xfactor-78139 Reviews

Dragon Quest: Your Story (2019)

Wow...

[4/10 · 24 February 2020]

Let's be fair and allow me to state for the record that I did not see the entire movie. In fact I only saw about half of it before I gave up. The animation lead me along for a while but the plot... Dear god it was hard to watch in some places.

Animation and art are great. Frankly I've never seen a movie with animation quite this good before, although when watching the english dub the character's mouths look like you could insert your entire arm down their throats and they wouldn't be the slightest bit inconvenienced with how ridiculous they look when they talk. The characters are animated to speak japanese, but with their exaggerated animations for speaking combined with the disconnect of listening to the english dub the whole ensemble is quite hard to take seriously.

The story is utterly and completely incomprehensible. To make it brief, first it's a kid and dear old dad doing... Something? Then dad dies, kid grows up as a slave to a dragon. He breaks out with his friend, a prince, who disappears for the rest of the movie (I don't know if he appears again towards the end). Then there's a thing with obtaining a sword from a demon, then some weird subplot involving who the main character wants to marry. It was then I decided to stop, turn off the movie, and move on to this review.

Everything about this seems excruciatingly forced. Friends of the main character just sort of show up for no good reason, every single character just sort of appears like "Oh, who's this then?" with no explanation as to how the main character's childhood friend just happened to end up in the same in as him. 45 minutes into the movie and aside from the bit at the beginning there's no sign of the big bad we're supposed to want the main character to kill. It jumps from plotline to plotline, from the slave thing to the demon to weddings with nothing connecting the two, nothing ever has a moment to sink in or time to have anything of value done with it. The slave thing was only mentioned once after the aforementioned escape sequence, then he essentially turned into a wandering hero and never thought of it again.

I can't blame it for feeling this rushed. They essentially had to cram the plotline of a game meant to be completed in 30 hours or so into an hour and a half, and quite frankly I feel it impossible to do something like that. But I feel like they could have taken some time to stitch their many rambling plotlines together a bit better. Stuff just seems to "Happen" in this, essentially. If you want to watch it, watch for the animation rather than the story. It's certainly worth appreciating in that regard. There's lots of itty-bitty details in there, some of which I think are easter eggs meant more for fans of the series. I won't spoil them here. It is indeed a visual spectacle worth observing. It's just a shame the plot can't seem to back it up.

I Lost My Body (2019)

It lost me in the first five minutes

[2/10 · 10 December 2019]

I think the turnoff point was where the hand accidentally murdered the pigeon. Great animation, sure, but something about the presentation triggers those brain cells in my head that say I do NOT want to be watching this. Definitely would not recommend to friends and family.

Marianne (2019)

Came here for spooks and was sorely disappointed.

[4/10 · 8 October 2019]

Ok, first off the english voice acting is horrible. Really hokey stuff it was. Now that that's out of the way... I don't know, I just wasn't scared of anything in this show. It's probably just me, but I wasn't truly scared by anything they showed off. There were unnerving bits, true, and things that came close to scary but this show just didn't deliver for me. I don't think the hokey voice acting was helping matters any though.

From a story perspective it's pretty good. If you're looking for more of a suspense story I recommend, the actors themselves are pretty good if you ignore the voice acting, facial expressions match the situation pretty well and the running themes are handled pretty nicely. But for me at least from the perspective of being scary I can only rate low, based off of my experiences.

Venom (2018)

Thoroughly enjoyable. Mostly, anyway.

[7/10 · 14 January 2019]

I quite liked this movie, it does a good job representing its characters. Tom Hardy looks like he's having fun with his role, and Venom himself, I can only describe him this beautifully strange and perfect combination of The Joker, Deadpool, and a heaping helping of his own murderous charm. I really don't have anything bad to say except it was really slow going for about the first third as they set up the story. Lots of exposition there, but once the title character appeared onscreen it was everything you'd want it to be with good action and lots of rampant destruction. if it weren't for that real slow first third of the story it'd be an easy 9/10. Still completely worth watching if you're willing to wait a bit.

The Hollow (2018–2020)

The ending ruined it...

