couldn't afford a real orchestra and opted instead for some dork with a synthesizer who can do wind chimes, maracas, marimbas, oboes, repetitive piano keyboard exercises, flutes and cellos along with some ominous hums, thumps, creaks and groans. It really gets under your skin after a while.

The dialog is truncated and inane.

"Are you going inside that old house?"

"Yes, I am."

Is this about robotics, genetic engineering, cloning, time-travel, reincarnation, exploring black holes or artificial intelligence? Your guess is as good as mine. Don't miss the next tedious episode!

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Amy Schumer/Steve Lacy (2022) Season 48, Episode 5

CRACKED PLUS: Fallen + Can't Get Up

[1/10 · 7 November 2022]

The "Big Dumb Hat" infomercial would have been funnier if all three of the hats had become progressively much dumber and bigger instead of just the one in the middle gaining a ridiculously wide brim. It was a missed opportunity.

Cecily Strong's imitation of a truck beeping as it slowly backed up was cute.

Otherwise, I didn't get the jokes. Actually, I got all of the jokes. They were not funny.

Kenan did his usual best to chime in a few times and hold down the fort.

"Don't kick a dead mule," you say? What if the poor beast has merely fallen and can't get up? You might be performing an act of kindness.

The celebrity hostess added nothing special to the show. I've never heard of the music guest.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

America's Got Talent: Qualifiers 5 (2022) Season 17, Episode 19

Combo Platters Galore

[3/10 · 9 September 2022]

Among others, a Kate Smith/Janis Joplin wannabe, a prestidigitator/rapper, a troop of backup singer/dancers who backed up nothing, an interpretive dancer/acrobat who was up for interpretation, a stand-up/sit-down/stand-up/sit-down "wild card" joker, a poles apart pole dancer/climber, a knife throwing/pole dancing act and a hip-hopping squad of hula hooper/gymnasts all trod the boards in Pasadena tonight.

Las Vegas has a bottomless pool of perspiring aspirants.

There is/was something/plenty for everyone/everybody! The audience alone consisted of 600 characters.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

America's Got Talent: Qualifiers 1 Results (2022) Season 17, Episode 12

It's All About the Judges, the Audience and the Stage Effects

[3/10 · 13 August 2022]

The mostly lackluster talent plays second fiddle to the inane interplay between the gang of four grinning judges, the overly enthusiastic audience members with their phony closeup reactions and the rock-concert-style loud music and fireworks in the backgound. If the contestant has a sob story about a terminal illness, being a victim of bullying or having a dream of coming to America from a third world country to hit it big in show biz, then they will be first in line to get a golden buzzer from their compassionate celebrity panelists.

A lot of the acts, contortionists for example, might find steady work at a carnival sideshow or county fair.

Yeah, the show attracts eyeballs despite the minimum of actual talent being put on public display.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Undercover (2008) Season 9, Episode 15

There are Moles and Then There are Moles

[5/10 · 11 June 2022]

Add prison guard aka correctional officer to the list of lowest form of human life along with used car salesman and lawyer. Any undercover cop operation spells dire danger. Marijuana was still a big deal back in 2008 and was always a no no. This episode is another standout within Mariska's solid body of work.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Perry Mason: The Case of the Golden Oranges (1963) Season 6, Episode 20

Hardtack Steals the Show

[5/10 · 10 June 2022]

Uncredited Hardtack the Dog isn't given much screen time but, given the opportunity, he attacks his small role with energy and professionalism. Hunnicutt/Keller and Hardtack make a likeable and convincing duo. Fans of Sunkist® and Minute Maid® along with dog lovers should paricularly appreciate this quirky episode.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Chicago P.D.: Buried Secrets (2020) Season 7, Episode 19

Sex, Lies and Traffic Cams

[7/10 · 10 June 2022]

Blind alleys, family skeletons in the closet, mental illness, red herrings, guns and duct tape all add up to a fast-paced who-done-what-to-whom nail-biter. Escalation plays intriguing counterpoint to de-escalation. The vintage Chicago architecture is a bonus.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain (2021)

It Required a Cast and Crew of 600 to Make That?

[1/10 · 6 June 2022]

The only things ever in sharp focus were the real cats' whiskers, Benedict's fake nose and the cat paintings in the closing titles. Possibly in a miguided attempt to emulate the hazy look of 19th-century oil paintings obscured by coats of yellowed varnish and tobacco smoke or the sepia photographic prints of the era, varying degrees of soft focus and color saturation are utilized randomly throughout the picture with some jarring moments of lens flare thrown in capriciously here and there. Even the kaleidoscopic/psychedelic sequence was a bit of a blur.

Director Will Sharpe and cinematographer Erik Wilson are obviously admirers of Stanley Kubrick's work. Nice try guys but no cigar.

To add insult to injury, Nick Cave (not to be confused with Nick Cage) looks nothing like H. G. Wells.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

America's Got Talent: Auditions 1 (2022) Season 17, Episode 1

1 Amateur Hour + 1 Amateur Hour = 2 Amateur Hours

[2/10 · 1 June 2022]

Both nearing quinquagenarian status now, Heidi and Sofia are still knockouts whereas the parade of alleged "talent" was predominantly of the been-there-done-that variety. Ted Mack must be spinning in his grave. There was no combined dog-and-pony show but there were some separate dog and pony acts.

The stark reality is that America does not have a great abundance of exceptional talent. That is an awfully rare commodity to come by.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Night Sky: Compensation (2022) Season 1, Episode 8

J. Jonah Jameson and Carrie White Go to Mars

[5/10 · 27 May 2022]

"Days of Our Lives" meets "The X-Files" in this dialog-driven drama. If marital squabbles, family alienation and resentment, the challenges of elder care and mistrust between neighbors does not float your boat, then this may not be your cup of tea.

Like any good suspense story worth its salt, the show does keep us guessing throughout all 8 episodes.

Some imagination is mandatory to compensate for a few deficits in production values but that's okay. Sit back in your recliner and enjoy the conversation along with the ride.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.

Saturday Night Live: Natasha Lyonne/Japanese Breakfast (2022) Season 47, Episode 21

CRACKED: Every Which Way Except Funny

[1/10 · 22 May 2022]

Alex Moffat's "Guy Who Just Bought a Boat" character with his pretentious The Hampton's air of superiority and risque rapid-fire double intendres is always an amusing bit. Too goofy to be vulgar, Alex has created a believable snob braggadocio. Hilarious!

Not being familiar with the career of Natasha Lyonne and going only on first impression, I anticipated a streetwise, smoking, drinking, maybe gum-chewing, wisecracking New York City broad somewhat comparable to Leah Remini. Instead, she was cast as an assortment of unappealing and forgettable characters with not much to do or say.

Japanese Breakfast has got to be one of the most boring groups ever to occupy the "SNL" stage.

Jost and Che are unlikely to have bright futures in the entertainment industry.

The alien abductee group therapy meeting was funny the first couple of times. Tonight's version, albeit a vocabulary builder, seemed more like a desperate cry for help than a comedy sketch.

"Talk amongst yourselves." ~ Linda Richman.