[6/10 · 14 June 2018]

Ok, I loved this show. I wanted to rate this at least an 8/10. But then I watched the ending of the final episode, an BOY HOWDY I WAS TICKED. I was expecting some grand conspiracy of area 52-esque proportions! I was running theories the whole series! Were they robots programmed to think they were kids? were they government experiments? Were they dead and was this some sort of purgatory? Skip ahead to the last 4 episodes and it turns out they are in some sort of game. I'm thinking "Ok, they're going to pull a Sword Art Online and it's a playtest or something. It went wrong and now they are trapped in the game. Explains why they have seemingly random powers and why there are talking trees and space aliens in the same world." It could have been done well fairly easily. Then came the final episode. Finally a few answers as to what was going on. Suddenly a live action sequence jars its way into view and my first coherent thought was a simple "Wat?" They pressed the green button, and we were greeted with a live set, with a live audience, with our protagonists in three dimensions. That Weird Guy, also with a live actor, presents them with a trophy in the shape of that one symbol from the Atlantis movie and we're presented with a shocking and ugly truth. They were never in any danger. They never were in trouble when they were being chased by minotaurs, nor by flesh-eating aliens, or escaping witches. They never would have died to that gas at the beginning in that bunker. All the puzzles they did, all the clever tricks and daring escapes, all the people they helped and the battles they were in, THEY MEAN'T NOTHING. You know why? BECAUSE IT WAS ALL A FRIGGING GAME SHOW! What. The. Actual. HECK? You mean to tell me I watched an entire series, rattling of theories to anyone in earshot, and it amounted to nothing? This isn't pulling out the rug from under you. this is politely asking you to step off the rug, rolling the rug up, putting the rug in the attic where it can bother no one, and then politely asking you if you want a cinnamon scone.You could have chopped out the live action bit at the end and replaced it with how Porky Pig ends a loony toons cartoon and would amount to about the same thing.

It is very rare to find a show that is pointless in it's own existence. It's especially irritating because up until this point the show was great. True it wasn't Twin Peaks levels of mystery, but it was entertaining and had some decent action. And the pervading question of "What the heck is going on" was, of course, the main appeal. It's just when this question is answered in such an underwhelming and self-defeating way, you have to wonder why you watched in the first place. The reason I watched the show was to try and solve the mystery of why and where they were.Who was That Weird Guy? Why were there spaceships in that desert? How does a demon become a monk? things like that had a lot of draw. it was the mystery that kept you going. But when you learn that there was little to no point to any of that you just feel like you were tricked into trying to swallowing your foot. It makes no sense, is a complete waste of time, and makes you feel like an idiot afterwards. My advice is to watch it all the way up until they enter the castle, and stop right there. Go no further, but make up any ending you want in replacement for it. Go on to source film maker, or any other animation software you want, heck draw it in crayon if you have to, but you can undoubtedly make up a better 5 minutes than the ending.

Allow me to reiterate, as I have a tendency to rant so much I don't make much of a point. THE ENDING. BLOWS. Rest of the show, Great! Fantastic, perfect, 8/10, but FIRE THE GUY WHO MADE THE ENDING Netflix.

Kong: King of the Apes (2016–2018)

Good mindless fun

[8/10 · 13 May 2018]

So the characters aren't the most developed and there's a heavy-handed environmentalist message. WHO CARES? It's a giant bloody monkey, what did you expect? Do you need anything else? One of the last episodes of the recent season involved, no exaggeration, the giant monkey fighting a giant man-cyborg riding a T-rex-pteranodon hybrid in a former amusement park. It's like a Disney XD cartoon, mindless action of the best sort. You need no further explanation, It all boils down to the formula of "Giant Ape beats up dinosaurs and saves the day." There's always something going on onscreen and it did hold my interest pretty well. The characters, while not-well developed, didn't steer away from the action with layers of annoyance and boredom, which I appreciate. All and all, while it's no "Stranger Things" it is entertaining, as long as you don't expect much.

Akira (1988)

Meh...

[3/10 · 29 April 2018]

It's not for me. I can see why this appeals to so many people, the animation is fantastic for an older film, but it doesn't appeal much to me. It's depressing and too dark, and the biggest gripe I had was the blink-and-you-miss it appearance of the title character. Sure they yammer about Akira the whole movie but you barely see him at all. If you're going to name the entire movie after a character, why make it one that only appears for what amounts to the last four minutes of the movie? In my opinion he may as well not have even been in the movie. While in the same vein, how about how Tetsuo's powers appear? So let me get this straight, he almost runs over a gargoyle-like psychic with a motorcycle, who blows up said motorcycle the moment before he gets hit to escape unscathed while leaving Tetsuo half dead in the road, and somewhere in the intermediary between those two events he gets powers. SOMEHOW. So in this universe the easiest way to get psychic powers is to lurk around government facilities and commit vehicular manslaughter?

I didn't like the characters much either. They were street thugs, I get it, but think about it. If they weren't jerks, Tetsuo wouldn't have been out wrecking stuff with the rest of the gang, and therefore wouldn't have almost killed the gargoyle, and no one would have died. Literally the only reason that anything happens is that Tetsuo and his friends are violent destructive heathens! Upon reflection I don't really find anything likeable in any of the main characters aside from the psychics. They were just fine in my opinion, although the voice actors were a little flat in my opinion.

That's not to say that it's a bad movie. Far from it, it is exceptionally well made. It does its job of being a dark, gritty anime, with no detail spared. The characters react as expected, given their characters, and they do feel believable. But the bleak downward spiral ending in Tokyo turning into a crater is just to dark for me to find any appeal in.. I honestly do see why people love this film, but I personally find it hard to find any appeal in.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017–2019)

It faithfully follows the books and entertains like no other.

[10/10 · 29 April 2018]

I love this show. I really do. Pros and cons time!

Count Olaf! I'm sorry... Pros. Count Olaf! The most entertaining character in the whole frigging show. He's played so well, and you end up rooting for him in a backwards kind of way, if only to see what he does next.

Secondly it follows the syntax of the original books really well. It's a small thing, really, but is a nice touch to have the dialogue phrased like it would be if it was read straight from the book. Nice homage to the original books.

The art style is spot on, exactly like it is from the original books. everything has a strange, Burton-esque slant to it, like out of a cartoon, and it never looks quite right. This sounds bad, but it only lends to the atmosphere of the whole show.

I could go on, but on to the cons.

Ok, first off, don't expect to come across many intelligent adults while watching this. Excluding Count Olaf and a few VFD agents (who die later in the series anyway) every adult that exists appears to have some sort of mental deficiency. It's like they regressed to the intellectual capacity of a lizard. Issue is that it is a necessary evil, as that was how it was written in the books. Every adult in the books was a complete moron in some facet or another, and in order to preserve the atmosphere of the book that needed to stick.

Second of all, two words. Carmelita Spats. You will want to put this infuriating little beast in the darkest pits of the nether realm within 3.5 milliseconds of the first syllable that she utters, and only after flattening her to the approximate size and shape of a hubcap with an ice-cream scoop. You have been warned.

Other than that, yeah, Excellent show, 10/10, would recommend to anyone.

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

Not a masterpiece, but entertaining.

[7/10 · 29 April 2018]

I feel the reviews of this are a little harsh. Here's an objective view of this series.

Pros- Great visuals, ant they really nail the sci-fi aesthetic. Every piece of technology looks like something that could be made thirty years from now. The Robot, which in my opinion is the best part, is amazing looking. The plot is generally believable, if fairly flawed at times. When it is supposed to be funny, it is indeed funny.

Now for the cons. I'll start with my biggest gripe, the so-called "Smith". Any time this lady does ANYTHING I have to ask "Why though?" I have no frigging clue why Smith does ANYTHING she does in this show. What's her motivation? Does she want power over the crew? does she want to drag everyone into a horrible death? Does she want to be the only one living? She has literally NO REASON to do any of the things she's done on this show! If she causes everyone else to die she's stuck on a planet that is about to be turned into a crispy critter via the ultimate yugioh combo of Black Hole + The frigging sun! Practically anything she does to sabotage their escape attempts makes it that much more sure that she dies too!!!! Every time she does anything I want to grab her by the shoulders and scream at her for an explanation.

I need a moment....

Alright. My two other complaints are short. first off, you wouldn't know they were on an alien planet if it weren't for the space stuff they lug everywhere. They could be in Nevada for all I know. They show little to no alien flora and fauna. They should be fighting off alien beasts and stuff like that! Instead literally every source of conflict has been caused by someone's stupid decision. Which leads me to my other gripe. The only reason they are still stuck on this planet is because they keep making really stupid decisions Watch an episode and there will be several examples of them A. Lying to people about what is going on and only causing more issues, B. Sacrificing the one resource they need to get off the planet to save a person who dies anyway, or C. keeping a secret that makes people angry for no reason. Everyone just makes real bad decisions!

So in the end, it's fine. It's entertaining, but not perfect. Something nice to watch when you have nothing else to do. 7/10.

Into the Woods (2014)

too much freaking singing!

[1/10 · 5 April 2015]

I absolutely despised this movie. first of all, every other sentence was some form of song. I enjoy musicals as much as the next person, but who can tolerate that much verse? second of all, the plot was too confusing. Who's plot was the main plot? who is the main character? why is there so much singing? First it jumps to jack and the beanstalk, then Cinderella, then to some random baker's family, then to little red riding hood, who I assumed was who this movie was about, as the title song is her song (I know because I had to sing that song as a group for theater class). third of all, near the end things just get weird. an unnamed prince who married Cinderella has, shall we say, an "interesting" encounter with the Baker's wife. that was where I left the room, but the rest of the people who were watching it say that everyone important died.

In conclusion, don't do drugs, stay in school, and don't watch this movie! it is to preserve your sanity.